𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙗𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚?
𝙒𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙗𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙤𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣?
𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙝 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩?
Some people would just love to start over, probably hoping to make fewer mistakes this time around. You know what I mean, maybe run into Mrs. Right this time, or perhaps avoid Mr. Wrong. Turn down that job offer, wait for the next one. Sometimes making mistakes (and living with the result) is really painful and you’d like a do over.
So, what’s the problem? A lot of people need help getting out of the rut that they’re in. Whether you’re feeling stuck in a rut or just blah about your future or present circumstance it’s never too late to begin again.
Maybe they need to learn how to make better decisions, think differently about their past mistakes, or even find the courage to begin again. It’s not easy!
Today, we discuss three rules for making a fresh start. Are you ready to begin again? Join us on this fresh episode!
474 | Three Rules For Making A Fresh Start
Brian A 0:00
Learning the best way to make a fresh start after a major life change that's coming up next.
Chris LoCurto 0:16
Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are. Welcome to the show folks. Hope you're having a fabulous day where you are. I am joined by one Sicilian. Well, actually, I'm Sicilian, too. So there's two of us to say no one's actually in Sicily. And one for that, Joel. Joel. I don't even know what...
Joel Fortner 0:48
I don't even have a I don't even have a state or a country or anything. One, one Knox County in from East Tennessee.
Brian A 1:02
Reminds me of Tom Hanks and an airport for some reason.
Brian A 1:11
This country, okay.
Chris LoCurto 1:13
Oh my goodness, that is awesome. So we are doing another three rules episode, which you guys have just loved this. And we have loved it too. This is This is fun. For us. Brian's goal is always one thing. It's not really actually getting you guys quality information. It's for Joel and I to disagree. He's looking for that disagreement at some point.
Brian A 1:33
Fight, fight, fight. First rule of fight club.
Chris LoCurto 1:43
So Brian, why don't you take it away and explain what we're doing today?
Brian A 1:47
Yeah, okay. Well, we're back to we're back to three rules. And you know, for those who haven't, haven't heard this before, or heard one of these episodes, I'm gonna read a rule and its associated rationale. And then one of you guys will kind of kick it off with an immediate reaction. Maybe you love it, maybe you hate it, maybe you'll want to modify it to fit your perspective or experience and the other person kind of ways in agreeing disagree. Just remember, the more disagreement, the more entertaining and hopefully informative. And so the point is that the listener hopefully takes away from all of the ideation and deliberation that goes in each point, a greater perspective. And so what I'm going to do right now is I'm just going to set up the context and do a little explanation. We'll go into some comments, and then we'll break we'll come back from the break and get into the first rule. So today's topic is three rules for making a fresh start.
Chris LoCurto 2:50
Sorry, I all I could think about is all I could think about his job being physic right. If we actually did one of these episodes, land war with
Joel Fortner 3:05
the seni. vicini, Ryan? So I'd be Fezzik Brian would be the CD,
Brian A 3:12
Andre the Giant No.
Chris LoCurto 3:16
Big guy. Obviously, for all who are listening, they're gonna What the crap just happened. We're quoting Princess Bride, we're doing a really bad
Brian A 3:24
day all day today. I mean, I started it on on our team meeting this morning. With Africa
Joel Fortner 3:31
I would be meant to mentor you, I would be enablement for sure.
Chris LoCurto 3:35
Because obviously, I couldn't choose the cup that's in front of you.
Brian A 3:41
This has zero value.
Joel Fortner 3:46
Hopefully it's entertaining though, for you.
Brian A 3:50
Entertainment value. All right.
Chris LoCurto 3:51
So all three listeners right there.
Brian A 3:53
Let's try to let's try to redeem ourselves a little bit here. Let's get into the subject matter. Okay, so we're talking about making a fresh start. We need a fresh start right now. Let's make a fresh start. Okay, how do we do that? That is the topic.
Brian A 4:06
So three roles. Alright, so here, here's the deal. A lot of people feel like they need a fresh start in life, especially after a major failure, a major life change, a disruption to the course that they're on. I mean, folks familiar with the phrase dark night of the soul will appreciate this that, you know, in counseling circles, it's suggested that the average adult in their lifetime will go through five to seven dark nights of the soul in their lifetime. What are we talking about? We're talking about major life events, divorce, bankruptcy, loss of a loved one loss of a job or career lawsuits, imprisonment even every time the applecart turns over. There's a complete change in our way of life the way that we do things, especially after we've been unsuccessful in life. If and so let's just talk about that for a second. How, you know, scratching the surface here. But the life change that we're talking about is something that we deal with a lot in Next-Level Life, isn't it?
Chris LoCurto 5:14
Yeah. It's funny, as you're talking through that some of the things that you mentioned, are big. And you know, Brian, having been in prison yourself, you could probably speak
Brian A 5:35
I'm in a different country, trying to escape.
Chris LoCurto 5:40
There's no extradition from Sicily to America. So
Brian A 5:43
I won't tell you how many of those things I can mark off. But but it is not one of them yet.
Chris LoCurto 5:49
Yet. I think the thing is, is that gosh, so I want to be the things that you threw out, they're all pretty darn big things, right? Those are dark nights. Those are difficult things. Those are tough things that we experience. So I want to as we go through this, I want to make sure that we're not combining this with crazy victim mentality of, you know, I didn't get a BMW when I was 16. But my older sister did. And so therefore, it's a dark night of my soul.
Brian A 6:24
I got stuck with a Volvo.
Chris LoCurto 6:25
I get right. Yeah, I think the thing that we need to do is we need to say, we're not talking about crazy victim mentality. I mean, I'm assuming I assume that's where you're going. We're talking about, you know, legitimate, deep, painful, difficult things to process to experience there. Do we see that a Next-Level Life all the time? Is it every event? No, we have folks that come to you that have never had a dark night in their soul, right that have never had difficult times, they just want better. They want to, they want to live their life better. They want to make better decisions. But then we have all so we have from the pain, nothing bad's really ever happened all the way to the good night. This has been such a difficult life. And so many things that are loaded up. So we have all between we've done over 450 events, we gotta get this number down. We got to be getting close to 500 at this point. And we see I would say probably 75%. Plus, we see pretty heavy duty events somewhere in there. Would you agree with that? Joel, would you? Hey, here's your opportunity to disagree. Is that 75 Plus or less?
Joel Fortner 7:34
No, I disagree. It's 74.
Chris LoCurto 7:36
There you go. There it is.
Joel Fortner 7:38
There's 74%. I have tracked that.
Chris LoCurto 7:41
Okay. So yes, the answer is a very long answer, Brian, but yes, is the answer.
Brian A 7:46
Yes. All right. So coming up next, the rules that you need to follow in order to successfully make a fresh start, right after this. Freedom,
Unknown Speaker 8:00
it's so powerful, I felt rejuvenated, almost
Speaker 2 8:03
renewed, I just felt so welcomed and loved and accepted for who I am, and not an ounce of judgment. So I was very comfortable there that had a really big impact on me, that's going to be worth it. It's going to be hard. But it's going to be even better. On the other side.
Unknown Speaker 8:21
For me, it was just, it was just very refreshing. And I'm gonna say lifegiving. For me, it really was,
Speaker 2 8:27
you know, I would go to the next level life again, and probably again, and probably again, because it's so powerful.
Chris LoCurto 8:35
I want you to ask yourself a question. Could you hear the sense of hope and freedom and their voice is just that I want you to know, that could be you. Look, it's easy to get trapped in old habits, negative thought patterns and unhealthy relationships. It's gonna take some work. But yes, there is hope for you. If you want to experience the same kind of life transformation, this same kind of self awareness and freedom that they have. Or maybe you're just curious what the process would look like for you, then head on over to Chrislocurto.com/nextlevellife.
Brian A 9:13
Right, welcome back, folks. Here's how we play. I'm going to read a rule associated rationale will have hopefully, some very entertaining disagreement. We haven't had that yet. I keep waiting for it.
Chris LoCurto 9:27
We haven't had entertaining disagreement or just disagreement because
Brian A 9:32
I refuse to comment. But hopefully we're leading people to greater perspective. That's the point here. So let's jump in the rules for making a fresh start. All of us need that at some point in our lives. How do we do it? Here we go.
Brian A 9:46
Rule number one, feel free to disagree and push back. The more the merrier.
Brian A 9:51
Rule number one is you've got to make a clean break from your past. Here's the rationale. Look, if you want to go for Word in life, then you've got to cut the anchors holding you back. I mean, after a major life disruption, some people want to linger. Continue wallowing in past failure loss change. And sure, I mean, hey, there is a time for grieving. But there's also a time for moving on to everything. Turn, turn, I'm not gonna sing. There is a season turn, turn. So rule number one, you've got to make a clean break from your past. Yes, no, pass the back. Here you go, Joel, you're up!
Joel Fortner 10:32
No, I, I don't agree with the rule. First of all, I think it's nearly impossible to make a clean break from your past when you look at it from a root system perspective. If you're new to listening to this show, think about all the influence that you've allowed in that has shaped you the events and circumstances you've been through that have shaped you. We don't make clean breaks necessarily, even when we pendulum swing, because it's like, I will never go through that again. I'll never repeat that, again, stuff comes with you, or our decision making processes come with us. So it's like, it's not only hard to make a clean break, you also don't have to make a clean break. Because if you make a clean break, like in my mind, that means I'm moving on I forgetting it, or I'm going to shove it under the rug and it's going to stay there buried. Rather than how is this shaped me? How do I learn from that? What has it taught me? How is it now shaped me maybe even in negative ways that I don't even realize that have impacted me or impacted my emotions are impacted me in ways that now my responses are coming out as more controlling or less controlling, or now I'm more passive as a result of this thing I went through, or now I'm a massive people pleaser. And then we never learned to make the connections between all of those super difficult things we go through. And now how it's impacting us, and how we're now relating to other people, or now we're shifting our life in this direction. And because I'll never do that, again. I'm going to, you know, move to Sicily, and only do video calls. And, you know, can extradite me. Just really just really, you know, you just goofy things like that, instead of just staying here and hanging out with your friends. I mean, but you know, I'm not judging anyone if anyone's hearing that you're just not hearing me, right.
Brian A 12:43
I'm not receiving judgment at all over Yeah.
Chris LoCurto 12:48
I hope you receive judgment for you on that one.
Joel Fortner 12:52
Thank you. Yep. Even the Knox County and receive judgment, and I'm the one who dish it out. So that's that those are my initial disagree comments to the rule. I am disagreeing to the rule. So funny.
Chris LoCurto 13:08
Because as you read this off, Brian, I said to myself, this may have the ability for Joel and I to have the first disagreement. And nope, he wasn't exactly, you know, it had the ability, it had the ability, like I was like, if you went with it, that I was gonna come and go, I disagree. And of course, phenomenal answer. I think the key here is the concept of a clean break, which Joel pushed on many times, right? When we say clean break, when we when people talk about a clean break, it is that it just think of that knife coming down and slashing your past from your present. That is a horrid way to handle a situation. Now I'm not saying there isn't times that you must remove yourself completely. From a situation I totally believe there are times that we talked about some people that are in such bad relationships, such bad situations, that they must remove themselves from the situation, right? Because it is toxic and unhealthy. And to stay there just continues to make them toxic and unhealthy. So there is a removal. There's no such thing as a clean break. You don't get rid of it. You don't lose it, you don't forget about it, you don't stop experiencing it, right. In fact, what we see over and over and over again, in every single person's life that comes to Next-Level Life is so much of what's happened in the past is actually helping, especially if they're allowing God to do it to shape who they are going forward. Right. So to clean break from the situations in my past I have I have some crappy situations in my past, right? There's so many things that I experienced that allow me to be able to teach people because of some bad things. things that have happened and some bad decisions I've made as well, right? It's not, you know, not everything has happened to me. I've put myself in situations for bad things to happen and people to treat me bad ways. But then I've done the same thing. I've treated people bad ways, right? So the key to understand is, is that if you just cut it off, it's the it's the idea that I've been able to remove the situation from my life that does not exist. How do we know that as people who do this for a living, we see it in your surface level responses, we sit in your lies, the lies that you tell yourself, and the decisions that you make, we can see that those are still being based on something that has happened in the past that you've not gotten through. So instead of having a clear cut, which clean cut, which just doesn't exist, there is no cleanliness, to cutting out the past. What we do is not I, we praise God that there are counselors out there, people have counselors to talk to, we love it when counselors come through next level life because every time they're like, Man, I wish I could do this. Instead of learning how to deal with learning how to cope with we help people to get to the why, why does this exist? And here's the reason why when you deal with something, you cope with something, you don't necessarily get rid of it. When you learn why it exists, then you can make different decisions going forward. So instead of making a clean cut, instead, what we do is help somebody to go, let me understand the situation, not relive it, not go through it like it was yesterday. Let me understand it better, so that I can make better decisions going forward.
Brian A 16:40
All right, great. And that takes us to rule number two, which really is a great segue into what you were just talking about, about making better decisions going forward.
Brian A 16:51
Rule number two is this, take that first, next step forward, going forward in the direction you want to go here, here's the rationale. Maybe you've, you've gone through that transition, you know that you can't make a clean break completely from the past. You've learned from those mistakes, you're ready to make different decisions, but you're feeling stuck. And stagnation is just going to kill the desire and the motivation to move forward. So determine the direction you want to go and take a step maybe that starts with a personal mission statement. Determining a new career path relationship goal, what have you, but Rule number two, take the first next step. What do you think?
Chris LoCurto 17:33
With the rule, I I totally agree. You do need to take the first next step. I completely agree with that concept. The one thing I would push back on is determining which way you want to go. Here's the reason why. Many people will self-sabotage with that first next step. I've seen people come out of bad relationships, bad situations, bad religions. And their next step becomes like Joel pointed out that pendulum swing so far away, so they're unhealthy where they are. And instead of swinging to healthy, they pendulum swing right past it to unhealthy on a different direction, different version. You know, Brian, there's people you and I know in our past that came out of a bad religion that just went ballistic the opposite direction and started making really bad decisions coming from a different direction, right? There's things like that, that I want to make sure that the the next step is the healthiest. Next step you can make now for me what I would highly suggest highly, highly, highly, highly suggest. Do what you can to find somebody who appears now appears isn't good enough, where you can see the health in their life. You know, one of the things that we say in Christianity is if you can't see the fruits of the Spirit, then they're not being led by the Spirit. Right? So if you don't have somebody who's operating in a very healthy way, this is not the person to go to for that next step, right. But if you can find somebody who is not trying to take you down, not trying to control manipulate, you not try to tell you that you're horrible person, not making really bad decisions in their lives, you know, don't go find that person. You know, who's living that free life by making really bad decisions with partying and alcohol and whatever and you know, you know, not having any good care concern for the life. If you can find somebody who is healthy, the healthiest person you can find and start digging into what would make me healthy or what are those next steps? Right. So for me, that's what I would I would point to I'd be very cautious on a lot of the books and stuff that's out there nowadays. A lot anybody can put a book out there on what your next step should be. And unfortunately, so many thought leaders or post suppose it thought leaders are publishing stuff on becoming incredibly selfish and self centered. So I'd be very cautious about that. Look for health.
Joel Fortner 20:17
Yeah, I would agree with him. I would agree with those things that Chris is saying. The next sometimes when we take the next step, the next step is is to surface level, especially for coming from super difficult things. We need to realize, especially if we've gone through things that have have created pain, brokenness, and some way that we acknowledge what those wounds are, we acknowledge that we are not as healthy coming out of it. So we we don't need to need to often go read a book, we need to actually get deeper help. And we need some restoration. And we need some perspective on where am i right now? How did I get to where I was, in my life anyway? How did I get to where that terrible thing happened? What do I need to learn about how I make decisions? That's very in the shadows, if you will. Because often, we are so trained as people, and we make our decisions. And we don't have great perspective on how we make decisions, because we're not really digging into well, why, why and why. And really having clarity as to the why and those layers of why. Because we often miss what are we seeking? And what are we going after? That seems good? And seems right. But turns out it's not. It is creating self sabotage, Chris, to your point. And we've got it's better to go after health because we're operating at a deeper level rather than staying at just the surface level solution.
Brian A 21:57
All right, thanks, guys, for that coming up. Next, the third rule you need to follow in order to leave your past behind you. That's up next.
Chris LoCurto 22:10
Folks, if you've been listening to me for any length of time, then you know the number one issue when it comes to business, when it comes to family, when it comes to friendships, is having a lack of high quality communication, to make sure that you are absolutely winning in every aspect of your life, it all starts with having great communication, the best way to get that communication is to understand your personality style. And to understand the personality style of the folks that you're spending the most time with, whether it be at work or whether it be at home, the best way to do that is to go to Chrislocurto.com/store. And get your personality profile and personality profiles for your team to day, get it for your family members. Today. As you go through that profile, you will begin to see the greatest ways to communicate, go to Chrislocurto.com/store today.
Brian A 23:08
Alright, welcome back, guys, we have two rules under the belt, so to speak. Here we go with the third. Let's let's assume for the moment that we have this new direction, and we've established where we're going, that the hits keep coming, the hits. He's kind of coming and so we know where we're going.
Brian A 23:30
And so here's rule number three. Let's see if we can get at least any measure of agreement. I you know, as I've been writing these, I've been trying to imagine where the conversation would go and hopefully we're getting a little bit more art in the craft here. Because I'm getting more pushback, and this is what I'm after. But I'm wanting to see some disagreement. Okay. Wishful thinking. But rule number three, here we go. Number three is don't look back. So rehearsing past mistakes, longing for the good old days, et cetera, we're just going to get you in trouble. The image that comes to mind is a little bit like Lot's wife, as they're fleeing. And, you know, they're getting away from one situation they're going towards their future. And the admonition is Don't look back. What do you guys think? Rule number three. I'll start I asked potential. It's like potential.
Joel Fortner 24:34
Let's see it has. It has it has it depends on what what what kind of looking back are you doing?
Chris LoCurto 24:44
If it's the potential there we go.
Joel Fortner 24:46
If it has the Don't look back, because you're trying to make the clean cut. We've already hopefully debunked that with our you know, see previous conversation. But if you're looking back. If you're looking back to actually do the other things we talked about see previous conversation, then you're gonna do much better in your life. They're their desk. They're just if you're looking back, and you're just in your living in self loathing, and oh, I wish it was that way now. So you're now living in what regret, you're now living in anger, you're now living in bitterness, or sadness or resentment or victim mentality. Where does that get anybody nowhere? Those are the surface level responses, we have to understand where that stuff is coming from within, and deal with those things so we can move forward, because right now I would be the person that's living, you know, like Uncle Rico and Napoleon Dynamite of the globe looking for the glory days of being the quarterback and trying to throw the football 9 million miles and thinks he can still do it. It's like Rico, we need to move on. And it's it's all a matter of how we're looking back. Get rid of the Caribbean man leave. You know, just all that. And let's move forward in life here. But yeah, yes,
Brian A 26:17
don't look back.
Chris LoCurto 26:19
So yeah, exactly what Joel said. So one of the mistakes that people make, like when when we go through, again, I'm gonna point to Next-Level Life, one of the things that we we discover is these bad decisions that we all make. Every single person makes what we call surface level responses. There's, there's decisions that they're making, they're not the best. They're not pointing towards their, you know, true, authentic self, and it's not helping their worth. And it's self sabotage. And there's a bunch of lies that we tell Joel, all these things are happening, right. So when we discover where those come from, sometimes people immediately go, oh, I don't want to see that anymore. You know, like, at the end, we send people, you know, home with their sheets that they want them, we take pictures, we do all this kind of stuff as we work through these processes. So they can have an idea. I want everything but those and it's like, no, no, no. This is something you need to see. Why don't like looking back at that. That's the problem. When we don't when we are unwilling to look back, what do we always say about history? Why do we teach history so that we don't repeat the same mistakes? What are we doing in the world right now? Repeating same mistakes on global levels, right? It's just insane, right? So when I can look back at bad situations, bad decisions I've made and take responsibility for them. That's when I can start making better decisions. I'm somebody who learned years ago to say, I am a sinner. I am disgusting. I have done stupid, crazy, painful, filthy, hurtful things to people. And the funny thing is, is as I say that people always have this like shock look on their face as if they've never done anything bad or Cinder, you know, never hurt anybody. The shock is that I'm able to say it out loud. Why? Why do I say it out loud. Because when I got to the place of being able to say it out loud, I stopped trying to hide it to myself, I stopped trying to cover it up to myself, I stopped trying to not look at my past and go, Well, that doesn't exist. I don't do that anymore. That's not a thing. That's not a screw that let's get vulnerable here. If I'm going to fix me and make me better, and this is why I teach what I teach and why we have this business is because I got to a place of going forget that. Get take a hard look at what you've experienced what you've been through the bad decisions you've made the ways that you've hurt people, and stop doing it. Right change, adjust, add some tools, make better decisions, get rid of the lies, quit doing the things that dishonor God, dishonor, man, whatever, right? start focusing on making better decisions. So in the sense of I want to hide from my past don't look back. No, absolutely use it as a tool. What do we always say about failure? Failure is a phenomenal teacher for the person who's willing to put it to work, right? If you will actually take the failure, learn from it and do something with it, then failure is a great teacher. If all you do is hide from failure, then guess what? You are doomed to repeat it. You're going to do it. You're gonna make it happen again. So instead, take a hard look at and go yep, I screwed that up. I failed at something I made a mistake. What do I do and we've got the, you know, at our, at our business, as everybody's heard us say, we have a way of fixing problems that solves probably 95 to 97% of problems. Why? What happened? How did it happen? Why did it happen? How do we fix it? How do we make sure it never happens again? If we follow those five rules, then it's amazing how fast we can get over the mistake, right? We can get over worrying about, oh, I failed, I screwed something up. Forget, that's a waste of time. Can we fix this and move forward and make sure it doesn't happen again? So in that aspect, that's my answer. Now, in the others aspect, which I think is what you're going for.
Chris LoCurto 30:28
Don't live in the past. That is an absolute Yes. That is an absolute I agree. There is a it is a waste to live in the past in either. There's two two major ways we do this. And either self sabotage oh my gosh, look at what I did. Now. You know, I'm a believer, I am fully aware that there is an enemy who wants to steal, kill and destroy us. He's out there wanting us to live in the mistakes of our past because what happens to us it draw a drag this right back down into these bad places where we are self loathe self sabotage, make bad decisions. If you're going to look at your past and beat yourself up, it's a waste of time. Look at your past, learn from it, fix it move forward. But what is what are we as humans tend to do? We love to hold people to their past mistakes. Oh, Joel, you remember seven years ago? You did this? Oh, Brian, you remember nine years ago? You did this? And we well, I don't know if I trust you yet. Because here's what's in your past. Oh, for the love, freaking get honest with yourself and admit that you have done stupid. When you show it talks to the the men that brought the woman out caught in adultery. And he says to them, Hey, you know, whoever you have not sin. Chuck, that first stone who drops the stones first? The old guys, what's going through the mind of the old guy? Oh my gosh, I've been in her situation so many times, I should be stoned. For all the bad crap that I've ever done. Everything that I've done, screw this. I can't throw stones. They dropped their stones. When you think and all the way down to the young guys. It takes the young guys a while before they start dropping their stones right? Because what are they thinking? Aren't we supposed to stoner look at the wrong thing she's done. The more mature you get, the more life you get under you, the more you look back at your life, you can say, Who am I to judge anybody who might have cast a stone, right? So if we can get past people trying to hold our past to us, and here's the thing, you may have done something incredibly stupid. But if you've repented and you're moving in the other direction, you keep moving, no matter how difficult that is for somebody else to get over that. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. You keep moving forward, you focus on God, you get better, you make better decisions. The other way that I feel like is a colossal mistake. And I have done this 17 billion times myself is when we look on our past with glorification. I can't tell you how many people I love dearly, that will look back at the past terrible mistakes, bad mistakes, bad decisions, and talk about them in a glorification glorifying light. Oh my gosh, remember when that happened? Oh, I remember when I did this, I'll remember and it's like, there's nothing you're talking about. That's good. There's nothing that you're talking about. That's all it's just, we're just laughing at it now. And I'm not talking about doing silly stupid stuff. You know, you. You know, I don't know you fell off a tree swing once and hurt yourself. I'm talking about sinful stuff. Hurtful stuff, bad decision making, right? And glorifying those times. And I think that's another thing where that is a big mistake is to look back at the past. And remember when we stole that car, and you know, we did this crazy thing. Man, there's there's no glory, don't glorify that. Move away from that. You didn't help somebody in that time that that's you hurt somebody. Right? You caused somebody damage somehow. So for me, that's the way when I wouldn't say looking back at the past, I think we should totally look back to learn and grow absent thinking lately, but do not live in the past. There you go.
Brian A 34:25
Long I love it. So let me just try to sum up because we've had some revisions to our rules. Finally, finally, in this series, we had some some revisions here. I'm going to sum up and then we'll take final comments and we'll wrap up for today. So the first rule was about a clean break. Well, that really doesn't happen. I mean, we are messy creatures with messy lives. We take a lot of our baggage with us. And the idea here is about learning from those things and not repeating them. And rule number two was about taking a first next step. Well The clarification here is about making sure it's a healthy step in a direction of health and growth. And that brings us to number three about not looking back, we don't look back to glorify our past, especially sinful mistakes, but we shouldn't look back to learn from those failures. And again, to be moving to a place of greater health and growth. With that said, Any final comments about how to make a fresh start?
Chris LoCurto 35:35
Did you just start a whole new podcast? I think with what you just summarized, recognize that a fresh new start. You know, we as believers, we talk about repentance, what is it's a militaristic term that means to turn and go the opposite direction, don't be going in the direction you were a fresh new start requires getting away from the things that caused you to be in the place that you were in, in the first place, Joe?
Joel Fortner 36:07
Yeah, I think my my final comment is just the is when he's looking back at your past, in a way that not only just teaches you, but were you even from a believer standpoint, where we look and see where is God? Where do you see him in your life? Where do you see him moving in your life? Or do you see him moving in other people's lives in the circumstances that are in your past? How God uses struggle and difficulty to teach us and grow us there are so many things that he may bring us into, that are tough, or May, there may be things that we bring ourselves into, that are tough and difficult, but praise the sovereign God who may not ever want us to be in certain situations. But who has love and grace and power, that he's able to leverage and take something that he'd rather Chris, Brian or Joel have not walked themselves into. But now he uses it as a loving father to craft and mold and refine us to move forward in our life as changed people. So there's still a lot of benefit when we look back in this whole learning. We've talked a lot today about what what how we can look back and see things and then what can we do to springboard and ways forward. But it's so important to look back and look for God.
Brian A 37:40
Yep, I love it. It's a beautiful metaphor to to end the thought with of this ongoing process of refinement. There may not be a clean, fresh break from our past, but there is certainly a process of continually being renewed, to be refined in the fire to come out better and better and more reflecting of his and talking about God's glory and image. Chris, final thought,
Chris LoCurto 38:12
I think, just wanted to jump in there. I had to I had to raise my my hand here. When we talk about the sanctification process, I think so many times we do not understand. Because again, in a western belief system, we talk about that everything's already done. You don't have to worry about anything. The process of sanctification is that purifying process, it doesn't stop. God's constantly turning us into who he wants us to be. We didn't get finished. When we heard about your shoe, and we received salvation. Right? That that was the beginning of the process. God is always turning us into His perfecting us. Will we be perfect on this side of the next life? No, of course not, of course. But he's working on it. Right. He's moving us in that direction. I think that's an important thing. You know, I love that you guys have just talked through this. It's important for us to recognize we are not done do not expect to be exactly where you could be or where you should be. Follow the process. Enjoy the journey. Be curious about what God is going to do. And really find pleasure in the discovery of becoming sanctified and becoming who he wants you to be.
Brian A 39:34
Well, folks, that's all the time we have for today. I hope this information has helped you as always, take what we've said change your leadership, change your business, change your life and join us on the next episode.