4 | Why You’re Misunderstood

On this episode of The Chris LoCurto Show, we’re answering questions after we asked you guys to comment about your greatest challenges when it comes to communicating and understanding personality styles. We dive into personality types, winning at communication, and why you might be misunderstood.

Listen in, and discover why you’re misunderstood:


On this episode, we dive further into these questions:

  • “When you’re a business of one, how do you create balance for yourself? … I’m currently looking for an accountability partner for myself, my business, to help keep me more goal-driven.”
  • “I’d love to hear your thoughts about individuals dealing with opposite or challenging personality style conflicts that are difficult to change. How this might look with the DISC profile: the high C employee who has a high I boss, or the S spouse with the D spouse. In both cases, the C or the S has to navigate an uphill situation.”
  • “I have a challenge with trying to understand the personality style of a colleague who acts one way with everyone –upbeat and nice, and another way with me–dismissive. It’s been this way since I started, and I just don’t know how to break through. I’ve had a conversation with him to ask what I’ve done to make him act that way, but the answer back is ‘Everything’s fine.’ He talks negatively about me to my colleagues. It’s very much like high school, and I’m at a complete loss. I’ve never had to deal with this to this degree before. I wish I could ignore it, but I have to work with him on projects I have.”
  • “I teach on the subject myself, and if I’m around a person long enough, I can pick up on which of the four [types] is their primary and secondary personality style. The only challenge that drives me crazy is those high S and C types. I’m a high I and D, and those analytical over-thinkers are the type I need to learn to be patient with as far as helping them along in life. … How do you deal with that? My wife and I have no choice, but with others, that’s where the issue comes up.”
  • “As a leader in a collaborative environment, what are some ways to identify personality types of the team members? How do you create an environment where those personality preferences that comprise your team collaborate well?”
  • “I understand the dominant styles and have been successful in communicating better with people around me since I learned about DISC. However, I find the immature versions of the styles very hard to deal with. Specifically, the high C. What do you recommend to better relate with this person in a business setting?”
  • “What types of things can a leader do about people who discover their personality type, and then begin to use it as a crutch, or an excuse for inappropriate behaviors?”
  • “Can a personality style change, or is someone always stuck with it?”
  • “What is your recommendation on how to factor personality style profiles into our hiring process? None of us have taken one. Do you have a service—paid or free—that you recommend using to have our current team take before we look to add team members?”

Thank you for bringing it!

Folks, you brought it up with these phenomenal questions! Be sure to listen to the podcast for my answers.


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Meet Chris LoCurto


Chris has a heart for changing lives by helping people discover the life and business they really want.

Decades of personal and leadership development experience, as well as running multi-million dollar businesses, has made him an expert in life and business coaching. personality types, and communication styles.

Growing up in a small logging town near Lake Tahoe, California, Chris learned a strong work ethic at home from his full-time working mom. He began his leadership and training career in the corporate world, starting but at E'TRADE.

20 thoughts on “4 | Why You’re Misunderstood”

  1. Take a few personality profile tests has allowed me to understand myself better. I have learned how I communicate, receive energy and look at problems. It has allowed me to understand a bit more where the people around me are coming from and why they might say or do the things they do.

  2. Chris, thank you for taking the time to answer my question! You gave incredible advice and I will put it to use! Unstanding your own personality as well as those around you is key to creating healthy and productive relationships. I believe this where we must have a students heart. I look forward to tomorrow’s video! Thank you again!

  3. The biggest thing I learned was that I often am as big of a jerk as a few people have dared to tell me I am.

    Also, what I saw as only positives, I now see from the perspective of others. I see how intimidating and compulsive I can be.

    DISC showed me what others see in me. They see the good and the bad, whereas I only saw the good.

    I am 50% D, 45% I, and 5% S. No C. Not sure how that little S got in there though. I am all about drive, passion, networking, and influencing. Those are great qualities. But so are analytics, calmness, and ability not to break out in hives at the sight of an Excel spreadsheet. I have none of those.

    I now understand how to communicate with others unlike me and how to help them communicate with me. That was the most important thing.

  4. Chris,

    Great job on demonstrating that self-understanding, and then
    mutual understanding will benefit all the personality types – this understanding opens doors fast, and can build massive momentum!

    Thank you for taking my question, D (18%) I ( 23%) S (18%) C (41%)

    ps. Well done on the track, sir!

  5. When you are in business with family, and have identified your DISC profile (and have exhausted it in hundreds of hours of discussion), this has proven so helpful and in many ways has infiltrated in so many areas of life to our benefit. With it, also, comes a keen awareness of what our weaknesses are as well. My spouse is aware of every critical detail and that High D,C eye can really tear thing up! It’s what makes him good at many of the things he does though, too! Coming from a High I,S, with little to no D,C…this makes it challenging for me when trying to navigate our business with me being another strong leader group (we have that diagonal, opposite personality that can make or break communicating in this business of ours. I need him, he needs me….my spouse, the High D,C, myself, the High I,S. Because of the difficulties I have in staying on task and seeing the details and the big picture, and implementing plans to stay on course, ect… many and most all things get “knocked down” before I can even communicate things. I find myself wanting to create goals, and move in the direction of implementing great habits and incentives and so on, but these seem to fail as I can’t carry them out unless he is on board. Problem with this is that a High D, C delegates the heck out of things, and scrutinizes and sees too many details left out, making them not important, not worth discussing or implementing, or just get put back on me. I can’t follow through many very necessary plans without his cooperation and support in helping me in the areas that are not my strengths. I need to ride his strengths in implementing and forming strategies, but this usually ends up back in my lap, as they don’t come across as necessary or important. My take on it is that the High I,S is not taken seriously because let’s face it, we dream and can have some out-of-the box ideas and we put it all out there which frankly makes the High D,C want to shut us down or put it back in our court. We High I,S personalities complicate the High D,C’s “perfect world that doesn’t need change”. I’m getting to my questions(s) now… 🙂

    Is it normal to feel that despite the effort I make to inspire, motivate, and communicate necessary changes needed in the business, that all this is considered invaluable? I understand I get excited and see things as awesome and perfect and want to jump on it and wrestle it to the ground. We all aren’t like that, I know. But what is it that will get the High D,C to take these ideas and plans and own it with me? If there isn’t a coming together, am I going about it the wrong way? How do I know if it’s my problem or theirs? And how can I change the way I am going about this so we can move forward on some things? (sorry so wordy,,,It’s a communication flaw that is my worst enemy. I have scaled this down 3 times now! Best I can do) Thanks, Chris!

    1. OOPS! I meant to express that I have learned LOTS of Great stuff concerning the DISC profile material. But what I have mostly learned is that DISC exposes the real degree of communication problems in business and our sinful human nature. The silver lining is that we know now, because of DISC, that there is a problem and now we can work on addressing it.
      (So who replys to their own comments?….really!) kt

  6. Great reminder that its all about helping the individuals on your team be better and more effective people and communicators.

    As a high C and D, I do get frustrated by non-task oriented people, but I have learned that people of every stripe have accomplished great things. And…

    Thank you Chris and Melissa for the shout-out. I appreciate you taking my question. You even got my last name right 🙂

  7. The first time I took the DISC, I scored very high C. A year later, I scored a high I. What I know for sure, is that I am an “ISC” no D in there! It’s been helpful to find out that these results change over time as I have adapted to new circumstances at work and home. It’s also helped me try to identify how to communicate better with personality styles that are opposite of mine. I had a hard time with “D”s because I always viewed communicating with them as conflict. The problem is, I married one! Instead of being offended, I know that he needs the “reader’s digest version” instead of a step-by-step replay. I have coworkers who are 120% C. It takes them FOREVER to do anything. Now I know I need to give them all the information they need before they can process it. I have much to learn, but I know DISC gives me the right tools to be successful.

  8. I have learned incredible things from this test. Communication based upon personality styles has been huge for me and those around me. We test the team at Carver Door.

    Perhaps the greatest lesson : That you CAN develop your weaker areas… I have DISC-ed several times. Each time intentionally working to develop weaker areas. Not revealing which category, but I have taken a 6 into the 50s… What a tool for growth! (What a needful test subject!)
    That said, we should concentrate on our strengths and the fulfillment of our potential by working in them. I do submit that an extremely low number (like 6) was holding me back!

  9. Understanding other’s strengths and how to, “communicate” with them. We did Tom Rath’s Strength finders 2.0. Through this I also understood what my strengths are and focused on those. I haven’t done a DISC yet, looking forward to do so!

    1. Steve – StrengthFinders is an excellent tool for personal development, I also recommend the DISC as it will provide you with insights the StrengthsFinder does not, and will provide an excellent framework to understand others’ styles as well.

  10. MaryEllen Miller

    Chris, after reading your post yesterday and listening to the podcast you reminded me of things that I have learned through the DISC process but haven’t applied enough lately. This is really timely since we are working through the budgeting process and the different personality types are pretty clear when we do that. I am the 99 C and everyone else is waaaaaay different from that. So I have been working through some ideas to make to make the process better for everyone. My issue is that I need input from all areas to be able to create an effective budget, but bringing out a sea of spreadsheets only causes them to run for the door. So our first budgeting session we only talked in concepts about what we wanted to accomplish next year and what resources we needed to get there. We used a flip chart and lots of sticky notes and no numbers. It was a pretty successful way for me to get the information I needed to go to the next step.

  11. Chris! Thanks for taking my “softball pitch” lob of a question! I appreciate your advice. We are under new leadership at the VP level and I am being entrusted with more leadership, so I have asked about implementing the personality testing into our team. Can’t wait for your video and resources up tomorrow! Thanks for constantly investing in others! *(and congrats on 2nd place in your race!!)*

  12. Thanks for answering my question. Though I am a student of learning this DISC idea, I’ve always struggled with dealing with the C style, the analytical, detailed type of people Again, my wife is one, but we’ve learned how to balance each other out. I am the I and D type. She is the C and S type in that order. So we complete each other and I LOVE that. When I have to deal with some agency or something, maybe the cable people, I put my wife on the phone because she has all kinds of questions. Me, I am more of a keep it simple. I want this, that, and how about those. Thanks. Here’s my money. Not my wife. She’s asking about when payment is due, how many channel will we get? Are there any good channels for my children? Can we pay the bill online, over the phone, and maybe through Amscot? So I love that about her. She saves my butt in cases like that.

    Another thing I learned out of this podcast was the immaturity and maturity of the personalities. I had no idea that maturity could be a factor with temperaments. I have never heard anyone teach on that out of all that I have read on the subject of personality types. So I got GREAT help from that. Awesome podcast!

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