In LifePlan I share with people that we are the sum of our influencers and our past. Good or bad, how we’ve been influenced and how our past has impacted us, shapes our decisions to be who we are today.
Who are we influenced by? Our Family, friends, teachers, leaders, and co-workers.
For most people, their family makes up the majority of those two areas. We would all love for our family to have an incredible, positive, and loving impact on us. Unfortunately for a lot of folks, their family has had a lasting negative impact.
Keep in mind I said for a lot of folks. Not everyone’s family has had that effect. In fact, I just had a gentleman go through LifePlan who had the greatest loving parents I’ve seen. So yes, there are wonderful loving families out there.
I share with every LifePlan attendee who has had the negative impacts, we don’t make any monsters or any victims, we focus on discovering WHY. Understanding why you are where you are, and why you make the decisions you do, is the most powerful part of becoming your strongest self ever.
Until you go through LifePlan and discover for yourself how to best deal with any situation, you need set up healthy boundaries between you and those who are constantly bringing you down.
Do you have any of these people in your life:
- The naysayer – This is the person who constantly says what ever you propose to do will not work. They have every reason and excuse in the book why you will fail at pretty much everything you try.
- The know-it-all – No matter how much you know from experience, learning, or God-given wisdom, the know-it-all always makes you feel like you’re an idiot, and none of your thoughts or ideas have merit.
- The drama queen – I do believe the old saying that misery loves company. Some will go out of their way to stir up as much drama as possible and suck others in. They tend to focus on folks whose heart cares for others, and tends to be too big to consciously protect themselves.
- The taker – This person is always interested in what you can do for them. They are quite often a victim, and always turning the focus back on to them and what they are dealing with. If you are struggling with something, they will tend to tell you that it’s not that big of a deal, and you she see what they are having to deal with.
- The impossible to please – Some people refuse to give a kind word to anything you do. If you have something that you are proud of, they will find 700 reasons why it’s not good enough. In turn, you hear every time that it is YOU who are not good enough.
- The Manipulator – “I really need you to help me with…” is a common sentence used by the manipulator. They do a great job discovering who around them they can get to do things for them. If you push back, they will push harder to make you feel guilty.
- The Judge – It is vitally important to The Judge to look good. So much so, they will do what they can to make you look less-than or insignificant. No matter what you’ve done, they’ve done it better.
- The Self Critic – This is probably the worst negative person of all! This is the person inside of you who believes the lies that you are told, and has a tendency to tell quite a few lies to you as well. This negative person must be avoided at all costs!
The truth is we see these people in what we call friends, co-workers, leaders, etc.
Understand this – ALL people need a LifePlan! Everyone on the list above most likely doesn’t understand why they do what they do. Even if they have an idea, they don’t know how to deal with it. If you didn’t listen to Understanding Your Root System on the podcast, it will help to explain more.
I’m not asking you to kick people out of your life, (although some people you might need to) I’m asking you to set healthy Boundaries and remove the authority the negative people have in your life.