557 | Improve How You Think For The New Year – Part 1

Chris LoCurto 0:10

Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are. Welcome to the show, folks, I hope you're having a fabulous day, wherever you are. It is the new year. And today we are talking about the importance of having a positive mindset for the new year. Now, I know, as I say that, you know, I think a lot of folks turning the corner immediately have a positive mindset in hopes of a much better year than they previously had. I know that, you know, the last handful of years, it seems like people are constantly looking forward to the next year. However, there's a lot of stuff going on in this world, and a lot of stuff going on in people's personal lives. That's affecting their mindset.

So there may be a handful of you out there that maybe a lot of you out there. I don't know, that are turning this corner going me i I'm struggling to have a positive mindset. Yes, it's a new year. But on the other hand, I know there is a lot of people that are excited about what seems like a new opportunity. Now, the funny thing is the calendar change doesn't change a whole heck of a lot, right? It's just another day, it's another year, it's just, you know, time that we are marking with things like yours, you know, a year number. The truth is what's going on in our lives is happening. So the question is, is what do we do about our mindset? You know, what is one of the things that we can absolutely change the way that we think the way that we respond, the way that we act, the things that we tell ourselves, these are things that we can absolutely change, absolutely focus on. And it's important to understand how badly a poor mindset affects you. The truth is, it's amazing how many people don't recognize how negative self talk really affects their day. It affects their relationships, it affects their work, it affects their desires and hope for the future. The short term future, the long term future doesn't, you know, any anything that you're looking forward to? It's amazing how much a negative self talk and negative mindset can absolutely affect that. And so that's one of the things we're going to talk about today is how do we get rid of that? How do we focus on a positive mindset, we've got a lot of different things that we're going to go through the first aspect of this, that I wanted to kind of talk through is understanding what your current mindset is. And by that, what I mean is, is how do you currently think, how do you face your day? What goes through your mind? What influences are you putting inside of your brain? What's causing you to think the way that you think this is something that people do not focus on for a good portion of people, few people actually focus on what they're putting into their brain, how they're facing their day, how they're starting their day, what they're allowing in?

And so what we have to start doing is asking ourselves, what is our current mindset? What is our current way of thinking? What is it? What is our current thinking patterns? You know, do I spend my day focused on how I can make this the best day possible and, and looking for opportunities and looking to adapt and change? Or am I spending my day focusing on? Well, there's another thing that didn't work out? Well, that's probably not going to happen? Well, that bills coming up soon, I don't know how I'm gonna pay for that thing. Man, I can't get these team members to do anything. I can't get my family to operate the way that I want it to. Where's your where's your mindset? What are your current thinking patterns? Do you have a tendency to look at your life or your situations? As a victim? Do you have a tendency to look at your life and situations as things that are happening to you that you don't really have any any control over? Do you tend to look at your personal life as something where you keep losing, you keep being affected in negative ways that you're just not winning? Things aren't going the way that you want them to? I mean, the truth is, if you do on any or all of those, then you're a good portion of the world. You're a good portion of the population. Because a lot of people spend a lot of time focused on negativity. Negative thoughts.

So where are your Where are your thoughts right now? What are your thoughts focused on as you're hearing this? Is it creating negative thought patterns in your mind right now or positive ones. Are you looking forward to having the ability to fix things? Or are you thinking that this is just going to be another thing that's gonna be more work? And you're gonna have to just do you know, more steps into something that you really don't want to do in the first place? What's your brain focused on? How many times are the thoughts going through your head? limiting beliefs? How many times are you telling yourself that you're not good enough, you're not going to be able to accomplish the things you want to accomplish. Your dreams aren't going to get where you want them to be. Today, something bad's just gonna happen, you're not going to be able to get that promotion, you're not going to get your team to operate the way that they should. Your spouse doesn't love you the way that she or he should. Your kids don't, you know, respect you the way that they should? How many limiting beliefs on money, finances, you know, I'm never gonna make enough money. I'm not as smart as the other people who are, you know, making money or having the promotions that I should have? How many things inside of your mind are limiting beliefs? How many thoughts are you conjuring up in a day, that is telling you that you're not good enough that you're not worthy enough that everybody else is able to do what they're doing. But doesn't matter how much education you get? experience you get, you're just never going to be like they are. limiting beliefs are horrid. When it comes to your mindset, their absolute negativity. Now, you're never going to hear me say everything should just be you know, roses, and you know, rose colored glass views and all that kind of stuff. That is not something that you will ever hear from me. I don't ever want you to paint a picture of something that's just totally fake. I don't want you to set a different reality. Unless it's a reality that you're setting that you're moving toward. And you know, that you have to do work for it. Right, that it's something that you want. But to say that everything is fine. This is this is you know, for me, I'm concerned about two things for you personally, which is your self worth, and your self respect. You know what, I don't care about? You, you're self esteem. I could care less about your self esteem. Oh, Chris, that's so mean. And rude. No, it's not. No, it's not.

What am I saying? Self esteem is something that was created, I think, I believe in the 90s by teachers, to help kids feel good about themselves that were doing bad things. If they're making bad decisions or in bad choices, and, you know, whatever it was, then it was a way of being able to look at themselves and go, I'm still okay. Now, listen, that, to me, is just pure crap. If you're making bad choices and bad decisions, telling yourself that everything is okay, is a bad, false reality. Why? Because it's something that enables you to continue to do bad choices or have bad choices make bad decisions. What we should be doing is looking at our situation with reality, and understanding what's going on so we can make better decisions, how do we fix it? If what I need for myself is to convince myself that everything is okay, when you know, the things I'm doing is causing my world to fall apart? Then how am I ever going to become stronger? How am I ever going to make better decisions? How am I ever going to change me? I'm not. So things we have to realize is is that if we are doing things incorrectly, if we are having negative thoughts, if we are having negative self talk, if we are doing things that are affecting us in a in a bad way, having bad choices, bad decisions, then we have to understand that the consequences are drawing on ourselves are most likely our fault. So sitting there and trying to convince ourselves that everything is okay is a bad thought pattern. It is not a quality thought pattern, trying to convince yourself that you know nothing is bad and everything's going to be roses is a bad thought pattern. That is not the same as a positive mindset. That is a mindset that is you lying to yourself about what your reality currently is. A positive mindset is recognizing your reality and finding ways to actually make your situation better convincing yourself that you can change things and looking for ways to do so. That is more of a positive thought pattern. Man, I'm my situation sucks right now. And without a job, I've had 510 interviews, nobody's wanting to hire me, I suck. I'm terrible, poor me, poor me. You know, my worlds just gonna fall apart. Well, that's not actually going to fix anything.

That's not going to make your life better. But you know what else is not gonna make your life better? While I've had 10 interviews, nobody wants to hire me and I am just great. Things are gonna be fine. I don't need a job. I don't have to have a job right now. I can just live off of other people or, you know, whatever, I can find a way to survive by convincing myself that I don't actually have to go to work and keep looking for interviews. I don't have to keep going on interviews, those crazy people should like me, I'm, I'm amazing. No, that's not good quality, thought patterns either. Well, would be a better thought pattern. Wow. This has been difficult. This has been tough. It's been tougher than I thought it was. It's been 10 interviews, guess what I need to do, I need to go for 40 more than I need to keep pounding every stinking door I possibly can. I need to be realistic. Maybe I don't have the skill set for the 10 interviews I've been on. Maybe I'm overqualified for those 10. Maybe I need to be more realistic of where I'm looking. Maybe I need to be more realistic about the the dollars, the dollar amount I'm looking for. I need to keep going. Even if I have to go work three jobs to put food on my table and put a roof over my head until I find something that will work for me that isn't three jobs, you know, that makes up the the amount of money that I need. I can take a hard look at my budget and find places that I can cut instead of my $5 coffee that I'm getting on the way to my interviews are on the way to work that I used to do, maybe I can find a cheaper way of doing this, you know, whatever it is a positive mindset, a positive thought pattern doesn't deny your current situation. And it sure as heck doesn't put rose colored glasses on either. Right? So what we have to do is we have to start by setting kind of a foundation foundation for positive change. And one of the things that tends to surprise people. And it's funny, it's because you've you've heard it before, but people just don't think I should do that. I should actually spend time focusing on this thing that Chris is saying right now. Because they think I hear you, but that's really not going to change a whole lot for me. Yes, it will. T

The thing that we're going to start with is the power of gratitude. The power of positive affirmations. Gratitude is one of the most important things in having a positive mindset. Why is that? Because when you are not grateful. Where's your brain? What's your thought patterns? When people are not grateful? They are focused on all the negativity they're focused on themselves. They're very selfish and self centered. The least grateful people are incredibly selfish, self centered, even narcissistic, very focused on themselves very focused on how they're victims to everything very focused on how everything is happening to them in their lives. Those who are grateful people who are focused on being grateful, tend to be able to allow negative things to roll off their back. tend to be able to see negative situations recognize them for what they are see the reality and then figure out a way to solve it or put healthy boundaries in place or do whatever and allow the negativity of the situation to roll off their back. What does it mean to be grateful? Well, I will tell you, as somebody who is a believer in God, I am grateful I am constantly pointing out in thanking him. For all the amazing blessings. I shouldn't even say all I probably touch 1% of the amazing blessings that He gives me in my life. I spend time thanking God, our prayers and our family prayers. I don't know it's single time that they don't start off with thanking God for stuff. I don't know when they don't make up a good portion of the prayer time thanking God for stuff. In fact, one of the things that I teach people when they are you know, new Christians are struggling with how to pray to God. So I give them an old process of the 15 Minute prayer spend Five minutes, praising God, spend five minutes telling God how amazing he is, how incredible it is the things that he's blessed you with, list off the things that he's blessed you with and you're grateful for thank him for the fact that the sun comes out and we have food to put on our table and he's created beauty around that you can step outside and and recognize and experience and thank him for the rain that falls from the clouds the snow that falls from the clouds lot of you probably won't thank him for that one. kid from snow country? Yes, I do. Thank him for the time that you get to spend with family and friends thank him for the house, their roof that's over your head all but Chris, you don't understand what I live in my house is falling apart.

Do you have a roof over your head, there's a ton of people who don't, there's a ton of people who are not in your situation for the love. Be thankful for it. In fact, let's slap some reality in there, start recognizing how much better off you have it than a large portion of the world's population. Now, I am not talking about all of this crazy, talk about how you know, rich people are horrible and poor people you know, that don't work and don't do anything and work, you know, five hours a week, how horrible their life is. I'm talking, I believe if you're listening to this show, there's a 98% chance you're somebody who is willing to bust your butt to get things accomplished in life. You're not looking for any handouts, you're not looking to blame anybody. But sometimes we do. Sometimes we have those thought patterns, right? Sometimes we have those thought patterns that the guy next door has it better than I do? Well, he's got the bigger house and three cars in his garage, and they're all better than our cars, and yada, yada, yada, yada, right? Stop comparing yourself to anybody. Stop comparing yourself to anybody on the planet. You aren't supposed to be like anybody else on the planet. You are supposed to be the best version of yourself. While being a disciple following Yeshua, Jesus would be the name that most people column by following his example, and the things he tells you to do. That's what you're supposed to be. You're not supposed to be the same person, as the guy who lives next door to you. You're supposed to be the best version of you. And by the way, if he's got a bigger house, or she's got a bigger house, and more cars and all that kind of junk. Guess what, they probably have more problems too. I've been on both sides of this, folks. I've been where we were eating government cheese as kids and I've been where I've made a whole lot of money. And I can tell you, if you've if you're convinced that money is going to make you happy and make you grateful, you are dead wrong. Gratefulness comes from your heart, not from the things that are parked in your driveway.

Gratefulness comes from a desire to see the things that you're blessed with, not from a bigger house, not from a bigger bank account. You've got to start by recognizing how blessed you already are. You need to recognize what God is doing currently in your life. Now, keep in mind, sometimes God wants to bless you with great things. You know, if you are a parent who knows how to give good gifts, think of how much better your Father in heaven is at giving you good gifts. But also understand our definition of good isn't necessarily the same as his sometimes the best gift he can possibly give me is something that hurts is painful is difficult to go through and slaps me right upside the face. If I recognize, I learned, I grow, I change things in my life. So much of the growth that I've exhibit the reason why I'm doing this show, the reason why we do what we do is because God has taught me over and over and over again, so many things on how to fix change, do differently in life. And then he taught me how to teach people to do it. You wouldn't have a great host of the show. If I complained about all the negative things that I've experienced in life all the painful things that I've experienced in life.

Instead, I recognize that pain and difficulty is something that God uses Quite often, to get people to grow. So the person who's willing to grow, will grow. The person who's willing to look at the negative situation, according to man will grow. But if all we do is looking at difficult and painful situations, it's things that suck. What are we ever going to grow and get out of them? How are we going to grow and get anything out of them? Well we have to do is start with being grateful for everything we have. I praise God for difficult situations that he's allowed me to walk through. I praise God that I've had difficult situations that seemed like they were never going to end. And then when they did end, it showed me something that was a blessing from God. I'm in the middle of crappy, difficult situations. My right now, ones that are evil, where somebody is trying to do something that's just straight, evil, and terrible. But instead of crying and whining about it, I continue to pray and recognize and the funny thing is, is I walked through the process and felt like God showed me something. You know, I say the Lord's Prayer, often, that's the beginning of many of my prayers, my my long prayers with God, when I'm praying with God by myself, or praying with God with with my wife, our daughter, that is something that we will start off with a lot, in that I'm asking God to forgive me of my sins, as I forgive those who sin against me. The crazy thing is, we have somebody who is sinning against us right now, and has been for over a year. And it's something that we have been working with God on to be grateful about, to pray that we get favor in this situation. Interestingly, during this process, I felt like God pointed out, hey, you know, as I was praying the Lord's Prayer, you know, forgive us our sins, forgive me, my sins, I forgive those who sinned against me. In the midst of that, I felt like I heard God say, somebody's sinning against you right now. And I went, Oh, my goodness.

You know, I've always thought that prayer, If something of forgiving people in the past, you know, this happened to me in the past, I can forgive those people. It may take me 4000 times, but I just need to keep forgiving them, right? Keep doing it, keep doing it, keep doing it. And never really thought about it. In the moment when somebody's doing it to me, in the moment, currently. And that allowed me during this still difficult time to start praying for not against which I want to do all the time. But instead praying for these people that are trying to hurt us, that are trying to steal from us that are trying to that are literally doing evil. I mean, it's abundantly clear. It allowed me to, instead of sitting there and being a victim to the situation, which technically we are, we're absolutely victims to the situation. But instead of sitting in victim mentality, or complaining, or or we've been working on forgiving during the process, we've been working on growing closer to God in our relationship, by forgiving those who are current not only who have sinned against us, but are currently doing so. You see, there's an important thing that I learned through this process, and I've known it, but this really impacted it. How can I ask God to forgive me of my sins, if I'm not willing to do the thing he's asking me to do which is to forgive others? Now I don't, I really don't care if that just rubs you the wrong way. And you're like, man, people with injustice, you should just go and you know, take them to the train depot or train station, whatever that thing is on that show. You should really hurt him back or do whatever it is disgusting to see people hurting other people. Don't return evil with evil, don't repay evil with evil, right? Instead, focus on what is God doing? What is he doing right now in this situation? That he's allowing this to happen? I know we're not wrong. It's been made abundantly clear that this is something that's evil that's happening. I'm aware of that. God can fix it anytime. But he's allowing it to play out for some reason. Why? I don't know. But interestingly enough, in the last couple of weeks, one of the things I feel like he may be doing is using this to get truth into those people. I don't know. It could be but he'd be willing to allow us to go through difficult painful stuff so that we can learn how to forgive Are people even better? Yep. What are we doing it allowing us to go through difficult and painful stuff so that he can get truth into somebody else's life? Yep.

So in the middle of a difficult situation, instead of being a victim instead of crying poor me, I've been praying for God to revealed to me why he's not letting this go. And if he doesn't reveal that, then help me in the process. How should I face this? Where should my mind be? Where should my heart be? And the amazing things that have come out of it, believe it or not, our gratitude, aspects of gratitude. Yes, I can pray to God, thank you for allowing me to go to this sutra, thank you for allowing us, my wife and I to go through this situation. It's disgusting, it's evil, it's terrible. But for some reason, you're allowing it, we're going to trust you, Lord. We're going to trust you how to fantastic text from a young lady recently that was asking about the time that David was in Psalm three, when David is crying out to the Lord, that his enemies are coming after him. You know, what should he do, and you know, the struggle of these people that want to kill him. And yet, he's so thankful that God is protecting him, he lays his head down at nighttime. And when he wakes up, he's still alive. Now. This is a time where his own son, Absalom has gotten all of the armies of Israel to go against David, to go kill him, find him and kill him. That's a whole lot of people coming to kill one person, imagine if just one person was stalking you to kill you, right? That'd be stressful, and you knew about it, that'd be stressful enough. But here, what we're seeing is, is that it's a whole army of people coming against him. And what is David's outlook, the stress that he must have been experiencing had to have been immense, I cannot say that I've ever experienced anything, that's stressful in my life, it had to have been just insane. People wanting to kill him every single second of the day. And yet he praises God, and he trusts God. And he's grateful to God, that every day he puts his head down, he wakes up and he's still alive. Gratitude is one of the most foundational and important things.

If you're ever going to have a positive mindset. It's one of the most powerful things that you can do to change the way you see you, your life, your situations, God the world, everything. So start small. Start by, oh, I don't think I finished the 15 Minute prayer. What I tell people to do is five minutes praising God, start small, thank Him for everything you can think of. If you can think of you know, as I'm recording this, I'm looking out at two woodpeckers that just landed on trees around me and they are just beautiful. And I think of how gorgeous it is to see the nature to see all the birds that are flying around to see the clouds that are gently rolling through the sky and the sun that is blasting down. I'm very thankful for this. I'm grateful. There have been the last couple of weeks a massive mess out of 1000s of these small black birds that have been, you know, staying on our property and they're just they're the sounds that they make is they're all calling and I don't know what they're doing chirping, whatever, but it's just beautiful. I'm so thankful for that. And thankful for the roof over our head. I'm thankful for the family that we have. There's so many things start small. Start thanking God for everything you can think of five minutes. Praise God, five minutes. Pray for other people. Why is that? Chris? Well, the crazy thing is, is when you're thinking and focused on other people, it makes it incredibly difficult to be selfish and self centered. When you're praising God and praying for other people, it changes your thought patterns. You think about yourself less you think about your problems, less. Pray for other people. Think about those folks that are under you that are sick right now. Think about those folks around you that are going through difficult times themselves. Pray for the people that are sinning against you. If that's happening, pray for the people that have sinned against you. Focus on other people make other people more important than yourself. spend five minutes doing that. Finally, spend five minutes praying for you. Yes, it is okay to pray for yourself. If you've come out of some of those jacked up religions that tell you that it is not okay.

Well, then that actually goes against the Bible. That is not scriptural. I don't want you to be self focused on You know, Lord, give me that Ferrari I've always wanted. That's not what I'm talking about. Pray for the things that you know, create that relationship with God, about where you are. Your shoe has already pointed out that God knows what you need. He knows what you need. He's going to take care of those things as he sees fit. Pray for stronger relationship with Him, pray for greater understanding about him. Pray for truth, there is so much deception that has been preached out there, even in churches nowadays. There's so much deception being preached out there. Pray that He reveals His truth to you. Pray that He tells you what he wants you to know, right? That he reveals these things to you. Pray for health, pray for healing, pray for gratitude. Pray for him to give you favor in negative situations at church, but whatever it is, it's okay spend time praying for you. But if you're grateful, and you focus on other people, before yourself, what you'll discover is, your prayer time for you is less about things that you feel like you need, like stuff, and more focused on the things that are important, like spiritual growth, start with gratitude set that foundation. Many people today aren't living well, because they're stuck in painful patterns of anxiety, fear, negative self talk in other struggles that keep happening, that maybe you and you wish you would stop, you may lash out at people, you may shut down in conversations, you may feel like you always have to defend yourself, and just not feel good enough.

You may even be losing trust in yourself. seeking counseling, advice from friends or tons of self help books aren't helping, and not much about you is changing for the better. The thing is, we're blind to what's causing these patterns and struggles. And that's why we carry them with us wherever we go. But when we get clarity on the why, and grow awareness of our emotions in thinking, that's when great change happens. And that is why we created next level life. If you feel stuck in patterns, you can't change, go to Chris LoCurto.com/next level life. That's Chris LoCurto .com/next level life. Next thing I want you to focus on is things you can do to improve your thinking. And one of the most important things that I think you know that we teach in our business is what we call battling the lies with the truths, you've got to start changing the narrative in your head when it's negative. If all you're hearing is negative self talk, if all you're hearing is victim mentality, if all you're hearing is, you know, your your everything is happening to you and you're out of control. You got to start changing that narrative. And one of the things that we do with this is what we call battling the lies with the truth. What does that mean? There are certain things that you're telling yourself, everybody, everybody, everybody lies to themselves. That negative self talk in your head, quite often is not 100% truth. It's not that some parts may not be true. But usually it's ridiculousness, right? Usually, it's bad lies, you're not good enough, nobody's ever going to love you, you'll never make enough money to take care of, you know, a spouse, you're never going to have that dream job that you've always wanted. You're never going to have a good enough house, whatever it is, there's always these negative things that we tell ourselves that we lie to ourselves about. And the thing is, is you can't battle the lies what I tell people, what we tell people is you don't battle the lie with the opposite of the thing. You're saying, I'm not good enough. Yes, I am good enough. Oh, I've solved that I can move on. Because the truth is rarely ever, the opposite of the lie.

So what we do, and again, I'm giving you a short version of this, we go into this in heavy detail and next level life. The short version is when you're telling yourself a lie. You have to find out why don't battle the lie with the truth. Discover the reason you're telling yourself the lie. I'm never gonna make enough money to you know, be good enough. While that's a lie, you don't know if that's true or not. You're setting a reality that doesn't exist yet you still have the rest of your life. So the question is, you don't just go yes, I will make enough money. You ask yourself, Why am I telling myself that? What's happening in my brain and this is where you start to Really take control and understand what's at the thought patterns that are happening, you get you get mindful of the thought patterns that are happening in your brain right now. What am I saying? Why am I saying this? Why am I saying that I'll never make enough money? Well, the truth is because I am looking at my neighbor, or I'm looking at the guy that I work next to, or I'm a business owner, and I'm comparing myself to a friend of mine who owns a business that's, you know, five times the size of mine, whatever it is, I'm comparing myself, and I'm thinking that I'll never be as good as them. Therefore, I'll never be good enough. Because I'll never make enough money. And money's the thing that makes me good enough. If I can have a successful business, like so and so then I'll be good enough. Well, folks, that's a lie. Why is that a lie? And here's where the truth comes in. And you have to actually start ripping this narrative apart. Why am I telling myself that? Is it truth? Is it a lie? If it is truth? Why is it truth? What makes it truth? If it is a lie, what makes it a lie? And one of the things that you could do is start pulling that lie apart? By asking yourself is that truth? Is it truth that I'll never make as much money? You know, I'll never make enough money to be good. Well, no. Well, how do I know that? Well, there's this crazy guy that tells me that my worth is not based on how much money I make. Oh, so your worth isn't based on how much money you make? No, then why do you keep telling yourself it is? Well, because that's what the world says. People are so infatuated with money and how much money you have and your successes, is predicated on how much money you make. And if you're not making a ton of money like everybody else, and you're just not as as successful. I mean, look at how we, you know, promote those who've become phenomenally successful. And when we look at what success is, it's based on how much money they've made.

The crazy thing is, how many times do you ever look at the families of those people that have made so much money now jacked up? Are they how jacked up was, are their lives? How messed up? You know, how many divorces have they experienced? How many kids have gone just haywire? Yeah, but they made a ton of money. So what? That's not success in God's eyes. God's not looking at that and going, Man, I'm so proud of you for making, you know, a billion dollars, we should have done better with your kids who seem to have gone off the rail. But hey, I'm more impressed with your money. God's never gonna say that. That's not success to God. So why is it success to you? Well, because everybody else says it is. So what is it more important to you that your kids don't have a good relationship with you that your spouse is struggling in relationship with you, but you're putting tons of money in the bank. We're not talking about putting food on the table, we're not even talking about making a good nest egg. We're talking about this focus that says I have to make tons of money, or I'm not good enough. Folks, your worth is never going to be based, and how much money you make. Period. It just won't. Now to a company, your worth will be based on how much productivity you you have, how productive you are. But that's different than the people around you, the world around you, your friends around your spouse, whoever it is looking at you and going, Oh, you only made six figures. You're just not good enough. You need to be making 789 10 Wow, you've got a job that only pays you $35,000 A year you suck. Nope. In fact, it's a very interesting thing. As we've had people come through next level life we've had over 500, and some odd people that have come through next level life. Whenever this discussion comes up, about a parent that worked a ton and was never home and they didn't have good relationship with their kids. I always asked the adult because this is now an adult sitting in the chair who's going through next level life. With this situation. I always ask him, Hey, would you have rather them not make all that money and buy you all that stuff and have all those vacations and spend more time with you? And unequivocally there's never been a time? Not one single time? Has anybody said? No. I'm very glad with the stuff I got. I'm glad with the crap and the vacations every single time listen to me parents.

Every single time the answer has been nada rather had more time with my dad, I'd rather had more time with my mom, every single time. There's never a time and adult has told me that they're super glad that their parent wasn't home that they were out making money so they can have stuff, not a one. Every single time it's been, I wish I'd have spent more time with that parent. So things you've got to understand is these lies that you're telling yourself, I have to work, you know, 90 hours a week, because that's how I'm going to take care of my kids, my kids are going to super appreciate me because I was such a great provider. Nope. What you're going to find out and I'm not talking again, we're not talking about, you know, a situation where you're just so debt strapped and you have no choice but to go work 90 hours, if that's where you are, go work 90 hours, I'm talking about the the person who or people who don't have to work 90 hours, but they keep convincing themselves that more more, more, more more, is going to make them more worthy, and their kids are going to think so highly of them later on in life. Now they won't. I promise you, they won't. Don't believe me, go talk to him.

Ask him would you rather have more stuff in vacations or more time with me? Go ask him and see what they say. I might just change your the way you look at how you work, how many hours you work, or what your goals are in life. So we've got to start breaking down these lies in telling ourselves so the light comes in. Here's the lie. If I don't make enough money, I'm not going to be good enough. Whatever it is, there's 14 billion different lies that we tell ourselves. I'm not going to go through all this. Just use this example. I'm never gonna be good enough. I'm never gonna make enough money to be good enough. This is my reality. Nope, that's not the reality that is a lie. What makes it a lie? Because that's not truth. My worth isn't based on how much money I make. Uh huh. There's the truth. I will be good enough. Regardless of whether or not I become a multimillionaire. I will be good. My wife thinks I'm good enough. My kids think I'm good enough. God thinks I'm good enough to send his son to the cross, to give me the opportunity to have eternity with Him. So it's a lie. And here's the truth. Why is this technique so important? Because this is what helps you to start crushing the negative self talk in your brain. When you do this, there are plenty of people who do this and have found it is crazy powerful for how they face every day. You know the the narrative in their head. There are people who know how to do this, but choose not to do it, and struggle with negative self talk all the time, I'm going to suggest to you go ahead and do this. Make this make this something that's important in your life. So that you can start overcoming the negative self talk as fast as you possibly can.

Speaking of thinking, that's my nice little transition right there. As a long time small business owner myself, I get it. Running your own show means wearing a gazillion hats. One minute, you're crunching numbers, the next year solving a team issue, and the next, you're working hard to keep customers happy. It's a roller coaster, isn't it? Well, here's the thought ever noticed how understanding yourself a bit better, can make all this well. Simpler. That's where self awareness steps in. It's like having a secret weapon that helps you tackle those everyday challenges with a bit more ease and a lot less stress. Imagine knowing exactly what makes you tick, what fires up your team, and how to keep your cool even when things get hectic. That's the power of self awareness. It's not just good for you. It's great for your business. And guess what? You can dive deeper into this at the next level leadership live event happening April 17 through the 19th. Here in Franklin, Tennessee, it's the perfect place to explore how self awareness can transform your business and make your life a little easier. So why not join us? Sign up now at Chris LoCurto.com/events.

Remember, that's April 17 through the 19th. Visit Chris LoCurto.com/events To take advantage of early bird pricing. We'll see you there. Well, folks, I have so much more to cover on this topic. It's going a heck of a lot longer than I thought it would. So I'm gonna bust this up into two different episodes. And I'm going to come back and finish some of the techniques that we're talking about and go into a few other things to help you change your mind for a positive mindset in the new year. Well I hope this information has helped you today as always take this information change leadership change your business change your life and join us on the next episode Transcribed by https://otter.ai