From Dysfunctional To Thriving
Here’s a great post by Lily Kreitinger. Lily specializes in helping leadership effectively train team members. Follow Lily at LilyKreitinger.com
I was born and raised in a dysfunctional family.
I knew this had greatly impacted my life in more ways than I even realized, and trying to better understand myself, I read the book “Living the Life You Were Meant to Live”.
While it was helpful, something was missing. I was still stuck. I needed more and realized I couldn’t get what I needed on my own.
On April 14, 2014, I took the plunge and started the LifePlan process with my friend and coach Chris LoCurto. To say it has been life-changing is a complete understatement. The two biggest learning outcomes of this experience have been:
1) I was born an raised in a dysfunctional family. I learned this from looking at my root system. (Learn about it here – Understanding Your Root System) One of my biggest discoveries was that my dad was an alcoholic. We never saw it like that and never talked about it in those terms.
My mom was abused emotionally, physically and mentally as a child. They were both adults physically but not emotionally or spiritually throughout their 36 years of marriage, which ended with my dad’s death from cancer at the age of 59.
They taught me to love God, but never taught us how much God loves me. They couldn’t because they didn’t know either. I never had a real relationship with the living God until now.
2) It’s incredible what 20 hours can do! Over the course of two days, I was able to find the answer to this question: “Why do I exist?” The answer moved me to tears (the whole process did). I, Lily Kreitinger, exist to “Live in relationship with God, love, lead and witness to His people and change lives.”
While I’m not yet at a place of understanding about my parents, I do have a very different perspective of who they really were: God’s beloved children, deeply hurt by others, broken and alone. No one taught them how to be great parents.
No one taught them how loved they were. Now I can honor my dad’s memory and begin to heal the relationship with my mom. My mom is like a broken little girl in an adult body. I have learned that I will honor my parents as they follow Christ and that boundaries are necessary and not disrespectful.
I can now start to heal and grow in my marriage. For ten years, my husband tried to help me see how toxic the relationship with my parents was and until I understood the impact of the root system, I was unable to listen.
If you have read about LifePlan and are considering it, be prepared for a 180-degree turn in your life. You and the ones you love the most are worth it. Your Father is waiting for you in the Upper Room, with open arms.
If you would like to learn more about my experience with Chris, please feel free to contact me on Twitter @lilykreitinger.