How This Couple Discovered Their Strongest Life, 17 Years Later
If you’re not getting the things you need, don’t wait…change. How? By choosing to change. You have to make the choice.
Today we are talking with some fantastic people. Mike and Cathy have been through Next-Level Life individually, and had phenomenal experiences. We like to share this, because we get people asking all the time, wanting to know what it’s like, wanting to hear about the process and results from the inside. We love hearing from people who have experienced this event.
They can say it better than I can, because they’re telling their story. It’s a powerful story… Here’s our conversation:
Q: What was life like before your Next-Level Life Events?
Cathy: Life was full of misunderstanding. I did not know how to get perspective on what was happening, how I was reacting, and what the reality of the situation was. There was a lot of confusion. I thought what we did was normal, I told myself, “It just, is, that’s how it is and how I deal with it.” I didn’t realize I was confused. I was used to seeing the same results…
Mike: It was a lot of anger, hurt, frustration…insecurity. When I tried to grasp for control, and people didn’t understand that I was trying to make things better, I would hurt people in the process. I was a control freak causing damage to my family, that’s not what I wanted to do. It was an insane spiral of me feeling insecure, and grabbing for control.
That’s something we walk through in Next-Level Life, that control is an illusion.
Q: Why did it take you so long to decide to come through the event?
Mike: Self-worth. I didn’t feel like I was the guy who could be successful with the tools from the process. I wanted to be that guy, but couldn’t see myself that way. My internal conversation was 24/7, and very self-deprecating. The other thing that scared the heck out of me was, I didn’t want to come in and have all my past brought to the surface, stuff that I was unaware of. It was stepping back and trusting you guys when you said, “this isn’t going to uncover things from your childhood that are hidden to you right now…” This event is not about that.
Q: What are some specific things that were holding you back in life? Period.
Mike: I did not realize it until Next-Level Life, but I very much had a victim mentality. I allowed it to drive so many decisions, along with fear, and it paralyzed me. I was my own worst enemy.
Cathy: Being a mom and wife, I realized that I was putting off my own self care so that I could take care of my family. I wasn’t taking care of myself.
…and how did that work out for you?
Let’s say that things are much better now. *laughter* I came through Next-Level Life realizing I have to actively love me, as much as I am pouring into loving others.
Exactly, You must put God first. Put your health second, not your happiness, your health, and then focus on your spouse and others.
Cathy: I can do what God created me to do which is to bless others, without making myself lesser to that service.
Q: How were your Next-Level Life events…?
Mike: I came away with the record of most sheets of paper… *laughter* I have never had anything lay out my life in such clarity. I had issues with family…they trained me a certain way, and I trained my children that way. I vilified people because I was hurt so much, and when I went through Next-Level Life I literally came out with a different perspective, rather than putting someone as the “bad guy,” I understood and felt empathy. Before, it was all anger and wanting justice. It was THE MOST freeing experience. I came away with peace I had never experienced before. I was scared (that word doesn’t do it justice) to do the event, but I needed something else, more. I didn’t have the answers…The answer to why I was where I was.
As soon as I came back I began implementing, changing.
It impacted me like nothing I’ve done in my life before.
I used to manipulate through fear and anger to get people to do what I wanted them to do, the change in me and the change in Cathy has been so substantial, we have one child coming through in a few months and another child coming through Summer of next year. These are adult children that are making the decision to come on their own because they’ve seen the change. You can’t get your kids to do stuff like that if they’re not genuinely seeing the benefit.
They are seeing their dad become a dad.
When I came back, within 3 days of coming home…My son was playing a video game and there was a bug in the game that made it malfunction. He told me that it was his fault…I asked him why. And he kept blaming himself and said it was just easier to blame himself.
Front and center, there was the thought process I had trained in my kid.
Cathy: My Next-Level Life event was powerful, eye-opening. It was a lot of gaining perspective. It wasn’t just gaining perspective, it was shifting perspective. Everything is right there in front of you, and there are things that you are missing, that you’re just not seeing. That baggage you come into adulthood with, the perspective on that can be shifted because you have someone guiding you and walking you through seeing things from a new set of eyes. There was no taking sides. It’s done kindly, lovingly, and strongly. I didn’t feel strong-armed into seeing or feeling a particular way. I was challenged on “is that reality? Or are you just carrying a perspective you came in with?”
Life doesn’t stop happening after the event. You don’t come through Next-level Life and then it’s all roses and there’s nothing to deal with in life. For you guys, you went through some really tough stuff AFTER your events. How did you guys deal with that after your Next Level Life events?
Mike: We left my Next Level Life and within a month we got sidelined by some stuff…If I had not been equipped through Next-Level Life and wanting to set a different path, I really think our family would be broken. I am so grateful for the fact that in Next-Level Life you (the facilitators) are strong, and it’s not like you’re getting your worth from the process, so you can ask those hard questions that friends shy away from. I still remember sitting in the van with Cathy and having a conference call with Joel (a facilitator) after my event, wanting him to side with me, and he said, “Mike…if you do that, you’re going to ruin things.” I was mad I didn’t get the answer I wanted to allow me to be angry. I look back now, and I am so grateful that he took a stand…he didn’t have to. He was confident enough in who he is to say, “Mike, that’s not a decision I would make. It’s yours to make. Here’s what I see…” I respected him enough to process through it and make the right decision. We had much better results than if we had been functioning status quo.
If I had not gone through Next-Level Life, I would not have the tools to get back up and say, “this is not who I have to be or the situation I’m relegated to, I can choose a different path.”
I’ve trained my family in disfunction. I can train them in choosing a different route. It’s not necessarily functional, I’m still learning, but it’s not totally dysfunctional.*laughter*
We’re seeing sides of our kids that are like, “where have you been?” I was so angry before, I hadn’t allowed my kids to be who they were, they were intimidated.
Q: How has it impacted your marriage, and your kids?
Mike: I thought that our marriage was good before. It is great to see my wife feeling alive. You want to see your family successful, and Next-Level Life equips you to free your wife, kids. Cathy and I can have a conversation now, and I value where she’s coming from more, even if I don’t agree, and now she is stronger and voices her opinion, which I’m so glad she does.
Cathy: We’ve hit a different level of partnership, support and friendship in our marriage. There’s just this freedom to be completely who we are since Next-Level Life, without the fear of the other person not understanding. Now I feel completely comfortable and secure asking, “am I missing something? Do I have the wrong perspective?” The event it has not only affected our marriage but how we parent together.
Mike: When we came to Next Level Life, the whole team is working to make us feel more at home. You can make yourself feel right at home.
We can both be hesitant and insecure. I realized after the event that people aren’t as focused on us as we think they are. They don’t have to like or approve of us…If they make that decision, that’s their choice. I can’t control what my kids or neighbors think of me. I can control my actions, but that’s as far as it goes.
Whether it’s Next Level Life, Mastermind or Retreat, it’s coming home to family…because you guys don’t hold punches. But not in a competitive or demeaning way, it’s in a genuine manner. It’s so refreshing. It’s so valuable.
Q: How has it impacted the kids?
Mike: We’re talking about 19 year olds that have seen mom and dad pre-Next-Level Life, are now seeing you guys after Next-Level Life, and going, “I want that.” That speaks volumes to what you guys have done, what you have implemented. My daughter was working her heart out to try and do things to help me be more healthy, our family to be more healthy, and I was just shooing it away. I was so hurt (Mike’s Root System) that I couldn’t see what she was doing to appreciate it.
Your previous parenting style, had a decently negative impact on her. It’s not just she now has a dad who listens, but one who apologized, explained and helped her to see what he had done wrong, and is supportive of her now.
Q: On top of this, it has been quite a weight loss process for you.
Mike: Because of where I was emotionally, I just continued in a spiral putting on weight. I am the lowest weight I have been in 3 years…not my mindset has changed, and I can utilize advice.
Not only did you guys have phenomenal event, but you went home and implemented like crazy. That means the world to me.
Thank you for joining me on the show and giving so much of yourselves for the people that are listening.
Q: If there was one thing you could tell the person that’s out there holding back on coming to the event…
Can I tell them two?
- It is so much better than you can imagine. It’s worth it. You’re worth it. Do it.
- I was given advice to follow through with the homework, and as we alluded to, Next-Level Life is like a Next-level, you still grow and continue on from there.
To be encouraged that there will be growth. It will not always be fun, but just the release of realizing who you are, and the personality that you want to have IS THERE. It’s already there, and it’s okay to release it, utilize it, it’s okay to be happy and grow into who you feel like you should’ve been this whole time. It’s scary to remove those masks…there is nothing better you will ever do than to be in the safety of this team and remove those masks.
It’s okay to be happy, and get rid of the junk that holds you back. Recognize where it’s coming from then plug in the tools to work on it, and fix it. When you have the tools, you can deal with and solve the problem, you have the tools to make life better.
The thing is, your life does not get better by waiting around, by someone coming and taking care of it for you. The government is not going to do it, your family is not going to do it. Your life is not going to get better by chance, it’s going to get better by change. To have change, you have to make a choice.