564 | The CEO’s Quiet Battle: Combating Isolation at the Top

Joel Fortner 0:00
You've probably heard the expression it's lonely at the top. The truth is, it's more than lonely. feeling isolated may be costing you your health that's coming up next.

Chris LoCurto 0:19
Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are.

Joel Fortner 0:31
Well, welcome to the Chris LoCurto show, folks, this is obviously not Chris Accardo. This is Joel Fortner, president of the Poimen group here on Chris's team, Chris is sick. He just got sick. Just recently bummer and would ask for prayers for his health and healing it is it is just It's tough. It's tough being sick, there is COVID stuff, flu stuff going around all over the place. And unfortunately, he's caught it. And you know what, I think there may be a little bit in our home as well. But I hope you guys are having a fabulous day, wherever you are. If you're if you're not familiar with my voice, or you're new to the show, my name is Joel Fortner. I've been with Chris for since nearly the very beginning of this company. And help get it going and growing. And then over the years, here we are. And I'm a leader within the team and have the honor today of of being on the show with you. And today we're talking about a topic that especially if you're a CEO, and owner, maybe even a president, maybe shoot may have been just a leader that you're probably going to resonate with. And that is this whole idea of this quiet battle that leaders go through especially small business owners, and that is this whole thing of being isolated, and feeling isolated. And I hear it quite regularly, especially when I talk to someone that I'm new to, that's a small business owner, they commonly talk about that Joel, it feels lonely being at the top, if you will, it feels lonely being the owner. And we're gonna get into that today. And hopefully, this episode is going to give you some awareness and some vocabulary to put on those things that you recognize that are troubling you, or that are a part of our mentality or our mindset when we're struggling with feeling alone. And people don't unless you're a business owner, or you're married to one or you know, one, this may not ever cross your mind that this is even a thing that people can think about small business ownership and the stress and the pressures of it are the fun of it, the excitement of it, people looking on the outside saying, Gosh, I wish I was doing that I wish I was where you were at. And then they don't really think about all that comes with it until you're just one of those things that until you live it, you really just don't know it very well. And so if you're a leader working for an owner, don't, don't hit pause, don't move away. Because you need to know this information as well. You need to know that you are working for someone who probably deals at times with feeling isolated or feeling alone. And we're gonna get into some of that today we're going to, hopefully, offer you some tips and advice that's going to help you not stay there if you are stuck in that place of isolation. So according to a Harvard Business Review survey, 50% of CEOs reported feeling lonely with 61%, believing it hindered their performance makes sense.

So CEOs often experience feelings of loneliness and isolation due to the pressures of their responsibilities. So think about the stats 50% of CEOs feel alone in their role. But how many of them? Of course, no people, probably all of them, right? How many of them are married many of them, yet they still feel alone. And we're going to get into why that is today. And so as I just shared the stresses and the pressures that come with business ownership are very unique. There's, there's fears there's responsibility for people, and those CEOs will tell you that absolutely. It affects their day-to-day performance. It affects the way they think it affects the decision-making that they have week to week on how they steward their business. Because we as people, we are so emotional, we are more emotional than we often give ourselves credit for. Or that we realize so many of the decisions that we make our times are even at rational at times, because of fear of stress. Have you ever made a decision on a Monday, and then got to Tuesday and looked back on your decision and thought, What the heck was I doing? What was I thinking? But yesterday, it seemed like the right thing to do. It seems so clear to you. But now with greater clarity, maybe less emotion, maybe more logical thinking on Tuesday, you're now looking back and you're questioning yourself or you're changing your decision because it's like that's That was weird. That was strange, is because you were deciding with some type of them. Motion affecting it, or some type of fear, some type of stress that was limiting your thinking. So you better believe CEOs feel this, that this definitely affects their performance. That's actually a really great stat in my mind, because it shows there's a level of self-awareness out there to see. Yeah, isolation and loneliness definitely affect how I lead this business. Have you ever heard this famous Shakespearean phrase, uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Let me say that again, uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. So this is meant metaphorically, I'm not meaning this literally the Euro king or a queen. But you get the point. Hopefully, sometimes the one with the crown, the stress, the pressure, sits uneasy, sits in stress, it's very, very true.

So as a president, and within this company, as a key leader within our company, sometimes I feel uneasy because I am shouldering stress, at times dealing with with fear that I've got a process through. And you can better believe at times when you were sitting there responsible for all these people and all this money as a CEO, that you can, you can definitely agree with, yes, sometimes it just feels uneasy, sometimes there are points where he may want to throw in the towel, he may have those days or weeks of like, what am I doing? Why am I doing this? Is it worth it? Should I just go get a job. And the truth is, if you think entrepreneurially, you're gonna, you're gonna try that they know, I don't want to do this, I really want to work for myself. Because that's really who you are. And you want to you want to carve it out yourself, you want to be in control of your thing. You want the flexibility in your life, that entrepreneurship can bring to you. Sometimes it feels like some of you may feel like a slave to your business at times. And that's we need to work on you really want to figure out what's going on and how to get you out of that place. But uneasiness definitely sits on the head of the person in charge. So do you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel like you carry all the company's weight on your shoulders? Is that what it feels like? This is where ultimately having a great leadership team is going to be key. So today, we're going to discuss some of the seldom talked about challenges of isolation among leaders and entrepreneurs. So let's get into this. So let's bring some clarity to some of the things that actually cause leaders to feel isolated, because it's often not just that, Oh, I feel isolated. Oh, I feel alone. There's more to it than that. Let's try to give some clarity to that. So we know what we're dealing with. So number one, carrying the weight and pressure of leading people and feeling responsible for those people and their families is a key reason why, especially CEOs feel isolated. Because who else is sitting there thinking that who else controls the purse strings, who else is ultimately in charge of everything?

So when you've grown a business, and you've now got team, you've got people, you know, their families, you hear about their stories, you hear about their kids, you hear about oh, one's pregnant with another child. And you're looking at the p&l all the time, you're looking at cash flow all the time, you're looking at sales projections all the time, you're looking at expense reports all the time. And you're sitting there, maybe you're in an unhealthy place cashflow wise, within your business. Or maybe when you look to the future, it doesn't look very good. And you're sitting there thinking about gosh, what am I going to do if this happens? I have all these people that I feel that I'm responsible for, and small business owners.

So this is a part of the joy of small business ownership. And I would say a curse that comes with small business ownership is this, this weight and pressure that sits on you a feeling responsible for people in their family. So what I'm not saying is that CEOs and owners should sit there feeling 100% responsible for other people, because you're not and the you know that logically, but it feels like you are the truth is other adults have options. They have choices. If you if you reached a place where you had to let people go, what are people going to do? Most people aren't going to let themselves end up under a bridge. Most people are going to go figure something out. They're going to go get another job. And but then it's a well guess Yeah, I just don't want them to go through the pain and the suffering, the fear, the stress that comes with that. I don't want to be the one that has to give them the news that hey, I've got to let you go totally, completely stinks. And it's always going to stink, letting people go firing someone, whatever should always be hard. And it's always going to be difficult, because I think part of the burden of leadership is that we wring out the towel on every option possible in order to keep people not to a place where you're just constantly operating without profit though, over and over and over and you're going months and months and months and months without even paying yourself as the owner be Has that you have, you're important to, you have a probably have a family as well. You need income, you have expenses, you have bills, you have savings goals, you have a budget you're trying to maintain and manage. So you're, you're equally as important as someone else that you may have to face, or look at someday and say, Hey, we're really struggling. This is what's going on. These are the dire situations. That's where we if we can give people a heads-up so they can prepare. That's where communication is so key. And this kind of limiting thought or stressor is carrying this weight is that the more transparent and communicative you are with people, it lets people know, hey, this is where we're at. So because people will tell you, they'd rather have information than anything else, because the information says, Well, now I can start preparing and looking if the business is not doing well. But let's just move away from the extreme that I'm talking about here, just the day-to-day feeling responsible for people and feeling like people success within the business, their key results, their jobs, most leaders carry a sense of responsibility for other people and other people's jobs and what they're doing, sometimes to a point where we're overboard on it. And where it's a you know, leads to delegation problems where we take people's job tasks back from him that we want to keep them and own them, because they're so important. And we know they need to get done. And we need to move that stuff forward. So I'll just do it myself. And that's that we don't need to do that we need to lead people, train people communicate with people and hold people accountable to their jobs and their key results. That's where we need to focus. But you probably see, you've probably seen yourself. And what I'm saying is that we just have this responsibility as leaders of getting stuff done. Because leaders tend to be achievers.

And so we'll just jump in there and grab it and do it. Or we'll we'll own someone's job more than they will. And we'll feel like we take more responsibility. And we care more about their job than they do as as a leader, especially an owner, to the point where you can get really frustrated with people. And you can start to feel fear, because oh my gosh, this stuff isn't getting done, and when's it gonna get done, and then it moves into control problems. And so this whole weight and pressure of leading people is a reason why many, many CEOs and leaders end up feeling isolated and alone, because who thinks like this, who cares as much as I do? Nobody, or at least that's it. That's the lie that you may tell yourself. Another thing that causes leaders to feel isolated as being the only one who knows certain things like financial status, cashflow, shrinking opportunities, and other things like that, is that you, you operate every day as a CEO, knowing that I'm the only one who knows this stuff. And sometimes you wish you didn't. Sometimes you wish others knew what was going on, especially when it concerns making decisions, and you're unsure what to do that you don't know what to do, that you don't have a brain trust around you, or you've googled it and you can't find the answer, or you've read some books, and you can't find the answer. And you still find yourself coming back to these places of thinking, Gosh, I'm the only one who knows this information. And I feel alone with it. I wish I had smarter people around me, I wish I had another perspective around me and say it's a level of detail that you're just not comfortable sharing with your team. And because I don't think that teams need to know the ins and outs of all, especially the financial outlook of a company.

Some people just don't have enough training and education around all the nuances and details of just the money part of the business and accounting to be able to digest it and understand it and actually be able to help. Some people think that oh, yeah, gosh, business owners are just raking it in making all this money. That's not the case. And the number of business owners I know that haven't paid themselves for months, and long periods, but their team never knew it. I know many that are in that situation. This is an often unknown part of entrepreneurship is this thing right here. But sometimes also, when we're sitting alone with all this information, there can just be fear. Or there can be guilt on all these emotions that can come along. Another thing is just feeling responsible for the whole business when others are responsible for the department, or they're responsible for just their job. But you feel responsible for everything, every corner, every nook and cranny you feel responsible for because it's yours as the owner. And of course, you're going to you see money everywhere you see money being well spent, you see money being poorly spent, you look around at all these assets, and you probably ask yourself questions, is that good? Why do I need that? What do we need to sell? Why are we holding on to that whatever it may be, but you just feel responsible for the whole thing, and you're the only one.

So even though you may try to communicate that and convey that in ways to your team or people in your life, you still may experience you know what, they still just don't get it. Because of that people are very quick to say things like, Well, maybe you should just x, maybe you should just do this, maybe you should just do that. Because it seems like it's hard, or they give you their best advice. And most people I think, are very well-intentioned, and giving you information, but it just doesn't meet your needs. And in those conversations, you may not even be looking for advice, you may be looking for someone to just encourage you and support you, you may be listening for someone to just listen to you. And that feels good. Just being able to tell another human being out loud, what you're struggling with, as a CEO, just to have a listening ear. Because sometimes just saying stuff out loud, makes us feel better. It's like we're confessing things or we're getting things off of our shoulders. And it's just that you know what, thank you for listening, I feel better, just now actually sharing this with somebody else.

Now it's out of my brain. And sometimes that's the release that you need to move forward. And other things being the one who's responsible for culture, teamwork, unity, and the results that are happening through the business. It's a lot. It's a whole lot. And it's a lot of CEOs that you're an achiever, your mindset is I just do it, we just do it, we make it happen. I take on a ton of stuff. I've always done that. It's like I've done that since I was 1012 1516 2025. That's just how I think, exactly. And there's, there's two sides to the coin of being an achiever. One of them is you get a whole bunch of stuff done, and you have a perspective of, I'm just gonna have to handle it and do it and take it on. But what if it's to an unhealthy level? What if it's unreasonable, what if your perspective is skewed, about how much you should actually be taking on, but when you're when you have a job to do, and you have customers to see, and phone calls to return, and a million emails to answer in your own set of tasks, and you have personal responsibilities in your life and you have a family, you come to work every day, and you feel responsible for also well, the culture of the team. And then you've got drama over here with these two people that you've got to solve. And teamwork on one team isn't going very well. And you wish people work better together and cut out the BS that sometimes shows up in your team. And you've got unity issues, and you've got people calling in sick, and you've got people calling in late, and you've got two or three customer complaints. And you're sitting here freaking out. And it's not healthy for you to just stay alone in all of that stress. But you have to have a good expectation. As a leader, you have to have a good expectation of you know, what, what's enough and what's not what I'm not saying it's just, you know, be a winner and give up and just be lazy. And all I'm just gonna avoid it all and just be a victim to everything. I'm saying having a good perspective on you know what, gosh, I shoulder a lot, and I'm shouldering a lot of stress. But when does that start to decrease if it's not decreasing for you in your life today, because it's not healthy for you to hold on to persistent stress, year after year after year after year?

So another thing is not having anyone in your life who quote gets it to be a leader, especially to be an owner, that no one gets it. And again, I've talked about this already, and you have those people that either can't say don't say anything to you, because they don't know what to say. They don't know what it's like to walk in your shoes, or what they do tell you isn't helpful, because they just don't get it what it's like. Or maybe you're struggling to articulate what you're struggling with or what you're looking for. Or maybe you're talking to the wrong people you don't have the people in your life that actually can not only listen to you and encourage you but actually show you what to do step by step. This is now what to how to solve it. This is how to step forward in it. Here's the information. Here's the plan. It's not theory, it's proven other leaders do it other owners do it. Practice the steps are here the next three steps you need to take move on those. And then what does it give you hope? It gives you hope it gives you confidence. It takes something stressful or something that the weather is fear. It gives you information and tell you fear hates information. A lot of our stress comes from fear. A lot of our stress comes from guilt. A lot of our stress just comes from our thinking and our emotions. And sometimes we just need better information of now what do I do because I don't know what to do. Those are the people you need to get in your life. Another thing that keeps leaders owners, especially feeling isolated, is the challenges of forming real friendships and deep relationships when you're always seen as quote the boss because people keep themselves at a distance from you. You know what I'm saying? People on your own team well, you're the boss well, so let me keep myself guarded. Let me protect with a wall let me not share information because I want I don't want to disturb point you, as the as the as the leader. And so you come to work. And you're you are say you say you don't come to work, let's say you work remotely, you go to work. And your and your intent or your view of yourself is just you're just you. That's it, you know, you're the owner, and you know that you pay, you pay your people that you just see yourself as you and just part of the team. And we're just rockin' and rollin, and we're doing this stuff. But other people will see you as the boss, they'll see you as the person who pays them, they will see you as you're the person they're responsible or accountable to, and that they want to do a good job by you, I would think most people, and they don't want to fail, and they don't want your disapproval. They want you to be proud of them. But that also leads to people being guarded. And people not letting themselves get close to you. Because they quote unquote, like to keep personal and work life separate. And there's nothing wrong with that.

So but this may be a thing that keeps you from having closer relationships with your team when you're expecting that. And then it's like what's going on, I don't feel close to people or communications weird or I some people, some people on my team seem really relaxed over here, but then they clam up or they're more quiet or guarded or serious with me. And I don't know what to make of that. It could be because you're the boss, and you're the CEO, or you're their key leader, whatever it may be. And so this is where it's like, what can we do to solve that. And that's, that's what's so important is busting out of this isolation.

Hey, leaders, this is Joel Fortner VP of leadership development at Crystal Kardos. Company. I have some questions for you. Do you as a leader feel like you are caught up in a Crazy Cycle of stress and task that never ends week to week? Do you ever have to deal with tough conversations with team members? And you sit at home the next day the night before? Worried about how's it going to go? What am I going to say? What are they going to say? Can I think fast enough on my feet? Is it going to be a total failure? Are you experiencing culture problems or that stuff that just breaks down trust in unity on your team? Well, if you're if you can relate to any of this, this is a pretty typical leadership story and situation. Here's the thing though it doesn't have to be that way. And we can help you solve these things, we can help you become the leader that solves these problems and leads 13 to greater success. I want to introduce you to the key leaders program. This is an ongoing leadership development program that gives you the lesson track coaching and accountability. You need to become the leader you can become to implement what you're actually learning in this program. Things Fall Apart without great leadership and intentionality. If you want to solve the problems that are holding you back from being a great leader, we can help you with this program get in touch with Joe at Chris liccardo.com.

So now let's explore some of the impact of isolation on mental health. Because I talked about this at the show opening that isolation could not it's not just a problem, but it could be affecting your mental health, which is Gosh, which is everything. So how can isolation be doing that? One is loneliness is that being alone for too long is unhealthy, people were made to live out life in a relationship. Now if you're familiar with disk, and you have a high personality style, it's all about people are your highest and they're all about people, but they're all about taking care of people. Let's say you're a high-task person or you're an introvert, and you're thinking oh, it doesn't matter to me. I'm not talking about going and living your life constantly with people. I'm talking about even high-task personality styles as humans, we're not meant to be isolationist, we are meant to have at least some level of quality connection and attachment to at least one other person. Studies have shown that there's a direct link between people's mental health and the quality of their health, to knowing that one person in their life has their back and supports them that they know in their mind. You know, Rebecca, Aaron, whoever that is for you, your spouse, your brother, the leader at work, the other entrepreneur that you know, knowing that that person is there for you and has your back is incredibly comforting. And it's even health to our brain and to our body. So we're not meant to be lonely forever and to feel that way. And then for sometimes I think for achievers, we can think oh, it's not that big of a deal. Just brush it off. You know, Don't be weak. Just press through. You know, you can do it beaten. You know, it's half tenacity. There's a lot of individualistic thinking in that. There's a lot of just, you know, pull myself up by the bootstraps. I need me me and I can do it. You know what happens with that burnout. You have been Seen burnout. And some of you may be feeling that way now, or that's the direction that you're headed. Because you are driving with a lot, a lot on your shoulders, a lot of stress, a lot of responsibility. And you're doing it actually feeling alone, not healthy for you. Another is living under constant stress. You know, you've heard those reports people to say, when you turn 40, really start paying attention to your stress, you need to start doing something with it. And then we don't, and we don't, because we're achievers, and we use to want to do stuff and get stuff done. And we're just sitting here under stress all the time, and we minimize it. Or we actually just aren't educated to the effects that constant stress has on our brain and on our body. And it starts to break us down. Because think about stress, I mean, take something and just hold it in your hand, take you know anything and just constantly squeeze it, you know, take an egg, put in your hand, and just keep constantly applying pressure at different levels to the shell. And eventually, over time that shell is going to weaken, and your fingers are going to bust through it. This is why we need to have things that give us stress relief. I'm not saying you're always going to you're going to reach places where I'm never going to have stress again, I don't know if that's realistic, because the smallest things in our life can trigger us. And then we feel a stress response in our brain in our body. Well, that stress Well then, how do we handle it, what I'm talking about is prolonged weekly stress that never gets a break, where your brain is constantly staying in that state, which also can lead to just even great levels of anxiety. Another one is living with uncertainty all the time. And so you know, COVID still a thing in our world. And in our life, we're three years off the outbreak of 2020. And all the all the pandemic and all the stuff crazy stuff that happened. But think about go to that time as just a recent time in life, where there was a lot of uncertainty, because there's a lot of like, okay, I'm hearing information. I've never heard before uncertainty. There's this thing out there, that's getting people uncertainty, there's all sorts of confusion around what to do, and what's real and what's not. And what's true. And what's a lie, and all these kinds of things. What's it all lead to uncertainty? Can you imagine, I think about Pearl Harbor, sat a grandfather who fought in World War

Two, you mentioned Pearl Harbor, when that happened. And the uncertainty that it created. Many of you all probably know people or have family members who can tell you exactly what it felt like the Great Depression in the United States massive uncertainty, even right now, with interest rates high and inflation being really, really high. And a lot of people are living with uncertainty. Well think about your business, and you're the CEO, what's going to happen? What's coming up? How are people going to be performing at work? Is this market going to change? are we offering the right products or services? What's going on with the future of the business, the future of the team? Especially as it relates to my family. And are we going to have? Are we going to be able to grow the business to a place where I can sell it and have the nest egg that I want in my future? Or investments? And are they going to pan out the way that I want them to?

So I'm set for retirement? You know, all those kinds of things we think about is all this thinking about the future, the future, the future? And what's happening, and how does that apply to today? And business owners are a unique bunch, because you own a business. And you've got this expensive thing and all these people and money go in here, there and everywhere. And then you've got a family. And you've you're living in constant potential uncertainty. And so there's always going to be a level of that. But where the uncertainty really gets us is it comes back to fear. And it comes back to stress. Because what we really want to do is control it, don't we? We want the uncertainty good to go away. We want to know what to do. We want to know how things are gonna go. But it's it's learning to manage through uncertainty. That's the key, and having the information the people that can pour into you. And having the information that helps you actually have some better information from which to make decisions, so that we can lessen the uncertainty because living with it constantly leading to constant fear and stress is going to be very unhealthy for us. Another one is anxiety. Let's go beyond stress. Let's go to anxiety. And so there's been a few moments in my life that I have felt what was true anxiety. Stress can be sort of a regular thing that we deal with. But I'll never forget this time when I was taking a test in college. And I had what felt like a an anxiety attack a panic attack. I could not think at all my brain shut down. I was incapable of making decisions and answering these test questions another time. It happened as I was a restaurant server free of yours. And there was I think there was prolonged stress and things going on in my life. And then I was I was at work, and I'm serving tables. And there's a lot of stuff. I'm supposed to remember working with people in a fast-moving restaurant. And all of a sudden, I felt this anxiety, I had this, this panic attack. And I couldn't think I couldn't process. My heart rate was high, I had to go outside and get a break from it. And I did that hoping it would help me and it came back. And it did nothing for me. And I stayed with a this panic attack anxiety for hours and hours in that shift. And then it happened again, the next day. On day two, I've served hundreds and hundreds of tables. And who knows how many people over eight years in restaurants, that only happened twice, and it happened to consultants on consecutive days. And it was crippling. And then there was another time that it happened as well, I've had these moments in my life. And so when we live with that, we got to look into analyze the body and see, well, something is very wrong here. Something should have been handled and addressed way sooner than it was, I probably had signs that if the right person was analyzing me and paying attention to me, they probably would have picked up on some things that it would have said, Joel, Hey, how are you doing? How are you feeling what's going on here? What's going on there. And then that could have helped me make a decision or get help in some way or whatever it may be.

So that wouldn't be dealing without anxiety. But a lot of times anxiety is not even, it's not even noticeable in the way that I'm describing. That it can be worked to a level that's easy to overlook. And now you are that proverbial cliche, car engine running without oil, grinding and grinding and grinding. And this leads to another problem or mental health thing that we need to be able to see and talk about. And that's depression, where you reach a place where you're just where you're saying things like I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't like this, I don't like my life, I don't want to do it. I'm over dealing with the same problems all the time. And so you can hear your words and your words are should be feedback to you of where your mental health is, that it may you may be ready for a break. It may be as simple as that you may need a week off, you may need longer than that taxi, be able to get your health right and get your brain right. Because you have ground yourself to a place of depression, or worries about people. And worries about people's opinion of you of a small business owner puts you to a place of fear and stress. What is my team think I don't I'm feeling like things are coming apart. I'm feeling all this stress. I'm feeling like I don't know what to do. And I don't know how to navigate all these things. I don't mind and then it's creating problems at home, and your stress is showing up there. And because you're snippy or you're not around, or you just feel stressed and not a control at home, so you know that's leading to conflict and arguments. And then you feel bad and guilty because of how you know you're showing up at home. And it all leads to all this stuff is coming apart. And things start to feel like they're collapsing. I know I'm painting this like doom and gloom. But this is real common stuff that you may be resonating with that I see working for years and years and years with CEOs and small business owners that this stuff is incredibly common, especially when we start working together. Another thing that affects mental health is questioning your decision-making all the time and worrying about are you making the right decisions or the wrong decisions. Because you're the one at the top the proverbial top. And so you're sitting there wondering like, am I even doing this? Right? Are we even focusing on the right things? Am I prioritizing correctly? You know, should I be focusing on this? I see other people focusing on that, but I'm not focusing on that I see other people running their business like that, you know, x, y, z, but I'm not running it x, y, z. Maybe I'm not doing it right. Maybe they're not doing it right. I'm not really sure. And there's all this uncertainty. And then there's all this questioning is that how many other people who carry all this stress and pressure the business are also sitting there questioning their decisions all the time. You sure you have team members, I'm sure that do this too, but probably not to the same level that you do are with the same stress and pressure that you do as the CEO. And this is just another thing that needs to be addressed and worked on.

Okay, so where does all that bring us like what do we need to do with this? What's What how do we how do we solve this? How do we help ourselves? So this is where the people in your life and your tribe and who you have in your life is is critically important. Because it's like that's that is going that is a key reading books. I don't think Not good enough. It's not just about information we need the right people around us. So this is where as CEOs and as leaders, we do not need to go alone on doing this stuff. So hear me say this, this, like, yes, we're a coaching company, this is what we do. But what I don't want you to hear is an advertisement, I want you to tune in and hear what's needed for your mental health and your emotional health, and for you to make better decisions. So you have more confidence, and you have better ideas of what to do and small business ownership and small business leadership in your life. That's what this is about.

So it doesn't matter ultimately, who we're working with here. This is why there's so many different community or coaching groups out there. Some so many different entrepreneurs start their own mastermind groups, some so many different owners go and have their 123 people that they go meet with at the local fast food, restaurant and talk business is because of this, this, there's so much goodness to doing that, because we've got to get out of our own head. And we've got to surround ourselves, with people and with people that actually can relate to us, who can also help us with navigating business who can help us navigating the balance of business leadership and life. That's what we've got to do in order to combat isolation. So one of the first places you can start is within your own business, that if you don't look at your business, and have what you would call a leadership team, it's time to get to work that we've got to figure out, okay, how do I get the leadership team done a lot of small business owners that have grown something, and they've got managers or they've got some people over some things, and those people report to you. But you wouldn't call it a leadership team. We need that team to be formed. Because within that team, it now combats isolation, because that becomes your new go-to team rather than just being you leading managers, are you leading leaders who go lead teams, and those people are closer to their teams than they are closer to you, you're still isolated in this scenario, you need a team.

So start within your own business. If you're at the place, and you've got the team and the leaders there, we've got to get to work starting to create a leadership team. So when teams come through and work with us on their business for a week, and this thing we call strat plan, that they do a ton of work on the leadership team, they walk out of here making decisions better together, they know each other better, they walk out with better accountability, and their communication has skyrocketed in the week that they've actually came in and hung out with us for a week they leave as a stronger leadership team.

So start with start within, because what did we start to do when we have when we have early close team, we start to be more vulnerable. We start to be more transparent, we start to share, we do more together, we share harder things, we make decisions together, we spend quality time together, hopefully, in really good healthy quality communication. So what does this look like? So it's like, okay, I got a job. Okay, leadership team, I need to work on that. What does that look like? Well, what are your meetings look like? What meetings do you all need to have? Do you have a leadership team meeting every week, where you people prepare for it? And people communicate and they bring the issues that they have within their teams? They have they bring personnel issues that let's discuss it as a team, let me gain perspective. Let's coach each one another. Are we actually how are we going to handle this person that struggling? You know, what, what stressors are going on within their teams that they're not sure about? Or that they want to inform the other leaders about say, Hey, this is a thing. We're combating this, this is holding us back. This is an issue here? Or do we come? Do we talk strategy, meaning the strategy we've planned within the business? So let's say you've got a sales leader, and a marketing leader, and then an operations leader, or a service manager? Does everyone know what everyone's doing? Not to the level of detail? That's, you know, I'm not saying it's every single detail of every single team? But do we know what's going on in the business? Are we making decisions together? Are we giving input to one another? Are we asking really great questions? Are we helping and supporting each other, you know, acting like a team is through really quality meetings and really quality communication, that we are doing this thing together for a CEO so powerful, because it's a it's instantly I'm not having to do all this together. We're doing it as a team. We're actually you're spreading out even the weight, the pressure, the decision making. It's not on me, it's no decisions aren't on just just a leader and many of your leaders of course, you're going to continue to make decisions. But now there's all this taxing of the collective intelligence within leadership. team. So now we're making better decisions. Hopefully, we're communicating better. And we simply feel more connected to the leaders within our business. So there are leadership teams that I know of that were once not a leadership team, to where they've grown to a place where they now where they quarterly once a year, twice a year, they travel away together, they go do hunting trips together, fishing trips together. Why? Because they're the leadership team of the company. And they the they see the value in the relationships, they see the value and quality connection, they see the value in spending personal time together to build trust and rapport with each other. That then comes back home with them. And now they operate within the business together at a different level of unity. Because the trust is so high, because they know each other so well.

It's all a matter of how seriously do you do you just take things? How much how deep do you want to go into this? Because some of y'all Malakal man, I can't do that I can't, I can't do the fishing trip hunting trip type of thing that you don't, you don't have to go do that, obviously. But hopefully the point is hitting you that I need deeper connection in relationship to the other managers to the other leaders within my team so that we start meeting like a team and acting like a team. Another option that many CEOs have is doing coaching programs like we offer that says this is who we serve, I mean, the CEO, small business owner, you are the primary person that we serve within this business. Yes, we work with key leaders in the business as well. Yes, we work with others. But primarily, we're here to support small business CEOs and owners to be able to steward business better run business better grow business better, so that you're not operating alone. So that you have people that know what it's like to run businesses, which is our coaches, people who know what it's like to lead. But also, you're in a urine, these coaching programs are full of peers, and peer connection is so important.

So whether it's a Next Level Mastermind program like we offer, or whether it's starting your own thing with just an entrepreneur, buddy, or getting together, you know, on on the weekend together, and being able to connect with someone else is so powerful, because then what are we trying to bust isolation, we're trying to bust stress, pressure, fear potential, even the worst case scenarios like high anxiety and depression. Because we're now flying with somebody else in life that gets it that knows what it's like to be you that who helps you make decisions, someone that you can share stuff with and vulnerable things and share fears and struggles that you're having or uncertainty that you're having that you wouldn't want to share with your team. Because, frankly, you're afraid it may freak them out. If they knew that you were struggling with that, or hey, here's this financial stressor that's coming up, I need help navigating it. And you know, you're not at a place where even want to talk to the team about it. You need to have a safe, confidential place where you can go for people that actually know what it's like to be you. You know, another example of this, because we've done this for years is that there's a key leader within a business we've worked with for 10 years and that she called us up one day and that she and some peers, from other companies within the same industry. They're not competitors with each other same industry. And so they all knew each other were four different leaders and for different companies, and they were starting their own mastermind, and why for some of the reasons I'm talking about today, and they know that all the things that we do to work with leaders and facilitate mastermind groups and do one on one coaching and put on, you know, leadership events and business training events and those kinds of things. And she called us up and asked us one day, Hey, would you all be interested in facilitating our mastermind group? And we said, Heck, yeah, of course we would. We'd love to do that. So now what I want you to see is they have the impetus to go do this themselves. They started their own mastermind group, and just asked us to come alongside them, to host them, but also to meet with them to facilitate their discussion. And to be able to ask really good questions that deepens their thinking, and gets them in having a facilitator that has a good listening ear that listens really well to all the conversations and all the people that helps them have a better connecting and education experience together. And we've now been facilitating and working with him for months now, but once you to see is you don't have to have a facilitator like us to do that. That if you're interested in that wonderful, but if you're not, this is something you can do on your own. The point is recognizing how important this is that it's vital to your success.

So what gets in the way of us doing things like this one fear, fear of other people's opinions? Oh, they're gonna see me as a failure. Oh, it already feel like you know a fraud, I already have the imposter syndrome that tells me I'm not good enough and who am I to do a business and who am I to be out here competing with these other people and all this limiting belief junk that gets in our heads, these lies that say that we're simply not good enough, we're simply not worthy, we're not smart enough to do this. And we've got to learn to battle that crap. Because it just holds us back. And so that'll hold you back from connecting with other people that'll hold you back from starting your own peer group that'll hold you back from joining a coaching program. It was other things pride is just you don't want to show that you don't want to show that vulnerability, that weakness that you know that just the pride holds us back our own ego, our own, oh, I got this I can take care of I don't need other people, I don't need other information, I've got enough, and that can hold us back. And then our pride keeps us in isolation. There's no trophy for that there's no trophy for winning in this kind of way. It's a matter of trying to ease the stress and ease the burden, and make being a CEO and make business at least a little bit easier. Because it's always hard. I'm not the CEO of our company, and the president of our company, Chris is the CEO of this company. But I'll tell you, there's a lot of stress that comes in the job, there's a lot of ways to be responsible.

So why I don't fully get it to walk in your owner's shoes, I get it as close I feel like anyone can. That's not currently owning a business. I used to own a business though. And so I knew what it was like to have all these limiting beliefs in you know, 1012 years ago, when I had my own business, I knew what it was like to walk in that stuff, the fears and the stresses and the pressures. And now in today's shoes, it's like I work with you all the time. And I hear these things. And I see the confidence grow, that when someone gets plugged into a mastermind group, someone gets plugged into working with a coach, that the hope starts to rise, the confidence starts to rise, the mental health starts to improve, the decision making starts to improve. And you start to get momentum, tackling things, solving problems, putting things in place, like new ways new, whether it's new forms of communication within your team, you're starting to focus more on accountability because you're starting to get the energy and the tenacity to actually do the hard things of leadership, that may be flying alone in operating in isolation has held you back because frankly, you reach a place where you're like, gosh, I don't want to do that. I don't I don't have the energy to do that hard work, I don't have the energy to do that leadership work. And then you start to surround yourself with other like-minded people. And all of a sudden you start to feel inspired, you start to feel motivated to do hard things. And then you can look at the person in the mirror and be proud of them. Rather than seeing a person that's avoiding things, or that's really struggling, and don't hear shame or judgment we've all been there we are all some of these are there regularly, we ebb and flow out of them. But you start to look at the person in the mirror. And you start to be proud of yourself that you're now doing hard things that you're not avoiding hard things within your business anymore. All these things are results and impact of no longer operating alone of no longer operating and leading within isolation. Because you've built the community, whether within your leadership team or within your team, or you've built a community or joined a community of like-minded people that now uplift you and give you great information that actually works. And so you can come back to the well and get more from your peers or from a coach and be able to keep going week after week, month after month of tackling things that if six months ago, you would have never had the resolve to actually tackle because you felt drained. He felt burnt out. He would have said I just don't have the energy or we you would have been the excuse of I'm just too busy. I don't have the time, which is never our issue. And we it's all as always a matter of priorities, isn't it? It's not a matter of time. We have phenomenal capacity as people. But sometimes we need help from other people to help us get mentally and emotionally stronger. And then that becomes the new trajectory. That becomes the new force of habit is now knocking stuff off solving things. Things improve with the team communications better, accountability is better. The business is growing more profits hitting the bottom line. The more we can grow, the more we can invest, because we've now got hard work after hard work after hard work moving in a better direction. Why? Because you're We're taking care of you. And you've now have your mental health to a place where it's healthier, where you can do the heavy lifting, and handle the stress and the things that are coming at you with better resolve and better fortitude. That's the transformation that comes with it. That's why we're doing it. And then that spills over into our home life. And we come home and we're happier. And we feel better, we feel more secure, we feel less fear, we feel more energized about now what we're doing at work and within the business that we own. Isn't that what we're after? It's like that kind of a picture that all can come from not going alone in recognizing that if you are flying alone and flying, isolated, why it's so important to stop doing that. So to close, I want to encourage you to take a step. If you this is you and it resonates with you think through what is my next step. Who do I contact someone I know, is it us said that the Chris Accardo team that tell me about what you guys do? Is the NAM interested in that? Take a step to figure out where can you plug into shoot at minimum plug into a Facebook group, some of you I'm gonna call man, Joe, I'm over Facebook. But if you're not you're on it, get connected in some way that actually starts to help you and starts moving you in a better direction, that if you find the right group and the right information, it's going to be priceless to you. And you'll look back and you'll see how this was one of the best decisions that you've ever made.

So guys, I hope this was helpful. As always, I hope it was encouraging. For more information. And to help you lead better, visit us at Chris LoCurto.com. Again, it's www dot Chris LoCurto .com There is a treasure trove of resources on there have podcast episodes, hundreds and hundreds of episodes, hundreds and hundreds of blog posts, lots of resources there. And also there's information there if you want to get connected with our team to take advantage of. So as always, I hope this has been helpful for you. I hope it's been encouraging. I hope that you do take that next step. And I hope that you join us on the next episode.