Life has become fast! Everywhere you turn people are cramming more stuff into their already overflowing days. In the workplace it’s even worse. I meet thousands of business men and women who are more stressed out than ever in their jobs. One of the down sides to that is our tendency to pass that stress on to our team in the way of yelling, and griping, and finding them always doing something wrong.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we long for man’s approval. Whether it be a team member wanting the approval of their leader, a leader wanting approval from a team, or a daughter wanting the approval of her father. You can go on and on with the scenarios, the point is, we all want approval. And when all we get is strife, it makes it just that much more important to us.
Think back to when you were a kid and you just wanted someone to tell you how great of a job you were doing. Or how much you wanted someone to come along side of you, put their arm around you, and tell you that they were proud of you. The crazy thing is, those feeling never go away. For the rest of our lives we are wanting someone to be proud of us. More importantly, we prefer that someone be a person of influence in our lives.
Because of that, many of us have a tendency to do things to get that approval. We’ll go out of our way to serve in a way that should make people notice. Or dress a certain way that will bring attention that seems like approval. For some, they will even lie or hide things in an attempt to garner that which seems so needed for their life.
And while we may even recognize that we are human and we struggle with this pain in the backside issue, for some reason we don’t always realize that we’re not alone. Why? Because the need for approval is a selfish need. Therefore, it’s more difficult to think about those around us who need it as well.
As a leader….heck, as a parent, an older sibling, or even a friend, we have to spend time understanding that people want to hear encouraging words from us just like we do from them. Our team, our family, our children want that same experience that we want, of someone putting their arm around them and saying how proud they are. Why do we not think to do that? Perhaps it’s because we’re waiting for it to happen to us.
So stop! Quit waiting for someone to come make your day. Instead, go make someone else’s. Go find at least two people today and give a little love. Now, it has to be sincere. Trust me, they will know otherwise. I think you will find two amazing things. First, how good it feels to show someone how much you admire and care for them. Second, it won’t take long before some of that love is returned.
Eh, what do I know. I could totally be wrong. But I’m not, so go do it.
Question: How have you noticed the people on your team needing your attention?