Today we’re talking about something that comes up constantly in Next-Level Life events – worrying about other people’s opinions.
Are you looking to other people for affirmation and approval?
Are you finding your self-worth in this?
A lot of folks are and it can be crippling to your life.
I constantly see incredibly gifted people who are so concerned and worried about following rules, and for them, it’s based on what other people will think of them if they don’t do it.
Their self-worth is in following the rules and when they don’t follow… their world starts to crumble because their world revolves around what other people think of them.
In reality people are way more concerned about their own thing anyway. Their opinions on you are really more a reflection on what they think about themselves.
Wurd!
For instance, when people judge me for drinking coffee what they’re doing is feeling bad about themselves for preferring tea. 🙂
Joel, your comment is an epiphany for me. It explains so many things!
🙂
I agree to a point. There are most definite rules that must be followed or consequences follow. So.. opinions need to formed that create the warranted following action(s). But keep them positive and forward thinking. The atmosphere created is less tense and fearful and most welcome.
Thanks Novie
I can not love this enough. This is a HUGE issue for women, especially. (Plus, shock and awe is way more fun!)
HAHAHA!!!! That’s awesome to hear Teresa!!
Love this insight and encouragement. Its so easy to get caught up into others opinions. But after life plan and reading Boundaries I was able move past others opinions for the most part. The old ways try to creep out but I have such a strong foundation that I recover fairly quickly.
Them roots are changing!!!
Amen sister! And I can attest to that. lol
This episode is an invitation for me to own my life and decisions, accept the consequences of my actions and not choose to do anything based on what others might think. Powerful stuff!!!
YES! YES!!!
I see a visual quote coming up soon 🙂
Love it Lil!!!
I believe it’s good to learn the rules, but know when and how to break them. That’s what I do as a writer, a songwriter and a blogger. And I really have learned to let go of others’ opinions.
Great input Dan!
Chris – this is interesting. I might be going off topic a bit–but you got me thinking on something I’ll just share for the sake of conversation if nothing else.
I think not following rules (or maybe norms if we’re talking about business) **can** be a good thing…and sometimes not. It really depends on who you’re talking to and wanting to attract. This just from a purely strategic point-of-view. As a creative person–my whole thing is to break rules ***when it makes sense*** for my clients (in terms of helping them reach their goals)–so breaking rules in order to solve problems. BUT there can also be a cost because sometimes that means telling them things they don’t want to hear. Of course THAT can go either way depending on the variables.
Sometimes it might mean helping them see how a rule (or norm) they’re not following *could* or *might* cost them (and the price could/might be worth it in the end…but you have to have the conversation to determine if the risk is worth the possible reward). The rule or norm they don’t want to follow might end up being the very thing that sets them apart and tips them toward their vision. OR might not.
It’s my job to help them see the choice and the cost/benefit of each. Some of the toughest conversations I’ve had w/clients in the past turned out to be the most rewarding, but it was uncomfortable to get there. I know this line of thought is a bit of a different trajectory than you probably intended w/this post, but what they heck. Thought I’d share what it made me think about 🙂 for fun if nothing else!
Maybe it relates in this one respect–sometimes we follow norms or rules because it is in the best interest of the over-reaching goal or objective, and less because we worry what others will think. And other times we do make choices based on fear of what others think–and to know the difference between the two holds some real value because you don’t want to stop following a norm or rule if it’s going to cost you something you’re not prepared to pay (and conversely you certainly do if you are!).