Feedback can seem useless and unproductive when not received well, or given by someone unhealthy.
Today, I will be guiding the leader YOU are in how to receive quality feedback; inviting it to be productive on both sides so your leadership can grow, with your team.
Continue reading for full transcript:
Chris LoCurto:
It’s hard for us as leaders to get this right, but when we do, it’s one of our greatest opportunities. More on that coming up next.
Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are.
Hey folks, welcome to the show. I have a question for you. Have you ever been in a situation or a conversation or whatever where going into it, you knew that it could either be phenomenal or it could suck a lot, like it might just be terrible. You remember that feeling? It’s like the worst feeling ever because you really have no clue. You don’t know what’s going to happen. Last last week’s episode I told you about, uh, one of the powerful pieces of my racing that helped me to gain great perspective on how to be a better race car driver. For those of you that don’t know I race formula cars this week, I’m going to tell you about a similar type of situation and that is the anticipation of turn one in a road race. Now, for those of you that don’t know it, uh, formula cars, what we do is we don’t race ovals.
We do like a couple of ovals, but we don’t do the whole oval. We do like 90% of it. We come off the walls a couple of times and do the road courses in side the tracks come back out, hit the level. Most of the time we’re just racing road courses, which means that we have multiple elevations, multiple turns. There’s times we’re flying like crazy. You have to slam on the brakes and turn, drop a bunch of gears, turn the car, get going again, all that kind of fun stuff. Well, with every formula car race, there is one hairy hairy place and that is turn one. Now in regular races throughout the season, uh, sometimes you’re going in to turn one in. You’re well ahead of people. There’s been many times that I’ve been, you know, the lead car going into turn one, so I’m not really that crazy worried about it.
Or sometimes I’m behind the lead cars and going into turn one because somebody just better than me and they get a much greater jump and they’re good to go. However, in a championship race, it’s a completely different story. That is the time where everybody racing is really good. So everybody at the front is doing a really good job. Uh, they’re all pretty equal. So you know that when you get down into turn one, everybody else is there at the same time. It is not like spread out or a couple of cars, you know, going into it smoothly and taking off. We’re all heading into this funnel and having to slam on our brakes and turn some direction and it can be hairy. It can be scary. I remember my very first championship race, how I was stressed out ahead of time because I know me and I know that I’m not backing off , and we happen to race open-wheel cars, which means if any of us touch somebody going up, and that’s the scariest thing.
That’s why open wheel cars are so dangerous. So it adds that element of stress. Uh, as you go into that turn of, gosh, I hope we don’t touch, but I’m also gonna fight like crazy to get through that turn and, and get out ahead of everybody else. This can be exactly how you feel. That kind of stress, that kind of freaking out, that kind of, you know, not knowing what’s going to happen when you know somebody is trying to give you feedback. This could put both leaders and team members. Doesn’t matter who you are, spouse, spouse, in-laws, parents. It really doesn’t matter. This is one of those things that can put you in a very difficult spot, if you struggle with receiving feedback. Now I’m going to tell you I don’t know anybody. I don’t know anybody who doesn’t struggle at some level with receiving feedback like neither one.
I do know a lot of people who struggle really hard with receiving feedback, right? So in last week’s episode, a episode 348, we talked about one of the most important principles in leadership in business is that if you get high quality feedback, it opens up visibility. Opening up visibility gives you greater opportunity. It creates greater opportunity. But getting that feedback and getting that visibility isn’t always easy. So if you haven’t listened to that episode, hit pause, go back now, because this episode will be building off of the principles we covered in that episode. So one of the best ones, assuming that you’re still with me now, one of the best ways to create visibility and opportunity in your leadership and in business is through high quality feedback. But man, I can tell you this, leaders mess this up all the time. So today is your crash course, which no pun intended on that one.
Now if you can get this right, it can change a lot for you as a leader, as a team member, as a business owner, it can change your teams morale, we can change your team’s productivity. They’re buying. All of those things can also change your clients. It can change your bottom line, right? So if we can do this right, then it can help us to grow in every aspect of our leadership and our business. Now, the reason we can mess this up is because so many times as a leader, we didn’t have a very healthy leader who was teaching us how to receive quality feedback, right? Who was teaching us how to grow from getting good quality feedback in the how to put in healthy boundaries and avoid the crappy feedback? Right? So, so often we learn in model from our leaders that weren’t healthy.
So I’m going to start with sharing what receiving feedback is not. But before we do that, I want to share about our next level leadership live event. Folks on April 29th through May 1st I cannot wait to host the fifth annual Next Level Leadership Live Event here in Franklin, Tennessee. Now in three days, you’ll learn how to scale your business the smart way, grow your revenue, build team unity, create a solid culture and show your team how and where to focus to win. Now, the content you’ll get at this year’s event is designed to make sure you have a healthy, well-rounded business. It will help you find solutions that actually work for your team, your growth and your business. There’s a lot more info and until September 30th you can get a great discount on your tickets. So learn more at chrislocurto.com/liveevent. Again, that’s chrislocurto.com/liveevent or text live event, all caps, one word to the number 44222 again, that’s live event all caps, one word to the number 44222.
So receiving healthy feedback is not arguing. It’s not your point being made. It’s not being defensive or an opportunity to defend yourself. It’s not mentally finding a reason to write the person off. It’s not thinking you’re smarter than the person. It’s not planning what you’re going to say in response while the person speaks and it’s not an assault on who you are. If any of those are popping up inside of you, then you’re struggling with receiving healthy feedback. Now let me throw in the caveat again on the last episode I had the couple of caveats in there and the big one that I’m throwing in here is that you keep hearing me say healthy feedback. So we’re not talking about that toxic family member who’s trying to set your reality or that unhealthy friend who’s telling, and giving you all the advice on stuff that’s you just know is not good.
We’re talking about healthy feedback. So that’s the caveat as we go through this. If you’re struggling with any of those pieces that I just mentioned and it’s quality, healthy feedback, then you’re the problem. You’re the one who has to solve receiving the information right now, if it’s somebody who’s trying to set your reality, somebody is trying to control you, somebody who just wants to demean you, then put a healthy boundary in by not receiving it. But make sure you understand the difference. And the reason why that’s important is because receiving healthy feedback is an opportunity to grow. Remember what I’ve talked about receiving that healthy feedback gives you visibility, which allows you to create more opportunity. Most people have a lot of experience giving feedback, but very little in receiving it. So I can promise you this. If you’re a leader who does not pursue feedback, uh, then you’re actually not going to be very good at receiving feedback as well.
So here’s how you can know if you’re good or not. So good at receiving feedback. Ask yourself these questions. How often do you ask team members for feedback? Is it often, is it something that you avoid like crazy? Um, are you trying not to get feedback? I know that there have been people in my life as a team member when I’ve had leaders that if I tried to give feedback immediately, like would cut my head off. I mean just boom. They didn’t want feedback and it taught me very quickly to anticipate that’s not something I should be doing. They don’t want it. They don’t want to hear it. Get on with doing what I’m doing. Well, guess what? If you’re struggling with that, then you’re not getting that quality feedback. Now that’s assuming that the feedback I was giving it was quality, but they don’t know.
Right? Because they immediately cut my head off and that was it. It was over with. So I stopped. I stopped giving quality feedback. Can you name two things you’ve changed based upon the feedback you’ve received? If you can’t think of things that you’ve changed in your leadership personally as a team member that you’ve gotten from feedback from other people, that might mean that you’re not getting a whole lot of feedback. That might mean you’re either not getting feedback or you’re choosing not to do anything with the feedback you’re getting. Do you get nervous or do you look at it as an opportunity when people are sharing feedback? I can tell you for me, I’m constantly asking for feedback, whether it’s in our meetings, whether it’s in events, it doesn’t matter what it is. I’m always looking for feedback. With my leadership team. I always believe in taxing the collective intelligence, so I’m always looking at what do you think about this?
What do you think we can do here? How can this be better? How can we change this? So take a look at that. Are you nervous about people sharing feedback or are you excited about the opportunity that you could change and grow? Also, do you worry about what your team members think about you or that they may have a complaint that they’re not voicing or do you feel like you don’t know where you stand with your team? If these are concerns that you have, if these are things that you’re worried about, then it’s probably pointing to the fact that you don’t get a lot of quality feedback from your team or seek it. Now, again, once again, let me inject the caveat here. If you’ve got a team that doesn’t give healthy feedback, they just want to give you crappy feedback or set your reality or whatever, then okay, I get that right, but if you have a healthy team that gives healthy feedback and you’re worried about it, then I understand why you’re worried.
But once again, that worry is not helping you because these are all assumptions. You don’t even know the truth. So get in there and get some feedback. Now we’re going to dive into six steps to receiving feedback. This is a fantastic repeatable process, so don’t worry about remembering each step and you know the right questions to ask. You can get the free PDF download. If you go to chrislocurto.com/349 so we’ll have that for you and you can have all of these different steps that I’m going to talk about right now. So the six steps to receiving feedback. Number one, commit to listen. Probably the biggest thing you need to do is commit to actually listening to what somebody has to say when it comes to feedback. Don’t try hard not to speak until another person is finished. Now, once again, there are caveats that come with even this stuff here.
If you have somebody that’s running on for 30 minutes trying to tell you something, that’s a different story. We’re talking about a good, healthy a feedback. If somebody is going 30 minutes, they’re probably speaking to you more about themselves or for themselves than giving you quality feedback. So if this is a healthy person giving you quality feedback, listen to what they have to say. Number two, check your body language. What is your posture say What is your body language encouraged? Does it encourage them to give you more and keep going? Or do they feel like they have to stop or tip toe around something just to protect your feelings or your ego. So watch your body language. How are you responding to stuff? Number three, commit to finding the truth in what they’re saying. They’re probably going to say something that you disagree with. Now, for some people, the tendency is to go to that one thing that they can disprove, right?
Don’t commit to finding the truth in what they’re saying. Many times you will see somebody who is saying something, giving you feedback, and you pick out one word or one thing and attack that thing and go, everything you’re saying is wrong because of this over here, and come to find out the thing that you’re pointing out really doesn’t matter. That’s, you know, maybe they said something incorrectly or a word incorrectly or you know, said it was cold outside when it was actually lukewarm. It doesn’t. Don’t go attacking a piece of what they’re saying just so that you can wipe out everything that they’re saying, trying to find the truth. Try. If you’re, if you’re really wanting to receive quality feedback, look for the truth in what they’re saying. Number four, ask any questions that bring clarity to the truth you’re seeking. So not trying to disprove or take apart their argument.
You’re only asking questions to give you clarity that you need to help you find the truth and what they are saying. So for example, something you can say is what impacted that decision or action have on you. So if you’ve made a decision and you can see that it’s probably had an impact on somebody, ask the question, how did that impact you? Or you could even ask, what would you have liked to have seen happen differently? Ask those questions to try and gain quality perspective to try and bring more clarity to the truth that you’re seeing. The more questions that you ask, the more clarity that you get, the easier it is for you to not only receive the feedback but implement it as well. Now, before we get to the last two, I want to tell you about one of the favorite things that we do here at the Poimen Group.
Man group. Next level life is our two day personal discovery experience. It’s a one on one personalized event where we guide you through a process to help you discover your root system, to get unstuck in life and to discover what’s holding you back from freedom and peace. Imagine this, what if you could wake up every morning with a clear purpose? What would it look like to have healthier relationships with less conflict? Where would you be in a few months, a year, five years if you had clarity, purpose, and peace? Probably a big difference from where you stand today. Now I know it’s possible because I’ve been where you are asking myself, is there more? There is and there is a better way and it starts with Next Level Life. You can go to chrislocurto.com/discover to take the next step. Now, if you’re struggling with this contentment, regret, or not feeling good enough, which most of you are, if you’re filled with anxiety or your relationships are lacking, don’t keep going through the same motions every single day.
Learn how to move past the things, robbing you of peace. Go to chrislocurto.com/discover and take the next step. All right, so we’re talking about the six steps to receiving feedback. Number one was commit to listen. Number two was check your body language. Number three, commit to finding the truth in what they are saying. Number four, ask any questions to bring clarity to the truth you’re seeking. Now, number five, ask them if there’s anything else they need to share that they are maybe scared to say. If somebody is struggling in sharing information with you or they’re afraid to share information with you, they’re just not gonna do it. You might even ask them by saying, is there anything else you’re scared to say? So help them to see that they can trust you in the process if they do share the information. Number six, thank them for their feedback.
Do not pick it apart. Do not argue. Do not get defensive. Thank them for having the courage, openness, and honesty to share it with you. Now again, if after those six steps, you as the leader need to point out some error in their feedback or give them, you know, more perspective to give them more understanding them, then that’s when you can engage in that way. Your team member will be a lot more open to receive your input once you have truly received theirs. So for those of you that are leaders, if a team member is giving you input in the inputs, not correct, right? Speak to it. So you may have some leading to do on that, but if you don’t, thank them, receive it. Make decisions on what you need to change and what you need to fix. Now, once again, you can get the pity of download. What these six steps to being a leader that receives feedback well and grows from it. Just go to chrislocurto.com/349 again, that is chrislocurto.com/349 .Well folks, hopefully this has helped you today. I appreciate you joining me. I hope it has served you well. I encourage you to subscribe to, right, and to share the podcast, to help more people join our community, and as always, take this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and join us on the next episode.
