Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image

Boundaries

Chris LoCurto

By

June 16, 2014

8 Negative People You Should Avoid!

In LifePlan I share with people that we are the sum of our influencers and our past. Good or bad, how we’ve been influenced and how our past has impacted us, shapes our decisions to be who we are today.

Fire your friends and family, ChrisLoCurto.com

Who are we influenced by? Our Family, friends, teachers, leaders, and co-workers.

For most people, their family makes up the majority of those two areas. We would all love for our family to have an incredible, positive, and loving impact on us. Unfortunately for a lot of folks, their family has had a lasting negative impact.

Keep in mind I said for a lot of folks. Not everyone’s family has had that effect. In fact, I just had a gentleman go through LifePlan who had the greatest loving parents I’ve seen. So yes, there are wonderful loving families out there.

_.png

 If you haven’t received your free copy of my new guide, Avoiding Conflict, then be sure to click here now to get it! It shows you how each of the different personality styles contribute to conflict.

I share with every LifePlan attendee who has had the negative impacts, we don’t make any monsters or any victims, we focus on discovering WHY. Understanding why you are where you are, and why you make the decisions you do, is the most powerful part of becoming your strongest self ever.

Until you go through LifePlan and discover for yourself how to best deal with any situation, you need set up healthy boundaries between you and those who are constantly bringing you down.

Do you have any of these people in your life:

  • The naysayer – This is the person who constantly says what ever you propose to do will not work. They have every reason and excuse in the book why you will fail at pretty much everything you try.
  • The know-it-all – No matter how much you know from experience, learning, or God-given wisdom, the know-it-all always makes you feel like you’re an idiot, and none of your thoughts or ideas have merit.
  • The drama queen – I do believe the old saying that misery loves company. Some will go out of their way to stir up as much drama as possible and suck others in. They tend to focus on folks whose heart cares for others, and tends to be too big to consciously protect themselves.
  • The taker – This person is always interested in what you can do for them. They are quite often a victim, and always turning the focus back on to them and what they are dealing with. If you are struggling with something, they will tend to tell you that it’s not that big of a deal, and you she see what they are having to deal with.
  • The impossible to please – Some people refuse to give a kind word to anything you do. If you have something that you are proud of, they will find 700 reasons why it’s not good enough. In turn, you hear every time that it is YOU who are not good enough.
  • The Manipulator – “I really need you to help me with…” is a common sentence used by the manipulator. They do a great job discovering who around them they can get to do things for them. If you push back, they will push harder to make you feel guilty.
  • The Judge – It is vitally important to The Judge to look good. So much so, they will do what they can to make you look less-than or insignificant. No matter what you’ve done, they’ve done it better.
  • The Self Critic – This is probably the worst negative person of all! This is the person inside of you who believes the lies that you are told, and has a tendency to tell quite a few lies to you as well. This negative person must be avoided at all costs!

The truth is we see these people in what we call friends, co-workers, leaders, etc.

Understand this – ALL people need a LifePlan! Everyone on the list above most likely doesn’t understand why they do what they do. Even if they have an idea, they don’t know how to deal with it. If you didn’t listen to Understanding Your Root System on the podcast, it will help to explain more.

Subscribe to the podcast: iTunes  Stitcher Radio  SoundCloud

I’m not asking you to kick people out of your life, (although some people you might need to) I’m asking you to set healthy Boundaries and remove the authority the negative people have in your life.

Question: What advice do you have to keep negative people away?

Chris LoCurto

By

April 22, 2014

Understanding Your Root System [Podcast]

April 22, 2014 | By | 20 Comments">20 Comments

On the last Chris LoCurto Show episode, What You Have In Common With Wine, one of the things I discussed was the root system of grapes and how a strong root system makes a great wine.

Subscribe to the podcast: iTunes  Stitcher Radio  SoundCloud

Your life equals your root system.

Your life and your decision-making process comes from your root system. In Next-Level Life, I spend time tying what’s happened in a person’s life to their root system – family, influences, leadership, friends, etc. Whatever has happened in your past shapes the decisions you make today.

You are the sum of your past & your influences.

The way your parents treated you links back to the way their parents treated them and cycles into how you treat your children or family or team. If abuse, either emotional or physical is in your past, a pattern forms. Chances are, if you were abused, you’ll pendulum swing to your children and won’t discipline or will allow your children to control you. This only perpetuates a cycle. Healthy boundaries and healthy control are the key. Finding that center is one of the most important things we can discover.

Even the best parents (with the best intentions) might do something that came from their parents that causes a bad belief system. They might say one specific thing over and over to their child, expecting and hoping that it helps their kid to grow up well or understand, but they way they said it creates a bad belief system in the child. How crazy is that?

When we carry over the bad processes or belief systems, we perpetuate the same exact root system.

Will you ever be perfect? No. The perspective of understanding why you do what you do is vital to going forward. Some of you have to put serious boundaries in your life. Boundaries is a great book (one that I talk about all the time) that goes very in-depth on this issue.

All of these things make up who you are and how you make your decisions. When you understand where they come from, then you can make better decisions.

Question: How does your root system affect your business?

Chris LoCurto

By

January 7, 2014

It’s Okay to be Selfish [Podcast]

January 7, 2014 | By | 23 Comments">23 Comments

Subscribe to the podcast:          iTunes  Stitcher Radio  SoundCloud

During LifePlan, the topic of being selfish comes up all the time and it’s always an assumed no-no. Healthy selfishness is a vital piece of living a healthy life with boundaries. If you don’t have healthy boundaries in your life, a boundary that says “stop here” or “this is my limit,” you’ll get walked all over.

If you haven’t read Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend, buy a copy today!

When you begin to start setting healthy boundaries at home and at work, it changes your life. Be selfish and get rid of junk so you can be the best version of yourself. Take time to unpack your past and get healthy. If you don’t get rid of the baggage in your life, you’ll continue to carry it around and pick up more along the way.

Take time to get healthy. Take time to get coached on how to do that. If you’re interested in LifePlan, check out the Work With Me page above for additional information.

Dillanos Coffee

We tasted the Sumatra blend from Dillanos Coffee Roasters today. On the next episode, we’ll be tasting the Rwanda blend. Get 15% off your coffee order by using the code “CLoTribe”

Question: What’s the most selfish thing you’ve done that’s helped you to be better?

 

Chris LoCurto

By

December 3, 2013

Hurt People Hurt People [Podcast]

December 3, 2013 | By | 14 Comments">14 Comments

I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving! For some of you, it’s a fantastic time of year. For others (and quite possibly people on your team), this whole holiday season is difficult.

There are people around you that may be hurting right now and lashing out. In fact, you may be one of those hurt people hurting other people. You can only take responsibility for yourself but take the responsibility. Be aware of those around you and understand that especially during this time of year, emotions are high.

“When you can’t fix yourself, you’re frustrated with the broken people in your life.” (tweet this)

Subscribe to the podcast:          iTunes  Stitcher Radio  SoundCloud

If you want to dig deeper into the information I shared today, check out my 2-day coaching event on gaining perspective from your past and creating a LifePlan for your future. I also highly recommend Dr. Henry Cloud’s exceptional book:

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

Be sure to download the single, “Naughty List,” featured at the end of today’s podcast! Our very own Melissa co-wrote the song and is in a fantastic big band jazz trio called The North Pole Patrol. It’ll definitely get you in the Christmas spirit!

Question: What steps are you going to take to fix YOU?