398 | Healthy Leaders Pour Into Others

Healthy Leaders Pour Into Others

There is a tendency among leaders today, anybody with responsibility really, to focus on themselves to the detriment of those around them. One reason for this is that responsibility can feel like a weight on your shoulders, and helping others along the way can feel a little daunting!

Nobody wants to end up overwhelmed, and yet healthy leaders eventually learn a trade secret. An unhealthy self-focus might just be what’s holding you back from growing as a leader, not to mention really growing others and leading them well. So, how do we break out of this cycle?

I’ve spent decades learning to lead myself, so I can effectively lead others. Let me walk you down the same path that I’ve walked.

On today’s show, you’ll discover:

  • How to get healthy, so that you can pour into others
  • How to get your relationships into right order of priority
  • How to get your focus off of you, so you can help others

398 | Healthy Leaders Pour Into Others

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Healthy leaders pour into others that is coming up next. Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are. Welcome to the show, folks. Today, we are talking about getting ourselves freed up from our self focus. I know you are, you are so excited to not be looking at yourself, right? And why are we doing this? Why are we focusing on this because when we're

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not focused

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on us, there's an amazing thing that happens, we can focus on other people, we can pour into other people we can pour into the people that are around us. So listen, here's the deal. Every single one of us has something good to give others. And every single one of us has a level of influence that we can share. Right? So while we're talking to leaders today, if you're listening to the show that you you may not have the actual title of leader doesn't matter. If you're a parent, you're a leader. If you're a sibling, pretty darn sure you've led siblings, right. If you're a team member, you're probably appear and have found at some way, shape or form, you have led somebody. So really, while we're talking to the leader, it doesn't mean the titled leader, we're talking to every single person listening, every one of us has something valuable within us that other people need. And guess what? It's positive, it's healthy, it's life giving, it's an investment that we make in others. And it should be our focus on this coming year. So while again, we're saying this is for leaders, folks, it's for anybody that people are following you, right? If somebody follows you, I don't care who it is, what is leading leading is is helping people to get somewhere they wouldn't normally get to. So this is for you. But think about this, who are the folks in your life, looking to you for help or advice, right, who's listening to you, who's taking cues from you, who's being influenced by your words and actions, and it's everybody who's really watching you believe it or not, especially those little ones. If you've got kiddos at home, you're probably influencing way more people than you know. And I want to help you maximize the effect that you have on them. This is both for their benefit. And believe it or not, it is for yours as well. So we're going to talk more about that when we come back right after this. Hey, leaders, what has this year taught you? For many of you the events of 2020 opened your eyes to core challenges and struggles deep within your business. I'm sure we can all agree the business as usual isn't cutting it anymore. But as a business owner, you may not know where to go from here. I'm here to tell you that it's time for something different. As a leader, it's time to pour into your business and your team by learning and implementing core skills that will make an immediate impact. I want to help you grow your business and make your team successful. It's time to sign up for the next level leadership live event in April. This event is tailor made for small business owners and leaders just like you helping you move forward even in a climate of fear and uncertainty. It's not a positive thinking session. But a strategic thinking workshop full of insightful and impactful learnings. It's going to equip you to return to your business and team with a powerful and practical plan that you can implement immediately. tickets to the next level leadership live event are available right now. And at an extreme early bird rate. Go to Chris locurto.com slash live event for more information and to get your tickets again. That's Chris locurto.com slash live event. It's time to change your business and your leadership for the better. Don't miss out. All right. How do we pour into other people? How do we make sure that we're doing

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the right things to influence people? Well, before we do this, let's deal with the elephant in the room. Okay. When I said healthy leaders pour into others, what's the first thing that came to mind?

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When you heard that bumper on the front side of the show, what's the first thing that came to mind? When you saw that title? What's the first First thing that came to mind. What comes to mind right now when I say, I want to get you to the place where you can pour into other people? What's going through your mind when I say that? Here's the deal. Do you feel yourself pushing back or even resisting that idea?

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Well,

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here's the thing, Chris, I feel like you're about to give me more work. I just don't need more work. Or maybe your answer is, listen, I'm just trying to survive. I'm just trying to keep my head above water. Or maybe you're thinking, How can I really make a difference? without burning my own self out? folks? The elephant that I'm referring to is what author Steven pressfield calls resistance. He says this, most of us have two lives. Listen to this. Most of us have two lives, the life we live, and the unlived life within us, between the two stands resistance. So let's kind of unpack that a little bit. We are living the life that we are currently living well, no decrepit not following. But we're not done with what we've got when it comes to potential. Believe it or not, for a lot of us, we're not done with what we have. When it comes to capacity. Chris, I am just crazy busy right now. You know, I've got the kids at home, the dogs, the cats, the spouse, everything's gone, I have no more capacity, I get it. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is, we're choosing to live life in a way that is leaving a whole lot of potential and capacity on the table. And so because we see how busy we are, or because we see that it's it's exhausting, or because maybe we're afraid to stretch, maybe we're afraid to do more, become more, maybe we're afraid that we're going to be failures, if we push ourselves more, whatever the thing is that's causing that resistance, that's keeping us from living the unlived life, being more becoming more doing more. That's the thing that's holding us back. Whatever, that it might be a lie that you're telling yourself, I'm not good enough to pour into other people. I'm not good enough to lead people. Well,

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whatever that is. That's that resistance, right? The resistance is in the response. Well, I'm not ready to step out and pour into others.

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What does that even mean? Why are you not ready? What's that thing holding you back? What is the big deal of stepping out and pouring into other people? Maybe the answer is Chris. I just don't know how. Or for a lot of people. It may be that you failed. Perhaps you've tried pouring into people and it just didn't work out that well. Right? I don't know. But for some reason, there's that thing that holds us back. Freud called this a destructive force in human nature that rises whenever we consider a tough, long term course of action that might do good for us, or others. Think about that. This resistance is something that becomes destructive, because we don't want to go after it. It's something that is in our human nature that says I shouldn't go do that. I shouldn't step out there. People don't want me to pour into them. I have too much on my plate. I'm too busy as it is. Or like we're seeing you know, a ton nowadays maybe it's the victim mentality. Maybe victim mentality is holding you back from pouring into other people. Well, they should pour into me. Nobody pours into me. I'm somebody that people should be pouring into. If people really cared they'd focus on me. Maybe it's the the issue of mee mee mee, right. Whatever that is. That resistance is holding us back what's holding us back from resistance holds us back from living the life we were meant to live. Believe it or not. There is a whole long list of things that God wants you to do, to live the life that he wants you to live. He has a life that is meant for you. It's our job to go Seek that and discover what that is right? It's actually not our job. There's a lot of people that teach you that it's your job to go out and get yours and do yours and, and take care of you and go stand at the top of the mountain and shout who you are. All those books that you're reading that are saying that none of those are coming from the Bible. None of that is God's decision for you. God wants you to seek Him, and He will show you the life that you're meant to live. So what else is resistance holding us back from a life that is fruitful, that runs over and outward, pouring into others? It is absolutely a Hebrew belief system that we are supposed to actually pour beyond ourselves, to pour out with our resources, that our resources aren't meant just for us that we're not supposed to stockpile that we're not supposed to hoard that we're supposed to go and do. We're supposed to take care of us and our family, and then we're supposed to have plenty to actually pour back out. What else is resistance holding us back from? Yes, you were born to make a difference in other people's lives. You were not born to only focus on your life. You were born to take care of other people as well. So we're talking about what's holding you back from reaching your potential, and really pouring into others in a healthy way. I'm going to turn to the words of the amazing Michael Jackson who said it best. I'm starting with the man in the mirror. Yes, that's all you get for me today, folks. I'm not singing that one for you. Okay, maybe I will. I'm starting with the man in the mirror.

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Thank you Brian's mouthing the words over there. Ah,

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oh, boy, we

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just lost listeners right there. So the first thing that healthy leaders must do is self assess. Let me say it again, the first thing you've got to do is take a hard look at yourself. Too many people are looking to other people, and to entitlement and to situations to try and nail down what's due to them. colossal waste of time. Instead, what you've got to do is you've got to take a hard look at you. What are you doing? What are you believing? What are you making happen? Right? So first off, we gain perspective on ourselves. That is called self awareness. So I'm going to compare our message here to the message of some very popular thought leaders that are out there right now. Some people that are making incredible amounts of money writing books that are helping people to focus on themselves. What's the difference? Our message here is not being self centered, right? You have to self assess, so that you can be incredibly aware of yourself, so that you can focus on taking care of the things that need to be fixed when it comes to you. So that you can then not focus on you. As opposed to some of the more popular thought leaders out there that are screaming, it's all about self care. You have to take care of you ladies, there are some thought leaders in the female world right now the the female thought leaders that are screaming that you need to focus on you You are you take care of the world, you got to focus on you, you have to focus on self care yet. These are things that drive me nuts. Because when you look at the message, and I have and you dig down, you get people that respond by saying oh my gosh, that person just knows they get me they understand. And then I always ask this question, would you learn from it? Well, it was just really good because they get me what did you learn from it? Well, that somebody understands where I am, okay, that they help you solve? Did they give you steps? Did you are you focusing on not focusing on you know, I'm focusing on I need to spend more time focusing on me,

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folks.

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This is a dangerous message. It's a message that says I get it. You're not happy in life, you're you're living in a difficult situation. You have all these people that you take care of for you. You should go focus only on you. You should self care, you need to spend a lot of time taking care of you. Listen, in no way shape or form. Am I saying that you should not take care of yourself. In fact, what do we teach here? We teach that you've got to do Do specific things to take care of yourself, but not so you stay focused on you. Our goal is not to create a self centered person.

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Why?

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Because people who focus on taking care of themselves become incredibly entitled in life. They become very difficult to work with, to deal with, they believe everybody should then turn around and take care of them. Hey, I'm sorry, I'm, I'm a Gen Xer, we bust our butts. We're the organist people there have been, okay, maybe not have been. But definitely in a lot of generations around us, we bust it, we make things happen. We don't sit around waiting for everything to happen for us. We bust it, right. And there are these people that are giving these messages that are saying, you are doing so much go take care of you spend time taking care of you. And what's happening is it's creating a lot of entitlement. Take care of you. So that you can solve things, so that you can fix things, so that you can do things well and right and good. And then take care of people go focus on others. Because there is something that people don't really understand. And you need to get this, the more time you spend focused on you listen to me on this, the more time you spend focused on you, the more you will see all the problems, the more you will create more problems, the more you will become a victim in life, the more everybody else is going to be wrong and bad and horrible. If you are self focused and self centered, then what happens is, everything in the world happens to you. You become a victim, you are not going to hear me ever teach you to go be a victim, you will hear me teach you over and over again, gain phenomenal perspective. Put incredible tools in place, solve a whole bunch of crap,

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and then go make better decisions in life. Go focus on God, go focus on other people. So a lot, I may have just lost some followers, hey,

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I'm sorry. But if the message that you want for me is that you need to spend your time taking care of you. Because you spend time taking care of other people, that's just not going to be my message. What you are going to hear from me is you spend very thoughtful time getting you healthy. Let me say that again. You spend a very thoughtful time getting you healthy. And then that will help you so that you can pour in a healthy way into other people. So the next thing that healthy leaders or healthy people do,

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or healthy influencers, and there's a lot of influencers out there that are not healthy. The next thing that healthy leaders do is to address their

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own problems. I can't do what I do. being selfish. We have a business full of people, helping other people. We can't do this business, being incredibly focused on ourselves, being self centered being victims. You know, where the world everything happens to us. We can't do that. We can't do shows we can do events. We can't do coaching and counseling. I'm not saying there aren't a lot of people out there who don't have platforms and are famous and they're incredibly selfish. That definitely there's no doubt about that. But in our with our message, there's something that you have to be you have to be able to put other people before you. You have to if you're going to be healthy and help people focus on the word being help, right? Not just give advice that doesn't help somebody. If you're going to help people in life, you have to be able to put you aside. You have to be able to put them first. Well if you are unhealthy, and you are putting other people first what's going to happen, you're gonna discover you will crash. You can't do that. The first half of my life, I did that. The first half of my life and even a little bit further past that. I spent my time putting other people first and I wasn't healthy. I was very much people pleaser. I've got I got all of my worth from people. I got all of my work from what I thought was taking care of people, which many times was enabling them. And many times it was allowing them to steamroll right over me. And God smacked me upside the head one day, and he's like, this has got to stop. You're not helping, you're hurting, and you're hurting by enabling. So here's the deal. You have to address your own problems, I had to go in solve the people pleasing. I had to learn healthy boundaries. I had to learn to be able to put things in place to those people who were wanting to take advantage or control or manipulate and say, I'm sorry, I've allowed this to happen. No more. Now, all of my nice, I'm a very highest, by the way, folks always think that I'm a high D, those that follow personality styles. Because I have confidence now. Right? But guess what, I'm a very high s, I'm a very high. And I've gotten like about a 40. d. I fall of my biases that are out there going, Oh, my gosh, I could never do that. Folks,

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I did.

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Now I did it. Because God said enough is enough. You got to fix this. Right? I was able to do that I worked hard at it. I learned what it was like to put healthy boundaries in place, I learned what actual healthy boundaries were, you know, what they are, how to utilize them how to put them in place. And my early days, I had to put hard, healthy boundaries. I mean, like, I had to put it in with a lot of just energy. You don't get to do this anymore. And as I got healthier, I didn't have to use as much energy and now doesn't take anything. Right? It's easy for me to see when people are being unhealthy toward me or are trying to control or manipulate right? And so I just make different choices. So the second half of my life, I've been helping people for decades, get better, get healthier. Guess what, I couldn't do what I'm doing. Now, if I didn't go through what I went through back then. I couldn't do what I'm doing now. If I was still being self focused, with this convincing of myself, that people pleasing is a good thing. That it's the right thing. It's not enabling does not help anybody, right? So our end game here goes beyond today's egocentric mantras of uuu. Right? Our focus here is start with God. You start with your father, the King of the universe, you discover the things that he wants you to do you discover the things that our struggles in your life, and you focus on those things, fix those things, and then go help a bunch of people with it. I believe that you were made for more than just you you. I believe that you were made. For more than stockpiling money. I believe that you are made for more than focusing on achievements in life for yourself. Awards, rewards recognitions. I believe that you are made to lift others up. There is a phrase in Hebrew, Mish pot and Seneca justice and righteousness. When you see it in a Eastern lens, it's not the same as our lens. Instead, to God. Justice is lifting others up. That's why we see so many times in the Bible, how God is upset against the leaders who focus on themselves. Instead of focusing on those who are suffering and struggling. Those who are being oppressed. You focus on showing yourself, you know, to all these people that you're something important, and there are kids starving and there's widows that can't take care of themselves. Where's God's heart, lift people up. If you've never seen our logo, it has two things. in it. It has a shepherd's crook. And it has an arrow. That Shepherd's crook in the East where they don't have much flat land. They have lots of hilly land. A lot of times that crook is to help lift the smaller sheep up that can't get up to the food in

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the water.

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I mean, you get up above them, and reach down and lift them up. Now that might sound cruel to you. It's not. It's literally getting them to a place where they can have sustenance. Folks, that's your job. Your job is to help others People get sustenance, your job is to be able to get above so that you can lift them up. Now the arrow for us is that we help people who can't fight for themselves. That's another aspect of what we do. So listen to how Jesus put it in Matthew seven, three through five. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye, and pay no attention to the plank? in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, let me take that speck out of your eye. When all the time there's a plank in your own eye, you hypocrite, first, take the plank out of your own eye. And then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye. Very often, we can't possibly recognize because we don't self assess, we can't possibly recognize that we have a plank in RI, the same time we're trying to help others. Now, I'm probably gonna step on a couple of toes. There is a lot of folks who have a people pleasing mentality, you know, we would call that a root system, surface level response, people pleasing. There are a lot of folks who have a savior mentality. There are folks who literally go around, I see this often. There are folks who go around telling people all the things they're doing wrong, and all the things that they should be doing, and calling them out on the things that they're not doing the whole time. It's the very same things that they're struggling with. Now, I will tell you, God smacked me upside of the head on that a long time ago, when I was helping somebody and allowing that very same thing, you know, helping somebody on putting healthy boundaries in place. And I didn't even recognize that it was happening to me that I was not putting those healthy boundaries in place. So here's what you need to understand. If you find yourself frustrated with how people are living, doing making decisions, and you can so clearly see the very things that they're doing wrong, there's a really good possibility. It's because you're doing the same things. And you're not recognizing that you are doing those. So remember, get that plank out of your own eye, before you jump to help somebody else. Get the plank out of your eyes so you can help them with the speck in theirs. So let me ask you, what is the plank or obstruction that is in your own eye? What's the thing that's blocking your perspective? What's the thing that's holding you back? Let's ask these things of ourselves together. Okay. Are there still pains in my past? Do I have grudges and bitterness? Are their worth issues I'm still dealing with are their approval and control issues? Where am I getting my value from? guaranteed 99% of you, man, right? It's not coming from God. Oh, Chris, I'm a Christian. Of course I get my value from God. How? And so that question, what you'll discover is you're not getting your worth, from God. Do I have weight or food issues? Do I have bad or unhealthy financial decisions that I'm making? And the biggest? Where is God in all of this? So think of all those questions we just asked of ourselves together. What are your answers? Would you come up with if you're like no to all of those while you are doing phenomenally well, that's awesome. But chances are there's a lot of those we can say yes to Yeah, there's some pains that I'm still struggling with some pains. I haven't gotten over Yeah, there's some grudges that I'm holding that I still haven't gotten over because I don't know how I know that I've got them. I know that I've got worth issues. Chris, you talk about the worth issues don't know how to get over those. Don't know how to get my worth from God. I hear you talk about that my worth is supposed to come from God. But I still don't know how to do it. All I know is people please write get my word for man or achieve a whole bunch and get my word for a man or buy a fancy car and try and please the person at the stoplight right. So yeah, I got worth issues. I just don't know what to do with them. Well, if we're not aware of these very problems, we can't do anything about it. We need to address our problems so we can get past our selves. Let me say that again. We need to address our problems. So we can get past ourselves so we can get healthy.

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So we can get that plank out of our eye. Right? So we can help others get the speck out of theirs. So let's pause in review. If you're not self assessing, you can't even see your own problems. without addressing your problems, you can't get past yourself. Without getting past yourself, you'll never really focus on others. So if this is where you're at, you're addressing your own issues moving past yourself, not letting self centeredness hold you back, then let's take a moment right now and even pause the podcast if you need to, and take inventory of who's around you, that needs your voice. To stop and think about that for a second, right? Who in your life, who in your, your community who in your, your circle needs your voice? All right, we're gonna talk about how to take care of the things you need to take care of so that you can pour into other people when we come back right after this. Next Level life is our two day personal discovery experience. It's a one on one personalized event where we guide you through a process to help you discover your root system, to get unstuck in life and to discover what's holding you back from freedom and peace. Imagine this What if you could wake up every morning with a clear purpose? What would it look like to have healthier relationships with less conflict? Where would you be in a few months, a year, five years? If you had clarity, purpose, and peace? Probably a big difference from where you stand today. Now, I know it's possible because I've been where you are asking myself, is there more there is, and there's a better way, and it starts with next level life, you can go to Chris locurto.com slash discover, to take the next step. Now, if you're struggling with this contentment, regrets, or not feeling good enough, which most of you are, if you're filled with anxiety, or your relationships are lacking, don't keep going through the same motions every single day, learn how to move past the things robbing you of peace, go to Chris locurto.com slash discover and take the next step. Okay, we're back. And we're asking the question, Hey, Chris, I

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hear all this great

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information that you just shared. But

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where do I start?

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What do I do first? How do I even know how do I solve this stuff for me? And then how do I start looking to pour around? Well, first place you need to start? Is your focus on God? Now? Yes, I know, you hear me say that a lot. And yes, I know, you say, Chris, I go to church, guys, that's not focusing on God. Right? It's great to have community, it's great to hear a lesson. How much time are you spending, getting to know God's Word? How many times have you gone from the front of the book, all the way to the back of the book? How much do you know about it? How much are you spending time not just listening to somebody preach at you with one or two small verses not even getting the context of where those verses are coming from, and then sharing bunch of bunches of their stories or things to make it flashy? To know God, you've got to know his word. Now, if you look at Ephesians, four, five and six, God kind of lays out this process, we call it the relationship circles, right? Where you see where God's emphasis is on, who's the most important relationships are one of the most important relationships you should be working on. So if you think about this, and again, we use this in next level life, if you think about these circles, the smallest circle, and then the next circle outside of that, and the next circle outside of that, and the next circle outside of that. The most focused circle, is that one in the center? Who should be in that?

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God?

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Folks, he is the one who owns you. He's the one who has your destiny tied up, right? He's the one who is going to take care of your eternity it's either going to be with him or it's going to be without him. So guess what? Shouldn't you focus your time on understanding? The one who holds your eternity? Yes, you should. If you're following somebody who tells you you shouldn't do that, you should just show up to church once a week. And that's plenty You're doing good. Leave. Go somewhere else. Go to somebody who actually is teaching you how to go deep on your relationship with God. He's your father. He's the most important being there is.

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However,

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you should have a really good relationship with him right now. I'm going to shock some of you on this. The

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next circle who's the next most important being in your life. It's supposed to be your spouse. There should be no more important human being than your spouse. That should be the most important relationship you have. I'm going to speak to some of you folks out there, women, men, whoever's doing this, that you keep putting your kids before your spouse Shame on you. What a horrible thing to do. Listen, the way we put it here is, if you want the person in the circle to realize that they're not that important to you, let them see that somebody else outside of their circle is either in their circle or ahead of them. Think about that for a second. So what we're saying is this, most people do not have God at the center. And a lot of folks don't have their spouse up there either. Right? So what you're telling the people that are supposed to be in those circles, you're just not that important. And folks, love your kids like crazy. But if you want to love your kids, incredibly well love your spouse. The more you love your spouse, the more you will train your kids well, and teach them how to love. Listen, that should be the most important person who's in the next circle. It's not your friends, not your extended family. It's your kids. So God in the center, spouse in the next ring, the next circle, kids in the next circle, yes, this is the way these are the the relationships that God is saying, Look it up, go read Ephesians you will see very clearly who he puts first and next and next and next right? Guess who's next? Your team? Yes, what I'm saying is if you are the owner of the company, your team is more important in this lineup, then x friends extended family, right? Why? Because these are the people that put the food on your table, they make your business happen. And guess what? in their lives, you as the business owner are supposed to be in that circle for them. Why? Because you're the one who puts the food on their tables. It's crazy thing, we completely do not focus on this, my team is incredibly important to me. I take care of them not before the other circles, but my gosh, I take care of them. And it's a heavy emphasis for me. And we have a phenomenal teaching environment here. And my goal is to give and take care of them as much as I possibly can. Because that makes God happy. That's my job. So, Chris, this is fantastic. Why are you listing all of this stuff out? Well, this is how you should focus on where you pour into. If you are going to pour into people, the place you got to start first is God. Folks, get the tools to learn how to go into a deeper relationship with God. The more you focus on him, the more you will see the things that are happening in your life that are not good things you haven't dealt with the things you got to fix the things you've got to change, then get the tools on how to solve those things, get your button the next level life you know you need to be here, get your button, we will take care of that give you all those tools, right? Then you need to take care of who your spouse. That's the first human being outside of fixing the stuff you got to fix about you not the old go spin, you know, 17 hours a week taking bounds and your self care with your candles. I'm not saying that spending some time there is not a that is not a good thing. Of course it is. But don't spend your all your time. self care. That's ridiculous. What I'm saying is solve the things you need to solve about you. Let's get the plank out of your eye and then pour into your spouse, pour into your spouse pour into your spouse. Did I make that clear? Right? How do you make your spouse successful? Men it is your job, according to God, to find out what his will for your life is and to follow it.

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You got to do that. And when he gives you that spouse that you have, it is your job to love that spouse. Like Jesus loved the church. Well how did he love the church? He died for it. He took the world's worst beating on for it. He took the sins of the church on right now you can't do that. But you can love your wife incredibly well. One of the big ways you do that, follow God's will discover God's will for your life. He will bless you in that. And love your spouse, ladies, same thing. It is your job to see God's will for your life. It is your job to make your husband successful, as well. We are not supposed to live these separate lives where we go in separate directions and go after our aspirations and achievements and all of that we're supposed to be one flesh. We're supposed to love each other, the way that Jesus loves us. Right? So how do you make your husband successful? How do you love your husband incredibly well? What are the things that you need to do to make that happen? And the whole time, husbands, you're loving your wives, well, wives, you're loving your husbands. Well, guess what you're teaching the kiddos, how to do the very same thing. And if the kids see this is powerful, if the kids see that the spouse is more important than they are, they will learn the proper focus of love. And they will carry that over into their relationships. It is important that the kids know that they are incredibly loved by the parents, but that their other the other parent comes first. that teaches them how to love properly. After you've done this pouring into your spouse, pour into your kids, folks, don't spend time building an empire to yourself. Don't spend time pouring into people outside of your family and you're not spending time on your family. It's terrible. For all of you that know what a PK is a preacher's kid, or a pastor's kid. You see these situations where somebody is in ministry and they spend more their time pouring into other people than they do their own family. And what happens the kids go off the rails. They spend time doing bad things trying to get daddy or mommy's attention. And then they just spend time doing bad things.

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Why?

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Because other people were in their circle. Other people were more important than they were pour in to your kids, your kids are your responsibility before other people. Period. You should not be somebody that is out there spending your time pouring into all these other people. And your kids are falling apart, your spouse is falling apart. Make this priority correct? Then who do you pour into your team? If you're the business owner, for the business leader, you pour into your team. If you're the team, then you bust it for your business owner, right? Before you leaders, after you've taken care of your relationship with God, after you've taken care of your relationship with your spouse, after you've taken care of your relationship with your kids, now you pour into your team. As we say around here all the time. It's your job as a leader to make your team successful, not the other way around. So how do you get in there and make them successful? Folks, if you do these things, if you spend your time with the right priorities, you will be absolutely blown away at how much work you have to do right in front of you. You don't have to go outside of these categories. Trust me, you don't have to go fine. You know, go on some expedition to try and find people that you can change their lives, you have plenty right where you are. Don't take on more than you can handle. Take care of what God has blessed you with. Take care of what's right in front of you. Do it in the right priorities, do it in the right order. And you will discover as you get healthy, the more healthy you can make those around you. The more healthy you can influence those around you to be. So folks, this is the last episode of this year. I hope that you are focusing on 2021 not being a carbon copy of 2020. I hope that you are not carrying over the stress and the crap of this year into the next one. I hope that you're not looking at a year and allowing it to be defined by what's happened in the past year. Instead, get healthy Let next year, be the year you get the healthiest you possibly can be. There are so many things that you can do to get healthy. And by doing so, it will allow you to influence those around you to be healthy. utilize this upcoming year to do exactly that. As always, our hope is that this information helps you there's lots of folks you know that need to hear this, share it with them. If you do us a favor, go online and and give us some some ratings on iTunes and give us a comment. You know, leave a review if you would, that helps us to reach more people. It helps other people to get this message as well. That helps us to reach more people and get them this message so that they can get healing as well. As always, take this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life. And join us on the next episode.

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