574 | Leading Through Change: Your Questions Answered – Part 1

Welcome to the Chris LoCurto Show, where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are. Welcome to the show, folks. I hope you're having a fabulous day wherever you are today.

We are answering real life questions submitted by leaders who just like you are eager to enhance their skills and lead with confidence, lead with integrity.

And these questions came from our attendees at the Next-Level Leadership LIVE Event that just wrapped up a few weeks ago. And this event gathers leaders and small business owners from all over who want to grow in their leadership.

So unfortunately, I wasn't able to, or we, our leadership team wasn't able to answer all the questions that we had and we got a lot. So I'm gonna try and tackle some of those right now.

So let's get started on these questions. So I have no order here. I just got a bunch of questions that were given in.

And so the first question is, what or how do you tactfully and respectfully move key team members out of roles that you have now discovered they are not a great fit for?

So, great, fantastic question. There are so many caveats to this. There's so many things that we need to cover. And so if I just take this question at face value, they've done all their job, they've done all their due diligence, they have made sure that they aren't the problem as a leader.

They have made sure that the other team member isn't, you know, accomplishing the things that, that, that are required. But lemme kind of back up a little bit and say, what if that hasn't happened?

So assumedly from this question, they've done all the things that are needed, what are, what's needed? Well, what I always say is, the first thing you need to do is rule you out.

You as a leader, you need to be ruled out. Are you the problem? And many times we put somebody in a role, and we did not set them up for success.

We didn't give them all the information that they need. We didn't give them all the tools that they need. We didn't give them great accountability. We put 'em in a seat because we needed a warm body somewhere.

And then, you know, 3, 6, 9 months later, we recognized that that person is struggling. So before I can get to the final answer, let me say, let's always make sure that you have done your due diligence to make sure you're not the problem.

And I can tell you, for a lot of leaders, especially high S personality styles, I and Cs, not so much Ds, Ds will probably just get in there and bust it up pretty quickly, maybe too quickly before they should.

Without all the information, that's always a possibility. But for a lot of folks, what tends to happen is, is they hate the conflict. They can't stand getting in there and, and showing somebody that they're failing, that they're not doing a good job.

And and many times the assumption is that it is all that team member's fault, and they should be fixing this and they should be doing it correctly. So we try not to do that at all.

Instead, we're constantly trying to find out how somebody is not doing their job the way they're supposed to. We're constantly trying to find out if they're doing a great job.

We're constantly looking at how people are performing and asking ourselves the questions. Are they, are they coming up with the key results that we expect from them? If they are not, why not?

And so for us, what we will do is we will sit down with every team member and we will go through everything that we expect, everything that we've explained, make sure that we've communicated really well.

Here's what we expect of you. Here's what we're looking for. Here's what this role should look like and see if they're actually doing what we desire. If they are not, that's when we start pressing in.

Now, oftentimes you might have a team member that will say, well, you know, I know that's the way that you used to do it, and then you, you know, delegated it to me, but I can't do it the same way you did.

I don't have the same tools or, or, I've got the tools that you used, but they don't work as well. For me, it would be so much better if I used this tool over here. It is quite common to hear a lot of reasons as to why somebody is not doing exactly what you want them to do.

Here's the thing, what if they're right? What if they are correct? If you have this prejudice against this person that nope, they're just doing it wrong. They're just screwing it up.

They, you know, I'm getting upset because this thing isn't being done correctly. Whatever that is that you're experiencing, if you have not made sure that you as a leader have set them up for success, then currently you are the problem.

Do they have everything necessary? So what I will do is I'll sit down, or my leadership team will sit down with somebody and go through this process.

Help me to understand why you're not doing this. Help me to understand why you're not executing this over here. How, help me to understand why you're not communicating with this person over here.

They will go through whatever it is that the person is struggling with based off of the KRAS that we've already put together for them. If you've not done those, you've gotta get that stuff done.

You know, it is vitally important for you to have accountability through areas like KRAs. So they will sit down with that team member and try and find out what they believe is the reason.

If leadership is the problem in any way, and by that I mean support tools, access to something, whatever it is, we will solve that problem first. We wanna get everything out of the way.

That may be leadership's fault, leadership's problem. We wanna set them up for success the best way we can. I know as a, as a entrepreneur, as a business owner, the way that I accomplish things is not necessarily the same that other people will do it.

I can get a lot of things done. I could knock things out. I can find ways to do things that are maybe unconventional.

And so when I turn it over to somebody else, they're probably not going to be the same personality style and they're probably not gonna approach it the same way I will.

So instead, I need to look through this and go, well, I was able to do it with, you know, two tin cans and a string. Maybe they need something else. Maybe they need more than that.

And since I don't want to be the one who owns this anymore, I want somebody to be better than me at what I used to do. You know, at this thing that I'm delegating.

Maybe they need something more than two tin cans and a string. Maybe they need a computer, a software, whatever it is to do this better than I did it.

Keep in mind, if you're not getting people to do the thing you're delegating to them or whatever the role is that you're hiring them for better than you or the person before them, it's a mistake, right? We don't want to do the same or less than we're looking for better.

So if you've set them up for success, you've gone through this whole process, you're using KRAs, you've given them the tools that they need, you've given them the, the attention by answering questions and everything that you've, you've needed to do for them to execute successfully on the KRAs, then we can say at that point, everything that is failing must be on that team member.

So at that point, how do you tactfully and respectfully move a key team member? This is not somebody who is, you know, this isn't just a regular team member according to this question. This is a key team member out of that role. What do you do?

So the key here is tactfully and respectfully. If you have done everything by following the accountability process, then you have had multiple discussions. Multiple, you didn't have one, you didn't have two.

This is a key team member. You didn't even have three. You had a heck of a lot more than that. Walking this person through what is failing, what is not fitting in this role, right?

So this is the one part that I will probably push back on. The leader who asked this question is, this should not be a surprise to this person at this point, right?

If you've done everything the way that we teach it, then this key leader is probably not surprised at all. They, they are expecting that they are failing.

So how do you respectfully so tactfully, you've already done that aspect of it, right? You've gone through the accountability process. So how do you do it respectfully?

This is where, for me, what I will do, and again, I don't know the exact role, but what I will tend to do with a team, and let me also give another caveat in here.

Whenever I hire somebody into a leadership role, I let them know, Hey, if this role ever outgrows you, then I'm gonna have to put somebody else in it, right?

So there's, there's no surprise on if it outgrows 'em. They, they understand that if they can't keep up with the role, then I'm gonna have to do something about it, right? But here we're talking about they're just not a good fit period.

And they've been in it for a while. So tactfully, I've gone through all the accountability pieces, now I'm gonna sit down with them with respect, and I wanna take responsibility. Yes, I did say me, I'm going to take responsibility.

I'm going to tell this person that I have made a mistake. You know, so if I'm sitting down with, you know, Joe, key leader, Hey, Joe, listen, you know, we've had a lot of conversations about the things that are not getting executed on a lot of conversations about the things that we're still expecting that aren't happening.

We've solved the things that, you know, you said were, were pieces that were missing to make you successful. Now we're sitting here and we're still not getting there. We're still not getting to the, the results that we need.

And so I'm at a place, you know, we've talked about this multiple times, that if we can't get there, then I'm gonna have to do something different.

I'm gonna have to, you know, move you out of this role or, you know, replace you or whatever, whatever the conversation has been up until this point.

And even if I haven't said that, then I would say, you know, we're at a point that I can't continue with you being in this role this way, and it's my fault.

I did not do a good enough job making sure that this role fit you. You are great, you're a great person. You know, I, I love having you on the team.

If all of this is honest, if those pieces are honest, that I'm gonna say those things, you know, maybe it's somebody you really love and you just want to get them outta that one role, but you still have a role from them somewhere that they can execute really well.

So, you know, you're a great asset to the team. I appreciate it. But at this point, I've got to find somebody to step into this role that can really rock this role. So that is gonna be my approach. My expectation is that there may be some pushback.

Now for most of you out there that are going, Chris, you're, you're on crack, of course there's gonna be a lot of pushback. No.

If you followed all of the things ahead of time, like we, our, our lesson on how to fire people, on how to walk somebody through, you know, a work process, how to get them, you know, to see that they're, that they are failing at the thing that you're asking 'em to do.

If you walk through all of these things that we teach, then amazingly, this person is not surprised. This person is sitting there going, I knew this day was gonna come. And they're wondering how you're gonna deal with it.

So I, I don't always suggest, as a matter of fact, I'm, I, I, I hesitate to say this. So let me throw caveats on, on this. If you have a great fit somewhere else in the business and you can drop them in that role, and you're not doing this as a mercy move, right?

You're not gonna put 'em in another role that they're gonna fail at. 'cause that would just be, that wouldn't be mercy. That would, you know, that would be cruel because in six months you're gonna remove them from that role too.

If they do have another, if there is another role that they fit really well in, then great. That is an opportunity for you to offer that. You do have to think about if they're a key leader, are they taking a pay cut?

They might be, it sounds like they're probably gonna be taking a, a title cut. You know, they're, they're a, a demotion in effect that you're removing them from this key leader role.

Where are you putting them? I doubt you're putting them in another key leader role. So these are things you have to think through.

What does that discussion look like? Because who knows, they might not want it. They might not accept the demotion. They might be too prideful and actually would rather leave the business. That's a possibility.

That's a high probability in a lot of ways. If they don't leave the business, then you might find that, you know, three weeks later they're struggling with pride like crazy.

So these are things you need to be thinking about, but tactfully walk through the process that you need to respectfully think about what it would be like if you were in their seat. You know?

And another great way to think about this is, if this was your child, you know, sitting in that seat and they were working for somebody else, some other leader, how would you want that leader to treat them? Right?

So think about that and then do the best you possibly can to help them to see from everything we've discussed, here's where we're today and here's where I need to move forward with.

You know, this is what I need to do going forward, what I need to do with you, what I need to do with this role.

I understand if this is something that you aren't able to accept, you can walk through that whole process of, you know, are you going to be okay in this new role?

Are you gonna be okay with the pay? Are you gonna be okay with the change in title? All of those things. I would say even give them time to go think about it, give them time to go pray about it.

Maybe go pray with their spouse. Give them time to process through what's about to happen. What you will find is that there's a decent percentage of people that their pride is, is is too hurt at this moment to stay and move into another role.

That doesn't mean that it's everybody. There's been a lot of people especially, and this is a big reason why I take responsibility.

Because if I take responsibility, then when I report to other people, like other leaders or whatever, 'cause you're gonna have to at some point communicate what's going on, that this person is being moved, then I get to communicate, Hey, this was my fault. I didn't do a good job.

Or this was the leadership team's fault. We didn't do a good job making sure that this role fit. And Joe is very happy to be stepping out of this role. So we're moving Joe over here and we're gonna be looking for somebody to fill this role.

But everybody here is just glad and excited for Joe because we know we've stressed the living daylights outta him.

So that is a great respectful way to report to the team what's going on the, the team that you need to, and that takes care of the team member as best as you possibly can.

Keep in mind, this is a key team member. So there's 47 different ways this could go, but if you're thinking through all these pieces, then it should go close to the best it possibly can.

Alright, that was question one. This may not be a single episode. We might be doing multiple episodes on this.

So question number two, what might be causes or things to look for in employees whose values have changed drastically when taking the assessment?

For instance, their Economic went from 13 to 70. Okay, so what this leader is talking about is the Values profile.

We also call it motivators. This is, this goes with the DISC. If you have not done your DISC, had your leadership team and your team do DISCs, get it done.

It is a powerful piece for communication. chrislocurto.com/store. You gotta get it.

So with this, we also do what's called the DISC+, where not only do you have the DISC, that the aspects of their personality style, the, the way that they give information, receive information that the way that they act and react, we also have the things that motivate them.

And on this event, we just taught, geez, four lessons, four different segments on teaching people on the different values, the different motivators that people have, and how to utilize those in your business, whether it's in your hiring process or you know, whether it's looking at somebody who's already in a role.

Like let's take question number one. You know, a key team member. Maybe this role is not motivating them to do their absolute best, whatever it is. We use these Values/Motivators to understand what truly motivates somebody.

So this question is, you know, what should you be looking for in the team member whose value has changed, like an Economic going from a 13 to a 70?

Well, first thing is to understand what is the difference between a 13 and a 70 and an Economic now for a high Economic things that our, our standard is, you know, people hear the term 'economic' and they think they are completely money motivated.

They are, money is very important. The higher the Economic, the more money is used as a scorecard. In other words, if they are making money, they don't care.

You know, it could be, Hey, I, if I get a big bonus at the end of the year and it was more than I made last year, great, I'm winning.

It could be something so simple as that. However, money is not the biggest focus for a high Economic. Return on investment is, and this is not just money, it's everything. It's time. It's, you know, if I'm gonna go spend time at this event, what am I gonna get from it?

If I'm gonna come over to your house, you know, and you've got a, a, a birthday party for five year olds and you know, there's 25 5 year olds, you know, running around screaming, what's gonna be my return on this time that I'm investing?

This is literally how a high Economic looks at that. You know, if it's like, Hey, you're asking me to come over and spend time with 25 screaming five year olds, I, I think I'm gonna pass. I don't see anything there that, that is worth my time, my investment.

But if you're like, oh, no, no, no, we're gonna be in back, you know, we, we got a barbecue going on and we're gonna be playing poker. I dunno. Then they might, oh, well, totally, I definitely will come because that's worth their time.

So when you look at a high Economic, a high Economic is always evaluating what they're gonna get back from the investment, money, time, whatever tools, you know, resources, whatever.

It's-- Now, high Economics always hate when I say this at first, and then they're like, oh yeah, you're right. High Economics are not long term strategy thinkers. They just are not.

Now, when I say that, some of you high Economics out there going, yeah, I'm, no, you're not. If I told you you needed to take $10,000 and invest it for the next 20 years so that you get a great outcome, you'd be like, oh no, I could take that 10,000 and turn it into something else a heck of a lot faster.

Not looking at the long term. You might have a much better benefit because really what you're looking for is, if I can turn that 10 grand right now, I can make 12 or 15, what does that look like?

And then I can do something with that. That's how a high Economic thinks. What's the return? If I'm gonna put this time into it, what do I get out of it now? What do I get out of it in the short term?

So a person going from something like a 13 where money is absolutely not a scorecard, money is not important, money is not something that they're focused on.

What they are focused on at that point is whatever motivates them in the other six categories, right? So you would look at this and go, return on investment is not a big focus.

So a 13 is probably not somebody I'm gonna put in my, you know, my sales team, most likely because depending upon what I'm selling.

So another caveat there, depending upon what I'm, but if it's a normal sales team, I probably want somebody who actually is looking for a better return on the time that they're spending, right?

So what do I look for in somebody who's gone from a 13 to a 70 man that, that is drastic, right? So a couple of things that we could look at and understand is, is it possible that they've gone through something traumatic or something difficult recently?

So for me, I have had a time of being a very high Economic, and most of the time being a mid Economic, when I was getting out of debt, geez, 25 years ago, 24 years ago, I became a very high Economic, and why is that? Because I was super motivated.

I was sick of having debt. I was like, this is stupid. I shouldn't be in this position. I don't like this position. I don't like somebody having this kind of power over me that I owe them all this money.

And it was a mortgage, it was consumer debt. And so I went ballistic. And funny thing is, is during that time, I took a Values profile and I think my economic was like an 81.

Now my highest has always been Altruist, which I think is 88, I believe it's 87, 88. And man, my Economic was way up there. Now why? Because I was heavily motivated to get out of debt. I was done, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

And so I went ballistic working multiple jobs, you know, eating just the cheapest stuff I could, so I could use every single dollar to get outta debt.

Within one year, consumer debt was gone. Four years later, the mortgage debt was gone. So, you know, I'm, I'm somebody who's been completely debt free for 20 years and absolutely loving it.

So, but that timeframe, especially during the consumer debt timeframe, that first year, man, I was a high Economic. I was all about that return on event, what I was, where I was gonna spend my time, what I was gonna do with my resources, all of that mattered.

Funny thing is, I don't remember exactly how long after that time that I paid off the consumer debt, but there was a time that, you know, maybe it was a, a year later or something like that, I took that Values profile again and I was a 48 and I've been in that mid-range for a very long time.

Why? Because money is not a scorecard for me. Money is not that important for me. Return on investment, I'm a high Altruist.

I will give time to people beating my head against a wall to try and help somebody, you know, change decision-making in their lives.

You know, before I finally realized, okay, this just isn't working out, you gotta back out of this. The return on investment for me is, can I help somebody change their life? Can I help?

I'm a teacher, I'm an altruist. Can I remove pain from somebody's life? So for me, investing that time is important. You can't do it without investing time.

So I'm actually more on the Altruistic hope that change is going to happen at some point than I am, that I need to see it in a short period of time.

My hope is, is that I can spend time helping somebody, and at some point they make decisions to do things differently. That is my hope. But it doesn't always happen that way.

Sometimes I'm really in for it, you know, for the long haul. I know that the, it's gonna take time for somebody to make different decisions, right? So what are you looking at when you see somebody who's gone from a 13 to a 70?

It could very well be, so it could be, in my mind, one of two things. They weren't very honest in either the first or the second profile that they took. Maybe they weren't understanding some of the questions, which is very highly unlikely.

You don't usually see somebody with the Values really messing that up. They're pretty spot on. The other thing is, it could be that something has happened that has really driven this.

Maybe they are spending a ton of time with another high Economic, and they're learning from that person's point of view, the importance of being a high Economic, the importance of return on investment, the importance of going after stuff and tackling things and making them happen.

The importance of money according to their perspective. So the things that you should be looking for, and that, what I would do is I would sit down and I would just have a conversation.

I wanna know, you know, I'm somebody who loves gaining perspective. I, I don't have a problem sitting down and asking questions. So with this person, if I saw this, this profile, I would be asking questions that are aligned with the, the aspect of the profile that I see raised up that's extreme.

13 to 70, you know, I'd be asking questions of, Hey, how are things in life? You know, I just, I I would literally tell them upfront, I see this big change, this shift from a 13 to a 70.

So I wanted to get with you and talk to you about, you know, what's happened, what's going on? Is this okay that I have this conversation with you? Oh, sure, absolutely. Great.

Hey, what's going on? Personally, is there anything that has happened? Has there been any struggles lately? Anything that you need help with, or anything that you feel like you're, you're having pressure financially or you know where you're spending your time or any of that.

I would ask questions to see how they respond. You know, do you feel that money is more of a scorecard now? Or that you don't have time to spend on things unless it's really, you know, giving you a, a quick response, a, a, a quick return.

I would ask questions like that and see what they say. And that's gonna give you a baseline for understanding. Have they changed? Did something happen?

You know, are they seeing things differently now? And then I'm gonna ask the question, as a leader, does this fit the role that they are currently in?

You know, do I want them to be, if I put somebody, now, this would be assuming that you put somebody in a role that you knew that they were a 13 economic and it was gonna fit the role, right?

Obviously, because they've got six other Motivators, and those things should balance. But what if you've now got a 70 Economic in a role that doesn't have the same quick returns, right?

Is this person gonna get bored? Is this person gonna get frustrated? Is this person going to eventually hate that role? What if they're great at it?

Well, if they're great at it, but they don't like doing it anymore, you're gonna have to solve this. You're gonna have to figure this thing out.

Maybe there's other spots that they could be better at with this newfound motivation. So it's tough to know without getting perspective from the person. The things to be looking out for is how are they responding to things like money?

How are they responding to things like where they invest their time or their resources?

And then again, just having a sit down conversation I think can be totally powerful and, and really help you to get to kind of the bottom of where they're coming from.

And is there something you should do? Or is there something you can fix?

All right, moving on to question number three.

So how can you lead to another Value/Motivator question?

How can you lead someone who has a certain Value/Motivator to see or do something new or different when that person is stuck in his own way of doing or thinking?

Wow. Yeah. So this is, this is tough for anybody, right?

It everybody is stuck usually in some way of thinking or, or doing. The key is, is, so I'm gonna have to take this, you know, with the information that I have.

So let's use the, well, let's not use the Economic, let's go to say, let's high Regulatory, somebody who is really focused on systems and processes, and they are musts.

You know, you must have systems in place, you must have processes in place. What does it look like if those aren't in place?

How frustrating is it for that team member? How difficult is it for them to perform? You know, if they are a high Regulatory, then they're also judging everybody else according to their Values.

The, you know, the, the, the way that they see the world. So what do we do with that person?

You know, let's say that we have a struggle where that person is holding tight to a specific process and they will not budge. And you're looking to get them to be flexible on this.

So what you would have to do is, one, ask yourself the question. Is being flexible in the process a good thing? Is it an okay thing? Do we have a process in place?

And it's there and it's, you know, written in stone, which nothing should ever be written in stone as far as the process, but is it in place because it has to be operated the way that it's written down? Why is it the process put in place the way that it is?

Is it something that, you know, we've had people mess this thing up multiple times in the past and we had to put something in place to make sure that didn't happen again in the future.

Is it something that it's, we, it was our first time ever doing a process. We, you know, we put down this process and we just haven't come back and looked at it since.

You have to ask yourself the question, if I want this person to be flexible, or is this, you know, in this question, what they're saying is to be able to see or do something new or, or different when, when they're stuck.

Do I desire the ability to be flexible in this process? Do I see a need to be flexible in this process?

Then evaluating the process and coming up with a flexible system, a system for the system of being able to say, Hey, listen, this is how this process should go 95% of the time. But we do have exceptions.

So for me, I'm always gonna be somebody who says, follow the stinking process. Follow the, the, the system, do the system with exceptions, and those exceptions are reserved.

What if we find a situation where we do need to do it a little bit differently? We don't know. Because, you know, after doing this for 30 some years, I've found many times that I needed to make an exception to a process.

So with this, you have to look at the process. Is flexibility okay? Or is looking at it a a different way? Okay, what, whatever it is that this specific person is asking, but you know, apply this to yourself.

You have to look at the process first or the thing first, or the, the way that they are stuck in first. And ask yourself, is it okay to be flexible? If it is, then what does flexibility look like? And how often is it? Okay?

So what you don't want is you don't want people going, oh, so we don't actually need the process. We could just do whatever we want. Nope, that is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, here's some parameters to where this can be flexible.

So first thing you have to do is find out what is flexible, what does it look like?  What are you willing to allow? Then you have to help the person to see the importance of being flexible.

Now, keep in mind, if you're talking to somebody who is really bent on not, you know, being flexible at all, that the system is the way that the system is, and you should do the system the way you should do the system, then they need to come to a place of understanding why.

Now all of a sudden you're saying it's okay not to do it that way. So you're gonna have to walk through explaining why this is okay to be flexible, but only at certain times.

Keep in mind, you tell one person, it's okay to be flexible. The guy over here who really doesn't wanna follow a system is now gonna change everything.

So if you put good parameters on it, and you sit down with the person and explain, Hey, listen, I need you to be flexible because you are stuck on how, you know, this system is going, what this process, whatever it is, and unfortunately it's holding up sales, it's holding up efficiencies, it's holding up whatever.

Help them to see that being stuck in their way is affecting the result that you're looking for. So with that, it is vitally important to help them to see that the expected result is even more important than the system or process, right?

Which is gonna be confusing at first. How could it possibly be if you, if the system works, we should get to the result. Well, what if we're not getting to the expected result? Because we will not be flexible.

We will not shift off of this, this process because we're stuck in our ways. So help them to see that you're expecting this result over here, and it's not any way you can get to that result.

It's follow the process, except in situations like A, B, or C where we may need to shift and get us to that result in a better way, faster timeframe, whatever it is.

So the way to lead them is to one challenge the thing that they're stuck on. Is it okay to not be stuck on the thing they're stuck on?

You know, again, how are they viewing it? How are they seeing it? And is it that they are doing it all on their own?

Or are they following something that was already put in place and now you need to make adjustments, then spend time, you know, put parameters on it, if it's okay for it to be different, changed, whatever.

To what extent you gotta still give some guardrails on this thing and then help that person to see how being stuck is affecting the outcome. The outcome, the, the, the expected result is more important than anything, right? We've got to get to that expected result.

If we can get there, then great. Do you see how you're, the way that you're doing this is keeping us from getting there.

So by doing so, that will really help that person to recognize that they are stuck. They may not agree with you. This is, they're probably not going to agree with you right away. This is probably gonna take some time.

But don't worry you, if you spend enough time and allow them to ask all kinds of questions and allow them to push back. 'cause they will, then what you'll find is, is that you'll get to a better outcome.

Folks, if you've been listening to me for any length of time, then you know, the number one issue when it comes to business, when it comes to family, when it comes to friendships, is having a lack of high quality communication to make sure that you are absolutely winning in every aspect of your life.

It all starts with having great communication. The best way to get that communication is to understand your personality style and to understand the personality style of the folks that you're spending the most time with, whether it be at work, whether it be at home.

The best way to do that is to go to chrislocurto.com/store and get your personality profile and personality profiles for your team today. Get it for your family members today.

As you go through that profile, you will begin to see the greatest ways to communicate. Go to chrislocurto.com/store today.

Moving on to question four, how can you help/lead yourself out of or prevent your own weakness?

Okay, that's fabulous question. And the great thing about the question is it has aspects of what the answer is going to be. You're aware.

So one of the biggest things to ever grow, to ever become better, to become a better leader, to become a a better spouse, parent, individual, whatever it is, is awareness. Being able to know.

So like one of the things we talk about a lot with personality styles is what we say is maturity. And what we say is that maturity is not defined by age.

You can be a 70-year-old, immature high, DIS, or C, right? Maturity is defined.

The way that we define it is by understanding yourself, understanding how you act, react, how you give information, how you receive information, how you're gonna respond in specific situations, how you're gonna treat people.

You know, all of those aspects are things that we believe to be maturity. The more mature you are in your personality style, the better you are to communicate.

Or what we say is lean in the direction of the other person. Leaning in the direction of somebody else is vital to winning with communication.

So by being able to understand your own personality style, you begin to mature. So it's kind of the same concept, right? It's that awareness.

When you come to know your weaknesses, you can do two things. You can deny them or you can do many things.

Actually, you can deny them, you can hide them and act as though they don't exist. You can become defensive, you can become a victim, or you can become very aware.

The more aware you are of what weaknesses you have, the more desire you will have. Hopefully, again, if you're, you're proactively seeking what your weaknesses are, then the more desire you will have to overcome those weaknesses.

So a great thing about not giving a rip about what other people think, what their opinions are, unless they're healthy people, you know, you should always be seeking wisdom from those who aren't trying to hurt you, who aren't trying to take you down, and who actually have wisdom.

That would be a good thing too. Not seeking those who are insecure, desiring to hurt you, any of that. That's not the kind of person you want to go get information from, right?

You're looking to get information from somebody who can help you. Now, as you seek what your weaknesses are, it's important to make sure that if you've been told what your weaknesses are, that hopefully it's coming from somebody who's healthy.

What do I mean by that? It is not uncommon to have people in your life who are unhealthy, set your reality. What I mean by that is, this is a phrase that we use, especially Next-Level Life, where somebody is telling you something about yourself, and it most likely is not true.

It may not be true, or it's a twisted version of what is actually truth, right?

So for us, what we want to do is, if I want to know what I am struggling with or weakness that I have, I'm gonna go to the healthiest people around me, and I'm gonna say, what do you see here?

Like, it, it's not uncommon for me over the years to go to some of my leaders, one of those who's now my wife and Joel Fortner as well, Aaron West, go to people and say, Hey, listen, here's something that I just experienced, or something that I just saw, or something that, you know, troubled me in some way.

Do you see that in me? Do you see, do I experience that? Do I have that give me input? Right? And the reason why is because I'm talking to healthy people that are gonna tell me the truth.

If it's not there, then it'll be like, Nope, not there. Why are you, why are you thinking that it might be? Well? And my answer to that is because I sure as heck don't want that in my life.

You know, I see that somewhere else, or I experienced that somewhere. I wanna make sure that I'm not putting that out a great thing.

So that's fantastic to hear, obviously. But a great thing is, yeah, that's something that, you know, you do this or something you experienced that in this time or this time, I want to hear from healthy people, what I struggle with, what my weaknesses are, that has allowed me to become very aware of where I'm weak.

So 20 some years ago, gosh, I don't even, it might be, yeah, it might even be longer than that, but 20 some years ago, I started implementing a meeting that allowed my team members to tell me what's wrong with my leadership.

So instead of just bringing them in into meetings that were really focused on them, once a month, I would have them come in and I would say, this meeting is not about you.

This meeting is about me. How am I doing as your leader? And that gave them the opportunity to tell me anything that they were experiencing. Now, obviously in the beginning, people were very gun shy.

Is this, you know, if I'm, am I gonna say something that's gonna come back against me? But the great thing is, is my team knew me. They understood me. We knew each other very well.

So people knew if Chris is asking for this, he's looking for truth. He's not gonna hold anything against you. He's not gonna, you know, I, I'm not the guy who rips your head off. I'm not that person.

So I'm looking for genuine information. And it was fantastic because immediately now I'm the guy who teaches communication.

But 20 some years ago, I got great insight into something that I was not communicating very well on. And it was great to hear it because it helped me to understand that was a weakness of mine, and I went ballistic to overcome it.

So in this question, how can you help lead yourself out of or prevent your own weaknesses?

You have to desire to know, you have to desire to have awareness about where you are weak. If you have that desire and you're okay with it.

I will tell you right now, I, I tell people all the time, I, I am not a great administrative person. I can suck at it at the stuff that I, that will take me four hours to do would take somebody on my team 30 minutes right?

I, that is not a place, I'm not a high CI am, I do enjoy tasks, but I'm not a crazy super high task person. I'm a High S I'm a High I.

I enjoy helping teaching, guiding, directing, developing people. I love that, right? I do love knocking off a checklist. That is great.

I love that. But one thing I have come to understand, and since I am a 67, I'm an 88 S and a 67, I, what I have come to understand is, is that in my early years, I tried to do everything.

I tried to accomplish everything. If it needed to be done, I could do it. I could figure it out. I can make it happen, right?

And I learned after it, you know, kicking me in the butt by things failing or me, you know, dropping balls on things. I realized this isn't fun. I don't like being the guy who tries to accomplish everything.

And it was in my early years back at E-Trade in the early nineties, and I started looking at, okay, if I, if I can't accomplish everything, I should focus on where I'm really good and solid.

And that's where I started recognizing and asking people, where am I weak? Where am I not good? Where do, where do you see me excelling?

And instead of trying to be all things to all people in those areas, I focused on the things that were the most important.

Well, at least that I thought was most important at the time, right?

So for me to overcome, prevent, or lead myself out of my weaknesses, the first thing I had to do was desire to have awareness.

The second thing I had to do was to seek healthy input on what those things were. There have been times in my life that I have asked for information from somebody, and they use that as a weapon.

And very quickly, you understand, oh, okay, you're not somebody who can actually give me quality information about myself.

This is your opportunity to, to seek power or to, you know, whatever, to try and hurt somebody. Disregard that. Let me go speak to somebody else who's healthy on the same piece of information right now.

This is not, if what you're hearing is go find people who will tell you what you wanna hear, that is never gonna help you. That is never gonna help you.

I love that. I have team members who are not afraid friends, family members who are not afraid to tell me like it is because they know I'm gonna do the same thing.

They know I'm gonna, if they ask me, Hey Chris, help me on this. Gimme some information. They know they're gonna get what I believe, what I see, obviously tempered in their personality style and what they're experiencing at the moment.

But if they're asking for truth on something so that they can better themselves, I'm gonna do everything I can to help 'em. That's my heart. I desire to help. I desire to develop people.

So don't seek people who are gonna tell you what you want to hear. Seek people who are gonna tell you truth whether you like it or not, and then ask yourself the question, what does it take for me to implement things, to overcome that, implement things, to solve that?

When I found out that I was not communicating very well on specific things that I thought, I just thought I was-- it was funny because I had a, my leader came in one, my sales team leader, and I asked her, I'm like, Hey, you know, tell me about my leadership.

Where am I failing? And she goes, your communication stinks. And I was like, what? What do you mean? And she goes, you know this thing over here. And I'm like, yeah. She goes, we know nothing about it.

I'm like, are you kidding? I thought you knew everything about it. She goes, Chris, that's your problem. You always assume that we know what's in your head, that we know what you know.

That was profound. And it showed me that I was failing my team. And I'm, I'm talking about failing my team because I was not setting them up for success.

I just kept assuming that they knew what I knew, and therefore they sure as heck didn't need me leading them on it. And that changed everything for me.

So by getting the awareness, I started putting steps in place. Well, how can I fix this? Well, the first thing I did was, so back in those days, I would have a legal pad, a yellow pad that I would do all my notes on.

This was actually in the early two thousands, like 2000, 2001 timeframe. And I would take all my notes on that, and I would go into a meeting with my team and I would lead the meeting the way I would normally lead it.

And then I would ask a bunch of questions. I wanted to know how I screwed up. Hey guys, does this make sense? What doesn't make sense? What information do you need?

What else would you like to, you know, know about that may be attached to this somehow? Or maybe not. What questions do you have for me? And I would literally write down the questions that they would say. And then I would go back.

And then the next time I had to present something to my team, I would go through my normal process and the questions that they asked. And then I would go through and present a heck of a lot more information.

And then their questions would be less and less and less until I really understood my team well and could communicate really well. And then still always ask, you know, the questions of, of clarity.

What do you need? By doing that, I led myself out of one of my weaknesses. I overcame one of my weaknesses of not sharing enough information because I assumed everybody knew it.

That was a powerful piece. So you've just gotta take a look at that. What, what weaknesses do you experience? If it's not leading people to success, why not?

You know, it might be because you believe that you don't know how to lead people. Okay, great. Then how are we gonna get information on that? You've got to get great coaching.

You've got to get quality people who are telling you exactly what you need to do, where you're stuck, where you're struggling, how you can fix that, how you can change that.

And then you need to go and implement. The biggest aspect of this whole entire question is implementation. What do you do with the information that you've learned? Then you can overcome your weaknesses.

Another great piece to this is maybe you don't need to overcome your weakness. Maybe it needs to remain a weakness and you need to focus on greater strengths.

There are things that I am just not gonna spend time on. There are things that I have realized I suck at that somebody else is much better. Let me pay them, put them in the role so that they can do it.

And I will focus on the things that I'm strong with. My team does not want me stuck in administrative stuff. They want me focused on the high level things. That's where my strengths are. So I stay out of the areas.

It doesn't mean that I don't know what's going on. It doesn't mean that I don't have my finger on the pulse. It doesn't mean that my leadership team doesn't. It means that I don't need to be the one who's doing it.

So, great question. Awareness, healthy input, steps to overcome it, implementation. Those are all super important. All right, this is gonna be the last question I take on this episode. We're gonna have to do two episodes, 'cause I'm only halfway through with this one right here.

What type of people will take advantage of an Altruist?

Ooh, good question. How does the altruist or someone close, like a another leader, assist them with allowing that to not happen?

Okay, so again, this a lot like the last question I'm gonna start with. The most important thing is the awareness factor, right? Do you understand what it means to be an Altruist?

Do you understand why altruism motivates you? So as a very high Altruist, I will tell you, there was a time in my life that I shut off people. I swore off people.

I was so sick of being hurt and so sick of being stepped on, and so sick of being used. I was like, I'm just done with people. And I had a timeframe in my life where it was very lonely, but at least I wasn't being hurt.

And that was overcome. When I felt like God said, Hey, dummy. Of course I didn't hear God say, Hey dummy, I did feel like God said you didn't have to allow them to hurt you. And that blew me away.

That was crazy profound right there. God helped me to realize that it's okay for me to help people, but I don't have to allow. This is the big key Altruist. Allow them to hurt me.

Here's the deal. I can't make you feel anyway. I can't make you feel bad. I can't make you feel stupid. I can't make you feel guilty. I can't make you anything.

And one of the issues that we have in a lot of Altruists is they are so we, we can see people's potential. We can see things in folks that they, they don't even see about themselves.

We're incredibly observant. We are very empathetic. We're very in touch with what's going on. The problem with that is, is that other people latch onto that because now they have somebody, especially narcissist.

I will say that that's a big key. When looking at who's going to do this, people will latch onto that because they recognize that those of us who are altruists are gonna do whatever we can to help them.

And then it becomes fuel for that person. It becomes power and energy for that person.

If they're unhealthy, if they are somebody who is seeking development, if they're somebody who's seeking help, then it becomes a very powerful tool to use to help somebody grow, become better if they are not.

And the question is, what type of people take advantage? The type of people who take advantage of altruists are those who are looking to fulfill themselves.

Those who are really heavily self-focused. I'm not just talking about self-centered, I'm not just talking about selfish, right? Those are definitely gonna be people who are looking to take advantage of an Altruist.

But a person who feels like they've gained power, feels like that they have gained strength by taking advantage of somebody who's helping them. That is the person that is gonna take heavy advantage of a high Altruist.

I will tell you, narcissists are some of the biggest offenders here.

Because a narcissist can not only recognize the altruist and the weaknesses that the altruist has, and what's the weakness?

Giving of complete self being a doormat to society. But not only can they recognize that, but they have a phenomenal way of drawing that person in through attention and love and appreciation.

And then flipping that around and really ripping that away and going after the altruist to draw them into more help and more, almost submissiveness. Let me just say submissiveness, right?

So the type of person who wants to take advantage of an Altruist is the person who cares way too much about themselves. Who does the Altruist care about? Who does a mature Altruist care about? Let me say it that way.

'cause immature Altruist can be very selfish and self-centered. The mature Altruist cares about others consistently all the time.

It was so funny, I had two of our team members were watching over some things for me at The Ridge, and I had to step away for a while. And I was coming back and I was a little, I knew I was gonna be a little bit late into the lunch hour.

And so I'm texting, saying, Hey, I'm on my way. I mean, I was like nine minutes late into the lunch hour, which they don't take it right at noon anyways. And texted when I got there, I was like, Hey, I'm here.

And it was so funny because Dakota, the gal texted me back. She goes, did you think we were doing something wrong? You never text us when you're here.

And I, I just started laughing like crazy. And I said, no, I'm a high S, I'm a high Altruist. I'm concerned about you because I'm making you late for lunch. And she just laughed like crazy and thought I was a dork.

But that's how I think. That's how I process. I care. I want to take care of people. I want to bless people. I want to benefit people. I wanna develop people.

The person who sees that and recognizes that they could use that to their own advantage is going to be the person who seeks you out and tries to draw out as much of that as possible.

That's what happened to me very much when I was younger. I had surrounded myself with people who I thought I was helping.

I was emptying myself into their lives to help them. And man, it was just devastating me when God taught me that that was my fault. I am the one who allowed the hurt.

I'm the one that allowed them to suggest things to me, right? That to, to use me, to take advantage of me, to tell me that if I wasn't helping them, that it, I was a bad person.

I am the one who allowed that. When you get to a place of recognizing what healthy boundaries are and how to put healthy boundaries in place, you can be a high Altruist, loving on people, taking care of people, developing people, removing hurt and pain from the world if possible, but not allowing them to devastate you.

So the biggest key of being a High Altruist after awareness is healthy boundaries. What does it look like to not allow somebody to just run right over you? What does it look like to not be a doormat to society?

How can you love on people, but be very aware of when they're shifting to take advantage of you? How can you notice the signs of what, what it looks like when somebody's gonna take advantage of you or somebody's gonna guilt and shame you, or somebody's gonna put you down?

What does it look like to recognize and what we say is, I like to say, watch it like a movie. Remove yourself from the situation and watch it like a movie. You know, when you're watching a movie, you know what's coming next.

You know what's happening. You can see it because you're not literally in the movie. So you can literally watch, this person's gonna do this next, this person's gonna do, this is gonna happen here.

Oh my gosh, the girl's out running in the woods. She's gonna trip and fall. The guy's gonna catch up.

Those are things that, you know, when you recognize that you have actually paid attention to people your entire life, you will start to recognize that you know where they're gonna go next.

You know what they're gonna do next. The problem is, is up until that point, you're emotionally handcuffed. You're emotionally handcuffed to what they're gonna say. Do how you're gonna respond to all of that.

So if you can step back and go, oh my gosh, what am I seeing right now? Okay, this person is becoming very defensive.

This person is becoming very attacky. Wow, this person just set my reality and told me how horrible I am for not doing something that I have nothing to do with.

When you start to see those things, then you can recognize, okay, it's time for healthy boundaries. I need to start putting those in place and start separating myself from the situation. You're most likely not gonna be able to help a heck of a lot more at that point.

Now, unless you've been doing it for a very long time, you probably need to put healthy boundaries in and back out of the situation. Do not receive the setting of your reality.

Do not receive how horrible you are and how terrible you are because you're not staying in there and, and solving stuff. Remove yourself from the situation.

Healthy boundaries. Recognize that you did what you could. You did what you could. Your job is not the, the the outcome, the the result.

Your job is to lead somebody toward the outcome and the result, but they have to choose to go that direction. So if the result or outcome doesn't happen from the development from helping them, whose fault is that?

Unfortunately, many times an Altruist blames themselves. You cannot be responsible for a choice that somebody else has to make.

And Next-Level Life and StratPlan, and our Next-Level Mastermind, one of the things we help people to see is we will give you as much perspective and help as we possibly can, but if you choose not to do it, we can't be responsible for your outcome.

If things still look the same 3, 6, 9 months from now, whose fault is that? It's yours. Because you have the information you just chose not to do it.

That's what you have to recognize as an Altruist.

Woo, goodness. Great questions. These are great questions. Lots of information. Don't know why we thought that I could get this done in one show. Just can't happen.

So here's what we're gonna do. I'm gonna do a part two to this. We've got five more great questions that we are gonna go through, and I love it, folks.

This is, this is something I love about Next-Level Leadership LIVE Event is the ability to ask questions, dig in, get information when people might not have that opportunity, right?

So if you have questions, if there are things you would like to get answers on or get input on [email protected], send it on over.

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Well, folks, that's all the time that we have for today. I hope this has been helpful. As always, take this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and join us on the next episode.