How Considerate To Others Are You?

This is not a rant but more of a question. So let me give you the back story. Recently, I was flying from Los Angeles to Nashville.

For those who don’t know, it’s a four-hour flight. And four hours for a guy as tall as me is a long time to spend feeling like an adult sitting in a kindergartner’s chair. So when possible, I try and grab the exit row for the additional leg room.

On this particular flight, I grabbed the exit row aisle seat. Not long after, a couple came and grabbed the other two. This struck me as odd since BOTH of them could stand up straight and not hit their heads on the overhead compartment.

When they sat down, the lady said, “These are the best seats.” To which I thought, Yes they are—for TALL people!

Not long after that comment, she looked at the tray tables and said, “Wow. They sure don’t make those fit very well. They’re so far away.” Once again, I thought, They’re not far away for tall people!

Now there is no rule or law that says the exit aisles should be for tall people. But I had to ask myself, Is it inconsiderate to take up exit aisle rows when you can still fit through the small door in Alice in Wonderland?

It’s a four-hour flight. For those of us that pray to God the person in front of us doesn’t lean their seat back and break our kneecaps, the exit row is more than just the best seats. It’s a welcome relief to something that we can’t control—our height.

With that being said, I had to ask myself, What are the things I do that are inconsiderate to others? It’s not nice for me to bash these folks, when I’m probably just as guilty.

Question: What things do you see that are inconsiderate of others?



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Meet Chris LoCurto


Chris has a heart for changing lives by helping people discover the life and business they really want.

Decades of personal and leadership development experience, as well as running multi-million dollar businesses, has made him an expert in life and business coaching. personality types, and communication styles.

Growing up in a small logging town near Lake Tahoe, California, Chris learned a strong work ethic at home from his full-time working mom. He began his leadership and training career in the corporate world, starting but at E'TRADE.

124 thoughts on “How Considerate To Others Are You?”

  1. I experienced someone being considerate today while I was running – I was trying to get across the street, and the car waited and waved me across so I didn’t have to stop.

    I see the flip side so many times when someone wants to merge in rush hour traffic and no one will let them in. I know I’m probably guilty too, but it’s nice when you can surprise someone by being nice. Thanks for the reminder, Chris. I’m going to be more conscious of being considerate today!

    1. And when you are sitting in traffic and there’s that guy that drives up the shoulder to get ahead- how do we react? with disgust, or a chance to say- maybe his wife is in labor? If ONLY the people that needed to go up the shoulder did, then when we see them we wouldn’t want to drive in the middle and cut off their access….. like I tell my kids, someone needs to be the hero and start doing the right thing regardless of what others are doing.

      1. It’s all about the story you tell yourself at times like that. There’s a wonderful book, “Crucial Conversations”, which talks a bit about that (amongst its other wisdoms). Why make the first story you tell yourself about someone else’s actions be negative? Why not tell a positive story and give yourself a smile instead?

        1. And use it as an opportunity to give thanks for your own blessings and be grateful that you have avoided whatever actions prompted the less than stellar qualities in those you encounter.Say a prayer for them and wish their day to turn around.

          1. @lilykreitinger:disqus I would say you emanate a very bright light of love and acceptance; all of your posts are witty ,intelligent kind and spot on. I doubt you are as negligent as you feel, but anything we put our attention to grows, so keep being that positive beacon I believe you already are.

    2. I’ve been driving a semi for a couple years now. Let me tell ya, I’m WAY more considerate now. I know what it’s like driving a truck and trailer when people don’t let you switch lanes, cut you off, slam on their brakes. So I ALWAYS let trucks in when I’m in my personal vehicle now!
      It’s all about seeing things from the other persons perspective! Great comment Carol!

      1. Personally, I don’t mess with the ‘Big Macs’, Mark! They’re much bigger than me, and much like in real life, if you’re bigger than me, you automatically have the right of way! (Unless you’re standing in front of me at a concert, of course!)

      2. Mark, one year my husband drove a big rig. I rode with him on a couple of trips, and WOW, my perspective of why trucks do what they sure changed! (Then there was the time I had to draft off one because my alternator went out and I had no lights – before cell phones, so I had to get to the next rest area to call my dad, and the truck was a perfect solution at 1 a.m.)

    3. Carol, NOTHING is worse than being cut off in traffic when you are jogging! I know in this case, you said the driver yielded, but when you have to stop running so a driver can blow past you (usually texting during) it’s extremely frustrating.

      Usually, I’m too winded to even yell a sarcastic “Thanks a lot”, anyway!

      1. It’s tough – and I run so early it’s usually dark, and I’m afraid to go unless I see that hand waving me across. But it’s awful to have to stop and then start up again – ouch.

  2. It dawned on me today as I considered paying for the guy next to me gas purchase (He was pulling out before I got my act together and found my wallet.. organizational skills lack, I know..) , that the impact that something so insignificant in my world has such a huge impact on them and the story they tell throughout the day- is because it is so UNEXPECTED. Which makes me sad. Be the person to let the mom with toddlers check out before you. Be the person in the car when it is raining to let people go in front of you when it is raining. Buy the guy behind you a cup of coffee. Pay someone toll. It goes beyond putting the seat down, I want to launch a campaign to make consideration and kindness so ingrained it no longer surprises people when someone goes out of their way for another. I am pollyanna, as I gave a guy carrying a gas tank a ride the other day in the rain- he asked if I wanted something in return , I told him not to murder me. He laughed. My friends scolded for being so un-cautious. IF I died that day, I didn’t let my fear keep me from being a good person, albeit slightly moronic.

    1. Haha. “don’t murder me” that’s hilarious! Seriously great post! The times that I do little things like that it always amazes me the surprise people show. It’s also such an awesome high for me! Best. Feeling. Ever. Thanks for sharing and being an example to me Cass!

      1. Thanks you for your kindness and you are welcome. I think I did catch him off guard with that comment. He kept offering money. And his surprise when I waited for him to fill the gas tank and I took him back to his car was utter disbelief. Doing things for others is selfish in a sense- it does make us feel good- I want to get to the place that I can’t consider any other alternative. I joined the Be the Match registry- people are astonished I would undergo a painful procedure for someone I don’t know. I said why wouldn’t I? If I can save a life it have no other choice. Mark- keep doing good- keep paying it forward and keep delighting your heart!!

      1. Thanks. One day I let so many people check out in front of me (it was one of those bag your own groceries and I had a lot, everyone else had one, two items) the cashier said to me- you will never get out of the line ….lol. I guess if the world was right we wouldn’t need a law to make spaces for handicapped people, we would leave them open out of love. and the “this space reserved signs for new or expectant mothers” would be redundant. We can only change our actions and hope it inspires others.

          1. Or the signs to not use your cell phone while checking out. REALLY??? Does the President even need to be on his phone 24/7 in public?? I don’t think so- get over yourselves people and connect on a human level again and treat everyone the way you want your grandmother treated.

          2. @a86ba507af71c988ab98f199207f9547:disqus I can dig since I grew up with 8 Track players so I appreciate keeping your music private 🙂

          3. Funny you mention things like that. I’m working on a ‘Top 5’ list of things they makes signs for that should not be necessary to say. THAT would be a great one, Lily. The one that inspired my list was at the gym: “Please wipe your sweat off of equipment before leaving”.

    2. I love your attitude – and I try to do things like let the person with one item in line in front of me, but sometimes I end up missing the opportunity and thinking “i should have’ afterwards. Maybe the CLoblog pledge should be “be considerate”! When you sign that, you get a copy of the glossary!

      1. I was just thinking. I think part of beig considerate is accepting these type of gestures from others too. We get so self sufficient sometimes that we refuse kindness from others because “we’re able to do it ourselves” and thus take away the other persons opportunity for te blessings and warm fuzzies of serving…

    3. I can’t tell you how many coffees and lunches I’ve anonymously bought for those in uniform, usually in airports, over the years. I know what they’re sacrificing, and it seems such a small thing to me to stick a ten or twenty on the counter and tell the checkout person that whatever so-and-so wants is on me, but don’t point me out to them, please. Just thank them for their service from a grateful citizen.

      I should consider doing that for more than just military, police, firefighters and rescue workers. Thanks for the suggestion, even if you didn’t mean it as such!

    4. AAAAAAAMEN!!!! I was headed to a race and saw a trucker broke down and walking. Since I was going my own speed limit, it took me awhile to stop and back up. He had turned around and was back at the truck. I got out and asked if he needed a ride. He said someone was on the way, and that there still are good people in this world! It made my day, and I didn’t even give him a ride.

  3. I’ll bet they even used their tiny voices to mock the tall passengers in the regular aisles, didn’t they?
    Thanks for this post, Chris. Who couldn’t use the reminder?
    “Considerate of others” is the most important behavioral trait we should be modeling for our children. Emboss it into their character, we should. Then no one will have to write blogs about our inconsiderate offspring! Oh, and the world will be a nice place, too.

  4. I’ll be honest, I find it inconsiderate when I’m on a long flight and some guy who must be descended from giants, or at least Shaq take all of the exit row seats. Do they think just b/c I can fit through the small door on Alice in Wonderland I don’t enjoy stretching my feet??? I mean really!
    Haha, ok, seriously. It’s so easy to get caught up in your own little world. I’m inadvertently inconsiderate to my wife so often it’s ridiculous. I don’t mean to be, but we view things differently. I’m totally fine with leaving dishes on the counter for 30-45 min after dinner and relaxing before doing them. She on the other hand is pulling the plate out of your hand while you’re taking the last bites to wash it. I’m inconsiderate of how she feels about dishes, not intentionally, just b/c we view things differently. I think that applies to most times we’re inconsiderate.
    So we’ve got to think of what others might think or feel if we’re going to be sure we’re being considerate (seems kinda obvious when I put it that way, haha)

        1. You guys are all forgetting the little fellas like me who hate flying and have a couple in the airport before the flight. They can have all the space they need in the aisle seat, just so long as they don’t mind the repeated “Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom….again.” requests throughout the flight! (Remember 2 drinks prior to flight means AT LEAST 2 waters to stay hydrated. 4 drinks, 4 trips to the back!).

          You big guys have can have the aisle, you just have to get up 6-8 times during the flight! mmmmmwwww-haaa hha ha (insert evil laugh. Tiny. Evil laugh!)

    1. I can write a whole book on how husbands can be more considerate to their wives, but I’ll give you a few examples: 1. Please do not walk in with muddy rubber boots 2 seconds after I finished mopping the floor.
      2. There’s a hamper in the bathroom to hold your dirty laundry. Your socks are NOT going to walk 2 feet and jump in it.
      3. All the dishes are done and put away… I’m sure you can rinse that ONE cup you drank out of after dinner.

      OK… now that we got that straightened out, read my serious response to this post above.

      1. Then there’s the new TP roll that doesn’t know how to unpackage itself, jump outta the cubbard, and climb onto the roller thingy for ya. Sheesh. The person who invents the robo TP will be one rich person. That’s all I got ta say about that.

  5. Kindness and consideration are sadly disappearing in our culture. We are all so caught up in our own one-sided world that we may be inconsiderate without even realizing it.

    When I ride the commuter train to work, I see how people’s personalities and values play out. I can predict who will be kind and who will be a jerk. It’s probably the wrong thing to do, but I have names for them. One of them is “The Stopper”. We have to go on an escalator to get out of the train station on to the street level to catch the next ride on a bus or light rail train. Most people get on it and keep moving. The Stopper just stops and holds the line. I initially thought she may have some issues with walking, but when she gets off the escalator, she seems perfectly OK. The funny thing is that if walking is an issue for her, there is an elevator right there which she could ride without making everyone late to catch their bus.

    I know there are many ways in which I am inadvertently inconsiderate of others. I have a hard time listening without interjecting my wonderful opinions and ideas about the subject. It hit me when I read it in Joel Manby’s book “Love Works”. Interrupting is a sign of distrust. So not only am I being inconsiderate, I’m telling others that what they have to say is not important. I don’t always give up my seat on the train to someone who has a longer ride.

    Thanks for a good reminder “Be kind to tall people around you today” ;0)

    1. oooh,I might be a STopper… I just realized my fear of being ground up at the bottom of the escalator (yes, I saw an elderly lady suffer that fate when I was a child- my dad stood by not knowing how to stop the escalator) because I have a horrible sense of balance (although I appear normal, within moments f meeting me you will witness my clumsy factor) impacts others! Thanks for the wake up Lily- I will press to the side even more from now on and let ya’ll normals pass!!

      1. Cass, I can relate! I walk up stairs whenever I can avoid escalators. I do walk while on the escalators, but I am so bowed up trying to time my stepping onto the thing that it is just flat embarrassing!

    2. A stopper is also prone to being magnetically attracted to doorways and narrow halls. Apparently the pull is strong enough to attract them, but repels just enough so they are evenly spaced between the opening.

    3. Oh amen sistah! I always seem to get ‘Stoppers’ in the line in front of me too…and worst of all, I seem to attract them when I’m running a bit late. (I think this morning my shoes may have squeaked as I tried to slide to a stop behind a stopper.)

      And great chapter from Love Works, by the way!

  6. I’m pretty sure I sat next to you on our flight home from LA last fall….It was the exit row…And I’m stretching to hit 5’4″. I never once thought about being considerate to leave that seat for someone else taller!! Mostly because it was 6am, I’m not usually forming complete thoughts at that hour of the morning (especially the day after working one of our events!), and I saw a familiar face and plopped myself down. My consolation is that you didn’t have to sit next to a stinky annoying stranger who might have crowded into your space. 🙂

  7. Google did a study about traffic patterns for their driverless car. They found that the best way to decrease traffic jams in urban areas was to wait until the very last possible moment to merge into an exit- or on-ramp. The fact that most people slow down to merge is what causes traffic jams (sidebar, I can not tolerate people who slow down trying to get ON an interstate). So being reckless and somewhat inconsiderate to merge at the last minute is okay when you’re driving, right?

    Perhaps, but I’d like to think something else should be at play too. Imagine if cars pushed each other (NASCAR?) to great speeds, to make it easier to merge.

    I think the same applies to the great disparities of life too. Imagine if people pushed each other to greater levels of education, work, faith, and relationships. Perhaps it is inconsiderate NOT to propel people to greater levels of success, since you not only hurt others in your inaction, but you hurt yourself through the consequences of others too.

    1. You had me at NASCAR Jon.

      I think bump drafting would help. Someone back me up on this.

      Actually now that I think of it…drafting is considered rude and unsafe. I consider it environmentally conscious. I draft, I save fuel. I am financially better off and the hole in the ozone contracts. Wins all around.

  8. As a 6’6″ guy, I can relate to the exit row scenario.

    I try to let go of these thoughts to a degree. I’m much more worried that I may be doing something that others consider to be inconsiderate.

  9. Don’t you dare pull in front of me, because this little space here? See this? It’s mine. I own the airspace behind that Accord just in front of me and you don’t get to just nudge in there because you need to pull off at the next offramp. You should’ve planned ahead better.

    Oh, so *now* you decide to signal? Now that you’re halfway in my lane already? Screw you, buddy! You want to come over, try signalling first next time. Ask permission instead of just assuming it’s your God-given right to occupy this space. Sheesh.

    Oh, what now? Slamming on the brakes? Everyone? For what? Yes, it’s an accident. IN THE OTHER LANE! GOING THE OTHER WAY! You can’t see a silly thing over there, but we all have to slow down anyway just in case. Criminitly. Like we haven’t seen an accident before.

    Wait, was that guy that just passed me in the HOV lane driving by himself? Where’s a state patrol car when you need one?

    Ugh. I’m going to be late again. And now I have to rewind the “EntreLeadership” podcast again because I got distracted and missed the last 3 minutes. Eh, sounds like the host was just blathering on about what to call Becky this week. Like I don’t have better things to listen to, like “Beyond the ToDo List”, or “Atlas Shrugged”.

    Finally. Got to the office. Oh, my boss is going to be angry today. Some idiot in a pickup parked right in front of the power outlet in the parking garage, so John’s going to run the power cable for his Leaf across this guy’s hood to charge his car to get home tonight! You’d think the guy would’ve noticed that the Leaf is always in that spot, plugged in, every single day.

    Some people’s kids.

    1. So I’m in a client’s posh meeting room, waiting for my students to arrive. I decide to get some Chris LoCurto reading in – and then I hit this comment and burst out laughing.

      Big room. Empty. Me laughing my guts out. (I did quickly clean it up.)

      I’m sorry you had ‘one of those days’ @BretWortman:disqus but at least you made my day with your bad day. 😉

  10. Your post reminded me of the Children’s Museum here in my city. When watching a group of 2-4 year old children play at a table together I have noticed that their behavior is based on who they think is watching. If child one wants a toy currently held by child two, the first thing he does is look around. Child one is looking to see how many adults are watching. Child one knows that if adults are watching he is not going to get away with taking the toy from child two but will have to wait for child two to put down the toy before he can take it and play with it. Maybe if we thought about how our actions would look to someone watching, it would make us more considerate.

  11. This week we held our Archi-TECH training program. I had (notice the word – bad attitude) to give up my very nice room for a student that booked late. I fought it internally. I wanted that room. It was on the Gold Level at the Hilton. AHHHHH. But, when I asked myself the question “Why are you doing this work? For you? Or to serve others? Didn’t you name you company Service Excellence Training?” I gladly gave him the room. Rented a car. And drove back and forth to the hotel. It was totally the right thing to do. It was being a servant. On a super positive note, he was the scout for his company, and he was blown away! Who know!? They are sending more people to the next event. They are also considering EntreLeadership. I can’t get on stage an not send love your way.

  12. “Is it inconsiderate to take up exit aisle rows when you can still fit through the small door in Alice in Wonderland?” – This deserves a “BAH!”

    Good question to ask when you start to criticize someone. What have I done to be inconsiderate to others? I’m sure that I’ve never been inconsiderate or made fun of people, especially on Twitter or blog comments 🙂 (Mark, Matt, Lily… the list goes on)

    I know that I have the tendency to be sarcastic and make jokes, even in difficult or uncomfortable situations (my wife hates when I do that). I think I’ve gotten better, but I have to make a conscious effort NOT to make a joke at the wrong time.

  13. What things do you see that are inconsiderate of others?

    I believe this happens when we fail to be empathetic over others’ feelings. We do not think from others’ angle or perception. We keep thinking in our own terms/ perception.

  14. This story is proof that Dave Ramsey doesn’t pay for first class 🙂

    Chris, you know my wife…she is 4’11.8″ (not quite five feet). I am 6’2″. It’s funny actually.

    I always want the exit row and admittedly feel bad about having her take one when she could “still fit through the small door in Alice in Wonderland” (Epic quote by the way).

    Generally speaking I am selfish and inconsiderate but I am learning and doing the little things…like stopping at the crosswalk on the running trail I frequent. I don’t have a stop sign but I always appreciate when people stop so I can keep up my pace. It’s a little thing, but each time it makes me feel better…more in touch with people I guess.

      1. To give credit where credit is due, that is from @ChrisLoCurto:disqus himself in the post 🙂

        I laughed so hard at it, breakfast came up a little. You probably didn’t need to know that. Thanks for reading.

  15. In Florida, the biggest thing I see occur that is inconsiderate is when people turn in front of you when you’re going 50mph+, and there is no one behind you. Usually, this maneuver involves no signaling, and immediately cutting across into the left lane…all while texting. Followed by going 20mph, forcing you to stand on your brakes.

    The difference between Florida and New York? We do all of the above, but at least we use our signals. We are considerate in our road rage, after all!

  16. Chris, my guess is because that couple doesn’t fall into the tall category, what tall people like you have to deal with just might not enter their heads. I know what you’re talking about only because my husband’s 6’4″. Maybe theyre not being intentionally inconsiderate…just blissfully ignorant.
    But I do think that society as a whole is becoming more inconsiderate. Just yesterday my husband and I were talking about that. Common courtesy is just not common anymore. The way people drive, the way people communicate, the way people do business. Your example reminded me how people will bypass empty bathroom stalls for the roomier handicap stall. And then the handicapped person has to wait…looking at all those empty stalls.

    1. BAH!!!! That’s it isn’t it. I have a new term. The funny thing is, if you and I were sitting in the exit row, we would gladly welcome a considerably smaller person sitting between us. Not another giant.

      Good to hear from you Carlester!

  17. One of the best measures of maturity is the ability to put oneself in the other guy’s shoes (figuratively speaking).

    Another measure is the ability to delay gratification. (remember that comedian’s video about Everything is Amazing But No One Is Happy?)

    It seems we are living in a society of really immature punks these days!

    1. Interesting. This would go to reason that smaller people, who presumably have smaller feet, would have a greater probability of fitting in the other shoes of larger people, who have bigger feet. So, small people are more mature?

      Time to do some research!

  18. I’m not sure if this fits into the conversation, but I think Inconsiderate of others, and one of my pet peeves that really get me goin: When someone comes into the room with you, but is not really with you because they’re with their ‘smartphone.’

    Or when they’re talking with you…get a ‘buzz’ from said smartphone meaning an e-mail, tweet, Facebook message just arrived, and you can see this weird glassy look fall over their eyes….was that your eyebrow twitching? Is your head slowly, but magnetically being drawn to look down at your handheld device?

    Am I no longer important to you?

    Sigh…go ahead…pick that sucker up and check your message. I, the human sitting in front of you in real time, can be put on hold. My thoughts can too.

    Sheeeeeesssshhhhhhh — not many things tick me off more than that. Sorry…I will now go and run around my block to let off steam. 😉

  19. I take the emergency row seats pretty seriously. For me – it’s would I really be able & willing to step up & open the hatch & help people out? I like to think I would. My imagination runs wild with scenarios – remembering “Lost” and “Airplane”… what bothers me about the emergency row are the people that don’t look like they care or would probably be least fit to help.
    Driving is a little different as we are all a little ego-centric are we not? Granted, oblivious self-serving people drive me bonkers, but I wonder if they “get it” or if they feel justified… in our entitled society… ?

  20. People who budge in line when people are patiently waiting… Im in HS and people do it a lot mainly this year. Inconsuderate as f***!

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