On this episode of The Chris LoCurto Show, we dive into how we are all the sum of what happened in our past, and the influence we allow in. This is our Root System. All your life choices and decision-making processes come from your Root System.
Getting To The Bottom Of Your Root System
In Next-Level Life, I spend hours tying what’s happened in a person’s life to their Root System. We go into what’s happened in their past, and into the influence they’ve allowed in (from family, leadership, friends, etc). We use this to discover how and why they make decisions the way they do today.
When you understand why you make decisions like you do, you can learn to make better decisions going forward in life.
You Are The Sum Of Your Past & Your Influences
Boiling it all down, so much of what we do today comes from modeling and training from key influencers like our parents. The way your parents treated you links back to the way their parents treated them, and cycles into how you treat your children or family or team today.
If abuse is in your background, either emotional or physical, then a pattern forms. And chances are, if you were abused, you’ll pendulum swing to your children, and won’t discipline enough. Or you’ll allow your children to control you. All this just perpetuates a negative cycle in your family.
Healthy boundaries and healthy control are the key. Honestly, finding that center is one of the most important things you can discover.
Even the best parents (with the best intentions) might do something that came from their parents that causes bad self-perception or decision-making in you.
They might say one specific thing over and over to their child, expecting and hoping that it helps their kid to grow up well or understand. What they don’t realize is the way they say it creates bad self-perception or decision-making in their child.
How crazy is that?
We carry over the bad processes or belief systems, and as a result we perpetuate the same Root System into our children.
Want to get to the bottom of your Root System?
Check out Next-Level Life: we guide people through a 2-day process to help them get unstuck in life, improve relationships, and discover what’s holding them back from peace and freedom in life.
Question: How does your Root System impact you?
Resources:
What You Have In Common With Wine
Is Your Root System holding you back?
Thanks for this podcast, Chris. I have a client who is struggling in working under his dad in the family business. A lot of the issues are Gen 1/Gen 2 transition issues, but there is more there. I need to recommend “Boundaries” to him to read. It IS a fabulous book! Thanks for reminding me of it when talking about family businesses. It will be perfect for him. GREAT podcast!
Thanks Dale! I was hoping this podcast made sense. It was tough to do in a short amount of time.
Yes, that is a tough topic for a podcast! I have a friend who takes an entire semester at the University of Tennessee to cover this for his master’s students! But it was a well-done tidbit that may entice people to dig deeper.
That’s fantastic to hear! Thanks Dale
Awesome post Chris. It is amazing how much the choices we make today area result of our childhood. Roots are so important!
Absolutely Zechariah! It’s the biggest thing I deal with in LifePlan. Trying to get people to understand it.
Chris – this was a great follow-on to our conversation this morning. Loved the stat about the number of small businesses that are family run and how directly the root system impacts their service and operation. Useful in navigating consumer to business and your business relationships 🙂 An interesting related topic is archetypes – how the same “person” exists in so many people across so many families, not related by blood with different hurts and traumas.
Thanks on the Boundaries recommendation, I’ve added this to my list once my list becomes reasonable I’ll dive in.
So glad to hear you liked it Scott! I can’t wait to hear what you think of the book.
Great episode Chris! This goes great along with my recent study of my own limiting beliefs (via Tony Robbins works).
Lots of the stuff you mentioned in the episode was pretty significant aspects of someone’s past. I’m fortunate to say my past has been anything but challenging. I’m sure there’s still some stuff I’m “bringing to work” from my past though.
Thank you Deacon! And the great thing about a challenging past, when coupled with information like this, you become a much better version of YOU!
Thanks for sharing!
Chris, I believe today is the first I’ve listened to your podcasts. So glad I found you! This was my second one today 🙂 At any rate, I can now see how neglect or maybe a better word, disengagement from my parents has affected my parenting (my children are all grown now) and now the way I run (or should I say neglect & disengage from,) my business & team. My parents loved me, but did not engage much with me. I was the youngest of 6 and only girl and there was 13 years between me & the youngest of my older brothers. Being the only daughter of older parents who had all but given up on ever having a girl, I felt a bit like a trophy. greatly loved, but once all the novelty & fan fair died down I sat on the shelf & most of the time collecting dust. I’ve spent much time thinking and pondering & seeking wisdom, & I have to say this is the first time in my 48 years of life I’ve ever had this analogy cross my mind. Praising God for this new insight and praying for clarity on how to swing the pendulum to the middle to best guide my children, grandchildren & my team hear on out. Thanks! In His grace! Paulette 🙂
Paulette that is so awesome to hear!!! Thank you for sharing that! The crazy thing is, I bet you they never even realized what they were doing, juts like you’re realizing now how you’ve responded. And I’m so glad that you ARE seeing that. We focus heavily on this in our Next-Level Life events to help parents and leaders to discover how their Root System is impacting those they are leading.
I’m so glad you found the show and hope to hear from you more!