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Chris LoCurto

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September 30, 2014

The Quarter Life Crisis [Podcast]

September 30, 2014 | By | 23 Comments">23 Comments

We’ve got a hot topic on today’s show – The Quarter Life Crisis.

I see this issue come up a lot in LifePlan and it’s serious. You’ve got younger folks, maybe right out of college or even in their thirties, asking questions like:

“Why am I not happy with my life?”
“Why don’t I have the dream job?”
“Why am I not making the money I thought I would make?”
“Why am I so lonely?”
“Am I going to have to sit in this cubicle for the rest of my life?”

the quarter life crisis

In this episode we cover:

  • The causes of a Quarter Life Crisis
  • How to solve it if you’re going through it
  • How to know if you’re the cause of a Quarter Life Crisis in your kids (I may step on some toes!)
  • How to help someone who’s going through a Quarter Life Crisis.

This is a reality check episode…so let’s dive in!

 

Question: Have you had an experience with someone going through a Quarter Life Crisis?

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  • http://www.connectinteractivellc.com Norma Maxwell

    Quarter-life crisis sounds pretty appealing to me right about now (not to minimize of course! :)

    • http://www.ChrisLoCurto.com Chris LoCurto

      HAHAHA!!!! I totally get what you mean Norma!

  • http://www.justindirose.com justindirose

    I’m 26 and totally went through this. It took God breaking through to heal some pain in my heart and gleaning from leaders about personal responsibility to get through it.

    Now I’m in a place where I see a lot of peers hitting it and they’re totally blowing up their lives (in not a great way). How do I come along side of them to help? I know my role as a friend and peer is a lot different from a parent or boss.

    Secondly, I was connecting this podcast to the idea that grace is a license to sin and do what you want. No wonder why we (Millenials) are buying into this idea left and right! We were taught to want results before the process.

    Anyway, thanks for the awesome podcast, Chris!

    • http://www.ChrisLoCurto.com Chris LoCurto

      Hey Justin, the best thing you can do to help a peer is help them to see reality. It’s not what’s being preached to them through “reality” TV, and it’s not what’s being held back from them from family members.

      If they understand that the world owes them nothing, but they can have all they want if they are willing to bust it, then they can move in the right direction of healing.

      Past that they would need someone who’s experienced in showing them WHY they are where they are, which relates heavily to family issues.

      Does this make sense?

      As for Grace being a license to sin, that’s a painful lie that we get sold, isn’t it? Praise God for Grace, because without it, I would be a complete mess. But with it, I have to use Grace to straighten my life, not make it worse. lol

  • Josh Palcic

    Great message, Chris! So many takeaways. I love your suggestion for everyone to have the opportunity to work on a farm and as a server. I did both in my teenage years and gained insight from both.

    So many young people that are moving back in with their parents because they are not finding a job that supports their college/career choice. Was just speaking with a client of mine who has a grown child that has moved back in with her and a highschool daughter who had a fit when she couldn’t use her mom’s car. She always loves my insight, but has difficulty establishing and keeping boundaries with her kids.

    • http://www.ChrisLoCurto.com Chris LoCurto

      Isn’t it tough Josh to guide people who have created that entitlement out of good intentions? I feel so bad for parents like that, because what they meant for good, actually caused so much heartache.

      It’s so difficult, but if possible, that parent(s) needs to heavily focus on PROPER boundaries and quickly. While they still have a chance to influence.

      Thanks for the input Josh!

  • Alan Stout

    Dear Chris, you are really starting to hit the sweet spot in these podcasts. I’m so enjoying listening to them and also learning to change myself in small ways, let things go from my past, so that I can be a more successful person / parent. Really awesome! My favorite part was when you talked about how we aren’t entitled to anything, but we have the privilege of being part of the plan of Almighty God (or words somehow to that effect)

    I’m now 28 and feel I have just made it through my quarter-life crisis. In the last year I got married, moved to Spain, had just graduated with a degree in theology though I knew I wanted to return to a business / marketing job, had a child, was unemployed and not sure of what to do with myself. Oh, and I spoke no Spanish. When I arrived in Spain I ran around like a chicken with my head cut off having multiple offers for work but not having the right visa / papers so that I could start working. Can you see the crisis starting to unfold?

    I was worried, had my head in my hands wondering what the hell I was going to do with my life, angry with the Spanish bureaucrats and everyone else, and frustrated beyond all belief that I didn’t have things the way I wanted them. But you know, God was so good to me. He gave me a professional and spiritual adviser and friend to help me pull myself out of the negativity that I was holding on to.

    One thing he said was to look back one year and see if your life wasn’t better than it was the year before. You know, I did. I saw it was so much better than the year before, even if it was so much harder. I saw that I had changed, that I was being trained for so much more. I took stock of the incredible relationships that I have here, the opportunity to really learn and live in Spanish and become fluent, the training to relate well with people, and above all the humility to accept my circumstances the way they are.

    What I found was that humility was only possible through faith in a loving father. Humility becomes foolishness if there is no loving, attentive father taking care of us, because humility ultimately says, “not my will, but yours.”

    Clearest example of this? One thing I tend to stress about is money, making payments, getting our budget put together. Guess what, in 12 months of living here, we were both able to tithe the full 10% every single month, and were able to save something. Yes, the budget was tight, but we were never, ever abandoned.

    • http://www.ChrisLoCurto.com Chris LoCurto

      Amen brother!! That’s awesome to hear. It’s crazy when we let go of the stress so that we can focus on what He actually has for us. When we do, we begin to grow in His ways, which are WAY better than ours.

      Entitlement says that this is MY story, humility recognizes that it is HIS story and I’m Blessed to be a part.

      I’m proud of you Alan!

  • Ken Trupke

    As always, good stuff, Chris, thanks!

    For anyone in the CLo Tribe looking to be a more successful parent, I strongly recommend Kirk Martin’s Celebrate Calm.
    http://celebratecalm.com

    Kirk’s material is LIFE-CHANGING AMAZING!! Seriously!
    It’s 100% practical, relevant and EFFECTIVE.
    I’ve seen him speak and have a bunch of his CDs.
    Check it out.

    Also really good is Andy Andrew’s 100-Year Parenting course.
    http://www.andyandrews.com/100yearparenting-2/

  • http://www.RickCoplin.com/ RickCoplin

    Congratulations @lilykreitinger:disqus ! Great to see communicating with such Clarity that you rocked Chris’ attention. Way to go!

    • http://www.getservekeep.com/ Joel Fortner

      This isn’t the first time she’s done that!!!

  • http://www.davidicalhiphop.com/ Ricardo ‘Reason’ Butler

    This was a good message! I’ve had a quarter life Crisis! So I KNOW what you are talking about. Though parenting was the root and foundational issue, for me I made a lot of wrong decisions while I was in the US Army that spilled over into my civilian life after I got out from which I am still paying for it almost 13 years later. Even going to Full Sail University for a BA in music business and entrepreneurship didn’t help, band aid, or “cancel out” error. I can’t really talk about on this blog what happened but I’m fighting to get out of this situation, but as I talked to Dan Miller about it, we both agreed that it will be hard to overcome and the only other solution was to go the entrepreneur route because seeking regular employment is not going to work for me and because of my pass it’s almost impossible. But I am the people over at 48Days.net are given me ideas that are very slowing showing some results. It’s just going to take a while.

    • http://www.davidicalhiphop.com/ Ricardo ‘Reason’ Butler

      Oh by the way I heard you mention about some personalty profiles for those who left a comment on your how we could get a job or make you money podcast. How does that work? You da man CLo

      • http://www.ChrisLoCurto.com Chris LoCurto

        I believe you and Joel emailed on this. If not, hit him up at Joel@ChrisLoCurto.com

    • http://www.ChrisLoCurto.com Chris LoCurto

      While people may not see your change Ricardo, the great thing is that God has always known you would. I know you know that, but sometimes it’s great to know that other people understand it as well, even when most don’t.

      I’m so proud of you for fighting to make your life the best it could possibly be!! More importantly, God is proud of you. As I teach in LifePlan, God loves you EXACTLY where you are; He just doesn’t want to keep you there.

  • http://www.lilykreitinger.com/ Lily Kreitinger

    So when I started listening, I thought, wow, I will get to be 120 years old because before LifePlan, I was in this “Quarter Life Crisis” ;) So many great insights on parenting, entitlement and helping our kids be happy and healthy adults. Thank you!!

    • http://www.ChrisLoCurto.com Chris LoCurto

      My pleasure Lily!!

  • http://www.davidicalhiphop.com/ Ricardo ‘Reason’ Butler

    Hey Chris this podcast is not set for download. I want to take it with me as I travel to work. Do you have it downloadable on iTunes or somewhere else? Thanks!

  • paulrgosselin

    Good topic and well said. I’m afraid I have this problem in my household right now. The problem now is how to fix it when it’s so established. It can become a full out medical problem.

    • http://www.ChrisLoCurto.com Chris LoCurto

      I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this Paul. Solving it while it’s so established usually starts with the parents taking responsibility and apologizing for allowing it, and then giving the child a serious dose of reality. It’s an incredibly difficult and painful process, but ends up considerably better than the alternative. Thanks for commenting Paul!

    • Ken Trupke

      Paul,
      Check out Kirk Martin’s Celebrate Calm.
      http://celebratecalm.com
      In all his material, Kirk gives you strategies and tactics – even scripting some conversations – that are totally practical and EFFECTIVE.
      If your situation involves kids around the 18-28 range, start with “Motivate Unmotivated Kids”.

      Good luck!