Occasional random thought. There are so many times in this life that the hardest thing in the world to do is to be quiet. Even when we’re all by ourselves, the super highway of thoughts never seem to stop. When I get away from the chatter of people, all I hear is the chatter of my own mind going a thousand miles an hour. Being a high D, that’s just how my mind works. Did I make the right decisions today? Was I rude to the cashier at lunch? Why does my dog love me so much? I really need to call my parents! I need to call my Uncle Benito in Italy! I so wish I had a new pair of jeans that fit!! Anyone else feel that way? Especially about the jeans? (I know, it’s a weight thing.)
It’s during these times that I also have a tendency to doubt that everything in my life is going the way I think it should. That I’m doing exactly what I should be doing. I allow things to creep into to my brain that tell me I should be worried, I should panic, I should make some drastic changes. And although I am so not the kind of guy who normally asks God why something is the way it is, but I have done it…once. :-) I still don’t have the much-needed answer on that one thing, but it’s not always for me to know God’s ways. No matter how frustrating, no matter how painful, sometimes He just doesn’t clue me in. Or perhaps, I just don’t get quiet enough to hear the answer. As a dear friend of mine Ron Cook reminded me, God never stops talking to us, we just have to learn what His voice sounds like! The problem, I believe, is sometimes we’re not actually listening.
There is one scripture I have…clung to in times like this. Psalms 62:5, “My soul, wait silently on God alone, for my expectation is from Him.” It took me a long time to figure out what that actually meant, and I’m sure I still only understand part of it. What I have learned is that I have to quiet the craziness that is inside of my head. I need to calm my soul down and allow God to do His thing. Sometimes, in those moments, I’m actually able to hear what He’s trying to say. The things I couldn’t hear over me! If I will trust what Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”, then I can trust that He will show me the answers that I need. That He will make a way for the things that He wants in my life. What’s the worst that could happen? I spend some time focused on Him instead of me, and at least it should be calming to the super highway in my head. And who knows, maybe someday I’ll even get that pair of jeans I want so badly.