It’s difficult enough to be a great leader of people you don’t live with, but being a great leader of those you love, and are your family, is really hard to do.
There is nothing more important than your family.
Your business is not more important, your friends and neighbors are not more important. When it comes down to it, outside of God, family is the most important thing in life.
Being a parent and a leader is tough. Parenting as a leader can get confusing as well. Do you lead them like the people you do at work? Do you lead the people at work like you do your family? What’s the right way to do it? Here are 4 ways to be successful as a leader and as a parent when it comes to your children:
1. Make Your Kids Successful.
If you’ve read this blog for a while, or been to one of my speaking or coaching events, then you’ve heard me say, “It’s your job as a leader to make your team successful, not the other way around.” (Tweet that) It’s the same thing when it comes to your children.
Your job as a parent is to make your kids successful, not the other way around.
How do you do that? Ask questions. Ask your kids if there are things they don’t understand, and ask them if there are ways you can help. Do everything you can to set them up for success in life.
When you spend time understanding your children, you’ll figure out how to set them up for success. Understand their personality style. Understand their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses. Focus on doing everything you can as a parent to make it easy for your kids to be successful in the long run. That doesn’t mean you keep them from having failures. You want them to have failures. If they’re not failing, they’re not doing anything! Guide them instead. Lead them through the process. Don’t just tell them what’s wrong but help them to understand what’s wrong. Help them to understand how they failed and help them understand how to fix their problems in the future. Don’t take their head off when they make mistakes either but instead, be there for them.
2. Schedule Time With Your Kids.
It is extremely important for you as a parent to be present with your children. Way too many kids have parents who spend all of their time at work dumping their energy, thoughts, and emotions into their business and team – only to come home completely drained and unable to pour into their children. Spend time – dates, reading time, games, going to the park – whatever it is, make sure you’re being intentional about scheduling special moments.
3. Praise More.
Make sure that you’re finding your kids doing things right….and you have to do it more than you find them doing things wrong. It’s just like being a leader at work – people will repeat what they’re constantly praised for. If you’re doing nothing but taking withdraws out of their emotional bank, and you have not put in well more deposits than you have withdraws, than you will have a child who’s empty. A child who feels like they can never be good enough. A child who feels like a complete failure over and over again. All they can think about is how they’re not pleasing you enough. Spend way more time putting deposits into their emotion bank and find them doing things right. If you do this, than it’s okay from time to time to make a withdraw.
4. You’re Not Raising Kids to Be Kids; You’re Raising Kids to Be Adults.
It’s your job as a parent to develop children into adults – well adjusted, ready for society adults. You can’t do this if all do you is treat them like a 2-year-old their entire life. You have to be a leader and teach them to be responsible, to handle finances, to deal with people, and take punches when they come. You have to teach them how to fail when they fail. If you will do these things, then they’ll be ready to face the world. How many times have you seen people on TV or reality shows that were never raised to be adults? They’re children in their 30s and 40s. Why? They were never raised to be adults.
Start today by understanding that the success of your children is dependent on you. The time, energy, wisdom, love, and consistency you pour into them will create the adult they’re supposed to be.