Most people have at least some kind of an emotional connection to money.
Whether conscious or not, there’s usually a tether that extends from our hearts to our bank accounts. We’re talking about accumulating wealth, or maybe our struggle to do so.
Can you even remember a time when the “green stuff” didn’t give you good vibes of some kind?
Well, there are plenty of reasons why we resonate with wealth. It’s rooted in our Root System, how we were taught about money growing up, and what we think it says about us today.
Untying unhealthy emotions about money can be a little complicated. We are emotional creatures, after all, and we tend to spend both our money and time based on how we feel.
But, the fact is that unhealthy emotions could be the very things holding us back from making sound financial decisions – both for today and for tomorrow.
In this episode, we’re going to peel back the layers of what really motivates our decision-making, so we can see the connection between our self-worth and our wealth.
Enjoy today’s episode!
Chris LoCurto 0:00
Untethering from the unhealthy emotions that are holding you back from making sound financial decisions that are coming up next.
Well, welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are. Welcome to the show, folks, I hope you're having a fabulous day, wherever you are. We talked earlier this year about money and more specifically how money like your time has to be mastered and invested wisely. Now you have to employ them and put them to work for you. So episode 511 mastering time and money that was done in February is something you want to go and listen to. Now today, we want to take a look at how money can tug at our heartstrings.
And there's a deep-rooted connection for a lot of people here. And I completely understand that we are emotional creatures, and we tend to spend both our money and our time based on how we feel. Think about that for a moment. Is that true for you? Do you spend your money according to how you feel? Are you an emotional spender? Are you somebody who is always looking for using money to quote-unquote, better your life or your feelings, right? When it comes to time, we all have the same amount of time, but we tend to spend it in different ways based on our values. And unfortunately, based on our mood, it's the same with our money, our emotions, our mood, and our feelings can get in the way of mastering our money. This is deep-rooted, and it goes way back to our upbringing. You know, it doesn't matter whether you grew up with a lot or a little, we're conditioned to be emotional, if you grew up with nothing, then while it can become the goal, so that you're finally worth something right, your worth will be so tight that I can absolutely relate to this. In my early years.
There were many, many years where we were struggling immensely for money and with no electricity and jacked up and you know, government cheese and, and churches dropping food off on the porch, which caused me to bust my butt for people to say, you know that people can't make it that other people are privileged because of what they've got, let me tell you as somebody who came from not only zero but a negative, you know, somebody who came from literally, there were times I was washing my clothes on the front porch as a kid, you know, trying to take care of me, right? And go to work working three jobs and going to school at night. I mean, listen, bust your butt, you can make it happen. Because of my situation of how I grew up. Unfortunately, money meant a lot to me. And it took, you know, after making money and doing great. It took God smacking me upside the head and saying, Listen, what if I took all this away? What if it was all gone? And for me, it was a moment of, yeah, Lord, I mean, I would just go make more money. I can do this, I can, you know, I've proven that I can go make something happen. But what God was trying to show me is how much value my money had in my life. And praise God, he helped me to see that he's my value. Money is a tool. Money is a tool, as Elon Musk said, you know, money is just information. It's just information that gets transferred.
So if you grew up with nothing, then many times money can be your worth. If you grew up with something, you know, maybe you had some money, some stuff, some things and it can become the thing that distinguishes you from everybody else. Keeping Up with the Joneses, maybe you look different than your neighbors, maybe the goal is to constantly you know, as Dave Ramsey says, go into debt and buy things you don't need to impress people you don't like. Right? That's quite often if you grew up with everything, maybe everything was handed to you, you got everything, maintaining your status, maintaining your net worth, is your focus. Maybe protecting the kingdom you built is your full-time occupation. Now, these are just, you know, possibilities. Maybe this is where you come from. They tend to be common. Maybe you don't experience that maybe you came with a lot and you don't care. It all depends on where you come from right now. The point is whether people have got it all, or they've got nothing at all, money tends to be an emotional thing. Now money itself is not emotional money is amoral, right? Maybe a better way to say it is that we, as people get emotional about our finances, it's tied to our hierarchy of needs, if you will, things like, you know, safety and security.
The problem is, is that it quickly turns into status, we often and wrongly connect our substance, our resources, and our assets, to our self-worth, not only our net worth but to our self-worth, the value of things around us. And what our bank statement says, tends to manipulate our value. Think about that for a second. Because from there, it's downhill, money becomes an emotional comfort or, for some people with discomfort depending upon where you are, to our personal worth, our emotions can actually begin to manipulate our spending, and then a vicious cycle gets created. If you're an emotional spender, then you have to recognize how much money is tied to your worth. Now, again, I can tell you, having grown up with not much at all, when I got older, gaining as much money as I possibly could was super important. stuff has never really been that important to me. You know, gaining stuff hasn't been a big priority. I'm not big on stuff, I like stuff, and I enjoy stuff. But if it's, you know, if it's not something I can use, if it's not utility, then it doesn't have a lot of value, right? I enjoy nice things. But truthfully, you know, I've been on both ends of the spectrum, you know, no money in a good amount of money. And I'm really in that utility zone. Right? If I can use it, I like to have it, whatever it is Be Nice work, you know, operate? Well, that's great. But really, my focus, having gone from both ends and being smacked around by God, my focus is more on what can I do with it. How can I use it, right? It doesn't mean, you know, I've gotten to this great place with God of going, he's me, he's my comfort, he's in control of everything. If he wants it all gone, he's gonna take it, it'll be gone. It doesn't matter. I can't protect it. You know, I think we, I don't think I know for a fact, so many folks get in this place of thinking that they can protect themselves with plenty of money. If God is not wanting you to have it, it doesn't matter how much you make, he will take it away, and you will be surprised at how fast it goes. Right? So being in a place of recognizing He is your provider of everything is colossally important, right?
So let's, let's just keep that in mind, if you do not understand, he is life. He is a provider, he is providing. He's the one who allows you to have what you have. And many times he's the one who gives you what you have. If we do not understand that and have that as a foundation, then we will tend to make money, you know, something that we identify with something that our worth is tied to and something that we try and self-protect with. I will make enough money that I can protect myself from any bad situations. You can't, if God wants you to walk through something painful, you're gonna walk through something painful, it just doesn't matter. So, it's been said that money doesn't have a motion, so it'll get up and leave you in a heartbeat. But as emotional beings, we tend to be tethered emotionally to money. So how do we disconnect from our money? That's a great question. That's a question that we all need to be asking and make sure that we are not emotionally handcuffed to our money. So let's get into this. One of the starting places that we refer to most often is acknowledging the reality and the gravity of our situation, no matter what the situation is, right? Today, we just happen to be talking about money. There's something powerful about confessing what's happening. So let me ask you if you've ever been in one of these situations, and maybe you haven't, but these are decently common, you know the first situation is every time I get a paycheck, I go into a panic wondering how I'm going to make ends meet. Second, when I get bills in the mail, I tend to ignore them because I don't want to face the reality man I know way too many people that that's their reality. That's their you know, they don't want to see bills be because in their mind, if they can avoid them, then something is going to read itself. I don't know, another situation, I'm so attached to my bank account that the closer my balance gets to zero, the worse I feel, folks, we are going to have to wake up to the fact that we may be believing some lies about money.
Those lies that get us into ruts, those ruts that become habits for us. And those habits that rule our lives. So here's my question to you, what's ruling you in the area of finances? And before you say, Now I know a bunch of you are relating to this, you can understand it, you get it. But I know there's a bunch of you out there that are saying, Oh, that is not me at all. Chris, I have no emotion to money. Well, I want you to just think about it for a second. Is it possible at all, that you're wrong? Is it possible at all that, you do have an emotional connection to money, you just haven't recognized it yet? So just kind of think through that. Again, a lot of this probably began when you were a kid, and grew out of it in your childhood, you know, some people did, and some people have not. And by the way, if you're a parent, then do your kids a favor and help them master this now. Help them now. To not be emotionally handcuffed to finances, understand, help them to understand the importance of money, right? Help them to understand how to use money, and that it's a tool, but that it is not something to be emotionally handcuffed to go back and listen to episode 515. What your kids need to know about money, just do that. Just help them out, help you out, right? So the first thing is we've got to recognize whether are we lying to ourselves about money. Are we lying to ourselves emotionally? about the importance of money?
The second thing is, is we need to, we need to challenge for change, right? Take a look at the reality of how you feel and how you react to your belief system regarding money and ask yourself, Is this my belief system? My feelings about all this? Is it serving me? Well? Is this helping me to move forward? Or is it not? Challenge your existing thought process and your current paradigm if you want to. To change your trajectory? What does it look like? Right, some of you may need to go through a process like Financial Peace University, I am a huge advocate of Financial Peace University. I have had folks that were multi-gajillion errs, that have gone through Financial Peace University and learned how to handle their finances better. And folks that were really crappy with finances have turned their entire financial life around, right? So I highly suggest it doesn't matter where you are. If you've not been through it, the funny thing is people tend to think, Oh, I can't go through Financial Peace University because then you know, people think I'm broke. Listen, first off, quit worrying about what people think. Second, it's not a program for broke people. It's a program on learning how to handle your finances better. Period. Okay, so it doesn't matter where you are, if you're broke, or if you've got tons of money, right? It's a smart thing to do. Some of you may need to get a book and reorient your thinking. Like Daniel Atkins's book, thou shalt prosper fantastic book, to help you understand and think about finances. Some of you may need to go through an immersive event like Next-Level Life in order to uproot the weeds, the thought weeds that are choking out your fruitfulness. So an important thing is to challenge yourself for change. What can you do to change your current thought processes, your current feelings, your current expectations? How do you get you moving forward?
Number three, face your fears. This next point is huge. It's something that folks rarely do. We put some emphasis on that. People rarely do this. Are you ready? You gotta take action. Create a freaking budget people. For the love. For the love. Create a budget. Yes, I said it. Total throw punch I know. But you've got to get a grip on what comes in and what goes out of your account. This isn't difficult analysis is healthy. You don't have to stay there. You just got to understand it right. Once you've analyzed your situation, then make the changes you need to budget, cut the emotional spending, renew your mind, change your perspective, and get help to face your fear. But what's the problem? Some of you are terrified I'd have a budget because it might show you where you're doing things wrong. Oh, no. Wouldn't it be better to see where you're doing things wrong than to hide from what you're doing things wrong? Some of you are so emotionally enslaved to your money and your spending habits that you're afraid of the budget is going to hurt you.
From what you're being able to do, you're not going to be able to live the life you want to live, folks. If you don't know how you're doing with the money, how do you expect that you're going to keep living the lifestyle that you're living? As long as they don't keep looking at it, Chris, it's going to be okay, no, get in a place where you can live on less than you make, and stay out of debt. And then you could do anything you want to. It is an amazing place to be I love it. When I have clients or family or friends that have gotten debt free. And all the money that they're making is theirs, that they actually put the effort in and got to a place of understanding where they are financially, and then make changes. Because then when they call me up or text me or, you know, send me an email, they're like, Dude, this is what just happened. I just paid off everything yesterday, we are losing our minds, we're so excited. It is such a fantastic place. Because then I help them to understand you now own the very carpet you walk on in your house. No bank owns that. You can take everything that comes in on this next paycheck after covering you know, food and utilities. And go blow it if you wanted to. Don't do it. That's kind of I always tell people to take their first paycheck and blow it because then you realize how stupid it is to just go spend money. It's really powerful after somebody comes completely out of debt, but you can, you can't if you want to. And when people do it after blowing that check. They're like, Well, that was stupid. Now we're going to use the money that we have for something even more fun and more powerful. But here's the deal, you cannot break the chains of your spending habits. You cannot get yourself unhandcuffed emotionally if you do not know where you are.
Examining your spending habits, with a measuring stick of a budget can show you where you're spending in order to be happy, quote, unquote, cut it out, stop it, quit the emotional spending. It's not making you happy. Buying something doesn't make you happy. Nothing can make you happy. Happiness is a choice. So if you've convinced yourself that you can buy happiness, man, oh, man, that just shows me right there that you're not dealing with reality. Why? Because you haven't recognized yet that happiness is a choice and buying something you may be happy for five minutes. But after that, then what? Buy something big enough. I can promise you buyer's remorse is coming not long after that. Suppose that happiness. And by the way, business owners understand this. If you are emotionally handcuffed to your financial situation, then you will be emotionally handcuffed to every business decision that you make. If you are not emotionally handcuffed, how much better decisions can you make? If you are emotionally handcuffed? Guess what? You will make many decisions out of desperation.
So consider these emotionally fueled habits and see where you are on the spectrum. This is kind of an emotional litmus test. One impulse buying Do you experience excitement, anxiety, boredom, from purchases to jealousy you see that new gadget and rush out to get yours? Do you need to keep up with the Joneses? Three fear and anxiety are you being manipulated into hoarding, never taking healthy risks? Whatever your emotional attachment to your finances is, examine it. Number one, acknowledge where you're at. Where you are, where you at, where you at, where are you at financially? Where are you emotionally? Number two, challenge your thinking and your current paradigm. And number three, face your fears by taking positive positive action. Now, let me leave you with this thought a positive action that can help you with money. This action will actually bring healthy emotions to your financial situation. 34 Here we go. express gratitude. Say it, write it. Tell someone to confess it, pray it. express gratitude. Be grateful for what you have right here and now. You're listening to The show, you have the ability to do so be grateful for what you have right here. And right now, be grateful that you're making progress. Be grateful that you have good people in your life. Be grateful for a heavenly Father that loves you.
Be grateful that you can make a change for the better. If you will focus on gratitude, then I promise it will change the way you look at finances. And by far, if you will recognize that God is your supplier. He's the one who blesses you. He's the one who takes away he's the one. You know, he's wanting you to grow closer to Him. And recognize that he provides you with everything. If you will do that, it will change the way you look at every single thing you want. Well, folks, that's all the time we have for today. I hope this information has helped you. I hope this helps you to really adjust the way you look at money. Money is information. It's a tool, right? It helps you to make transactions, but it will never, money can never make you happy. Only you can choose buying something can't make you happy. The funny thing is, when you buy that thing you choose happiness for five minutes, a short period of time, which means that that choice was there all along. So hopefully this helps you today as Oh, take this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life. And join us on the next episode.