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Next-Level Life

Chris LoCurto

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March 21, 2017

How To Deal With A Passive Aggressive Leader, and Stop People Pleasing

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How To Deal With A Passive Aggressive Leader, and Stop People Pleasing.

On today’s show, we are taking questions from our listeners on how to deal with a passive aggressive leader, and people pleasing.

Passive aggressive behavior is the opposite of gaining perspective, and having healthy, upfront communication.

When you’re dealing with passive aggressive people…

The key is why. Why are they being passive aggressive? There is something going on with that person, something they’re experiencing. Maybe they’re struggling with something involving you!!

Here’s what you can do if you’re on the receiving end, or feeling passive aggressive. Listen here:

  • Why people are passive aggressive [4:25]
  • How to have the conversation [6:00]
  • How to prevent passive aggressive conflict [9:00]
  • What personality styles have to do with conflict [13:00]

On our second listener question, I answer how to stop people pleasing, and what it has to do with your Root System. Our caller asks how to stop people pleasing, and his breakthrough from 10 Signs You’re A People Pleaser.

Here’s what you’ll discover:

  • The steps to take to create healthy relationships [20:45]
  • Signs you’re a people pleaser [20:10]
  • Difference between walls and boundaries [23:20]

Question: How have you dealt with a passive aggressive leader, or learned to stop people pleasing?

Clarity creates unity

Resources:

if you’re ready to go from stress, failure, and lack of confidence in your leadership, to team unity, focus, and successful growth in your business, register for the Next-Level Leadership LIVE Event right now! 

I don’t want you to wait and say, “oh I’ll register later,” because if you wait, you’re going to pay more money. We’re still in the early bird phase, but it’s only going to be for one, more, week. Early Bird ends March 28th at midnight! SO, go ahead, go over to chrislocurto.com, click on the homepage banner, GET registered, and I’ll look forward to seeing you in Nashville at Next-Level Leadership LIVE Event. Get my tickets!

Thanks for listening folks!

If you enjoyed the podcast, please share it! Check out the social media buttons on the pop-up side bar, or at the bottom of the post.

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Chris LoCurto

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March 8, 2017

How Feeling Responsible for Other’s Emotions Sabotages You and How Not To

feeling responsible for others emotions, self sabotage

Do you ever struggle with feeling responsible for how someone else feels about you or some situation  in their life?

If you have, you know the struggle of figuring out how to help them, if you even should help, and fear of guilt or feeling selfish if you don’t help, and the weight of taking on their emotions.

All of these responses come from your Root System.

The way to think about Root System is that you are the sum of what’s happened in your past and the influence you’ve allowed in.

We go super deep into this in 1-on-1 Next-Level Life events to help you understand how and why you respond and make the choices you make.

What I see a ton of with people who struggle with feeling responsible for other’s emotions is they come in struggling with depression, anxiety, guilt, or overwhelm, or all of these.

And time and time again, I discover they grew up with a parent who trained them to feel responsible for the parent’s emotions.

And the parent does that because of what’s in their Root System, most likely from their parents.

The training shows up in comments like “You make me feel like…” and others.

This isn’t truth; it’s control. And it comes from toxic parts of that person’s Root System.

As children, we get nearly all of our self-worth from our parents, which compounds their influence on us.

Until we’re taught about Root System, we (especially as children) don’t stop and think, “Why is my parent influencing me to feel responsible for them? Why are they guilting me? Oh yeah! It’s because they have a Root System! Ah ha! Well, I won’t allow them to impact me this way now.”

next-level life, create a plan for your life

That kind of thinking simply doesn’t exist, so we allow the influence in, and it shapes the way we think and respond to other people in our life years down the road.

This can lead to anxiety and depression that’s paralyzing. The truth is you are not responsible for other’s emotions.

Here are 5 steps to stop feeling responsible for other’s emotions.

1. Stop seeking self-worth from people

Part of feeling responsible for other’s emotions is seeking self-worth from people. If you weren’t getting any self-worth from them, you wouldn’t be negatively impacted by guilt, feeling selfish if you don’t help, or their attempt to control you.

Imagine being in a place emotionally where their attempt to control or guilt you had no effect?

Where your self-worth comes from is key to getting to that place. My vote is always to get your self-worth from God. He’s the only worth-well that’s constantly full.

2. Learn to recognize toxic behavior

When you’re able to see someone’s attempt to control or guilt you, you can work to not allow it impact you.

3. Put a healthy boundary in place

Healthy boundaries are boundaries another person can’t crash over. The goal of a healthy boundary is to protect you from toxicity.

This step is usually the hardest to put in place because you have to, as we say, “go against your Root System”, and overcome your training to fear conflict, feel guilty or selfish, or feel like you’re hurting the other person by putting a healthy boundary in place.

But it’s an essential step.

4. Stop trying to help them

This usually shows up in giving them advice and “fixes”. You may have noticed your well-intentioned advice isn’t taken, and the actions you take to help them are never enough.

And you’re left feeling confused, frustrated, and feeling horrible about yourself.

That’s because the person who struggles with control doesn’t truly want your advice or help, or for you to solve their problem.

Instead, part of your healthy boundary is to listen, ask questions, and not offer advice. If they want to change or solve it, let them own that and do the work.

5. Remember your emotional health matters, too

It’s easy in relationships, especially with people who influence you to feel responsible for their emotions, to prioritize their well-being above your own.

When you factor in everything you’ve read above, I hope you see that’s an endless self-sabotaging cycle, and you will end up worse off.

Question: Have you put any of these steps, or others, to work in your life? How did it work out?

next-level life, create a plan for your life

Chris LoCurto

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March 2, 2017

5 Steps To Overcome Guardedness and Live More Authentically

how to not be guarded, live authentically, authenticity

Are you fully open or vulnerable with your family or friends?

If you’re not, guess what? You’re pretty darn normal, and there are reasons for that.

But have you ever worked on figuring out why you’re not more open, and what holds you back?

Oftentimes, people blame the other person in the relationship.

Perhaps you’ve thought or said something like…

“I’d be more open, if they’d be.”

“If they treated me better, I’d open up.”

“Anytime I try to be open, they respond in a way I don’t like…they try to fix it, tell me to get over it, or I end up hurt.”

If you’re guilty of any of these, brace yourself because here comes the painful part.

Do you see how there’s no personal ownership or responsibility in any of these statements?

When we take a victim stance or blame someone else, we eliminate any chance of changing the situation, and we stay stuck in it.

We put it all on the other person, and because we “can’t change them” or “they just won’t change,” we build up walls and become guarded to protect ourselves.

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And when we guard, other people will, too, and now we have two people cycling against each other, instead of pouring into each other.

This destroys relationships.

Here are 5 steps to overcome guardedness and live more authentically and free. 

1. Pray for God to change you, and the relationship. 

I firmly believe that God changes us from the inside out, and heals relationships, especially when we’re diligent and ask for His help.

Pray for His peace and help, and surrender it to Him.

2. Start with you.

Diligence starts with learning to be more open, and discovering all of the pieces in your Root System that are causing you to guard and protect.

This is something we go super deep into in every Next-Level Life event, and is truly the key to any type of life change that lasts.

For right now though, it’s critical to understand personal responsibility is where to begin.

3.  Gain perspective from the other person to understand more. 

Ask questions to understand why they respond to you like they do, and ask questions to learn how you contribute to their guardedness.

Now here’s the thing. It’s super important to not be defensive or frustrated when they share.

Responses like these also come from your Root System, and until you’re able to overcome them, do your best to manage them.

Caution: If you’re talking to a very toxic person (i.e. controlling, abusive, very negative and judgmental), this step will be very difficult because the other person won’t be healthy enough to have a conversation like this.

If that’s the case, healthy boundaries are a must, as well as pouring into your relationship with God.

4. Be honest about how you feel. 

Right now you may be thinking, “But wait a second, Chris, this takes being vulnerable! I can’t do this step!”

You’re right, it does mean being open and vulnerable, but note that it’s not step 1 or 2.

If steps 2 and 3 go well, you’ll feel more open to share because you’ll have better perspective about why they respond like they do, and how you influence them.

Perspective provides understanding, and understanding is power.

5. Love them. 

When we understand each other better, we respond with more patience, acceptance, and grace, and judgement and frustration get sidelined.

That’s when our more authentic self comes out, and we can be more free to love well.

Love is the key. Love will end two people cycling against each other because when the other person feels loved, over time, they’ll love you better.

And when you both feel loved, unified, and trusting, you have little reason to guard and protect.

Depending on what’s going on today in your relationships, this step may feel like the last thing you want to do, but in relationships, someone must go first to change things.

Someone must lead toward healing, and remain committed to reversing the cycle of guardedness.

With God’s help, you can do this!

Question: Has guardedness held you back from having greater relationships? Comment below!

If you’d like to learn how Next-Level Life could benefit your life, click here. 

 

Chris LoCurto

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February 7, 2017

A Huge Life Change Takes Perspective, Not Magic

February 7, 2017 | By | No Comments">No Comments

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Can people change?

People weigh in on this topic in everyday conversation, and so many conclude people can’t… To grow, to have a stronger life, change must happen. It is absolutely up to you to change yourself if you want a better, stronger life.

It’s not easy. Getting great perspective on life isn’t easy either.

So many friends and family member have well meaning advice…but true perspective is what allows people to change. It is what brings freedom. Our guest today shares how she worked past her habits and feeling like she was never going to get it right. Here’s how to gain phenomenal perspective on challenges in life, and learn what is keeping you from her authentic self. Listen here:

Keep scrolling for the partial interview transcript. 

Was there any nervousness coming in?

I had a huge bundle of nerves coming into my Next-Level Life event. I was absolutely afraid of judgement, afraid of what was going to come out of it, am I going to be told that I’m doing everything wrong? As soon as I walked in the door I could not have felt more welcome, more at ease. immediately all the nerves went away. I experience absolutely no judgement – I felt free to share things I have never shared before with anyone in my life. It was so freeing to put everything out on the table.

I felt completely safe. That is the perfect word for it. I feel like I could share absolutely anything and we could look at the why. I felt like it was better than home.

What have you discovered when looking at other people after your Next-Level Life event?

As I’ve been launched into my Next-Level Life, it’s been entirely different. I’ve had huge life challenges come my way. I could feel my old habits there, they didn’t go away, but I was able to stop and assess the situation and really think about why was I feeling this way. Sometimes all it takes is two seconds to look at what’s going on, and it changes the outcome drastically. I feel like every day I get closer to that authentic version of me.

There is the authentic version of us, and then the one that we put on for others – the one that lives believing lies about us and others.

I was an “I” person going into the event, everything was focused around me. My focus has completely changed. Coming out of the process, I start every day a completely different way. The action plan I have has made a change in how I approach things … I can manage things now, because I’m not focused on me all the time – I’m changing the way I live my life.

What were the biggest revelations?

An hour into my event….we had the salvation conversation. It tied into every other piece of my event: truths, lies, my focus in life…all of it.

When tough times happened before, how did you respond? How do you respond to tough times now?

Before, I had a terrible habit of folding into myself. When tough times happened I thought that the world was against me, my problem solving was useless, I wasted huge amounts of time feeling bad about myself, I felt like I was never going to get it right…

Afterwards it is an absolute 180. When the tough times come, I actually hold onto that joy that I experienced during the event. The challenge in front of me is just that, a challenge. I can overcome, and I will be stronger for it. That has been my experience since my event.

“Life is not hard stuff and you get happy in between, life is joy and celebration, and having a focus. The challenges are just part of the trip.”

Facing things that are negative about yourself are never easy. I’m a high I (DISC Profile) so I’m scared of judgement, it was tough to take a look at the things I’m doing. It was hard to see how selfish I was being. If you had asked me that, I would never have seen it but realizing that, now I can change it.

There’s nothing in life that compares to being able to change.

It’s so easy to look at someone and say, “look, there’s so selfish…” and judge them. That selfishness is just what we call the “surface-level response.” Many many many times it is an act of protection. Being selfish is an act of trying to find worth, feel better about you because of things that have happened in your past. We’re all selfish at times, we all choose to be selfish and have selfish tendencies. It’s important to look at why we behave that way. 

How did you discover where you were getting your worth?

I was 100% getting my worth from other people. I would look to someone else to tell me I was okay, I needed someone else to tell me I was “good” to feel “good.” During the event, I found my worth is in God and I found that God loves me. I don’t need to find worth in anyone else. That shift has made the biggest difference in my life.

What is the most empowering thing you learned?

It was at the very very end, you sate me down and said, “so we’ve laid out this plan, what is going to get in your way?” I thought and thought, and the only thing that is going to keep me from my authentic self and all we discovered…is me. That in itself is empowering, that no one else has control over what happens in my life.

I’m the only thing in my way, I CAN do anything.

We look at suffering as a bad thing. We think that if we suffer, we need to get out of it as soon as possible…How do you see suffering now?

I didn’t like it, I wanted life to be roses and rainbows. I’ve gone through challenging things and now I’m so grateful for them. I anticipate going through more, I want to become that richer, deeper, more experienced person.

Life is short. Why would you want to live it in a way where you know you can be better? Take the next step. I wouldn’t want to hold off one more minute thinking about the way I was living then compared to living now.

Here’s what you can do this week:

Learn more about Next-Level Life, or talk to us and see if it’s going to be an incredible fit for YOU.

Resources:

Thanks for listening folks!

If you enjoyed the podcast, please share it! Check out the social media buttons on the pop-up side bar, or at the bottom of the post.

Let us know…Reviews are insanely helpful. I read each and every one of them! Please leave an honest review for Chris LoCurto Show Podcast.

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Chris LoCurto

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January 3, 2017

The Game-Changing Power of Good To Great

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We were in a “life is good, but life isn’t great place.”

“Like everyone walking around we have stuff we’ve been through. We’ve had counselors over the years and learned and healed from it but not completely….”

Next-Level Life was the thing between us being 75% healed, and getting to a full understanding, clarity, and a rock-solid foundation for our family.

Before Next-Level Life, we were in a “life is good, but life isn’t great place.” We navigated through a lot of wounds but we were in a season of our life and marriage that I knew there was more. There was more freedom God desired for us, and things we didn’t want to pass on to our children.

Listen to Brent and Sarah’s full story here:

Q: What are some things you discovered prior to your Next-Level Life Event that were holding you back?

Sarah: I was a very big people pleaser, I would apologize for any little thing in my life. Very quickly you helped me to realize that it wasn’t my responsibility to make others happy, and that I wasn’t the problem. Next-Level Life has given me so much freedom to be more. I’m much more confident in our marriage, in sharing my opinion without worry it will offend or inconvenience him.

I can stand up and speak for myself in a confident way now, and it has brought a lot of health to our marriage and my family….Now I’m free to be me. Now I’m finally able to embrace who God has created me to be and really love who he’s created. and think, “Wow, I”m glad I get to be me today.”

Before my event, I didn’t really know me or love me because i was trying to be somebody else for someone else.

Brent: There are many things I struggle with… and Next-Level Life highlighted the bottom of the pool and why those things occurred… why I would self sabotage. I need context and the why before I can understand something – getting that was game-changing.

Next-Level Life is a start to a journey, and a reset, truth being unleashed in your life. I can now move forward with some really awesome intentionality.

You don’t just come to Next-Level Life and take a magic pill and everything’s fixed, you now have the tools to walk forward and fix it.

Listen to the full episode here:

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Chris LoCurto

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October 11, 2016

How to Care for Employees with PTSD

October 11, 2016 | By | One Comment">One Comment

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For leaders, it can be difficult to deal with mental health in the workplace. It’s not an easy topic, and many leaders do not have the resources and tools they need to make their employees successful. 

For today’s Q&A we dive into this question:

“I have employees who are responsible for doing advertising sales, and just over a year ago I hired a disabled military vet with PTSD. This is my first experience as a business owner with hiring veterans and while I’m compassionate to his challenges, I really don’t understand them. I also recently hired another individual who was a victim of years of abuse. I am committed to finding ways to provide them with the tools they need to succeed. They have a great work ethic, but I feel like I’m failing them. What do I do to address the situation?

This is a difficult, powerful subject. Here’s what you’ll discover in this episode:

  • How to lead a team member with PTSD or other trauma
  • The tools and resources you need as a leader dealing with employee’s mental health
  • Understanding PTSD triggers, and “fight or flight” mode
  • Where these responses come from in their Root System
  • How fear attacks the brain
  • The biggest piece of healing PTSD
  • What food, diet, and EMDR have to do with PTSD
  • What part Next-Level Life plays in recovery
  • A just “getting over yourself,” or “solving this” mindset is detrimental
  • How to turn your focus away from trauma

Resources:

If you want to be on the show and have your question answered by me, it’s easy to do now. Get on the schedule here.

Next-Level Life Event

 

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Reviews are insanely helpful. I read each and every one of them! Please leave an honest review for Chris LoCurto Show Podcast.

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Chris LoCurto

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September 28, 2016

How This Couple Discovered Their Strongest Life, 17 Years Later

September 28, 2016 | By | No Comments">No Comments

5

If you’re not getting the things you need, don’t wait…change. How? By choosing to change. You have to make the choice.

Today we are talking with some fantastic people. Mike and Cathy have been through Next-Level Life individually, and had phenomenal experiences. We like to share this, because we get people asking all the time, wanting to know what it’s like, wanting to hear about the process and results from the inside. We love hearing from people who have experienced this event.

They can say it better than I can, because they’re telling their story. It’s a powerful story… Here’s our conversation:

Q: What was life like before your Next-Level Life Events?

Cathy: Life was full of misunderstanding. I did not know how to get perspective on what was happening, how I was reacting, and what the reality of the situation was. There was a lot of confusion. I thought what we did was normal, I told myself,  “It just, is, that’s how it is and how I deal with it.” I didn’t realize I was confused. I was used to seeing the same results…

Mike: It was a lot of anger, hurt, frustration…insecurity. When I tried to grasp for control, and people didn’t understand that I was trying to make things better, I would hurt people in the process. I was a control freak causing damage to my family, that’s not what I wanted to do. It was an insane spiral of me feeling insecure, and grabbing for control.

That’s something we walk through in Next-Level Life, that control is an illusion.  

Q: Why did it take you so long to decide to come through the event?

Mike: Self-worth. I didn’t feel like I was the guy who could be successful with the tools from the process. I wanted to be that guy, but couldn’t see myself that way. My internal conversation was 24/7, and very self-deprecating. The other thing that scared the heck out of me was, I didn’t want to come in and have all my past brought to the surface, stuff that I was unaware of. It was stepping back and trusting you guys when you said, “this isn’t going to uncover things from your childhood that are hidden to you right now…” This event is not about that.

Q: What are some specific things that were holding you back in life? Period.

Mike: I did not realize it until Next-Level Life, but I very much had a victim mentality. I allowed it to drive so many decisions, along with fear, and it paralyzed me. I was my own worst enemy.

Cathy: Being a mom and wife, I realized that I was putting off my own self care so that I could take care of my family. I wasn’t taking care of myself.

…and how did that work out for you?

Let’s say that things are much better now. *laughter* I came through Next-Level Life realizing I have to actively love me, as much as I am pouring into loving others.

Exactly, You must put God first. Put your health second, not your happiness, your health, and then focus on your spouse and others.

Cathy: I can do what God created me to do which is to bless others, without making myself lesser to that service.

Q: How were your Next-Level Life events…?

Mike: I came away with the record of most sheets of paper… *laughter* I have never had anything lay out my life in such clarity. I had issues with family…they trained me a certain way, and I trained my children that way. I vilified people because I was hurt so much, and when I went through Next-Level Life I literally came out with a different perspective, rather than putting someone as the “bad guy,” I understood and felt empathy. Before, it was all anger and wanting justice. It was THE MOST freeing experience. I came away with peace I had never experienced before. I was scared (that word doesn’t do it justice) to do the event, but I needed something else, more. I didn’t have the answers…The answer to why I was where I was.

As soon as I came back I began implementing, changing.

It impacted me like nothing I’ve done in my life before.

I used to manipulate through fear and anger to get people to do what I wanted them to do, the change in me and the change in Cathy has been so substantial, we have one child coming through in a few months and another child coming through Summer of next year. These are adult children that are making the decision to come on their own because they’ve seen the change. You can’t get your kids to do stuff like that if they’re not genuinely seeing the benefit.

They are seeing their dad become a dad.

When I came back, within 3 days of coming home…My son was playing a video game and there was a bug in the game that made it malfunction. He told me that it was his fault…I asked him why. And he kept blaming himself and said it was just easier to blame himself.

Front and center, there was the thought process I had trained in my kid.

Cathy: My Next-Level Life event was powerful, eye-opening. It was a lot of gaining perspective. It wasn’t just gaining perspective, it was shifting perspective. Everything is right there in front of you, and there are things that you are missing, that you’re just not seeing. That baggage you come into adulthood with, the perspective on that can be shifted because you have someone guiding you and walking you through seeing things from a new set of eyes. There was no taking sides. It’s done kindly, lovingly, and strongly. I didn’t feel strong-armed into seeing or feeling a particular way. I was challenged on “is that reality? Or are you just carrying a perspective you came in with?”

Life doesn’t stop happening after the event. You don’t come through Next-level Life and then it’s all roses and there’s nothing to deal with in life. For you guys, you went through some really tough stuff AFTER your events. How did you guys deal with that after your Next Level Life events?

Mike: We left my Next Level Life and within a month we got sidelined by some stuff…If I had not been equipped through Next-Level Life and wanting to set a different path, I really think our family would be broken. I am so grateful for the fact that in Next-Level Life you (the facilitators) are strong, and it’s not like you’re getting your worth from the process, so you can ask those hard questions that friends shy away from. I still remember sitting in the van with Cathy and having a conference call with Joel (a facilitator) after my event, wanting him to side with me, and he said, “Mike…if you do that, you’re going to ruin things.” I was mad I didn’t get the answer I wanted to allow me to be angry. I look back now, and I am so grateful that he took a stand…he didn’t have to. He was confident enough in who he is to say, “Mike, that’s not a decision I would make. It’s yours to make. Here’s what I see…” I respected him enough to process through it and make the right decision. We had much better results than if we had been functioning status quo.

If I had not gone through Next-Level Life, I would not have the tools to get back up and say, “this is not who I have to be or the situation I’m relegated to, I can choose a different path.”

I’ve trained my family in disfunction. I can train them in choosing a different route. It’s not necessarily functional, I’m still learning, but it’s not totally dysfunctional.*laughter*

We’re seeing sides of our kids that are like, “where have you been?” I was so angry before, I hadn’t allowed my kids to be who they were, they were intimidated.

Q: How has it impacted your marriage, and your kids?

Mike: I thought that our marriage was good before. It is great to see my wife feeling alive. You want to see your family successful, and Next-Level Life equips you to free your wife, kids. Cathy and I can have a conversation now, and I value where she’s coming from more, even if I don’t agree, and now she is stronger and voices her opinion, which I’m so glad she does.

Cathy: We’ve hit a different level of partnership, support and friendship in our marriage. There’s just this freedom to be completely who we are since Next-Level Life, without the fear of the other person not understanding. Now I feel completely comfortable and secure asking, “am I missing something? Do I have the wrong perspective?” The event it has not only affected our marriage but how we parent together.

Mike: When we came to Next Level Life, the whole team is working to make us feel more at home. You can make yourself feel right at home.

We can both be hesitant and insecure. I realized after the event that people aren’t as focused on us as we think they are. They don’t have to like or approve of us…If they make that decision, that’s their choice. I can’t control what my kids or neighbors think of me. I can control my actions, but that’s as far as it goes.

Whether it’s Next Level Life, Mastermind or Retreat, it’s coming home to family…because you guys don’t hold punches. But not in a competitive or demeaning way, it’s in a genuine manner. It’s so refreshing. It’s so valuable.

Q: How has it impacted the kids?

Mike: We’re talking about 19 year olds that have seen mom and dad pre-Next-Level Life, are now seeing you guys after Next-Level Life, and going, “I want that.” That speaks volumes to what you guys have done, what you have implemented. My daughter was working her heart out to try and do things to help me be more healthy, our family to be more healthy, and I was just shooing it away. I was so hurt (Mike’s Root System) that I couldn’t see what she was doing to appreciate it.

Your previous parenting style, had a decently negative impact on her. It’s not just she now has a dad who listens, but one who apologized, explained and helped her to see what he had done wrong, and is supportive of her now.

Q: On top of this, it has been quite a weight loss process for you.

Mike: Because of where I was emotionally, I just continued in a spiral putting on weight. I am the lowest weight I have been in 3 years…not my mindset has changed, and I can utilize advice.

Not only did you guys have phenomenal event, but you went home and implemented like crazy. That means the world to me. 

Thank you for joining me on the show and giving so much of yourselves for the people that are listening.

Q: If there was one thing you could tell the person that’s out there holding back on coming to the event

Mike:

Can I tell them two?

  1. It is so much better than you can imagine. It’s worth it. You’re worth it. Do it.
  2. I was given advice to follow through with the homework, and as we alluded to, Next-Level Life is like a Next-level, you still grow and continue on from there.

Cathy:

To be encouraged that there will be growth. It will not always be fun, but just the release of realizing who you are, and the personality that you want to have IS THERE. It’s already there, and it’s okay to release it, utilize it, it’s okay to be happy and grow into who you feel like you should’ve been this whole time. It’s scary to remove those masks…there is nothing better you will ever do than to be in the safety of this team and remove those masks.

It’s okay to be happy, and get rid of the junk that holds you back. Recognize where it’s coming from then plug in the tools to work on it, and fix it. When you have the tools, you can deal with and solve the problem, you have the tools to make life better.

The thing is, your life does not get better by waiting around, by someone coming and taking care of it for you. The government is not going to do it, your family is not going to do it. Your life is not going to get better by chance, it’s going to get better by change. To have change, you have to make a choice. 

Learn more about Next-Level Life here.

Chris LoCurto

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September 27, 2016

How This Couple Discovered Their Strongest Life

September 27, 2016 | By | No Comments">No Comments


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If you’re not getting the things you need, don’t wait…change. How? By choosing to change. You have to make the choice.

Today we are talking with some fantastic people. Mike and Cathy have been through Next-Level Life individually, and had phenomenal experiences. We like to share these stories, because we get people asking about Next-Level Life events all the time, wanting to know what it’s like, and wanting to hear about the process and results from the inside. This is Mike and Cathy’s story.

Here’s our conversation:

Q: What was life like before your Next-Level Life Events?

Cathy: Life was full of misunderstanding. I did not know how to get perspective on what was happening, how I was reacting, and what the reality of the situation was. There was a lot of confusion. I thought what we did was normal, I told myself,  “It just, is, that’s how it is and how I deal with it.” I didn’t realize I was confused. I was used to seeing the same results…

Mike: It was a lot of anger, hurt, frustration…insecurity. When I tried to grasp for control, and people didn’t understand that I was trying to make things better, I would hurt people in the process. I was a control freak causing damage to my family, that’s not what I wanted to do. It was an insane spiral of me feeling insecure, and grabbing for control.

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Q: Why did it take you so long to decide to come through the event?

Mike: Self-worth. I didn’t feel like I was the guy who could be successful with the tools from the process. I wanted to be that guy, but couldn’t see myself that way. My internal conversation was 24/7, and very self-deprecating. The other thing that scared the heck out of me was, I didn’t want to come in and have all my past brought to the surface, stuff that I was unaware of. It was stepping back and trusting you guys when you said, “this isn’t going to uncover things from your childhood that are hidden to you right now…” This event is not about that.

Q: What are some specific things that were holding you back in life? Period.

Mike: I did not realize it until Next-Level Life, but I very much had a victim mentality. I allowed it to drive so many decisions, along with fear, and it paralyzed me. I was my own worst enemy.

Cathy: Being a mom and wife, I realized that I was putting off my own self care so that I could take care of my family. I wasn’t taking care of myself.

…and how did that work out for you?

Let’s say that things are much better now. *laughter* I came through Next-Level Life realizing I have to actively love me, as much as I am pouring into loving others. I can do what God created me to do, without making myself lesser to that service.

Q: How were your Next-Level Life events…?

Mike: I came away with the record of most sheets of paper… *laughter* I have never had anything lay out my life in such clarity. I had issues with family…they trained me a certain way, and I trained my children that way. I vilified people because I was hurt so much, and when I went through Next-Level Life I literally came out with a different perspective, rather than putting someone as the “bad guy,” I understood and felt empathy.

It was THE MOST freeing experience.

I came away with peace I had never experienced before. I was scared (that word doesn’t do it justice) to do the event, but I needed something else, more. I didn’t have the answers…The answer to why I was where I was.

As soon as I came back I began implementing, changing.

It impacted me like nothing I’ve done in my life before.

The change in me and the change in Cathy has been so substantial, we have one child coming through in a few months and another child coming through Summer of next year. These are adult children that are making the decision to come on their own because they’ve seen the change. You can’t get your kids to do stuff like that if they’re not genuinely seeing the benefit.

They are seeing their dad become a dad.

Cathy: My Next-Level Life event was powerful, eye-opening. It wasn’t just gaining perspective, it was shifting perspective. Everything is right there in front of you, and there are things that you are missing, that you’re just not seeing. That baggage you come into adulthood with, the perspective on that can be shifted because you have someone guiding you and walking you through seeing things from a new set of eyes. There was no taking sides. It’s done kindly, lovingly, and strongly. I didn’t feel strong-armed into seeing or feeling a particular way. I was challenged on “is that reality? Or are you just carrying a perspective you came in with?”

Life doesn’t stop happening after the event. For you guys, you went through some really tough stuff AFTER your events. How did you guys deal with that after your Next Level Life events?…

To hear the full interview, listen here:

The thing is, your life does not get better by waiting around, by someone coming and taking care of it for you. The government is not going to do it, your family is not going to do it. Your life is not going to get better by chance, it’s going to get better by change. To have change, you have to make a choice. Learn more about Next-Level Life

Discover the life you were meant to live.

 

 

Chris LoCurto

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November 11, 2014

10 Signs You’re a People Pleaser

November 11, 2014 | By | 24 Comments">24 Comments

10 Signs You're a people pleaser

 

Are you afraid of other peoples opinions of you? Do you always seem to attract folks who need rescuing?

Well…you just might be a people pleaser.

Quite a few people who come through Next-Level Life struggle with being a people pleaser and finding their worth in the acceptance of other people. It can control them.

When your life always revolves around being a people pleaser, you actually end up losing life.

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It robs you of your authentic self, and it all comes from a person’s Root System.

The way to think about Root System is that we’re all the sum of what’s happened in the past, and the influence we’ve allowed in, and that’s from where we make every decision…like people pleasing.

In this episode of The Chris LoCurto Show, I discuss 10 signs you may be a people pleaser.

Here’s a breakdown of the 10 signs:

1. You end up doing things for others in hopes that they will do things for you.
2. You become frustrated when people don’t love you back.
3. You’re guarded and you don’t let people in so that you don’t get hurt.
4. You’re always afraid of other people’s opinions of you.
5. You feel you are worth less than other people.
6. You attract takers and people who always need to be rescued.
7. You always apologize for things that you do. You blame yourself.
8. You become a victim of constructive criticism.
9. You neglect you.
10. You let opportunities and life pass you by.

If that list sounds a lot like you and you found yourself saying, “That’s me!”, I encourage you to learn more about Next-Level Life.

Your worth is not dependent on someone else’s opinion of you. It’s dependent on God, and what He thinks of you matters most.

Find your significance in Him! He’s crazy about you!

Question: Without naming names, do you know someone who is a people pleaser? (Maybe yourself)  Which sign would you say is most prominent for them?