For many people, letting go of hurt, anger, pride, and the past is more difficult than watching Gigli. While others are able to shake bad things off, or look at everything with a fantastically positive attitude, most people struggle to just let go.
And when you see someone who seems to be mad or negative about everything, it’s usually not everything they’re mad about. It’s from something much deeper that’s been buried inside for a long time.
Over a third of the leaders and entrepreneurs that I coach, have connected some of the issues in their business with something that happened in their childhood or relationship, or lack there of, with their father.
When leading people through LifePlan, I spend time working through the big turns in someone’s life, not the big crazy experiences, to discover why they are where they are and why they make the decisions they make. Having this information is the beginning of what I use to lead them to the life they actually want.
In all situations, letting go becomes key. Now, as I say that, there are a ton of friends or spouses out there that always say, “I told you that you needed to do that”. Here is what I can promise you – it doesn’t matter how many times you tell someone what’s wrong with them, or what they need to do, if they don’t ever get to the root of the issue, they’ll never be able to “let go.”
Obviously I can’t go through two days worth of info in this post, but here are some things you can do right now to help you let go:
- Hurt people, hurt people. – You have to understand that people, by their very nature, don’t just enjoy hurting others. Instead, if someone is causing another person pain, and it seems even remotely intentional, it’s because there is something deep inside that’s causing them to hurt. If that’s you, recognize that if most of the people you come across are asking you to move out of the state because you’re a jerk, then you might be reacting from deep hurt. Focus on letting your reactions be from any love in your heart that you can muster.
- You are good enough! – Just about half of the people I coach struggle from some form of not feeling good enough. The crazy thing is, most of them don’t even know it. There are so many influences in your life that help you to feel like you can’t achieve enough, succeed enough, be pretty enough, and ultimately be good enough. It is vitally important for you to enjoy ANY life that you have left, to discover that you ARE good enough. If there is a single person in your life trying to convince you that you aren’t, KICK THEIR BUTTS OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!! Never again allow someone to treat you as though you aren’t good enough!
- Are you bitter, or are you better? – One day I was talking with a friend of mine, Mike Hardwick, when he shared with me a life rule that his dad, Pastor Hardwick, used to share with him and his brother Steve. He would share with the boys about a situation that someone went through, and then ask them, “Boys, did that person get better, or get bitter?” That lesson has helped two great men who have gone through a lot to be better in spite of everything. It’s your choice which way you end up. But my prayer is that you choose to be better.
- Everything happens for a reason. – I believe that everything crosses God’s desk first. I have spent my life helping God’s children. It’s probably my greatest passion. In my own LifePlan I was struggling asking God, “Why is it that I have dedicated my life to helping your children, and yet I have a life that has been full of heartache and issues?!” While I was crying out, I felt like God said that He’s allowed me to go through what I have because He knew I would be strong enough to take it, and that I would use it to bless His children. I have to say it was a bittersweet and comforting moment. Funny thing is, He didn’t say the hard times were over yet. If you feel that bad things happen for no reason at all, then you’ll spend a life time not growing. Take every bad situation and seek to find the blessing, no matter how difficult it is to do.