Can Joel and I agree on Brian’s Three Rules for leaving your past behind you? You’ll find out today!
We’re in the second episode of a fun, new mini-series with one goal in mind: you.
We think you’ll enjoy the new format and interaction, but more importantly you’ll get to listen in on the reasoning (and debate) that goes into some of the core principles that we hold to in our businesses.
This time around, leaving your past behind you. Easier said than done, right? For so many people the thing that continuously trips them up in the present is being nagged (or better said, plagued) by their past.
So, how do you get past it? Follow these three rules for leaving your past behind you!
Enjoy today’s episode,
465 | Three Rules For Leaving Your Past Behind You
Chris LoCurto 0:10
Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are.
Welcome to the show, folks hope you're having a fabulous day, we are having another great day as we are, I am joined by the two phenomenal people Brian Alex and Joel Fortner. This is a series that we're doing that Brian has created this fantastic hey, here's three rules. You guys agree with them, rip them apart, disagree with each other, whatever it is. And so today, we are on a nother topic. So Brian, why don't you take it from here and explain what we're hitting today.
Brian A 0:54
Alright, so today, three rules for leaving your past behind you. Here's, here's kind of the rationale behind the topic. And just like we did last time, we're going to open up the topic a little bit, set the context, dig a hole, and then set the ladder to hopefully help folks get out of this. But a lot of emotional trauma in our present is rooted in our past, we have a name for that around here. We call that the root system. It can be part of our root system where we have trauma experiences and all of that. But it's it's some something changes in us when we choose to change how we think about those things in our past. And what I mean by that is this. Our perspective can change the way we experience things. In the present. We you know, we've said it before, from Seneca, we suffer more in imagination more often than in reality. It's our imagine it's how we think about the trauma, we go into victim mentality, we have all these things. But what would we add to that if we're setting up this about leaving our past? And we're going to give some steps to that. What Where do people get stuck? Right here? And how deep does this hole really go?
Chris LoCurto 2:17
Good stuff, good stuff. All right, we're gonna hit that when we come back right after this.
Unknown Speaker 2:26
Freedom, it's so powerful, I felt rejuvenated, almost renewed,
Speaker 2 2:30
I just felt so welcomed and loved and accepted for who I am, and not an ounce of judgment. So I was very comfortable there that had a really big impact on me, it's going to be worth it is going to be hard. But it's going to be even better. On the other side. For
Unknown Speaker 2:47
me, it was just, it was very refreshing. And I'm gonna say life healing. For me, it really was,
Speaker 2 2:53
you know, I would go to next level life again. And probably again, and probably again, because it's so powerful.
Chris LoCurto 3:01
I want you to ask yourself a question. Could you hear the sense of hope and freedom and their voices just that I want you to know? That could be you. Look, it's easy to get trapped in old habits, negative thought patterns and unhealthy relationships. It's gonna take some work. But yes, there is hope for you. If you want to experience the same kind of life transformation, this same kind of self awareness and freedom that they have. Or maybe you're just curious what the process would look like for you, then head on over to Chrislocurto.com/next level life
All right, we are back and we're hitting the three rules of leaving. Hello, by the way, we haven't mentioned this but Joel and I have no clue this is we specifically did this so that we could just hit the three rules and then us give input on it. So Brian, take it away.
Brian A 3:58
All right, so we're talking about three rules for leaving your past behind you and let's just set up the context a little bit how we think about our past it has an effect on us right now and we talk about this a lot in Next-Level Life we talked about root system but for a lot of people that struggle the struggle is here in their mind and how they think and process about the past and and so before we give some rules guys just speak into the context a little bit. How deep does this hole really go?
Joel Fortner 4:36
You know, not exactly knowing what that means. About our Alice in Wonderland hole here. It it's, I mean it's enormously deep, especially depending on it. If you're a person especially who comes from a lot of difficulty, trauma toxicity in your past, whether it's your parents or a parent or whether It's brokenness in your home, or whether it's stuff that's happened to you, that's terrible and awful. That this can run extremely deep in terms of especially being able to move forward, this whole concept of quote unquote, like leaving your past behind is, is, there's a lot of that that really isn't necessarily possible at times. But it's how you manage yourself going forward. But man, if for just to speak a little more into this, it's like, if you come from a little bit of difficulty, difficult past, then it's going to be easier for you, I believe, to learn and to lead yourself more effectively self manage overcome struggles. When you've come from decades of it. You're talking about years and years and years of a healing and restoration journey.
Chris LoCurto 5:52
Yeah, I look forward to the rules, the things that we're going to dig into. With what you've shared. So far, the thing I would say is the probably the most important thing that we teach now, lots of what we talked about are, are the what's and the whys. Everybody can come to a place of understanding what the problems are, what the decisions they make, what the what are the things that they screw up, counseling focuses a hell of a heck of a lot on what we would call the surface level response, and how to deal or cope with that surface level response. For us, we focus on something everybody should have a great counselor to talk to. For us, we focus on something deeper, we want to get to why does it exist. And there's a super important reason for that. And we believe that it you know, this is something that God has guided us to, and that is to helping people to get to the why not the what people can see the word all the time. When you understand why the issue exists, the deposit in your root system exists, the training from a parent or grandparent or somebody in your life exists, when you understand the why. And you couple that with the decisions you're making in life, whether good, unhealthy, healthy, self destructive self sabotaging, whatever it is holding you back, propelling you forward, when you can couple that, then you can understand whether or not you want to make different decisions, because now you understand where the decisions are coming from, and why you make them. And then most people, if not all, coming through Next-Level Life, we've done, what over 450 of those things now. Those things, those things, those super intense two day events, you know those things, huge life changing events. What happens is when somebody comes through and sees those, they're like, oh, my gosh, now I understand why I keep doing this, or this or this. And why keep telling myself this lie or this lie. And I'm done. I just need the tools. What do I do to fix this? So that's I think that's a very important piece of understanding. When we look at this concept of looking back and leaving your past behind. Sometimes we're not leaving our past behind. Sometimes we're reordering and restructuring our concept of it to get to greater perspective, so we can make better decisions. So I hope that helps.
Brian A 8:23
Awesome. All right. So here's how we play if you're new to this series, we've got three rules, I'm going to read the rule, its associated rationale to help unpack that a little bit and give some clarity. And then one of you will kick it off with an immediate reaction. Maybe you love it, maybe you hate it. You'll want to modify it to fit your perspective and your experience and the other person ways in either agreeing or disagreeing. Remember that the more disagreement the more entertaining and informative it will be. So,
Chris LoCurto 8:57
So much disagreement so far.
Brian A 9:00
Trying to find something to push back on, Chris, you're the master at saying "Do you have any pushback?" because already pushed back and push back? This is the chance you've been waiting for the push back. So push back gently. It's Joel. But the point is that the listener takes away some of the ideation and the deliberation that goes into it. So we're not just straight teaching a point they're getting some perspective around it. So are we ready? Let's get cracking.
Rule number one for leaving your past behind you is to determine if it's true or false, whatever whatever it is that's been haunting you the tapes that are playing over and over in your head. Is it objectively true or not? Here's the rationale. You can battle resist and defend yourself against negative thoughts with the truth. So rule number one, true or false? True.
Joel Fortner 9:57
It is. Chris, let's say you false. I think here I just said it just to say go moving on rule number two. Yeah, it's true. It's true, because you're speaking about a person's belief system, our, our belief system is, is highly trained as people from what we from parents beliefs, and teachings and behaviors to lies that we have been told that we learned to tell ourselves lies that we pick up, and we teach to tell ourselves, how much guilt we struggle with, blaming ourselves, we struggle with self criticism. And so much of that is lie driven, or it's been taught by toxic voices of your past that you've picked up. And now you guilt and shame and beat yourself up and become your biggest critic, probably nine out of every 10 Next of all life, if not 10, out of 10. self criticism is a huge deal. Well listen to that self criticism is take it to being a physical criticism. Let's say I just punched myself in the head all the time. That's what we're doing verbally. I've never ever met someone that just naturally arrived there that doesn't come from a lot of difficulty and toxicity in their past. And what's interesting is that when we come from a difficult path with toxic voices and opinions and behavior toward us, is that we grow up. And it's as if they've successfully delegated this toxic belief system into you. And now you just run on it yourself. I've never not seen someone can I say that? Never not. You can disagree with that, Chris, just pick that part right? There you go. So every single time, you will see that person have a very difficult lot of surface level responses. Think very poorly of themselves. And when you dig into their past, you will hear and find exactly where that comes from and their root system. Because if you look at contrast that with Healthy People, you look in their past, you don't see that you don't see people that just are obliterating them and filling their head with what with toxic thought in lies and guilt and shame and feeling like you're just a big failure. You're you're trained to believe that stuff.
Chris LoCurto 12:35
Yeah, I do love how you tied in the other three rules of delegation into this one, the wealth and not even knowing always,
Joel Fortner 12:42
always looking for synergy.
Chris LoCurto 12:45
There you go, oh, there is no doubt that we lie to ourselves. We lie to ourselves about all kinds of things. We every single person. And the funny thing is 99% of people get that when we talk about that in like next level life or something. And then every now and then somebody will go, What do you mean, I lie to myself? We do it all the time, right? I'm not good enough. I'm not attractive enough. I'm not funny enough. I'm not smart enough. I'll never have a good enough spouse. These people hate me. Whatever it is, there's an insane number of, of lies that we tell ourselves and it's just different, according to the person, right? That's, you know, I tell myself different lies. Then you tell yourself, Brian, are you tell yourself joke, even though we may have some that are very similar. The key is what we call gaining quality perspective. Now, perspective means nothing more than point of view, right? However, my point of view is what I live by, right. And if I have unhealthy people around me, then it's probably a smart thing that I only live by my point of view. However, if I'm the most toxic of all the people around me, then it's probably not. One of the things we'll do in like strat plan is I always have like a coffee canister. I'm holding this up as if people could see it on our podcast. But I've got our crystal crystal water bottle actually use it as coffee canister. Catherine always fills this cup of coffee for me during strat plans. And I'll always on the table with all these leaders around the table say hey, question for you what color what color is this canister? And they'll all say it's black. And I say well, what if I said it was blue? And every now and then somebody gay? Somebody will say I'd say you're stupid.
I'd say and then I pick up the canister and I turn it half turn. Now again, it's still a black canister. I say what if my side was blue? And then they go oh, well, then I'd say I didn't see it from your side. Exactly. That's correct. Quality perspective is looking at your situation from every possible angle to gain information so you can make the best decision about your situation, right? When we look at self sabotage, when we look at lying to ourselves, as Joel pointed out, I may be trained by toxic parents, that I am a terrible, horrible, son piece of crap, whatever, right? That everybody's happiness is my responsibility that I should be blamed for when things aren't going well in their lives, even though I have absolutely nothing to do with it, you know, whatever their thing is their struggle. For them being out of control, they try to take control by controlling me suggesting that I feel horrible about myself. And then what happens, the moment I receive that toxicity, it becomes my reality. It becomes my perspective, right? If I have quality, healthy perspective, and I'm able to, you know, do something like a next level life, sit down with somebody who actually can see things from different perspectives or healthy perspectives and find out that there's pieces that aren't accurate about that are not true, that I can get to a better perspective, I can get to better truths about my life. Most people, it's so for so many women that you know, we're three guys that can't really get this. But I don't know a woman who doesn't understand this. The there was a cartoon strip that I saw, jeez, decades ago of a skinny woman, looking at a mirror and sing it very overweight woman. And that was something that, for me, I'm the type of person who I noticed things I won't understand why they exist, why it happens, what that thought process is, and every woman that you talk to you say Do you agree with that cartoon strip? Oh, yeah, absolutely. That's what I see. When I look in the mirror, I see all of my flaws. You know, when as a guy, we can look at that person and go, you're just you're drop dead gorgeous. Look at how beautiful you are. You're so pretty whatever the person goes, Yeah, but look at my hair today. And look, I've got these blemishes on my face and look at and what they are constantly telling themselves. And thank you to us and media and you know, all kinds of people over the centuries, basing women's worth on their outside instead of, you know, on what God says about them. It makes it very easy for them to believe those lines, right? That they aren't beautiful enough that nobody's going to appreciate them for who they are. And so funny thing is, is for years and years and years, as I've been helping women to take a better look at themselves in a better perspective. Whenever you push on the hay, why do you tell yourself those? Oh, it's just for me? No, it's because you're comparing yourself in the eyes of other people, other women and the funny thing, it's more about other women judging them. It's not even more about other men judging them. They're like, No, no, no, no, it's just me judging myself. Every woman will do that. No, no, it's just me. Well, if it's just you, then why does it matter? And when you dig in, dig into again, what happens is three layers down, what you discover is I am worried about what other women think about me. And the funny thing is, is they will readily admit that when they look at another woman they're judging. And so when they judge according to what the world has said, then they expect that every woman is judging them in the same process. Right. All of that is a bunch of bunk, right, a bunch of hooey. have ever used hooey before there we go. There's hooey because it's based on light, the world's way of saying this is your work, or this is a large portion of your worth. So gaining quality perspective, if I was to go and look at what God says about me as a woman, if I were a woman, that I would see how in love with me he is and how I'm made fearfully and wonderfully in his image, and that he is pursuing me and he has such a greater destiny than then put my outside holds, right. If I could see those truths and God, then I can gain greater perspective and understand what my struggles are. So that's I don't know if that was rapid fire, but there you go.
Brian A 19:20
The delegate from Idaho yields the mic if there's no retort, let's move on to rule number two. Remember, we're talking because you've probably forgotten what we were even talking about.
Three rules for leaving your past behind you, and someone just fell under the bus. Okay.
Rule number two, determine if you could have done something better or different based on the information you had at the time. Here's the rationale. Many times it's been comforting to me to think about where I was at the time what info I had My maturity level, everything else and self assess if I didn't know any better at the time, then I can stop beating myself up if I knew better. Well, that's on me and I've got to change. So the rule number two is determine if you could have done something better or different. Is that helpful or no?
Chris LoCurto 20:20
Yes. As we're going through this, what I want to point out is we do not get to be victims as adults. We don't get to be victims as kids, technically, we are victims, we are under our parents guidance and direction, we're supposed to honor them and follow them, at least biblically. But as adults, we make our own decisions. The key is, I must take responsibility for my decisions. So we always talk about if somebody is being controlling and manipulative, and they're, they're setting your reality and telling you you're such a horrible person. If there's no truth to that, you don't receive it, you push it back and give it back to them. That's them struggling with what they're struggling with. Pray for them, hope for them, but don't receive it, right. But if somebody tells me that I'm being a jerk, and I truly am stopped, but I take a look at myself when I'm being a jerk. Guess what, I need to take responsibility for that. I need to accept that and do something about it. So first part of this is no victim mentality. We don't get to be victims. So to answer the question, yes, that is a correct statement. It, my fear is I don't want to give a pass, right. I don't want to I don't want to make it worse. Somebody looks back at their past and goes, Oh, well, I don't have to take responsibility, because I didn't know better back then. No, no. If you screwed up, take responsibility. We have a thing where we talked about this with parents that when they come through next level life, and they see how much they've perpetuated some of the crap from their past, onto their kids. And they see it in like, oh my gosh, I've screwed up my kids. And it's like, yep, but you can do something about it. Oh, I could never go and apologize. And no, no, you can? What's the fear? Well, then, I will look like a terrible parents and, and you know, then I'm putting control in their hands and authority. No, you don't understand. When you look, if your parent came to you and apologized for everything, that they screwed up and said that they're trying to work on it and fix it, even if it was something that was 3040 years ago? How would you respond every single time people go, Oh, God, I'd forgive them. Why? Because God created that relationship, that parent child relationship. So what we teach people is yes, you didn't know better back then. Should you have? Sure? Could you have done a better job? Learning how to be a better parent learning how to be a better team member learning how to be a better leader? Learning how to be whatever the you know, fill in the blank. Absolutely. But now that you see it, is there need for taking responsibility? Is there a need for restitution? Is there need for just helping somebody who has experienced what you've done? Like, you know, if I'm saying a parent, you know, as a child who's experienced the bad parenting? Is there a need for them to be released from what they are struggling with, which is most likely blaming themselves? It must be my fault that my parents did this. So if you're able to sweep in and take some responsibility, they can actually not only change your life, but change there's so disagree with me. I know.
Brian A 23:46
It's there's so much there to describe a Joel so just pick some
Joel Fortner 23:49
is there? It's um, yeah, it's it's hard when, you know, Chris has been my main teacher and leader for years, you know, we tend to think very similarly. And then the ways that we actually help people, praise God actually do help people. So I think the thing I would add to this to what Chris is saying is that there is freedom found in personal responsibility. You can get past fear, guilt, shame, and you can get to, you know, what I did that. I don't need to guilt and shame myself, or I don't need to hide from that. Those are surface level responses right there that we need to understand. Why are you even responding like that to these things? And if you'll dig in, you'll find probably where you're even taught to hide from your failures rather than see, shoot. That's me. I need to know own that. So it's a there is such power and freedom in recognizing bad decisions anytime in life. And wrong responses to people. Oftentimes we have to be taught at times, well, what is a wrong response? Was that a bad decision? Because sometimes people we just don't know. Because that's not where we come from. But we can get definition. And we can get our logical brain around. Yep, that was a bad choice. I need to now own that. Now, what are my options going forward? Because it isn't just a Oh, yep, I did that. Now, let's say Okay, now what do you need to do? That may be I'm going to work on that, I'm going to practice healthy responses, I'm going to actually battle lies with truths, I'm going to actually focus on these self management steps, I'm going to focus on realizing, Oh, this is my training here. This and it come it came from imperfect people, or it came from really difficult experiences I've had, and you start to get to the whole why behind the what it provides freedom to then just see, you know what, I did that, or I'm doing that today, or what I respond to my child or my spouse or my brother in these ways. Man, that's actually not right of me to do that. But it doesn't make me just just a bad person. Because that's the fear. It's the oh my gosh, I'm gonna be I'm so terrible. I'm now here comes the shame. Here comes the guilt here comes to beating yourself up. No, no, those are also trained, taught responses. It's all just let me hide from it. But we learn to see this stuff very objectively. It's like we I think we're going to do an episode sometime. More, maybe, maybe edit this out? I don't know, you tell me that on the whole rational versus irrational thinking of like, what are we doing, and it's a matter of getting to, okay, this is my rational brain thinking, or this is my negative emotion that I struggle with. It's powering my thinking, as opposed to logical, rational thinking of seeing, what am I doing now? Or then? Why was I doing it? What were my goals, and part of my testimony and story is looking back in, in my especially my 20s. So many bad decisions very much living for Joel. But I don't look back with any shame and guilt. And I can look back at all kinds of junk and stupid decisions that I made, how I hurt people, how I took advantage of people, all kinds of things. People don't know me to be that way today. But I know me to be that person in my past. But I don't look back with shame and guilt. I look back and see. See your brokenness, see where you were nowhere with God, see how you were living for you see how you were living from man's approval? Look how you were living for self gratification, on and on and on. Now, Joe, how did you get to be that person? Look at your past, look at your root system. Look at all those pieces. Man, that makes a whole lot of sense. That makes a whole lot of sense. Now, that's me. If you're hearing that saying, Yeah, but Joel, you don't know. I did this, this and this. You still there is a way out of living in fear, guilt and shame. If you have made really bad decisions. There absolutely. is a way out of that.
Chris LoCurto 28:18
Absolutely. I'll take my 32nd rebuttal. Just to point out I do think it's important for people to understand there is a growing number of supposedly thought leaders that are teaching this in a victim mentality way there and people are aligning with it like crazy. And you see people just destroying relationships and all kinds of things because they're hearing these victim mentality messages and going that's right. I am a colossal victim. I'm going to do things my way from now on. That is not we would never condone that. And that is not what we're saying. We're saying take the responsibility. And as Joel said, there's so much freedom.
Brian A 29:09
Yeah, excellent. All right, well, coming up next, the third rule you need to follow in order to leave your past behind you.
Chris LoCurto 29:20
Folks, if you've been listening to me for any length of time, then you know the number one issue when it comes to business, when it comes to family, when it comes to friendships, is having a lack of high quality communication, to make sure that you are absolutely winning in every aspect of your life. It all starts with having great communication. The best way to get that communication is to understand your personality style and to understand the personality style of the folks that you're spending the most time with, whether it be at work, whether it be at home, the best way to do that is to go to Chrislocurto.com/store and get your personality profile file and personality profiles for your team to de get it for your family members. Today, as you go through that profile, you will begin to see the greatest ways to communicate, go to Chrislocurto.com/store today.
Brian A 30:18
And we're back rule number three is determine how this experience in your past has made you better. Here's the rationale, you can't change the past, but you can change the future by changing your decisions. Now time is progressive, it keeps moving forward, and we have to keep up by moving to So is it true or not? Rule number three, determine how this experience has made you better.
Joel Fortner 30:49
Yeah, I would say it's all about your mindset. It's all about how you look at the thing. It's can it also, there are some things that the sovereignty of God is fully at play. When we look back and see even things that we have done decisions we've made, things that have happened to us. And we see it in isolation, we see it at that moment in time that we're experiencing something when we get hindsight. And we can look back, just like you can look in your Bible and look back and see some of the the greats, if you will, that are like Man, look at that person. What a terrible decision that person made back there. That was a that actually was a super righteous and amazing person. But you can look and see and look at some of the decisions and look at what played out as a result of that decision. Because God is sovereign. He is leveraging in working out of redemptive plan. He's a restore. And he's doing it because it's what he chooses to do because it's who he is. So we can never discount that when we're going through. So. So where does the what does it teach me today? It teaches me that now, any point in time, I may be going through something or someone may be going through something difficult. And it teaches me look for God. Look for what's happening here. Look for where this is going. Don't look at it in a vacuum, don't look at it in isolation, because you don't know how God may be doing something right now. And then it's like you have a job. It's super difficult, and it's hard. And it's a struggle. Well, if you're a believer, where do we not see that in the Bible? Where do we not see that? Where do we not where do we not see God sparing? You know, quote, unquote, good people from really difficult things, because it's a part of what he's going he's orchestrating. It's a part of his plan. But this comes back to faith. It comes back to do we trust God, in the difficult moments in our life? Do we trust that man, he may be using this or he's going to teach me something? Or he may bless somebody else. And we use this as we're walking through things like struggles, that it may be hard. I mean, I've got hard struggle, stressful things going on in my personal life right now. But I have been taught, look and see, where is God? Where is he? What is he doing? Joe? What is he showing you about yourself? What is he draw it and put applying or allowing you to go through pressure or stress, because it's drawing stuff out to the surface, that you need to work through that you need to process through that you need prayer on that you need to focus on your own self management, because I'm allowing you to go through something that's even more difficult or a new difficulty. And I'm trying to train you up, and where I'm trying to take you in your life and then we see those experiences. And then we may open up our Bible and see how difficult things creates character. How difficult things creates perseverance for in that I go now to well, for what? And to me, it's now not a oh my gosh, what's going to happen I go to what God is preparing me for things that are probably going to be even more challenging in the future. And that really provides me hope and comfort.
Chris LoCurto 34:23
Joel, I disagree with you. On none of that.
Brian A 34:28
That was baited bated breath, waiting waiting for that. Nothing. Ah ha ha oh unsatisfying.
Chris LoCurto 34:40
I think you know, something that we don't spend enough time thinking through as, as Christians, for those of us that are believers is that God is in a continuous process of sanctifying us in other words, he is perfecting us. We aren't going to be perfect today. It's a process that he's working on to live. So what we would say here is that Satan is your greatest cheerleader until you do the thing he's cheering you on to do and then he becomes your greatest condemn or right. He would love for us to live in that shame of the past. Again, this is not saying we don't take responsibility. It's not saying that at all. It's just saying, we understand that, you know, the, the the world we live in, and the sin that's in it, and that God's perfecting us to be obedient to Him and live a more righteous life through through Jesus, the my former pet when I was in traditional ministry back in the 90s, the pastor that I was under he, he just passed away. Amazing, amazing man. And I'll never forget his son Mike once talked about how he would always look at situations with his boys. So have fun. LH Hardwick brother, Hardwick with his two sons, Mike and Steve. He would always look at a situation that happened with somebody, and he would turn to the boys and he would say, boys, did that situation make that person better? Or did it make them better? And that is something that they held on to and continue on positive to this day to still look at situations and go, is that making that person better? Is it making it better? Also looking at themselves and asking themselves that same question, did this situation make me better? Did it make me better? With the understanding that we must take responsibility, even if we discover something 20 years later, and we can take that responsibility? Do it, try and do it? It's the spirit of it, right? How can I set things right? How can I set things straight? The question we need to ask ourselves is, did I become better because of that situation that decision, that event? Or did I become a worse version of myself, which would, if we do a really good introspective job, and a lot of people don't like to be introspective, it's something I happen to. I've spent my life doing of trying to figure things out and understand me, people, God, all that kind of fun stuff. If we spent a little bit of time introspectively, looking at the situations, the decisions that made us better, and really looking at the situations and decisions that made us worse version of ourselves. What would we do about both? If we could see what's made us better when we try to, you know, press the gas pedal on those types of decisions and, and really hone in creative perspective and learn how to make more of those quality decisions. You know, it's like, we talked about what the root system you know, if I understand why I'm making the decisions I'm making that I can change the bad ones and, and really, you know, kick in the good ones. But if I can see the decisions, and I'm not afraid to look at them, but the one of the things, what do we walk through? So you know, some folks will walk through some bad decisions about experiences. They're like, oh, I want to look at it tomorrow. No. It's not a matter of living in it. It's a matter of the perspective about it. How did I do? How did this impact my life? How do they impact me? How do they impact my family? My friends, how did it impact my finances, my physical being my social life, my relationship with God? If I can look at that and go, Okay, here's what I see the impact was, now I can make different decisions going forward, right? That was bad. That was my choice. That wasn't my choice. I did that it was something that happened. And unfortunately, it affected me whatever. And again, try to remove victim mentality as much as possible. Then by having that perspective, I can choose a different path, a different decision, you know, a way to bring in healthier decisions into the process.
Brian A 39:26
Yep. All right. Any rebuttal final comments from the peanut gallery? No. Okay.
Joel Fortner 39:33
Yeah, that was that was all junk.
Brian A 39:38
Let's spend the next 45 minutes dissecting No, I know I think I think we've helped some people learn how to leave their past behind Chris. Okay, good to you to wrap this up.
Chris LoCurto 39:48
Well, don't leave us behind. We want you to take this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and join us on the next episode.