This is a message that hits home for so many of us—especially if you’re working long hours, deeply invested in your business, and feeling the weight of leadership on your shoulders.
I see this all the time in folks who are passionate about what they do but are constantly stressed out by the never-ending grind.
If you’re someone who loves your business but feels overwhelmed because so much relies on you, let’s dive into something critical: how to stop depending on others for your happiness.
The False Promise of External Validation
You’re the busiest person in your business, right? You’re pouring everything into it, but let’s talk about a trap that’s easy to fall into. It’s that sneaky idea that our happiness and fulfillment depend on others—whether it’s needing constant approval from your team, recognition from a client, or even validation from likes on social media.
Here’s the hard truth: If your joy is tied to what others do or think, you’re setting yourself up for frustration. People are unpredictable, situations change, and if your happiness is at the mercy of external factors, it’s always going to be fragile.
Zig Ziglar’s Wheel of Life and True Happiness
This is where Zig Ziglar’s Wheel of Life comes into play. Zig had a powerful way of breaking down life into key areas—like career, family, spiritual, physical, personal development, financial, and social. The problem is, when we over-focus on just one area, we become lopsided, and life gets wobbly real quick.
The secret is understanding that true happiness comes from within and across all these areas. It’s about knowing who you are and aligning your life—your goals, your business, your relationships—with those core values across all these spokes of the wheel.
If you’re not sure where you stand in each area of your life, we’ve got a free resource to help you better understand yourself and where you might be out of balance. It’s like getting a tune-up for your wheel before it wobbles out of control.
Steps to Cultivate Internal Happiness (Even When Business is Tough)
1. Know Yourself
When was the last time you really reflected on what drives you? You’re a go-getter, but do you know what truly fulfills you? This is about more than hitting revenue targets or growth milestones. What are your core values, and are you living in alignment with them?
Action Step: Take time to reflect and journal on your values and passions. These are your guiding lights when life gets hectic. Revisit them often, especially when the pressures of business mount.
2. Practice Gratitude
You’re facing a lot of stress, no doubt. But shifting your mindset from what’s missing to what’s abundant is a game-changer. Gratitude rewires your brain to focus on what’s going right, even amidst the chaos.
Action Step: Start a gratitude journal. Every day, jot down three things you’re thankful for, whether it’s a successful client interaction, a supportive team member, or even just that first cup of coffee in the morning.
3. Build Self-Compassion
As driven leaders, we can be brutal on ourselves. If your inner critic is louder than your cheerleader, it’s time to turn the volume down on that negativity. Self-compassion isn’t about going easy on yourself; it’s about being kind while still holding high standards.
Action Step: Practice positive self-talk. The next time you catch yourself being overly critical, pause and reframe it with something encouraging. You’ll be amazed at the impact on your confidence and resilience.
4. Set Personal Goals Aligned with Your Values
It’s easy to get lost in the hustle, chasing goals that others think are important. But what about the goals that truly excite you? Aligning your goals with your passions gives you energy and a sense of purpose.
Action Step: Identify one personal goal that lights you up and take consistent small steps towards it. Don’t just wait for business wins; celebrate your personal growth too.
5. Establish Healthy Boundaries
If you’re constantly stressed, it’s likely because your boundaries are blurred. Saying no isn’t about being harsh; it’s about protecting what matters most—your time, your energy, your peace.
Action Step: Reflect on areas where you need stronger boundaries. Then communicate those boundaries clearly, both to yourself and to others. And most importantly, stick to them.
6. Prioritize Self-Care
You’ve heard it before, but it bears repeating—self-care isn’t selfish, it’s survival. If you’re not taking care of yourself, how can you show up fully for your business, your team, or your loved ones?
Action Step: Schedule regular self-care activities, whether it’s exercising, spending time in nature, or just disconnecting from work. Put it in your calendar like any other non-negotiable appointment.
The Freedom of Self-Reliance in Happiness
Folks, breaking free from the need for others’ approval is a process, not an overnight change. It takes practice, but the results are life-changing. When you start generating happiness from within—based on knowing yourself, staying aligned with your values, and taking care of all the areas of your life—you’ll find you’re more resilient and less swayed by the ups and downs around you.
If this resonates with you, don’t just let it be another good read. Take action. Use Zig’s Wheel of Life as your guide. Reflect on where you’re out of balance, and use our free resource to better understand how to bring your life back into alignment. Remember, true happiness isn’t found in the applause of others; it’s an inside job that you’re fully capable of mastering.
