From Dysfunctional To Thriving

Here’s a great post by Lily Kreitinger. Lily specializes in helping leadership effectively train team members. Follow Lily at

I was born and raised in a dysfunctional family.

From Dysfunction to Function,

I knew this had greatly impacted my life in more ways than I even realized, and trying to better understand myself, I read the book “Living the Life You Were Meant to Live”.

While it was helpful, something was missing. I was still stuck. I needed more and realized I couldn’t get what I needed on my own.

On April 14, 2014, I took the plunge and started the LifePlan process with my friend and coach Chris LoCurto. To say it has been life-changing is a complete understatement. The two biggest learning outcomes of this experience have been:

1) I was born an raised in a dysfunctional family. I learned this from looking at my root system. (Learn about it here – Understanding Your Root System) One of my biggest discoveries was that my dad was an alcoholic. We never saw it like that and never talked about it in those terms.

My mom was abused emotionally, physically and mentally as a child. They were both adults physically but not emotionally or spiritually throughout their 36 years of marriage, which ended with my dad’s death from cancer at the age of 59.

They taught me to love God, but never taught us how much God loves me. They couldn’t because they didn’t know either. I never had a real relationship with the living God until now.

2) It’s incredible what 20 hours can do! Over the course of two days, I was able to find the answer to this question: “Why do I exist?” The answer moved me to tears (the whole process did). I, Lily Kreitinger, exist to “Live in relationship with God, love, lead and witness to His people and change lives.”

While I’m not yet at a place of understanding about my parents, I do have a very different perspective of who they really were: God’s beloved children, deeply hurt by others, broken and alone. No one taught them how to be great parents.

No one taught them how loved they were. Now I can honor my dad’s memory and begin to heal the relationship with my mom. My mom is like a broken little girl in an adult body. I have learned that I will honor my parents as they follow Christ and that boundaries are necessary and not disrespectful.

I can now start to heal and grow in my marriage. For ten years, my husband tried to help me see how toxic the relationship with my parents was and until I understood the impact of the root system, I was unable to listen.

If you have read about LifePlan and are considering it, be prepared for a 180-degree turn in your life. You and the ones you love the most are worth it. Your Father is waiting for you in the Upper Room, with open arms.

If you would like to learn more about my experience with Chris, please feel free to contact me on Twitter @lilykreitinger.

Question: What are your takeaways? 


Understanding Root System

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Meet Chris LoCurto


Chris has a heart for changing lives by helping people discover the life and business they really want.

Decades of personal and leadership development experience, as well as running multi-million dollar businesses, has made him an expert in life and business coaching. personality types, and communication styles.

Growing up in a small logging town near Lake Tahoe, California, Chris learned a strong work ethic at home from his full-time working mom. He began his leadership and training career in the corporate world, starting but at E'TRADE.

21 thoughts on “From Dysfunctional To Thriving”

  1. Amen and Amen! LifePlan has been one AMAZING part of my journey as well. The uncovering of lies, the revealing of Truth and Identity, it’s life-changing stuff! If you are contemplating going, just GO!

    If in 50 years from now, you could look back on your life, and realize that you could have done something to help you enjoy the free life that you were created to live, wouldn’t you do it? I don’t think anyone in their right mind would ever answer no.

    Great post Lily! Chris, thanks for letting God use you as a Vessel! Please, do not stop the ministry that He’s given you!

    1. Hey Ben! Thanks for your comment. Totally agree with you. I’d like people to understand the impact of LifePlan has for the rest of their life. It’s hard to explain it. Blessings on your journey!

        1. Awesome testimony of God working in you Lily and through you Chris! You both are touching lives in tremendous ways!!

  2. DESIGNS by Rashada

    Wow Chris, what an amazing testimony! God can do great things! Thank you and thank you Lily for sharing!

  3. Lily… WooooooHoooo!!!! So thankful for you and for you coming to this / these realizations. So thankful to Chris for helping folks realize how much they are loved and needed. EPH 2:10 – You are God’s Masterpiece!…
    Both of you!

  4. It is only by forgiving and letting go of the hurt that you can free yourself and move forward. Then you are also able to love those who, through their own woundedness, caused the hurt. Congratulations, Lily, for the leaps forward you have made. God bless you, Chris, for being the instrument through which forgiveness (and boundaries) became possible.

    1. My husband summarized this very well, Dale. “LifePlan allows to replace anger with compassion”. I would add that it also allows you to love people where they are and not where you want them to be. I still can’t believe how joyful I feel lately and I won’t lie, I wanted to hit the “retrieve the post” button this morning. Being vulnerable is very strange, and it is also very freeing.

      1. And accepting people where they are is the gift you give to them. Acceptance replaces judgment. I’m sure it was a gut-check to hit “send” but when we are honest and vulnerable, it breaks down so many barriers! That assumption that “everyone else’s” life is running just ducky becomes the realization that we all have challenges. Good woman for sharing! And congratulations on your new-found freedom!

  5. Great post, Lily. This part resonated with me. “My mom is like a broken little girl in an adult body. I have learned that I will honor my parents as they follow Christ and that boundaries are necessary and not disrespectful.”
    I’ve been learning about this as well, and it is so incredibly powerful. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thanks for reading, Tammy! I have found that as women, we struggle with boundaries because we feel the need to care for everyone. More to come on that as I continue this journey.

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