487 | Why Character Counts (and why it gets discounted)

Chris LoCurto 0:01
Why character counts and how it quickly gets discounted that is coming up next.

Chris LoCurto 0:16
Welcome to the Chris LoCurto´s show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are. Welcome to the show, folks, hope you're having a fabulous day. Today we are talking about character. Character is kind of like the DNA of your soul. It's it's your mind, it's your will, it's your emotions, and all of these things are responsible for contributing to and creating the components of your complete character. Right? So around here, we say that character is who you are when nobody else is looking. when nobody's looking at you, who are you, we're always you know, we talked about personality styles. If you've ever done your DISC profile, if you've never done disc, get over to the website and get it done. leaders make your teams do this, it creates so much better communication. If you're looking at your DISC profile, there's always two sides to that profile. There's the natural and the adapted, the natural is who you are, when you're in your comfort zone. When you're around the people you're with all the time that people that you know your family people that you've been with, on a consistent basis, or when you're just by yourself, that's who you naturally are the adapted is who we want people to think we are a lot of the times or who people think we are a lot of the time. So we adapt when we're around people uncomfortable situations or work environments as well. Sometimes we have to adapt to our work environment, right. So we all spend most of our time and our adapted personalities. I know there's there's more to it than that. I'm just giving you a quick summary. But we spend most of our time on our adaptive profile, we can look away that we want ourselves to look we can respond the way we want ourselves to look. But here's the key. Your true character is who you are, when nobody's looking. What is that like when nobody's watching you? And so while that's true, it also bleeds into everything that you say what you do, regardless of who's around whoever's watching, whoever's not watching, right? So character is who you are, it's the real you, it's, it's no matter who's looking when or where that's who you are, it's arguably probably one of the most important assets in your life. Because your character determines how you think and believe, which in turn determines how you speak, act and behave. So this is pretty important, but it doesn't stop there. Your words, attitudes, and actions, ultimately determine the results you get out of life. Let me say that again. Your words, your actions, your attitudes, ultimately, determine the results that you get out of life. Character determines and becomes part of your purpose.

So it's not by chance that there's a reason that you and I are on this planet. Now as a, as a Christian, as a believer, I believe that God has created each of us with a specific purpose in life A, and I don't love the word destiny, but I'm going to use the word destiny to fulfill which is saying that it's predetermined, there's, there's a level of predetermined, I'm not saying everything is predetermined, please do not hear that the wrong way. But what I'm saying is, is that when God created each and every one of us, he already had a purpose for us. He already created a concept of what he wanted our lives to look like, the major part of that purpose is getting back to him and finding him to be our God, our Father, our supplier, all of those things. But there's a level, do not confuse what I'm saying. I'm not saying everything is predetermined, what I'm saying is, is that there's a level of our purpose in life that is predetermined by God. A big piece of that is, it is our purpose, to follow him to be obedient to Him. So God equips us for our purpose, putting in us all that's necessary to fulfill His mission for us. But just like anything else in life, you you have to develop those muscles. You have to develop those skills, those talents, the resources in the time that he's given you. This is what we would call good stewardship of what he's given you. Right? How do you steward what you've got? You've got to work those muscles, you've got to work those skills, those talents. So if you want to have a good, a successful and even a happy life, then you need to build your character. Improving your character is called self mastery. And we'll get to that after the break. But what you need to hear first is this and this is empowering care. character is what makes you unique. Now, some of you out there going well, I don't care about being unique.

Chris LoCurto 5:07
It's something you should at least consider right now. There's some folks who love being unique. I'm not one of those people who loves being unique. I don't look to be unique. But there is something about being unique that I do enjoy. And that's recognizing that God set me up this way. There are aspects of who I am, that he set up to be unique. Nobody else is just like me. Why? Because I'm so amazing. And I did so many incredible things to be unique. Nope. Because he made me this way. So when I look at my uniqueness, I point to him, I glorify Him, right. Another thing is that it sets you apart from others to be different, again, should your focus be on, I need to be different than others. That is not what I'm saying. If you're receiving this in a very individualistic style, very individualistic kind of way. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not trying to say you should be prideful and focused on being different from everybody else. What I'm saying is, if you recognize that God created you that way, and you focus on what He has for you, then that becomes empowering. So it's it's particular, it's, it's like your DNA characters like your DNA, it's kind of like fingerprints, your character is different. Now, what we also want to do, and according to the latest research in psychological and neurobiological sciences, we can actually do this, you can change your character, it's not fixed. It used to be thought that your character was absolutely fixed. There's aspects of your character that you can change, right? And hopefully, for the better. There's a constant goal for me, my family, our ecclesia, our friends, our team members, to grow our character in a more godly way. And what does that look like? What does that take? So character traits, or kind of like your soul's DNA markers, such as integrity, persistence, honesty, curiosity, and enthusiasm. These can all be learned, they can all be shaped no matter what age you are. So when we come back, why developing your character matters and how it changes your trajectory. Folks, if you've been listening to me for any length of time, then you know the number one issue when it comes to business, when it comes to family, when it comes to friendships, is having a lack of high quality communication, to make sure that you are absolutely winning in every aspect of your life. It all starts with having great communication, the best way to get that communication is to understand your personality style, and to understand the personality style of the folks that you're spending the most time with, whether it be at work, whether it be at home, the best way to do that is to go to Chris accredo.com/store and get your personality profile and personality profiles for your team to day get it for your family members. Today. As you go through that profile, you will begin to see the greatest ways to communicate, go to Crystal crystal.com/store today.

Chris LoCurto 8:23
Okay, let's dig into the Self Mastery part for a little bit. So if we look at the dictionary, and just go online, because I don't know if anybody actually has a physical dictionary anymore. Merriam Webster's Dictionary defines Self Mastery as the ability to control one's own desires or impulses. Now that's good, and that's powerful. But I actually really like what Collins dictionary says it defines Self Mastery as the ability to take control of one's life without being blown off course, by feelings, urges circumstances. Collins dictionary continues to say that condition whereby your body is your servant, and not your master folks, we all struggle with this. We all struggle with this. We all have been blown off are the course set before us or a course that we've set before us because of our own urges, because of our own feelings because of our, our circumstances at the time. Self Mastery is helping you to continue on where you should be going if it is where you should be going. That purpose that God has given you that trajectory that God has given you, no matter what your feelings or urges or circumstances are. Right. So what do I mean by that? I'm not saying that you can't. You shouldn't stop or slow down or make adjustments along the way. That's not what I'm talking about. What I am talking about is how many times have we been moving in a really good direction that needed patience? that needed long suffering that needed you the ability to grow and develop, and something happens and bam, we move in a different direction. One of the things we talked through in next level life and strat plan, is, listen, we're putting this plan together for you to go and knock this stuff out, make changes in your life make changes to you. But things are still going to happen, things are going to come your direction, you're going to have to make a decision. How do you handle them? When they do?

Are you going to be strong enough to deal with controlling people? Are you going to be strong enough to deal with team members leaving because something happened? Are you going to be strong enough with torpedoes that, you know, just blow up your day? If so, then you can continue forward with the plan that's going to make you healthier, you know, on the life side, if it's the business, then you can continue forward with the plan that's going to make your business healthier, your team healthier. So it's super important to recognize character is so powerful, it can keep us from getting blown off course, it kind of keeps you freed up to pursue the God given purpose in your life. If you don't have strong character, then you can't be surprised how many times feelings urges circumstances situations, actually knock you back. You know, Collins calls it blown off course we we kind of say it's getting knocked back, you know, you're taking two steps forward, and you take a step back, you take a step forward, you take three steps back, right? It keeps knocking you backwards, every time you start to advance it keeps knocking you backwards, well, if you have strong character that allows you to really focus on getting over those situations. And I think Billy Graham would have agreed with us here on the importance of character, he said, When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. Now, that might be surprising to a lot of you, but it's very true. Okay, wealth is not that great. It's not that important in life. Right? It's not, it's something that we desire. It is great to be able to pay for things, but I think you get the you understand what he's saying. When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost when characters lost, all is lost. When you lose your character, everything is lost. So we've learned that character matters. It's our unique souls DNA, if it determines your destiny or your purpose, I should say, really? I really do hate that word, Destiny. Sorry that I keep saying it. If it's so important, than why does it get pushed aside and discarded so quickly, when we come back? Why it's so easily discounted, and neglected, that is coming up next.

Unknown Speaker 12:48
Freedom, it's so powerful, I felt rejuvenated, almost renewed, I just

Speaker 2 12:52
felt so welcomed and loved and accepted for who I am, and not an ounce of judgment. So I was very comfortable there that had a really big impact on me, that's going to be worth it. It's going to be hard, but it's going to be even better. On the other side. For me, it

Unknown Speaker 13:10
was just, it was just very refreshing. And I'm gonna say lifegiving. For me, it really

Speaker 2 13:15
was, you know, I would go to next level life again. And probably again, and probably again, because it's so powerful.

Chris LoCurto 13:23
I want you to ask yourself a question. Could you hear the sense of hope and freedom and their voice is just that I want you to know, that could be you. Look, it's easy to get trapped in old habits, negative thought patterns and unhealthy relationships. It's gonna take some work, but yes, there is hope for you. If you want to experience the same kind of life transformation, this same kind of self awareness and freedom that they have or maybe you're just curious what the process would look like for you. Then head on over to Chris accardo.com/next level life

Chris LoCurto 14:01
Alright, let's get ready for a little throat punch from Helen Keller. Helen Keller says or said I should say, character cannot be developed in ease and quiet only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired and success achieved? Keller statement, something that she actually lived through, agrees with ancient wisdom. First Corinthians 927 But like a boxer I buffed up my body, handle it roughly discipline it by hardships, and subdue it for fear that after proclaiming to others the gospel and things pertaining to it. I myself should become unfit not stand the test being approved and rejected as a counterfeit. So if you do not know who Helen Keller was, she was some very amazing, amazing woman who was, I believe born maybe it happened when she was a child. But blind and deaf. And I assume mute as well. I don't actually remember that part. It's been decades since I've studied Helen Keller. So imagine what kind of world it is when you can't see anything, you can't hear anything. Right?

So if she can look at character this way, it's the absolute minimum way that we can look at it right? So remember, the Collins dictionary definition about character can prevent you from getting blown off course. Well, here in First Corinthians 927, the apostle Paul is telling us how to shape our character, it's, it's disciplined by hardships, do not let your hardships make you a victim. This is something we've been talking a lot about. As family, we've been talking about it in our, our ecclesia, our church group, about how so many times we face hardships and think of them as you know, curses, we think of them as bad things. And many times we do not recognize that God is trying to refine us through those situations. So we really need to pay attention and handle them correctly. Right? Allow it to discipline us when you go through hard, difficult, tough times, it's okay to struggle through the difficult time, but allow it to make you stronger, allow it to make you discipline. He's also saying to treat the body rigorously, folks, so many of our bad decisions come from our physical being. Think about it. How many of us are emotional eaters? How many of us have addictions, alcohol, drugs, you know, sexual addictions, whatever it is, think of how many people are driven by their physical response, right? That the physical body is driving so many of their bad decision making, allow your physical body, treat your physical body, get it under control. So you make the decisions, not your physical being, I hope, I hope that makes sense. And I hope people understand that, because there's not a human being who doesn't struggle with that. Right? Whether it's something so simple as emotional eating, and that's really not simple. It's big enough issue, to the person who is struggling heavily with drugs are struggling with sexual addiction, right? I mean, it's, it's, it's all over. So many times, we make decisions based on what our body desires. And we aren't self mastering ourselves to keep us from making bad decisions. Another thing he's saying is stay true to your principles. So discover what your principles are, and stay focused on those. Right, make sure that you're, you're honoring those. So this is self mastery. This is character development. This is spiritual transformation. And at the same time, here's reasons why character gets counted or gets discounted. It matters so much to you your purpose and those you impact. Sometimes it gets counted because of that, sometimes it gets discounted because of that. It requires you to take charge of yourself to master you. Sometimes that gets counted many times that gets discounted. I don't I don't want to have that character because it's it's having to take charge of myself having to control me, right? It's tough to do, it's much easier to slip down the wrong path. By not self mastering, right. Well, actually, like some of the bad choices I make are, you know, I don't have a problem. Emotional eating right. I don't have a problem with emotional spending. No, yes, you do. It's obviously affecting you in a way that you can recognize that you are emotionally eating or emotionally spending. Right? Yeah. So

Chris LoCurto 18:54
it's something that we need to master. Sometimes people are more concerned with not mastering themselves, because they actually are enjoying the, in the moment process of eating something or in the moment process of spending money only to regret it, you know, 15 minutes later, it's easier to neglect the hard work that we need to do so quite often. It makes it so much easier to convince myself that if I just don't worry about that character piece, then I don't have to put in the hard work. Oh my gosh, people. You know, one thing I absolutely praise my mom as we were growing up. We had a mom that made us work we had my brother and I grew up with great work ethic. We were shoveling snow all the time dropping trees in the summertime splitting it by hand to sell us firewood to put food on the table. And there was we were always doing something we never had a problem with hard work. We never had that wasn't even a thought to this day. It's just It's tough for me not to be hard at work, right. But sometimes people really, really struggle with that. That's something that wasn't instilled with them. And so it's difficult. And it also is easier to relax our guard and give up. So unfortunately, and this is, this is sad. For a lot of folks, instead of doing the hard work, it's just easier to throw their hands in the air become victims. Say that it's not that important. And just allow things to be unfortunately, what happens when tougher times come along? What happens when something bigger comes along? And instead of being able to stand and make your way through it, it just blows you over? So a big piece I want us to focus on is how do we get tougher in life? How do we get stronger in life, I praise God, that's a another thing that he's been working on us for a long, long, long time, is not looking at our situations and our circumstances that we consider to not be good ones, you know, tough ones, bad ones, difficult ones, frustrating ones. Something that God's been teaching us for a long time is to look at those situations, and then recognize that they're making us stronger. They're making us tougher. So if we will stay focused on that, then it will make it a heck of a lot easier when something tougher comes along. I can remember a time of me just complaining about 1000 frustrations I was having in a day and I was just complaining to God, you know, not mad at God, but just complaining. And I felt like I heard God say if you can handle this, how can you handle something tougher, I send your way. Cool.

Chris LoCurto 21:44
Man, that was a that was a fantastic smack upside the head. That is something I needed, especially in that moment. So Albert Einstein says weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character, if you don't have a good attitude, if you don't have a strong attitude, and you're probably not going to have a strong character. So I want to leave you with a thought from King Solomon about the inner person, the the inner you that DNA of your soul that you're developing, don't give up. Stay diligent. Proverbs 423 says, guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. If Solomon who is considered to even to this day still be the wisest person on the planet to have ever lived as telling us to do something. Well guess what? It's because it's something we tend to not do. Right? He's pointing out wisdom to us. So we need the reminder, we need the admonition. We tend to not guard our heart, that inner soul that that that character, our character, peace, we tend to be bound by our body, we tend to be slaves to its desires and patterns. But let me ask you this very important question. Is that who you want to be? Do you want to be a slave to your body's desires? If so, okay, well, then you cannot be surprised where you are. Right? If things are not going the way you want them to. Because you keep giving in and not having strong enough character and making bad decisions, then you have to just, you have to live with it. Right? You have to reconcile that that's the way things are going to be if you want things different, what does it take to self master? Anybody who has ever self mastered physical, you know, working out and training and getting through something, understands this, anybody who is who is, in a healthy way, handled their food well understands this, anybody who has created better, stronger relationships and put in healthy boundaries, understands this. So you have to do the hard work. We tend to hold each other to high standards in our businesses, because we want to see people succeed, we want to see them fulfill their purpose, we, we want to empower others to do so as well. So here's another question for you. As Martin Luther King, Jr. said, I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. So the question is, how will you be known? How will you be know? If only to your God and Heaven? How will you be known? Well, folks, that's all the time we have for today. I hope this information has helped you. As always, take this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and hopefully, advance your character to where you want it to be. And join us on the next episode.