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Chris LoCurto


April 29, 2014

How Pride Holds You Back [Podcast]

April 29, 2014 | By | 18 Comments">18 Comments

Today’s podcast is all about asking for help and getting past our pride to do so.

Subscribe to the podcast: iTunes  Stitcher Radio  SoundCloud

People are afraid to ask for help. They get to a place where asking for help makes them think:

  • They’ll look stupid
  • They cant do what they’re trying to accomplish
  • They’ll look foolish in the eyes of their team, boss, family, etc.

Oftentimes, when we ask for help, we feel indebted. Where does this come from? Our past. I dove into the topic of Understanding Your Root System on the last podcast and if you haven’t listened, check it out.

So much of this pride comes from lessons taught to us by caregivers like parents, family, teachers, etc. When we rely on someone and they’re not dependable, we stop asking for help. We don’t want to be let down. We don’t want to be a burden. We don’t want to let somebody else down either.

When that happens, we’re holding ourselves back from growing.

When you need help but don’t reach out, you stop growing. As a leader, you’re not only holding yourself back but you’re holding the whole team back when you don’t ask for help. Tap the collective intelligence of your team! It will only grow your team – you’re not the only one with great ideas. You’ll get buy in, respect and loyalty. When you don’t ask, they know it. When somethings not working well and your team sees that you’re not able to pull it off, they know it!

Start asking for help. It’ll change your team, your family and YOU!

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Question: Where do you need help?


  • Ricardo Butler

    This was a great podcast. I’m that type of person who doesn’t like asking for help, but will sometimes over extend, out give, and serve much I believe it’s mostly because I take literally that verse “to owe no many anything but to love them.” If I want to be in debt let it not be for any other reason I hate owing folks. So asking for help is difficult for me. I mean the Lord has to really push me out of my comfort zone just to ask for help. Thanks for sharing because pride is really the true cause.

  • Joshua Rivers

    I tell my kids that I know everything, and what I don’t know, my wife knows. I do this in jest, but I know it tends to flow into the rest of my life as well. This stops me from asking for help because I have to admit that I really don’t know it all.

  • Aron Darling

    Navigation is my biggest area I am lacking. I can make a plan to get to a destination once I have the destination, it’s zeroing in on a specific destination that is hard for me to choose.

    • Chris LoCurto

      I completely understand Aaron. Do you have anyone around you who can give quality input?

      • Aron Darling

        Yes; I am in the Mentor-ship Program with the John Maxwell Team and getting great direction from them.

  • Queen Wells

    Wow…great information

    • Chris LoCurto

      Thank you Queen Wells!

  • Lily Kreitinger

    I need help admitting that, in spite of people’s perception of me, I am not superwoman ;0)

    • Chris LoCurto

      haha…I completely disagree. ;-)

      • Lily Kreitinger

        I meant I tend to be the helper much more often than admit I need to be the helpee :)

        • Jon D Harrison

          Lily – that’s quite difficult to break out of. I feel it all the time – I’m ok helping others with anything, but it almost physically painful to ask for help. I don’t typically think of it as pride – my motive has been not wanting to bother others. But I guess it comes back to the same thing?

  • Bruce R. Cross

    Chris – needed help recently from a long term friend, tapping his expertise re: some options in a specific area. It was humbling, but oh so freeing and it has me on a new course with respect to the need in my world for now.
    Yes….your are making a difference in the lives of others!!!

    • Chris LoCurto

      Thank you Bruce! That means a lot to me!!

  • Jill Boorman

    SO great Chris! Thank you! Needed to hear this today!

    • Chris LoCurto

      Absolutely Jill!

  • Matt Ham

    Chris – I’ve been asked to speak on Philippians 2 at our church in June. As I’ve been pouring into the passage, the clear charge is humility – the archenemy of pride. I’ve been doing a lot of reading on pride, mostly CS Lewis, and am amazed at how prevalent it is as a roadblock to true life.

    Lewis calls it “spiritual cancer” and his writings in it in Mere Christianity and The Screwtape Letters is unreal.

    I’m in the middle of a post on humility now through the lens of pride.

    Great topic!

    Where I struggle is learning who to trust. Your thoughts?

    • Chris LoCurto

      I think the only issue with trusting people is if we put them on a pedestal at the same time. We are ALL human and we will ALL fail. So my trust is based on an inner understanding that you may fail me at some point, but if I know that, I can have Grace instead of pain.

      Does that make sense?

      • Matt Ham

        I’m with you on that, but, I was implying who to trust with advice, information, help, etc.

        Am I making sense?