There’s always “that guy” who wants to tell you how your thing needs improvement. How you could have done it better. Why you should change what it is that you’re doing. Okay, it can be “that girl” as well. Whether it be a brother-in-law, a grandmother, a co-worker, a client, or the guy at the end of church service who waits for everyone to leave, so he can correct the pastor on his sermon. No matter who it is, most of us will grit our teeth, or bite our tongue, and say, “Wow, thanks. I really appreciate that!” Okay, maybe there’s one person out there who genuinely likes that time of criticism. Me, not so much!
However, I have discovered in all of my years of leadership, and studying personality styles, that more than not that person is trying to help. I know, you’re like, WHATEVER! But again, most of the time it’s true. They just don’t know how to express it correctly. Okay, maybe correctly is a selfish term. How about, in a way that works for the recipient?
They usually are a high task and detail kind of person who processes differently than most people. The important thing to realize is that if you learn to communicate with this person, you would be amazed at how much they have to offer. In fact, handled correctly, you can build a relationship where they feel needed, and you have someone to give great input into things you might be missing. “Well that just sounds like you’re using them.” It is, if you don’t actually have a heart and care about that person. The truth is, they LOVE to make you look good. They get pleasure out of serving. It’s just that nobody has taken the time to understand them, how they think, how they process, or why they approach situations and opportunities the way they do.
So the next time you come across this person, instead of shooting daggers from your eyes into their skull, take the time to sit down and talk out their suggestion(s) with them. How did they come to it? Why do they see it that way? What other options do they have for solutions? And then ask them if there is anything else they want to share. You will start to see this person in a whole new light. You’ll begin to see an ally instead of an enemy. Trust me…just ask them about it. :)
Have you ever had that person in your life? How did you react?