On the last Chris LoCurto Show episode, What You Have In Common With Wine, one of the things I discussed was the root system of grapes and how a strong root system makes a great wine.
Your life equals your root system.
Your life and your decision making process comes from your root system. In LifePlan, I spend time tying what’s happened in a persons life to their root system – family, influences, leadership, friends, etc. Whatever has happened in your past shapes the decisions you make today.
You are the sum of your past & your influences.
The way your parents treated you links back to the way their parents treated them and cycles into how you treat your children or family or team. If abuse, either emotional or physical is in your past, a pattern forms. Chances are, if you were abused, you’ll pendulum swing to your children and won’t discipline or will allow your children to control you. This only perpetuates a cycle. Healthy boundaries and healthy control are the key. Finding that center is one of the most important things we can discover.
Even the best parents (with the best intentions) might do something that came from their parents that causes a bad belief system. They might say one specific thing over and over to their child, expecting and hoping that it helps their kid to grow up well or understand, but they way they said it creates a bad belief system in the child. How crazy is that?
When we carry over the bad processes or belief systems, we perpetuate the same exact root system.
Will you ever be perfect? No. The perspective of understanding why you do what you do is vital to going forward. Some of you have to put serious boundaries in your life. Boundaries is a great book (one that I talk about all the time) that goes very in-depth on this issue.
All of these things make up who you are and how you make your decisions. When you understand where they come from, then you can make better decisions.