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Conflict

Chris LoCurto

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December 6, 2016

How Your Personal Life Holds You Back at Work, And What To Do About It

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We have two phenomenal questions from our podcast listeners today.

Suzanne asks, “I just left a non-profit, and wasn’t able to handle the emotions that went into it. I felt myself getting too much compassion fatigue. Do you have suggestions on how to have a healthy emotional separation at work?

Here’s what you’ll discover:

  • Responsibility in caring for others, philanthropic work or counseling
  • Understanding rejection
  • What happens when you don’t effect change in someone’s life
  • Your single greatest value as a human
  • What getting worth from people looks like
  • The core of getting “you” healthy
  • Difference between helping for your worth…and truly helping
  • Where to get your self worth

Keeley asks about personality styles, and solving communication issues as a leader.

We dive into:

  • How to tax the collective intelligence of the team
  • What to do when team members don’t add valuable input, or voice their opinion
  • How to communicate with different personality styles on your team
  • The right questions to ask to lead your team to higher engagement
  • How to lead your team to success in the moment
  • Exactly what to say in meetings

 

Resources:

If you want to be on the show and have your question answered by me, it’s easy to do now. Get on the schedule here.

Next-Level Leadership Live Event is going to be a jam packed 3 days looking at making you, your team and your business successful in every area with new perspective.

Now there are folks already on the waiting list for this event…who will be notified before everyone else when tickets are available. Right now, if you want to get on that list go to chrislocurto.com/events!!

Chris LoCurto

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November 29, 2016

How to Stop Surviving and Start Living

November 29, 2016 | By | No Comments">No Comments

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Christmas bells are starting to ring…

Today I dive into how to deal with holiday setbacks, rant on election responses a little, and tell you how to thrive during this potentially stressfull-frenzied-in-law-overwhelmed-people-drama-filled-glorious Christmas season.

Here’s what you’ll discover on this episode:

  • Signs you’re in survival mode
  • How to start thriving
  • How to make better decisions to combat burnout
  • What the scriptures say about survival mode
  • Escape work overwhelm
  • The difference between perspective and quality perspective
  • How to deal with survival mode in the workplace
  • Get rid of negativity
You can’t grow in toxic soil, in toxic influence. Do whatever it takes to get good soil around you so you can thrive!!

Resources:

If you want to be on the show and have your question answered by me, it’s easy to do now. Get on the schedule here.

Next-Level Leadership Live Event is going to be a jam packed 3 days looking at making you, your team and your business successful in every area with new perspective.

Now there are folks already on the waiting list for this event…who will be notified before everyone else when tickets are available. Right now, if you want to get on that list go to chrislocurto.com/events!!

Next-Level Life Event

Chris LoCurto

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November 22, 2016

Your Guide to an Incredible (Conflict-Free) Thanksgiving

November 22, 2016 | By | No Comments">No Comments

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The holiday season is coming…

What happens during the holiday season? For some of you, a lot of junk. Today we’re talking about how to move past that and be thankful! It’s thanks-giving folks.

Before you carve the turkey this Thanksgiving you must download the Avoiding Conflict Guide.
I know, I know, your family probably never has any drama.
For the rest of us – HERE YA GO: Download Here (it’s FREE)

Here’s what you’ll discover on this episode:

  • How to get thankful when times are tough
  • What God asks of us in the holiday season
  • How to choose happiness!

So pull out your phone (if you’re at a stop light), go to a white board and write down everything you’re thankful for!

If you’re unhappy…hit rewind and listen to this episode again! You have to choose happiness.

Resources:

If you want to be on the show and have your question answered by me, it’s easy to do now. Get on the schedule here.

Next-Level Leadership Live Event is going to be a jam packed 3 days looking at making you, your team and your business successful in every area with new perspective.

Now there are folks already on the waiting list for this event…who will be notified before everyone else when tickets are available. Right now, if you want to get on that list go to chrislocurto.com/events!!

 

Question: Who are you most thankful for?

     

Chris LoCurto

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September 28, 2016

How This Couple Discovered Their Strongest Life, 17 Years Later

September 28, 2016 | By | No Comments">No Comments

5

If you’re not getting the things you need, don’t wait…change. How? By choosing to change. You have to make the choice.

Today we are talking with some fantastic people. Mike and Cathy have been through Next-Level Life individually, and had phenomenal experiences. We like to share this, because we get people asking all the time, wanting to know what it’s like, wanting to hear about the process and results from the inside. We love hearing from people who have experienced this event.

They can say it better than I can, because they’re telling their story. It’s a powerful story… Here’s our conversation:

Q: What was life like before your Next-Level Life Events?

Cathy: Life was full of misunderstanding. I did not know how to get perspective on what was happening, how I was reacting, and what the reality of the situation was. There was a lot of confusion. I thought what we did was normal, I told myself,  “It just, is, that’s how it is and how I deal with it.” I didn’t realize I was confused. I was used to seeing the same results…

Mike: It was a lot of anger, hurt, frustration…insecurity. When I tried to grasp for control, and people didn’t understand that I was trying to make things better, I would hurt people in the process. I was a control freak causing damage to my family, that’s not what I wanted to do. It was an insane spiral of me feeling insecure, and grabbing for control.

That’s something we walk through in Next-Level Life, that control is an illusion.  

Q: Why did it take you so long to decide to come through the event?

Mike: Self-worth. I didn’t feel like I was the guy who could be successful with the tools from the process. I wanted to be that guy, but couldn’t see myself that way. My internal conversation was 24/7, and very self-deprecating. The other thing that scared the heck out of me was, I didn’t want to come in and have all my past brought to the surface, stuff that I was unaware of. It was stepping back and trusting you guys when you said, “this isn’t going to uncover things from your childhood that are hidden to you right now…” This event is not about that.

Q: What are some specific things that were holding you back in life? Period.

Mike: I did not realize it until Next-Level Life, but I very much had a victim mentality. I allowed it to drive so many decisions, along with fear, and it paralyzed me. I was my own worst enemy.

Cathy: Being a mom and wife, I realized that I was putting off my own self care so that I could take care of my family. I wasn’t taking care of myself.

…and how did that work out for you?

Let’s say that things are much better now. *laughter* I came through Next-Level Life realizing I have to actively love me, as much as I am pouring into loving others.

Exactly, You must put God first. Put your health second, not your happiness, your health, and then focus on your spouse and others.

Cathy: I can do what God created me to do which is to bless others, without making myself lesser to that service.

Q: How were your Next-Level Life events…?

Mike: I came away with the record of most sheets of paper… *laughter* I have never had anything lay out my life in such clarity. I had issues with family…they trained me a certain way, and I trained my children that way. I vilified people because I was hurt so much, and when I went through Next-Level Life I literally came out with a different perspective, rather than putting someone as the “bad guy,” I understood and felt empathy. Before, it was all anger and wanting justice. It was THE MOST freeing experience. I came away with peace I had never experienced before. I was scared (that word doesn’t do it justice) to do the event, but I needed something else, more. I didn’t have the answers…The answer to why I was where I was.

As soon as I came back I began implementing, changing.

It impacted me like nothing I’ve done in my life before.

I used to manipulate through fear and anger to get people to do what I wanted them to do, the change in me and the change in Cathy has been so substantial, we have one child coming through in a few months and another child coming through Summer of next year. These are adult children that are making the decision to come on their own because they’ve seen the change. You can’t get your kids to do stuff like that if they’re not genuinely seeing the benefit.

They are seeing their dad become a dad.

When I came back, within 3 days of coming home…My son was playing a video game and there was a bug in the game that made it malfunction. He told me that it was his fault…I asked him why. And he kept blaming himself and said it was just easier to blame himself.

Front and center, there was the thought process I had trained in my kid.

Cathy: My Next-Level Life event was powerful, eye-opening. It was a lot of gaining perspective. It wasn’t just gaining perspective, it was shifting perspective. Everything is right there in front of you, and there are things that you are missing, that you’re just not seeing. That baggage you come into adulthood with, the perspective on that can be shifted because you have someone guiding you and walking you through seeing things from a new set of eyes. There was no taking sides. It’s done kindly, lovingly, and strongly. I didn’t feel strong-armed into seeing or feeling a particular way. I was challenged on “is that reality? Or are you just carrying a perspective you came in with?”

Life doesn’t stop happening after the event. You don’t come through Next-level Life and then it’s all roses and there’s nothing to deal with in life. For you guys, you went through some really tough stuff AFTER your events. How did you guys deal with that after your Next Level Life events?

Mike: We left my Next Level Life and within a month we got sidelined by some stuff…If I had not been equipped through Next-Level Life and wanting to set a different path, I really think our family would be broken. I am so grateful for the fact that in Next-Level Life you (the facilitators) are strong, and it’s not like you’re getting your worth from the process, so you can ask those hard questions that friends shy away from. I still remember sitting in the van with Cathy and having a conference call with Joel (a facilitator) after my event, wanting him to side with me, and he said, “Mike…if you do that, you’re going to ruin things.” I was mad I didn’t get the answer I wanted to allow me to be angry. I look back now, and I am so grateful that he took a stand…he didn’t have to. He was confident enough in who he is to say, “Mike, that’s not a decision I would make. It’s yours to make. Here’s what I see…” I respected him enough to process through it and make the right decision. We had much better results than if we had been functioning status quo.

If I had not gone through Next-Level Life, I would not have the tools to get back up and say, “this is not who I have to be or the situation I’m relegated to, I can choose a different path.”

I’ve trained my family in disfunction. I can train them in choosing a different route. It’s not necessarily functional, I’m still learning, but it’s not totally dysfunctional.*laughter*

We’re seeing sides of our kids that are like, “where have you been?” I was so angry before, I hadn’t allowed my kids to be who they were, they were intimidated.

Q: How has it impacted your marriage, and your kids?

Mike: I thought that our marriage was good before. It is great to see my wife feeling alive. You want to see your family successful, and Next-Level Life equips you to free your wife, kids. Cathy and I can have a conversation now, and I value where she’s coming from more, even if I don’t agree, and now she is stronger and voices her opinion, which I’m so glad she does.

Cathy: We’ve hit a different level of partnership, support and friendship in our marriage. There’s just this freedom to be completely who we are since Next-Level Life, without the fear of the other person not understanding. Now I feel completely comfortable and secure asking, “am I missing something? Do I have the wrong perspective?” The event it has not only affected our marriage but how we parent together.

Mike: When we came to Next Level Life, the whole team is working to make us feel more at home. You can make yourself feel right at home.

We can both be hesitant and insecure. I realized after the event that people aren’t as focused on us as we think they are. They don’t have to like or approve of us…If they make that decision, that’s their choice. I can’t control what my kids or neighbors think of me. I can control my actions, but that’s as far as it goes.

Whether it’s Next Level Life, Mastermind or Retreat, it’s coming home to family…because you guys don’t hold punches. But not in a competitive or demeaning way, it’s in a genuine manner. It’s so refreshing. It’s so valuable.

Q: How has it impacted the kids?

Mike: We’re talking about 19 year olds that have seen mom and dad pre-Next-Level Life, are now seeing you guys after Next-Level Life, and going, “I want that.” That speaks volumes to what you guys have done, what you have implemented. My daughter was working her heart out to try and do things to help me be more healthy, our family to be more healthy, and I was just shooing it away. I was so hurt (Mike’s Root System) that I couldn’t see what she was doing to appreciate it.

Your previous parenting style, had a decently negative impact on her. It’s not just she now has a dad who listens, but one who apologized, explained and helped her to see what he had done wrong, and is supportive of her now.

Q: On top of this, it has been quite a weight loss process for you.

Mike: Because of where I was emotionally, I just continued in a spiral putting on weight. I am the lowest weight I have been in 3 years…not my mindset has changed, and I can utilize advice.

Not only did you guys have phenomenal event, but you went home and implemented like crazy. That means the world to me. 

Thank you for joining me on the show and giving so much of yourselves for the people that are listening.

Q: If there was one thing you could tell the person that’s out there holding back on coming to the event

Mike:

Can I tell them two?

  1. It is so much better than you can imagine. It’s worth it. You’re worth it. Do it.
  2. I was given advice to follow through with the homework, and as we alluded to, Next-Level Life is like a Next-level, you still grow and continue on from there.

Cathy:

To be encouraged that there will be growth. It will not always be fun, but just the release of realizing who you are, and the personality that you want to have IS THERE. It’s already there, and it’s okay to release it, utilize it, it’s okay to be happy and grow into who you feel like you should’ve been this whole time. It’s scary to remove those masks…there is nothing better you will ever do than to be in the safety of this team and remove those masks.

It’s okay to be happy, and get rid of the junk that holds you back. Recognize where it’s coming from then plug in the tools to work on it, and fix it. When you have the tools, you can deal with and solve the problem, you have the tools to make life better.

The thing is, your life does not get better by waiting around, by someone coming and taking care of it for you. The government is not going to do it, your family is not going to do it. Your life is not going to get better by chance, it’s going to get better by change. To have change, you have to make a choice. 

Learn more about Next-Level Life here.

Chris LoCurto

By

September 27, 2016

How This Couple Discovered Their Strongest Life

September 27, 2016 | By | No Comments">No Comments


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If you’re not getting the things you need, don’t wait…change. How? By choosing to change. You have to make the choice.

Today we are talking with some fantastic people. Mike and Cathy have been through Next-Level Life individually, and had phenomenal experiences. We like to share these stories, because we get people asking about Next-Level Life events all the time, wanting to know what it’s like, and wanting to hear about the process and results from the inside. This is Mike and Cathy’s story.

Here’s our conversation:

Q: What was life like before your Next-Level Life Events?

Cathy: Life was full of misunderstanding. I did not know how to get perspective on what was happening, how I was reacting, and what the reality of the situation was. There was a lot of confusion. I thought what we did was normal, I told myself,  “It just, is, that’s how it is and how I deal with it.” I didn’t realize I was confused. I was used to seeing the same results…

Mike: It was a lot of anger, hurt, frustration…insecurity. When I tried to grasp for control, and people didn’t understand that I was trying to make things better, I would hurt people in the process. I was a control freak causing damage to my family, that’s not what I wanted to do. It was an insane spiral of me feeling insecure, and grabbing for control.

chris-quotes-for-social-7

Q: Why did it take you so long to decide to come through the event?

Mike: Self-worth. I didn’t feel like I was the guy who could be successful with the tools from the process. I wanted to be that guy, but couldn’t see myself that way. My internal conversation was 24/7, and very self-deprecating. The other thing that scared the heck out of me was, I didn’t want to come in and have all my past brought to the surface, stuff that I was unaware of. It was stepping back and trusting you guys when you said, “this isn’t going to uncover things from your childhood that are hidden to you right now…” This event is not about that.

Q: What are some specific things that were holding you back in life? Period.

Mike: I did not realize it until Next-Level Life, but I very much had a victim mentality. I allowed it to drive so many decisions, along with fear, and it paralyzed me. I was my own worst enemy.

Cathy: Being a mom and wife, I realized that I was putting off my own self care so that I could take care of my family. I wasn’t taking care of myself.

…and how did that work out for you?

Let’s say that things are much better now. *laughter* I came through Next-Level Life realizing I have to actively love me, as much as I am pouring into loving others. I can do what God created me to do, without making myself lesser to that service.

Q: How were your Next-Level Life events…?

Mike: I came away with the record of most sheets of paper… *laughter* I have never had anything lay out my life in such clarity. I had issues with family…they trained me a certain way, and I trained my children that way. I vilified people because I was hurt so much, and when I went through Next-Level Life I literally came out with a different perspective, rather than putting someone as the “bad guy,” I understood and felt empathy.

It was THE MOST freeing experience.

I came away with peace I had never experienced before. I was scared (that word doesn’t do it justice) to do the event, but I needed something else, more. I didn’t have the answers…The answer to why I was where I was.

As soon as I came back I began implementing, changing.

It impacted me like nothing I’ve done in my life before.

The change in me and the change in Cathy has been so substantial, we have one child coming through in a few months and another child coming through Summer of next year. These are adult children that are making the decision to come on their own because they’ve seen the change. You can’t get your kids to do stuff like that if they’re not genuinely seeing the benefit.

They are seeing their dad become a dad.

Cathy: My Next-Level Life event was powerful, eye-opening. It wasn’t just gaining perspective, it was shifting perspective. Everything is right there in front of you, and there are things that you are missing, that you’re just not seeing. That baggage you come into adulthood with, the perspective on that can be shifted because you have someone guiding you and walking you through seeing things from a new set of eyes. There was no taking sides. It’s done kindly, lovingly, and strongly. I didn’t feel strong-armed into seeing or feeling a particular way. I was challenged on “is that reality? Or are you just carrying a perspective you came in with?”

Life doesn’t stop happening after the event. For you guys, you went through some really tough stuff AFTER your events. How did you guys deal with that after your Next Level Life events?…

To hear the full interview, listen here:

The thing is, your life does not get better by waiting around, by someone coming and taking care of it for you. The government is not going to do it, your family is not going to do it. Your life is not going to get better by chance, it’s going to get better by change. To have change, you have to make a choice. Learn more about Next-Level Life

Discover the life you were meant to live.

 

 

Chris LoCurto

By

August 31, 2016

The Three Most Powerful Lessons a Leader Can Learn

August 31, 2016 | By | No Comments">No Comments


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“Today we’re talking about transformation, and Joel and I have a HUGE announcement…”

We are launching the Elevate Your Leadership Online Event!! Guys we are so crazy excited about this. This event is centered around solving the very struggles and core issues that impact every single leader and entrepreneur. These are the most powerful lessons for entrepreneurs and leaders, lessons I have been helping people with for a long time.

It’s the content I’m always pushing our leaders and entrepreneurs in our Next-Level Mastermind and coaching program to solve…because these are the three biggest pieces holding you back right now as a leader.

We’re PUMPED. The easiest way to find out more info is to click the banner on our homepage!

In today’s podcast, Joel (our extremely handsome client head coach) and I dive into the DNA of businesses, including ours. Two of our phenomenal Next-Level Mastermind clients join us and we get to the core of solving problems in business, and what the transformation in a business looks like after implementing the three core lessons: Killing the Leadership Crazy Cycle, Tackling Tough Conversations, and Creating a Culture of Champions.

People come into our events thinking…

“I’m the only one going through this, every other leader has it put together…no one else is experiencing what I’m experiencing.”

THEN they step in to a event and realize everyone is struggling to grow and transform their businesses…dealing with the same. exact. things.

Let’s hear from two of our AMAZING clients. Magnus Simonarson and Quinn Denning are incredible leaders and the Presidents of their companies, busting it every day for their businesses and families. Magnus is the President of Consultwebs and a leader that came into his role, asking,

“What do I do? What do I focus on from 8- 5 as a leader?”

We see so many leader struggle because they don’t know what winning looks like in their role. NO, not everything falls to you as a leader in a business. It’s so much more than just deciding your day looks like…

Most leaders are overwhelmed, overloaded and stuck in the Leadership Crazy Cycle. They have endless tasks and problems to solve, they don’t know what’s the smartest thing to do, and they live stuck in this place. Almost EVERY leader in this situation passes everything on to their team leads and pushes the Leadership Crazy Cycle to their employees….are you in this crazy cycle?

If you’re relating to even one of these points, you’re in the Leadership Crazy Cycle:

  • You have so much to do and feel so overwhelmed, you don’t have time to even manage your time…
  • You don’t have time to delegate…
  • You don’t have time to hire anyone to delegate to…
  • You don’t have time to lead…
  • You don’t have time to teach…
  • You don’t have time for hardly anything other than your to-do list and putting out fires…

Here’s a taste of Magnus has to say on what held him back the most in his business, jump to 8:20. To hear more on the Leadership Crazy Cycle jump to 10:50 here on the player:

 

We dive into behind the scenes culture at  22:25, listen here:

Next, we jump into an interview with Quinn Denning, President of Rapidtek.
“If I would have implemented the lessons on Tackling Tough Conversations, I could have cut out this toxicity in my business 6 months earlier…”
This is so important. When you don’t have tough conversations and protect your culture:
  • Toxicity bleeds to the rest of the team and poisons them
  • Productivity tanks
  • Profits start to go down
  • The leader who doesn’t know how to handle this conversation and toxic situation is held back
  • Culture takes 10 steps backward

Killing the Leadership Crazy Cycle, Tackling Tough Conversations, and Creating a Culture of Champions are the lessons at the core of the transformation Magnus and Quinn scraped the surface of…

These three key lessons are pillars in your business and they impact EVERY…SINGLE…LEADER and entrepreneur. For well over a decade I have helped and coached thousands of leaders and entrepreneurs to grow their teams and businesses to success. These three core lessons are centered around solving the very struggles and issues that impact every single leader and entrepreneur. Learn more about these lessons here.

When we ask our clients how long they’ve been implementing something like Tackling Tough Conversations, or Creating a Culture of Champions, and they can’t remember. For some it’s only been a year since they implemented but it’s become second nature, DNA inside of their business.

It’s matter of getting the information, and start practicing and implementing.

Here’s what you need to know about learning these core lessons and improving the DNA of your business and attending Elevate Your Leadership Online Event:

  • These three core lessons are centered around solving the very struggles and issues that impact EVERY… SINGLE…LEADER and entrepreneur
  • If you take the information and run with it, you will transform your team and business
  • The Early bird special price is $297 for three transformative lessons for you, and everyone you can get around your computer
  • Early bird only lasts for a couple weeks
  • This content highlights and gets to the core of the three biggest pieces holding you back right now as a leader
  • Because of these lessons, Chris’ clients have transformed their businesses, become less stressed and more productive, while their TEAMS have become less stressed, more productive, and considerably more profitable
  • This is not a webinar, this is an online event. Chris will be teaching, speaking, and answering questions

Learn more and get your ticket here!

 

 

Thanks for listening folks!

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Let us know…

Reviews are insanely helpful. I read each and every one of them! Please leave an honest review for Chris LoCurto Show Podcast.

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Chris LoCurto

By

June 21, 2016

The Reason You’re Spinning your Wheels (And How to Get Traction) 

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“I’m just stuck. I’m going a hundred miles an hour, I don’t ever seem to get rest.”

We have had a fantastic response to our Live Q&A and we’re so glad you are enjoying it. Anyway I can help you…that is my goal. Ask me any question. Getting on the show takes 45 seconds, click here.

Hearing our podcast listener’s words and being able to talk to you all is incredibly powerful. This episode blew me away. Here’s what you’ll discover:

  • What’s really causing your stress
  • What questions to ask to break free from Burnout for good
  • How to handle conflict with family members
  • How to reason with an argumentative boss
  • Debt…why it matters
  • How your Root System affects your business
  • How to have productive conversations with hyper-defensive employees

 

Resources:

Freshbooks

 

Thanks for listening folks!

Share the love

If you enjoyed the podcast, please share it! Check out the social media buttons at the bottom of the post.

Let us know…

Reviews are insanely helpful. I read each and every one of them! Please leave an honest review for Chris LoCurto Show Podcast.

Subscribe

Want more? Don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes!

 

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Question: Do you know someone who’s dealt with burnout? What effect did it have on their business?

Chris LoCurto

By

June 10, 2014

How to Avoid Conflict [Podcast]

June 10, 2014 | By | 3 Comments">3 Comments

Almost all conflict is a direct result of poor communication. I’m constantly teaching the importance of understanding personality styles in preventing poor communication, which in turn reduces conflict and misunderstandings. When you understand your personality style, and the style of the person you’re communicating with, you know how you’re contributing to conflict and how to avoid it.

Subscribe to the podcast: iTunes  Stitcher Radio  SoundCloud

Most conflict is due to people being immature in their personality style(s). Maturity has nothing to do with age. You can be a 70 year-old immature high D, I, S, or C. It has everything to do with how much you understand your strengths and weaknesses.

If you haven’t taken a DISC personality test, DO IT NOW! Afterward check out the free guide I’ve written on avoiding conflict. I go in-depth on 16 different points divided out by personality style. Here are just the points:

People with a High D contribute to conflict by:

  • Intimidating others, especially with competition
  • Hurting feelings
  • Leaving out details when communicating
  • Bucking the system

People with a High I contribute to conflict by:

  • Hogging the limelight and talking too much
  • Not following through with what they say
  • Not taking things seriously
  • Overlooking details and loosing sight of the task

People with a High S contribute to conflict by:

  • Resisting change, even when it’s needed
  • Dragging their feet when making decisions
  • Allowing themselves to be walked over and becoming resentful
  • Being hard to motivate

People with a High C contribute to conflict by:

  • Challenging others by over questioning them
  • Primarily pointing out the negative with a critical eye
  • Assuming or insisting they are right
  • Being nit-picky or obsessive compulsive about details

In the free guide, I go through every single one of those points and help you discover the “why.” This allows you as a team member, leader, parent, child to understand how the people in your life are going to handle situations. Once you know how to handle and address conflict, your communication improves drastically!

Understand how each personality style contributes to conflict

Conflict pdf, how to avoid conflict, conflict guide, personality style guide, free

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Chris LoCurto

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April 28, 2014

5 Ways You’re Deceiving Yourself As A Leader

April 28, 2014 | By | 16 Comments">16 Comments

Coaching leaders and entrepreneurs to become better at leading, decision making, and growing their businesses is an incredible blessing to me!

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While people ask me to coach them on a wide variety of topics, there are usually two main reasons:

Help them fix ______________

or

Give them experienced advice on questions they struggle to answer.

Quite often, I find many leaders were trained by…well…bad leaders. Therefore, they have bad belief systems in their own leadership.

With bad belief systems usually comes self-deception. The kind of deception that seems to make sense at the time, but when removed and inspected reveals the depth at which it holds one back from self or team progress and growth.

Here are five common ways leaders deceive themselves:

  • It’s not about you – The most common deception I see, especially with entrepreneurs, is the belief that leadership is about them. Nothing could be further from the truth. By it’s very definition, leadership is getting people to follow you. That doesn’t happen when you’re a dictator. Sure, you can force them into doing what you want, but you’ll get half their productivity and absolutely zero loyalty.
  • You’re not the only smart one – Being the one with all the ideas is not only tiring, but it’s also defeating the purpose. A great leader hires people who are smarter than they are. A scared leader doesn’t. You should be taxing the collective intelligence for two reasons – God didn’t give you all the great ideas, and when you foster your teams input, you gain respect, buy-in, loyalty, and ownership.
  • You can’t hide your faults – You have faults, embrace that understanding. So many leaders that I’ve met through the years believe they can hide their faults from their team. The funny/sad thing is they already know your faults. They see them because they spend more time working with you than anything else they do. Thinking you can hide your faults everyone is not only ridiculous, but it’s unnecessary. Lose any pride or ego, be aware of your weaknesses, and don’t hide them. Instead, hire people who are strong where you are weak.
  • Conflict will work itself out – Whooooamagosh no it won’t! Let’s be honest, no great leader likes drama. But you have these emotional things in your business called people. And most of them don’t truly understand how to communicate with each other, which is why we have little conflicts that turn into really big ones if a leader doesn’t fix them. Get on it! And while you’re at it, have your people take their DISC already! Geez! It’ll change your whole company.
  • I don’t bring my personal life to work – Bah! Probably the biggest self-deception of all. While you think you’re leaving your personal stuff at home, you’re actually bringing most, if not all, of it to work with you. You see, we make decisions based on our past and our influencers. Recently, I did a podcast called Understanding Your Root System where I explain how we bring so much of our parents, teachers, leaders, etc. into our business because we have NO CLUE how much they’ve influenced us. That means the good and the bad. If you’ve heard anything about the LifePlan events that we do, then you’ve heard how powerful understanding this is.

The most important part of being a strong leader is knowing your weaknesses. You can’t do that if you’re not getting the truth, especially if it’s not coming from you.

Question: How have you deceived yourself?