641 | The Role of Coaching in Leadership: Growing Teams Through Mentorship

Today, we are diving into one of the most powerful and transformational tools in leadership, and that is coaching.

And I'm joined by a special guest, a business leader who's been through our programs and used coaching to grow her team, her culture, and her capacity. All of this is coming up next.

Welcome to the Chris LoCurto Show, where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are.

Welcome to the show, folks. I hope you're having a fabulous day wherever you are. Today is a fabulous day for me, and I am totally fired up about today's episode because we are kicking off our Leadership Balance series with a focus on something I believe every great leader needs to master.

What is that? Coaching.

Introduction: Monique James (00:01:05)

And today I am joined by somebody who has been through our programs, Monique James from Alaska Auto Rental.

And she has got an incredible story of what happens when a leader stops doing everything themselves and starts multiplying others. So do me a favor and welcome Monique to the show.

Welcome, my friend. How are you? I'm great. I am wonderful and super excited to be here. I am so glad you're here. I want you to jump in and talk about Alaska Auto Rental, but you and I have known each other almost, what is it, nine years?

Seven, I think. Does it feel like nine for you? Well, I'm trying to think. Wasn't it the 2016 event or was it 19? It was 2019. Yeah. Actually. Yep. 2019 was my first one. Peter's. Was 2016 okay, then?

Yes. That does feel like it's been a lot longer than that. So it's been six years. Gosh, I don't know if that's good or bad. Well, I think we've spent a lot of time together, Obviously, as many of our clients, we have become great friends.

We have worked through a lot, talked through a lot, experienced a lot.

Monique's Experience with Coaching (00:02:20)

So what I'd love for you to share is your experience. It doesn't need to be a long explanation, but highlight your experience in 2019 in the back of the Next Level Leadership LIVE event.

Wow. So I was, for lack of better words, hooked from probably the first hour of that event. And really what it was, something you said.

You asked everyone in the room. How many people have employees that don't know what they're doing, that don't do their job, that don't follow directions, that are lazy, that don't want to show up and all of these things.

And of course, you know, three quarters of the room raised their hands. I probably had two hands in the air at that time and, and then you. Well, you've delivered the first of many gut punches and that was.

What do they all have in common? You. And I pretty much spent the rest of the event crying through the rest of it, passing Marshall a lot of notes, a lot of, of little blue sticky notes for sure, about, do I do that?

Is that me? Am I really doing that? I don't do that, do I? So it was a, it was oddly an extremely emotional event for me.

And it's basically where I learned like, I'm, I'm the problem, but I'm also the solution.

And, and I'm the one thing that, that I can control in all of that, which was while difficult to swallow for a long time, it's just such a freeing realization of that you have control in this.

You have control how you react, how you respond. You have control in the accountability and all of it.

So, yeah, that was my first experience. You made me cry for three days.

Well, you know, I'm good at that, apparently. We always say one of our guys, Brent Van Haren, has a saying when it comes to StratPlan, which you've been through, obviously, you know, if nobody cries, it wasn't good enough.

Which is just a funny tongue in cheek thing. And the amazing thing is it always has. Tends to have an emotional aspect somewhere in there.

So I was honored to be able to fly on up to Alaska, my wife and I, and spend time as you were getting married and got to be a part of that process which was so fantastic and I don't think I will ever forget.

So you used to run a restaurant with a bunch of young gals, which in Alaska there's a lot more gals, I think, right.

Per capita. And so your workforce was mostly women or, you know, young ladies. And I was so blessed to be. Be standing there during the wedding or not during the wedding, but during the wedding reception.

And three of the young gals came up and they're like, man, it's finally good to see you. And I was like, oh, hi. They're like, I listen to you all the time. I hear your voice in my car all the time.

So it's finally good to see your face. And I'm like, oh, oh. You listen to the show. And discovering. Which I discovered this before that, but knowing that you used to play the show all the time, I think in the kitchen. Is that correct?

Oh, yes, definitely. I had a lot of shows to catch up on from the time you started to 2019. So all these young ladies who were phenomenal and amazing to meet.

And, you know, I've said this many times before. I love helping people change their lives. It means the world to me when I can help young people change their lives, because they just get to think. They get to.

If they do it, they get to avoid so many of the stupid things that we do as adults. So I love that. That was fantastic. So shout out to the girls, Ladies.

Young ladies. What do you call them? They're young. They're. Some of them are married with babies now. Are they already? Wow. Yeah, some of them, but they're. They're great. So shout out to you ladies.

Monique's Path in Leading People (00:06:49)

All right, tell us about Alaska Auto Rental. You've been there for years. Tell us about, you know, a little bit about it. What made you realize you needed to change the way you were leading?

So I've been at Alaska auto rental about 3 and a half years now. When I first started there, everybody there was kind of on your program and listening to your podcast and had been to a Next-Level Life. All the leadership had been to at least a LIVE event.

And I think what I noticed is that the feeling that this is what we want, this is what we want to do, this is what we want our culture to be.

But not walking that out themselves before trying to force other people to comply with that was, I think, a really big one for me and a really huge smack in the face of, you can't preach these things without modeling them yourself first.

I never. I don't recall a time in my life where. Where I ever had a problem getting people to do what I wanted. But I. I think that the 2019 event was a big, huge realization of that. Doesn't mean I was leading them. Yeah.

So big difference between a leader and a dictator, right? Oh, yes, definitely. Definitely. Most people think if I tell people what to do, I'm leading them.

Yes, they do. And, I mean, it's a hard one to swallow when you have to look back and realize, yeah, I wasn't even leading myself, let alone other people.

So I think that Frostbite the restaurant was my first glimpse into trying to be a leader and not really knowing how to.

And then at Alaska Auto Rental, I had a bit more capacity to actually explore what that meant and learning to model the things that I wanted to see in other people before I expected them to do it was a really big one.

Absolutely. So, yeah, that's it, I think. So. A huge leadership shift that you've had, and it's one that every business owner is going to run up against it, whether or not they choose to do it or not.

Whether or not they realize it, that's. That could be something different as well as is is when you. When you make the shift, you realize that leadership isn't about having all the answers.

It's about building up people around you that. That think for themselves, that lead, that solve their own problems. What made you move from you solving problems to coaching your team through solving problems?

I think the biggest thing that made me move is I was failing my team and trying to solve all the problems. I couldn't keep up. I couldn't.

So seeing that I was failing them and seeing that also that they could impossibly trust me if I didn't show them that I trusted them.

Yeah. Which by doing it yourself really kind of screams. Even though you think. And just for people listening, we tend to convince ourselves that if we do this, we're doing what's right for everybody else. Right.

And what we do realize is what you did realize. If I'm not allowing them to be a part of the process, what am I? What does that tell them? I think about them.

Yeah, that was a tough one that 99D I have. I also have a 99 Altruist there and fluctuates. Definitely a battle there every day. But yeah, I think that was the biggest thing for me was. Was not.

Was seeing that I wasn't empowering them. I wasn't teaching them. They. I think at that time too, when I first started at Alaska Auto Rental, I was still kind of stuck in the needing to be needed mindset and yeah, what a terrible place to be.

Actually, I wouldn't have admitted it probably back then that that's where I was. But. But as I look back on it now, I absolutely know that. That my. My lack of teaching other people well and allowing them and empowering them to.

To take care of things and handle things was. Was me needing to be needed. So learning to let go of that was a big step in me being able to coach and empower my team and the.

The idea of empowering my team. And I think a lot about your story of. I think it was like paper of admin item that somebody asked you for and you were like, I have no idea where that is.

And hearing that story for the first time, I couldn't imagine looking at any one of my team members and saying, I have no idea. But the amount of times I do it daily now is insane.

I don't actually know how to find that problem or that solution to that problem. But I'll bet you this person knows, because that's what I pay them for. So go ask them.

Exactly. Yeah. I think the biggest win in that or the biggest joy is really seeing the team. First of all, the amount of time that I have now to spend with my leaders is pretty wonderful, actually.

Well, depending on the day and what they're going through, it's wonderful. Or not so wonderful. But, um. But the amount of time that I have now is amazing.

The amount of time that I have to think through bigger issues is amazing. And honestly, seeing my team excited about the things that they accomplish because they're allowed to now is probably the best.

It's funny because, you know, knowing you for 14 years, like I have, in a few minutes it'll be 20 years knowing you as long as I have.

And knowing that D and that Altruist, you know, watching that vacillation between that drive piece and then that, oh, my gosh, I got to take care of everybody. I mean, it is.

I don't know if I've ever known somebody with that high of a D and that high of an altruist. And it is amazing to have seen the swing from 2019 to who you are now. Right. That the impl---

I think the biggest thing is that you didn't just hear stuff. You didn't just hear the lessons you implemented like a maniac. And then the shift from the, you know, you're still a high D.

It doesn't change that. It changes the maturity of that, how much you understand yourself and how much you understand the importance of communication and leading and coaching and all these different pieces.

But I believe this is my opinion, that I've watched the altruism override the previous D responses.

Does that make sense? It definitely makes sense. It does. I think the D responses are always there first. I don't think they ever go away.

Matter of fact, you're the one that told me they're never going to go away. But I am able to step back from them.

Not basically not react in them immediately and say, okay, but. But what's the end goal here for the person standing in front of me?

What. What do we want? Where do we need to get and. And generally, most of the time, be able to make my decisions through that lens instead of. Instead of pushing. I mean, my go to previous to you was.

And I mean, for a few years after you too, was to just run over people because that was the way to get them to do what I wanted or needed them to do.

So, yeah, that shift has been been pretty significant. And I think the more I see the people that I lead growing and then leading other people, the, the easier it makes it for me to, to act in my altruist and not just in my immaturity.

Yeah. It's interesting because I've been doing this for decades and it is not uncommon for somebody who's a 99D who doesn't have the Altruist that as they learn and they grow in this stuff, it almost, sometimes it becomes, the frustration is, dang it.

So I've gotta, I gotta wait this out and I've gotta, you know, I've gotta, I've gotta lean in their direction. I can't just tell them to go do this thing. It's like, well, you can if you want to, but, you know, here's what you're going to experience.

And then as they battle through that themselves, what I've heard over and over again, when they can, when they choose to battle through.

Let me just say that what I've heard over and over again is people saying, my gosh, why didn't I do this years ago? Oh, that is so true.

And I mean that impatience is still there. Let's not be fooled. It's still there. I still think, wait, I have to wait on this. I have to, I have to gently guide this person here.

Why do I have to have a battle in my own head? Why can't I just battle with this person?

Yeah, exactly. But the payout is definitely much more rewarding.

So one of the most exciting things for me, and the thing, I tell people this all the time, you got to understand that there's going to be a point where your team starts to have buy in because of how you're leading them.

You know, previous to that, you've got, you know, folks that are like, well, I'm waiting for Monique to tell me what to do, you know, or, well, she says to do it this way, so just go do it.

Don't think for yourself. You know, if a problem comes up, well, I've got a problem, I need Monique to solve it. And you kind of become that, that bottleneck obviously, in the team and everything.

When you lead this way, you get that team buy in and it really starts to show more ownership.

Let me say caveat is for the people who are wanting to grow, you're going to see way more ownership, you're going to see way more accountability, a ton better decision making because you're allowing them to think for themselves.

So what kind of, what shifted in your team when you started asking more questions and directing less is exactly what you said. More ownership. There's so much more ownership there.

And when I think the biggest ownership comes in their. In the failures in. And then in us walking through those failures and them knowing this is okay. It's okay to fail. It's okay to live in that for a second.

Feel it like it should hurt. Depending on the level of fail, it should hurt. Stay in it. Are you done? Let's move on and solve it now.

I want you to feel it because I don't want to be here again, and I want you to not want to be here again, but I also want to solve it. Like, I don't want you to stay there. You're not getting beat up for it.

This is moving forward. So I. I don't even know if I answered your question.

No, totally. Yeah.

Because, like, really what's going through my head is a big shift.

I believe in your team, and again, I've known you since before Alaska Rental, but I think a big shift that I've personally seen in your team is that when you started leading them, there were a good number of folks that were afraid to step up, that were afraid to take risks.

And I think that's changed considerably. And I think that's one. You treated them with dignity, right? You loved on them. You. You trusted them. You showed them that you trusted them.

You gave them the opportunities to grow. So I feel like that's been a big swing.

The Big Shift's Impact in Her Team (00:19:46)

You tell me, how is it, like, how has it impacted how your team is engaged?

The decision making processes, the solving problems, all that kind of stuff, man, the, the conversations that I have with my team now and the questions that they ask me because of the problems that they're facing, I don't know a large amount of the problems at the lower level anymore.

What I get is a brief like, hey, this happened. This is how we solved it, you know, and we'll walk through, oh, that was a great one. Or hey, did we think about these things?

Should we implement these things and. And whatnot? So the conversations that I get to have with my team right now is they're so amazing at. They know that even. Even when I'm frustrated. And while I do my best to not show that to them.

I'm a high D. It comes through pretty often. They know that I have their best interests at heart, and that's where their trust for me comes in.

That took a long time to build with the team and every new person that comes on now. I think that what I'm noticing is that as the core team lives out what we want our culture to be, it's so much easier now to get new people involved in that.

This is a way of life. It's no longer something that we're just talking about and maybe doing here and there.

Or. Yeah, we hold each other accountable when it's convenient to do so. This is the way we live every day. And so it makes it so much easier to bring new people onto that.

Or it shows very clearly which new people are not going. Going. Are not ready for that. Oh, yeah, definitely. It definitely helps you to remove people from the. The list of potential hires or if they do make it in, it reveals that quickly.

It. It's one of those things. Maybe you can speak to this, because sometimes for me and my team, it's difficult to remember way back when, what it was. Like, we can get there, but it's hard for us to remember.

Like, we have to scour through our own, this business and go, did we experience that? Because, again, this is something that I've been teaching for so, so long, and it's been a part of my leadership for at least a couple decades, that it's.

When other people see it, they have a hard time envisioning that they could bridge that gap themselves, that they could get themselves to that place like what you just described. Like what?

So just. I'm even trying to figure out what I want to. What you want you to answer. When you look back to leading seven years ago, would you have ever thought that you would have a team operating the way that you have now?

Oh, my God, no. I was such a colossal victim then. There is no way I ever thought that. Well, in seven years ago, Monique's mind, that anybody could live up to the expectations that I had. Oh, gosh. Yeah.

So, no, there's no way that I thought seven years ago I would ever be leading the team that I do. And the team that I have now continues to amaze me daily.

I think the thing that amazes me the most about them is when they step in to hold me accountable to things, and there's that high D in me that's like, wait, don't tell me what to do.

And the other one, that's like, wow, that's awesome. That's great. So, Right. I'm. Somebody's telling me that I am not okay in what's happening right now. So, yeah, no, I never thought I'd be leading a team like this or that.

I mean, I would guess seven years ago, Monique probably never even thought it was possible. Yeah, you've done a good job of just explaining what so many people are thinking right now.

You know, what their brain is like. I can't get these people there. I'm just going to have to do it myself. I have these high expectations.

Nobody's ever going to meet them. And then when you, when you do the stuff we teach you get to and you actually implement it, that's the big key.

You know, people have asked me, you know, who's your worst client? Which is an interesting thing. In the, the decades I've been doing this, I've had multiple people ask me, who's your worst client?

Which just stuns me. I don't know why that comes to somebody's mind, but my answer has always been the same. It's the client that doesn't implement. Right.

Because they're missing out. If the person's not implementing the things that they're learning, then they don't understand how much they're affecting themselves.

And so that's one of the great things that you've done, is you've taken this stuff, implemented the crap out of it, and then realized how much you could change, which I think is just, just profound.

Key Questions to Ask (00:25:20)

So what is, like, do you have any, like, go to questions or, or go to phrases that you use with your team?

They're all yours. Help me to under--

Help me to understand why you did that, to understand what you were thinking.

Oh, my gosh. The best phrase right there. Oh, I use it all the time. I ask my team a lot where they're at. I think it's really important to understand where your team is at.

In the summertime, we have bi weekly team meetings. It's an hour long team lunch where the entire team, from the newest hire to me, get together and we talk about problems facing us and how to solve them or what we're going through.

And, you know, we go through different things, all centering around culture and our mission. But right now, just this week, just yesterday, was our team lunch and I was on a trip back from Anchorage and I ran across some foam Frisbees, basically.

And I was like, oh, I bet we would love to throw these at each other.

So I grabbed a bunch of them and instead of, you know, the usual, let's drill into this problem or let's come up with solutions for this or whatever, we cleared out the detail bay and we went in there and we played dodgeball.

Yeah, as my team would tell you with Monique's rules, but we, we Played dodgeball. We just threw things at each other for about half an hour, and it was a blast. We had. We had a great time because. Because that's where my team is right now.

We're in the throes of crazy busy, and I. I want them to learn to find the joy in what they're doing, because the busy doesn't go away.

Like, the stress and all of that. It doesn't go away. But how do you live fully and enjoy what you're doing even in the middle of the chaos and stress? Yeah.

Gosh, that's so good. I need a detail bay now so we can throw balls at each other.

It is very handy.

No doubt, no doubt. One of the things I think a lot of people, a lot of leaders hit, and I would love to say it's an eventual long.

Oh, you know, long time away, but I think people are hitting this all the time early on in their leadership career. And that's. You kind of hit the ceiling. And it's not. It's not a ceiling of, hey, the business can't grow.

It's the ceiling that you're carrying way too much as a leader. And if you're coaching well, then that kind of breaks through that ceiling, and especially if you're working on creating other leaders as well.

What kind of ceiling moments do you think that you have had or experienced that led you to shift how you lead? A ceiling moment. Not too long ago, you actually walked me through that.

My team, currently at the rate that they are growing, will outgrow me soon if I don't continue to grow myself. And I think that's an amazing thing, to be honest.

It pushes me to continue to grow myself, but also look at what they get to go out and pass on to others in their world outside the business.

Yeah, exactly. And I see that. I see that in their families. I see that in their friends, and I think that's just amazing. But I hit feeling moments where I'm like, what am I doing?

Why am I doing this? I think often, like, I can't go any further than this. This is all I can do. And I generally pray at that point because there's not really much else I'm going to tell myself that is going to be helpful.

So I look for outside perspective from God.

Good place. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, there's always something revealed when. When I. When I step back and say, okay, where do we go from here that we need to work on or dig into?

And then have to educate myself on that. So that I can help my team grow through it as well. Yeah.

Carrying Heavy Loads (00:29:52)

So you would say that you're a recovering heavy load carrier.

I think I'm. I still manage to get myself thrown back into that every once in a while. But. But yeah, I think that I have found that, that the more I empower my team, the more they're able to help me carry that load and the more they want to.

I, you know, I, I love being where I am right now. You know, I'm 55. I turned 55 this year.

And the amazing thing for me, I have always been somebody who carries a heavy load, even though I'm still the guy who trains up like crazy. I mean, we have a teaching environment, we have phenomenal leaders.

I've trained them like crazy, but I've also been somebody who's been like, but I'm still going to go after stuff. I'm still going to, you know, make things happen.

And over the last handful of years and, you know, I've, you know, Heather and I have been through some crazy, stressful outside crap and stuff that's happened.

My mom with Alzheimer's, just all kinds of stuff has made it very difficult. And it was great that it helped me to realize I wasn't heavy lifting as much as I thought I was.

You know, years ago, you would hear me say, you know, I, I go to my team and go, hey, guys, we should think about this. And like, yeah, we, we've been working on that for three weeks now.

Right. It's just like, oh, great, fantastic. You know, but I could focus on bigger things and focus on what else could I do to grow the business and, you know, make things better for the clients and all that kind of stuff.

But I got to a point where just going through stressful stuff and just feeling like, you know, God was just pruning us through this process and growing us to be better people through walking through crappy situations that I realized I don't want a heavy lift anymore.

I want to do a lot. I want to continue to do amazing things, but I don't want anything on me that is. Requires heavy lifting. Right.

And I know that may sound vague to everybody out there, but when you get a little bit older, you're going to understand what I'm talking about.

I don't want to be the one who's responsible for making big things happen. Right. What is amazing is that we have trained up a team for years that has been doing the heavy lifting anyway.

We have phenomenal team members who want to do heavy lifting. Who want to do more, who want to run in specific directions, who bring things up and it's like, can we make this happen?

And I think that was just one of those fantastic things of. I knew that before going into some of the heavy, stressful stuff, but it was fantastic while I was in it to go, oh my gosh, everything is covered, everything is taken care of.

I don't have to heavy lift anything. You know, I could focus on taking care of the things that I've got to take care of here, which my mom. That was a very intense process and I don't have to heavy lift anything.

The funny thing is what I'd come to realize is the things that I was heavy lifting were all my choices, right? There are things that I wanted to do and the team is heavy lifting all the things that need to be done for the business.

And I'm like, okay, let's, you know, I'm going to go work on this thing and get this thing moving so we can help more people. And I got to a point of like, oop, I need to back away.

I think that has been one of the most phenomenal things is being able to enjoy the team just going ballistic on stuff and making things happen.

The Evolution of Monique's Role With Coaching (00:34:04)

So what are some things that as you look at your team and how you've built up leaders for years, how has that affected your role?

How has your role evolved?

My role has evolved so much more in the last year. So very short time frame. There is so much more coaching and time spent with my upper level leaders now than I ever thought thought imaginable.

And part of it was due to us bringing on a business development director that deals with the paperwork and the contracts and all of those things that Monique does not want to deal with at all, not even a little bit.

So that freed me up as well as just taking that step to make the time to spend with my team has paid off in dividends in their growth.

So, you know, Chris, I've been away from the business for the last three weeks. I was on vacation for a week and then the last week and a half I've been down south dealing with things down there and taking care of some things down there.

So I was away from our home office and my first day back was yesterday. And as we were walking outside to go to the detail bay for our meeting, I asked about a car that was sitting in the shop line that needed an oil change.

And I said, hey, that needs to be done. And before I got the words out, my shop manager said, lovingly he said, hey, I got it.

I've been taking care of things while you're gone. And it was a very kind reminder of you don't need to be involved in those things.

So the building hasn't burnt down. Exactly. So nice to hear that. It was amazing to hear that, to be honest with you. It was a little. There was a little shame involved for me. Like, yeah, Monique, like, when was the last time you were worried about that?

Why are you worried about it now? You know, it's so funny. I think you, you, when you're gone, that. Tell me if you agree with this. I think when you're gone that long, for a lot of folks, they come back going, what isn't operating correctly?

What do I have to, you know, I need. I need to find something going wrong because surely something is falling apart, which in your situation, it wasn't.

You're accurate. I do that often. I very much do that often. And in that, I think what sucks with that mindset is then I forget to celebrate their wins and all the amazing things that they did well while I was gone.

Again, while I have a team of high S's and C's. Oh, yeah, it's a huge gut punch. I have a team full of high S's and C's.

And we work a lot on being candid with each other and being clear in what we mean and not suggesting or dancing around what we mean.

So. So in that training, they get to put that to use on me with like, hey, mind your own business. I got it.

Love it. I love it. We went 2018, I believe it was. I think she's like seven years now. We went to Israel.

It was me, Joel, Heather, and another team member, Deb. We all went over on this phenomenal Bible study tour and we were gone for two weeks.

I mean, three of the top leaders in the business were gone. And I think I handled one email, I think Heather handled one email, and I think Joel handled two in two weeks time. And we came back and, you know, we were.

We're just like, everything's good. We. We weren't surprised. The team did a phenomenal job. They handled stuff. There was no fires. We all had a ton of emails that we had to go through because we'd been gone a while, but not a single fire.

And I remember telling clients, I remember being on calls with some of our clients going, how many fires do you have to put out?

Like, none. Like, what are you talking about? I'm like, none. The team did what they are supposed to do and how stunning it was to multiple people to go.

So you didn't have problems? No, we didn't come back to any problems because we do this stuff, you know, we teach it. And when you do it, when you coach your team well, it's tough. It's not easy. It's. It takes a incredible amount of practice.

You got it. It's a constant thing. But when you do it, they do it. They do what they're supposed to. They have ownership. They, you know, nobody was reaching out, going, oh my gosh, the place is on fire.

We didn't have to solve anything. And so that's just so powerful to be able to come back and see a team that is like, we got this. You don't have to jump in, you don't have to fix anything.

Which, again, that's such a difficult thing to do. What kind of, you know, early on challenges, as you're coaching people and, you know, trying to resist jumping in or trying to resist fixing things, what are some of those challenges that you faced?

I still have that challenge every once in a while. I have an assistant who is very quick to remind me that I don't have to answer the question that I just asked my team.

Hey, can you let them answer, please? So I still have that challenge a lot because my brain works in solutions and it works fast in solutions.

So being able to force myself to step back and a realize that just because I already have a solution before somebody spit out a word doesn't mean it's the correct solution, doesn't mean it's the one we should go with.

And I'm not helping my team to think through their problems when I do that.

Marshall's One, Three, One Tactic (00:40:36)

This came from Marshall back when he was running the construction team, but he started doing what they called a one three one with his team, where it's one problem, three solutions, which one you would pick and why.

And so I implemented that with my team as well, quite a while ago. And it's phenomenal in forcing your team to think through their problems. They don't get to bring me a problem unless they come with solutions as well.

Not just solutions, but which one they would pick and why they would pick it to force them to think through. Is this right? Is this correct?

And while we sometimes forget to do that and we'll do two solutions instead of three, the idea that they're thinking through what needs to happen and thinking at a higher level than just their immediate department and role is.

I mean, it just helps them to understand the business as a whole and to understand how what they do affects every other part of things.

You said something, and as you said it, I'm like, I wonder if people are missing what she just said. The battle that we all experience is this:

I can solve this faster if I just solve it taking the time. (00:41:56)

And you know, I'm always saying, if you have time to coach, coach right now, a couple times a year maybe, I'm like, hey, guys, I don't have time to, to teach on this or, you know, dig in for perspective.

I need you to go do this thing right. I don't even know if that happens a couple times a year anymore. I don't even know if that happens anymore.

It used to be like twice a year that there'd be a couple times. But we have such a. A teaching environment that teaching is always the thing that comes first in our minds. Now it's just DNA where it's like, well, how could you do that?

How could you fix that? What would your solution be? You know, what, what kind of solutions do you have? And it's always that process.

But what you mentioned is so common. How fast are we to think? I don't have time, I can't.

And if you don't recognize it, you find yourself in this crazy rat wheel of I don't have time, I'm going to solve it myself, which puts more work on me, but I don't have time, so I've got to solve it, which puts more work on me.

Instead of going, if I will find and force the time to just coach anybody, you know, whoever, who the person, the team, whatever's in front of me on this situation, then eventually they get to solve this stuff on their own.

Like, I know that that's what you've experienced is that if you don't answer and you work with them on it, that it changes how much you do have to put into solving problems with the team.

Right. Like how. How is that? Do you feel like you've stayed consistent with that and how's it changed the. The team's response? I think the consistency with that from me is, is actually pretty new, to be honest with, with this team.

And how it changes their responses. They know what the my expectations are and in order to keep that consistent, I have to continue with those expectations regardless of how much I want to answer the question.

And I mean, what it does for them is just helps them grow in so many different ways other than just, here's the problem, here's the solution.

But like, okay, here's the problem, here's multiple solutions. Here's all the people that this affects or all different processes that this affects.

They're learning now more about the business as a whole or more about their effect on other team members or other areas than just, okay, here's the problem, here's the solution.

Go, go do it. You know, we, we have team members that, that are there to just go and do, but, but the team, the, the leaders that are leading them, they're not there to just do, but all they know how to do is do if, if we don't teach them differently. Right.

So I think, yeah, this becomes my favorite part of coaching, which is what you just essentially explained when you take the time, when you force the time.

Right. Obviously, if you've got something that's going to fall apart, if you've got an something that's so urgent, solve the problem. If the ox is in the ditch, get the ox out of the ditch, get going, make it happen.

But every opportunity that you have to coach somebody so that they can think for themselves, so that they can learn how to start solving or coming up with solutions.

I mean, I know you've experienced this as you've started to get people to ask, you know, you ask them for solutions and they come back, I don't have any solutions.

How about you spend 10 minutes, just give me 10 minutes to just go think about it, to come up with something, you know, that their brain is so conditioned to. Well, but I don't get to think for solutions.

You're the one who has to solve all this. You know, you've trained me that I come to you for solution. Right.

When you change that and turn that around, that's when it becomes the funnest thing for a leader, is that you're creating a team that doesn't just execute on stuff, but because they know how to solve problems, because they know how to get to greater perspective, they own the mission.

They own what we're trying to accomplish. Right.

You've experienced that with this team, I'm assuming. I definitely have experienced it with this team. Definitely.

A Team That Owns It (00:46:47)

Oftentimes my team will come to me with solutions and when they explain to me which one they want to choose and why, there's so many times now that their explanation includes this is how it aligns with our mission and that you're gonna.

I'm gonna start crying in a minute because that is so phenomenal.

And quite frankly, I don't, I don't care what the mission is.

It is getting an entire group of people behind the same thing and working together to accomplish that same thing that is so powerful and to be able to step back as to, well, to get over myself enough to be able to know that I don't have to be the one making the actual things happen.

And when I don't have to be, that I can step back and watch this team that before was a bunch of individual people that, that just wanted answers handed to them because that's the way I train them to now, like, hey, I want your guidance.

I want your perspective on this, but you taught me how to deal with this, and I'm going to go deal with it. That's. Yeah, that's amazing. It's. It's amazing place to be.

So I'll back, I'll go back to something that you mentioned that I mentioned where I had a very young, great gal on the team, Heidi, great gal, fun everything, who would come to me and ask because I don't have, I haven't had an office in, shoot, I don't know, 13 years, 12 years, something like that.

I haven't had. I, I sit at the open table in the event space, or I sit and, you know, wherever it is, I just don't, I don't care to have an office. Right.

And so she would always come in and she would ask me the question, hey, do you know where the, the printer paper is? And I'm like, no, I don't, but I know your leader does, so ask them.

Or, or, you know, ask Catherine out there. I'm sure she will know. And we did this about three times over, probably about three or four days.

And the last time she came in, I said, hey, I, I know you're. You would think that because I own the business, I would know these questions you're asking.

She asked me something about what was on, you know, the, the Dropbox drive or something like that.

And I'm. And I said, but here's the thing. I need you to know if I have to know all of those things, then I can't do the things that I need to do that pays your paycheck.

It's important that I don't know those things, that there are people who I pay to know that stuff. And it just was like this huge light bulb in her head of like, oh, well, of course.

That totally makes sense. I think that's at this part in our conversation. That's where we've come back around to. Right. This place where, you know.

And so I'd love to hear how it's adjusted you and how it's changed you, but this place where you've spent so much and for all the leaders out there that are going, I'm not sure what these guys are talking about is enough.

You know, I think I have to keep driving everything home and hammering everything home and all this kind of stuff.

Let me go that direction. What would you say to that person now that you're experiencing this and you've gone from. You've been on both sides of this?

What would you say to that person who's just like, I'm just not sure coaching is enough. I'm not sure it's enough for me to grow me into a coach.

You know, getting coaching from somebody to grow me in this direction. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to do this and get my team where they need to be.

What would you say to that person? On true high D fashion? Stop lying to yourself. There's that. There's that part. Okay. I have been there.

I have been that person that doesn't believe any of this is possible and that person that doesn't believe I have the time to invest in other people and that I'm the only one that can do things right or I'm the only one that cares and on and on and on.

I'm the only one that can make proper decisions. All of those ridiculous things that we tell ourselves. And it was really an interesting experience for me to go from owning and running a business to working in and running a business for somebody else.

But the problems are still the same. I still carried the same problems from the owning part to the running part. And, and all of those are, are just, honestly, they're lies that we tell ourselves that allow us to stay where we are.

Because that's easier. Yeah. Or it appears easier. I think now the, the amount of time and mental capacity that I have and the joy that investing in the next generation of people that are going to be running this business, the, the joy that, that I am able to find in that.

Like, I mean, we can be honest. I'm. I'm not passionate about renting cars by, by any means.

We're just renting cars. But to be passionate about what you're doing, where you're at right now is such a valuable life lesson as a whole, to allow you to be happy where, where you are, where God has you.

So the amount of time that I've spent investing in my other. In my team has, has paid off. It's immeasurable how much it has paid off both in the business as well as for me personally.

Yeah, gosh, I'm just processing how much, you know, I made the comment about it's been great watching your altruism really take center stage.

And again, as you, as you're talking through this, that's all that I can think about is like, I'm literally, as you're talking through that, I'm thinking about those young ladies that I got to meet at the wedding and thinking about where they are now because, you know, yeah, maybe you did stuff up in the early days, but you changed and had a huge impact on their lives and how they think about things and what they're going after.

And, you know, we all grow. So you shifted to another business and you've grown more and grown more and grown more.

And it's like what runs through my mind is, is, you know, how much would you like that one shot to go back for a short, short period of time with the people you led years ago and go, can I have a redo for just 30 days?

And you did a great job with these amazing young ladies. They're incredible, right? But still, it's like. But even then I didn't know what I know now.

And five years from now, I'm gonna know so much more, and I will have practiced so much more so that, that I, I love just that thought of your altruism coming out.

And I still, every one of those young ladies is still in my life in big ways. One of them still works for me.

She's been working for me since she was 14, and I just watched her walk through one of the most difficult things that anybody would have to do as a leader.

And it was holding healthy boundaries and releasing a family member from her team that she could no longer allow to be toxic on her team. And I got to stay in the background and watch her do that. By her choice.

She wanted to do it. I asked her. And just seeing the strength in that and knowing that this young girl, not only. Only is she like breaking crazy, toxic cycles, but what she's learning now, where she's at right now.

Imagine when she's twice her age, what she is going to be able to do and, and again, spread out into the world is crazy. And I think those are probably the things that get me through all of the, all of the stressors and, and the chaos and whatnot is I'm---

I might not get to see the fruit, but I mean, God never tells us that we get to see the fruit. We. We're just here to plant and.

Yeah, yeah. So good. So powerful.

All right, one last question. Gosh, I've been asking this question for probably about 16, 17 years.

If you could say one thing.

If you could go back and talk to your younger self, what would you say to that person? (00:56:22)

Just one. Just one thing, man. I think, like, control.

Yeah. Big, big, big, big. Yep. It's a world of difference when you do.

Right. It's insane.

The amount of difference in personally and professionally when you learn to release the things that you can't control and learn to release the desire to control all of the things.

Yeah. I think when people finally get the. The understanding that control's an illusion you can control you, that's it.

Then all of a sudden, the freedom of, oh, I don't. Not only can I not control somebody else, but I don't need to. And so let me speak to all of my high S's and high C's out there.

Accountability is one of the best, biggest keys of letting go of control. Because when you can use accountability well, you don't have to worry about being out of control because the accountability does the job.

Conclusion (00:57:49)

So good stuff, my friend. This was fun. Super powerful. I have 17 more questions in my head, but I'm like, we have gone an hour, so. So thank you so much for joining me.

Thanks for having me. I loved it. I loved it. I know. We will talk soon.

Well, folks, such a great, powerful conversation. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for, you know, taking this time, Monique, to open up as a leader and share this journey and be vulnerable in this process.

That means the world, obviously, to me. But for so many folks that are listening to this going, I can relate or I want to relate. I want to be where she is. I want to get to that place.

Action Steps (00:58:35)

So, folks, I've got some action steps for you. Here's what I want you to do. Four things. One, pick one person. This just one. One person this week to practice coaching.

Don't solve. Just ask questions. And even if you have the answer, like Monique was talking about, don't give the answer.

Keep asking perspective, gathering questions and try and get them there.

Number two, use three coaching questions.

What do you think is the real issue? What options have you considered and what's your next step?

Just use those three questions and you will be amazed at the answers that you will get.

Number three, do yourself a favor and reflect. Where are you being a manager when you could be a coach? I will tell you, life gets so much better when you don't have to manage people and number four, observe growth.

Track how your team members decision making improves over the next 30 days. And again, like Monique pointed out, celebrate. You've got to find the time to celebrate. Celebrate their wins.

If you are doing a great job leading your team and they're covering everything and you're able to take off and go on vacation and do whatever and come back and there aren't any fires, make sure that you're pointing that out.

Make sure that you celebrate that they've done a good job.

Additional Resources (01:00:07)

So here's some additional resources for you. Episode 578 The Mentorship Advantage: Why Every Small Business Leader should have a Mentor.

So whether it's a new concept to you or something you've considered before, you'll hear firsthand why mentorship can be the catalyst you need to take your business to the next level.

So leadership that's rooted in coaching changes everything. It builds stronger teams. It frees up your time. It transforms your culture from dependent on you to driven by the team.

And man, that is a happy day. So if you're listening today and you're thinking, I need that, whether it's structure, support, or a clear path to grow your team, reach out to us. You don't have to figure it out alone.

Coaching might be the very thing that helps you unlock what's next in your business. Now, next week we're going to dive into what it looks like when there's too little leadership, talking through communication, problem solving, guidance, all that stuff.

So you're not going to want to miss that. So until next time, thanks again to our phenomenal guest and all of the great insight that she has given us.

As for you, I want you to lead boldly. I want you to keep growing. I want you to take all this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and join us on the next episode.