No, You Can’t Have That!
I……am a control freak, when it comes to doing the finances at home. But I have a really good excuse for it! ;-) It comes from a bad situation I was in where I lost everything I had due to trusting someone else with my money. I was young and ignorant…and trusting, and it cost me years of heartache. And because of that, I have had this….thing, where I have to be in control of the finances, knowing where every penny is at all times. That’s not bad is it?
The problem came in when I got married. Now we had two people who did the finances, but one wouldn’t give it up. (If you’re still with me, you know which of us that was.) This became a point of contention because she liked doing the finances. But we were able to come to an agreement. I would do the finances as long as we had two things: a budget committee meeting, and I would bring to that meeting a print out summary of the finances/investments/bank statements, that way she could see exactly where everything was, and have a really good feel for where we were going.
Now, the later of the two is pretty self-explanatory. But if you don’t know what a budget committee meeting is, it’s when the one spouse prepares the budget before the next month begins and presents it to the other spouse. This gives the other spouse the opportunity to inspect it to see if it lines up with what was previously discussed, as well as give input on things left out. I.e., their mother’s birthday is that month and they’ll need to buy a present. There will be a field trip for the kids at school that will cost money. This may mean that some things need to be adjusted if the suggestions add more mullah than is available. If you’re budget is already tight, you might have to not go out to dinner to pay for your mother-in-law’s Snuggie.
Most importantly, you have to come together at the end of each month and plan what’s going to happen next month. It’s called being grownups. And, if one of you is a control freak in the area of finances, this give your spouse the comfort of knowing that everything is in place and is all right.