663 | Selling Isn’t About Talking — It’s About Caring

If you think selling is about pitching, you're doing it wrong. Sales done well is about truly caring. Because when people feel understood, they lean in. Empathy earns loyalty and opens the door to real results.

Today we talk about how to get those results by actually caring and serving your customers right. That is coming up next.

Welcome to the Chris LoCurto Show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are.

Welcome to the show, folks. I hope you're having a fabulous day wherever you are. If you're tired of the pressure filled talk heavy version of sales, then you're definitely not the only one.

Many leaders and many team members struggle to connect because they focus on presenting instead of caring.

And in today's episode, we'll show you how empathy, how listening, how servant hearted leadership creates sales conversions that also build trust and loyalty and deliver better results.

It's not just a one time sale. It's actually something that helps you as you continue to work with your clients and grow your client base.

So one of our coaching clients recently shared how their newest sales rep absolutely turned things around.

Not by pitching harder, which tends to be the way that everybody goes, right? Just, you just gotta sell it harder. You just gotta sell it with more passion.

But instead, because they were coached to, they did it by listening better. And in just two weeks, that specific rep outsold the rest of the team by focusing on understanding each client's pain.

Now I couldn't help but smile because this is exactly what we teach in our Persuasive-Servant Selling training, which is, which is to really care. Because real care drives real sales. It is vital, it is so important we change the way we help people think about sales.

Most people think sales is about a presentation. And I'm gonna tell you today as we go through this process, it's absolutely not, it's part of it, but believe it or not, it's way less of an impact on your sale than you think it is.

So here's what we're diving into today. First thing is why empathy is the missing ingredient in most sales approaches. And I know empathy is a word that gets thrown, it's a buzzword right now, but when you understand what it truly means, then this makes a ton of sense.

Second thing is the key behaviors that turn conversations into conversions, it's a must. It's something that every person on your team, even if they're not in sales but needs to understand because everybody's in sales some way shape or form, everybody is in sales.

They just don't know it. Another thing is the biggest mindset shift leaders must make to support servant selling as well as a real world story of a rep who sold more by talking less and listening more.

Stop Pitching. Start Listening. (00:03:29)

So first thing that we have to understand as we dive into this is that you need to stop pitching. Stop pitching and start listening. Here's the first place that so many leaders and salespeople get stuck when it comes to sales.

So if you've ever trained a team member to present, you know, features, to present benefits before truly listening, then you've probably seen prospects tune out. Why do we do that?

Well, it's because that's what we've been trained to do before. You know, the person before you, the person you learned from. Or maybe you never really got any great sales training and it just makes sense.

I just need to sell the person on this thing. I just need to present this thing, this process, this product, this whatever. And unfortunately, what you end up doing is trying to convince somebody to give you money for the presentation that you're giving.

What you need to change, number one, is you have to start listening. You have to listen to the person who has the money. It's a smart thing to do, if you will start listening to them.

First off, listening communicates respect, right? The more that I feel respected by the person that I may give my money to, then the more I'm gonna build trust with them. And it's gonna build trust a heck of a lot faster than any script.

There's no script. It's so funny to me, you know, doing what we do for a living. And I've been doing this for a very long time.

I can't tell you how many times I might be on a phone call or something and I hear somebody start with a script and I just want to say, hey. And I actually have done this once or twice. I know you're following a script.

Do yourself a favor, here's what I'm looking. I'm going to give you the information that I'm looking for and it's going to make your sell a heck of a lot easier if you just do this, this, this, right?

Because it drives me nuts that I'm now sitting on a call. And especially if I'm already a very warm lead. I know what I want. I know that I want to give money for this thing.

The last thing I want is a script. Just stop. Scripts aren't going to sell me. They're just not right. Because I know that you're just reading something that somebody put together.

And if that person who put that script together actually understood, then they wouldn't be just giving you a script to hit, right? I'm not saying scripts are bad. Scripts are fantastic. Having the right script in the right situation is a fantastic thing.

What I'm saying is, is when you start off by hitting me with a script, then I know that you don't have any other sales training. I know that you're not going to be listening to me.

I know that you're not. You probably have some objections that you're going to try and overcome. There's certain simple things that you're going to do, which means that we're going to have zero relationship.

You're not going to listen to me, you're not going to care about me. So instead, what I want you to teach your salespeople is to listen. Ask more questions than you answer.

Use thoughtful questions to uncover the real needs that I actually have.

The more time that you will spend asking questions, the more I will feel like you actually care that you are trying to figure out what I need, what I'm trying to accomplish, what I'm trying to do.

So understand people don't buy from the loudest voice, that buy from the one that truly hears and connects with them.

Empathy is a Sales Advantage (00:07:10)

Second thing, and again, I know that this is a big buzzword because people are just using it now, maybe without truly understanding what's behind it. But empathy in sales is an advantage.

Empathy, if you have empathy, it's a sales advantage to you. So let's talk about why. Empathy isn't soft, it's strategic.

Now, if you've ever had a client say something like, I feel like you understand me, or I feel like you're hearing me, then you've already experienced the power of empathy.

What is empathy? In its most basic form, it's putting yourself in the shoes of the other person, understanding where they're coming from, what they're experiencing.

It's knowing why, how, what they're doing in the moment, what is their experience?

Right? It's if I was this person, what am I feeling? If I was this person, what am I looking for? If I was this person, what pains do I have right now?

The more that you are operating empathetically, wanting. And let me give you a word that I want you for all your sales people, two words. Be curious.

Be curious. Care about what somebody's experiencing. Care about what somebody is going through.

Care about what somebody desires, wants, doesn't want. The more that you do that, you will be blown away at how much it lowers the defenses of the other person, it will increase your connection with them in a heartbeat.

That's what moves conversations forward. The more that you actually care about me, and I feel that and I experience that, you know, you're asking me good, quality questions. You seem very curious.

You want to know more about me, about my situation, man, the sooner I experience that with you, the sooner I'm going to move in your direction, right?

It's the person who's just, you know, like I say, just reading that script, that person that is like stiff as a board. I've got to say these things and I've got to do these things. And then hopefully that convinces you to give me your money.

That's the person I'm going to back away from incredibly quickly.

But the person who actually is like, so what do you... What do you...What are you looking for?

Why are you here? Why'd you... Why'd you seek out us?

And obviously you don't want to ask questions this directly, but in a roundabout way, I want to understand why somebody is seeking us. I want to be understood why I'm seeking somebody else as well.

Why am I looking into this product? Why am I looking into this service? The sooner you do that, the more I will feel like you care about my emotional needs as well.

If you take into consideration my situation, then that tells me something, that you're caring more about me than just selling me a product.

So teach your team to identify what are those emotional needs? Don't just teach them, you know, technical problems and technical selling.

Because every sale has some level of emotion behind it, right? And so if you can understand that, like if I'm buying a car, which hate that process, I've never enjoyed that process ever.

I'm also an 88S. So one of the things I hate in life is regret. I hate making a decision on something that I didn't research it well enough. I didn't get enough information on it. I didn't, you know, I went out and I did.

I pulled the trigger. But then come to find out, oh, crud. I didn't know that there was this problem or there was this issue, right?

So it's not something that I'm going to retire on, making a decision, you know, researching the living daylights out of something.

But I'm going to research enough that I feel like I'm not going to make a mistake, that I'm not going to regret the decision that I'm making.

That's how I operate. And if I don't do enough, then I may feel regret. And I don't like to feel regret.

So the more that you actually dig in and help me, help by understanding what I'm experiencing and what my struggles are and what my, you know, what's the emotional decision behind this process, the sooner I'll be able to get to that information.

So here's the deal. Empathy isn't optional.

If you actually care, it is your best competitive edge.

Selling Should Feel Like Serving (00:11:41)

Number three, selling should feel like serving.

We have all experienced a great servant, maybe a great server in a restaurant, maybe a great server on a, on an airplane or something like that, which a lot of them, certain airlines, you're not going to experience that, but others you will.

But we've all experienced that. One person who just served us really well cared, seemed to be having a good day, seemed to be joyous.

Whatever it is, that service in the moment. What can I help you with? What can I get you? What do you need? What are you looking for? That person that is trying to serve me.

That is the best way to get me to convert to whatever you're selling. The best sells conversions don't feel like selling at all. If I feel like you're trying to sell me, then I'm going to tell you.

I'm probably backing up now. One of the worst things I hate doing is going and buying furniture. I'll tell you. That is one of the. Oh, that's just a day I hate depending upon where you're going.

Now, if you're going to a box store, then what's going to happen? You know, as you're, you drive up and they have all of that glass in the front so that they can see you coming, they're already chasing you down in the store before you've even entered the store.

Now, if you work at one of these box stores, no offense, I don't mean any offense. What I'm trying to say is there needs to be better sales training.

I don't want to be sold two feet inside the door. I don't want to walk in the door. And this is literally, literally something I heard once. It's a great day to buy a couch, isn't it? And my response was, I'm not here for a couch.

Not even caring to find out why I was there. You know, I wanted to just say, I'm the UPS guy, I've got a delivery, you know, something that just really throw them off, Right?

But before, no questions as far as what I'm looking for. No questions as far as anything, even the question that they ask is really not a question. It's a statement. Right? It's a great day to buy a couch, isn't it?

That's a statement. It is this crazy idea that by saying that, what. What have you done? You've convinced me I need to buy a couch now. I didn't come for a couch. I came for a table.

I think at that time, I came for, like a table, you know, a tall table. And it was just this ridiculous process of having somebody chase me down as I'm trying to move away from them as quickly as possible.

Why? Because I don't want to be sold yet. I haven't even looked at anything. So no care, no concern, no service whatsoever. Just this.

Let me track you down and stick to you like glue so that I can hopefully convince you that you have to buy something inside of our store that is the worst way you can possibly sell. It feels more like just, I couldn't give a rat's patootie about you.

I only care because I'm the next person up and I've got to make a sale and I need to go back and brag about how I sold you a couch.

If you're a leader and you've ever walked away from a sales call or sales situation thinking, man, that felt more like helping a friend, that's what you're looking for, then you're doing it right. That's what it's supposed to feel like.

I should feel like somebody cared and just wanted to help.

I should feel like somebody is trying to understand me, not tell me what I need to buy, but instead somebody who's coming to me to discover why am I there, what am I doing?

What am I looking for? How much time do I need? Do I need to be able to look through things? Do I need help in the process?

Do I have any questions? But doing it in a way that is trying to find out what I want in the moment. Even finding out, hey, question for you.

Would you prefer to be able to spend time walking around and looking at things and then come and see me, or would you like me to walk around with you and answer some questions and show you some things? What is the way that you would like to experience today?

Right. Finding out what kind of an experience the person wants is huge. Think about personality styles. If it's a high D, it's a short sales process.

The last thing they want is 10,000 pieces of information. Things you need to understand what's the best way to serve you.

So reframe your sales as solving problems for people that you actually care about. Position your product or your service as a path to the result that the client deeply, deeply wants.

What is the result that they want? If you don't know the result that they want, then you're just going to continue to push whatever you think you need to push.

Don't just sell a package of features. One of the things we are huge on with our business and how we sell is finding out what a person needs or a business needs and then filling that with what we have available.

The last thing we want to do is tell them that they need to be in a program or they need to be in a service, or they need to come to a specific event when they don't.

So for us, we'll find out what you're looking for, what you're experiencing, you know, what you need, and then we take what we have that can help and plug that piece in.

Well. But what if it's not the highest selling product? Great. Our goal isn't to just sell the highest selling product or the highest priced product.

Our goal is to, if we fill your your need, your problem with a solution that solves it, then you're going to keep coming back and looking for more ways that we can solve problems.

So our goal isn't, let's sell you the highest priced thing.

Our goal is what do you need? Great. Salespeople don't convince, they serve. Help your team to get there, folks.

Equip Your Team for Trust-based Selling (00:18:23)

Number four, equip your team for trust based selling. Now this is the kind of selling that requires a shift in how you lead your team.

So if you've got high performers, trust, who rely on charm or pressure, then they're probably gonna resist this approach. They may struggle with this until they actually see the results.

Now you've got to obviously coach your team on empathy. You've gotta coach them on active listening, not just closing techniques. Help them to understand what the result of it is.

When I understand that you're not coming at me with techniques, when I understand that you're listening, you're asking questions, you're empathizing with my situation. Then all of a sudden something else starts to happen. I start to trust you.

I start to realize you care about me. And you appear as though you're somebody who can let me walk out of here without a sale, right?

That you're not desperate, you're not having to sell something. When I experience all of those three things with you, then something else happens. Trust. I feel like I can trust you. In this process, I feel like you're not just out to take advantage of me.

I feel like you're not just out to sell me your high priced thing. I feel like you actually care about what happens to me and that you're going to try and find a way to solve the problem that I'm experiencing.

So when you start teaching the result of these different styles that it absolutely ends in trust based selling, then your team will start to focus on gaining that trust of the person they're selling to instead of trying to just sell a product or a service.

Now if your goal is you've got to sell so many things every single day, you've got to have this many sales today, then you may find that this process that we're talking about takes a little bit longer.

But I will guarantee you. Well, let me say the caveat is I don't know what you're selling. If you're just selling a tiny widget, then maybe not.

But if you have anything that requires relationship and it should in your sales process, then this way that we teach selling will actually get you way more, closes considerably more closes considerably more sales.

And when it works and it will celebrate, celebrate the wins where the relationship was focused. Don't just celebrate the revenue, the revenue is fantastic.

Celebrate that somebody is learning that relationship is actually changing the way that they sell and getting them more sales. So trust based selling starts with trust based leadership.

If you're not teaching and modeling this, then it's not really going to land with your team.

You have got to teach them this, you've got to actually act this out, model it for them, do it as you lead them, help them sell your own team by serving them, by listening to them, by asking great questions, by empathizing with them.

If you will model these things then it will make it so easy for them to do the same exact thing as they're trying to serve somebody.

Reflection (00:21:44)

So selling isn't about having the perfect script, it's about caring enough to understand. And when leaders and salespeople embrace servant hearted selling, they don't just win clients, they build loyalty that lasts. Think about it.

How much more do you go back and give your hard earned money to a company that treats you incredibly well? We have got clients that have been with us for years, years and years and years because this is the way we treat them, right?

We don't treat them as a number, we don't treat them as somebody who we're just trying to get a product or a service to. We treat them with dignity.

We care about them and we're, we're big time servants anyways. I mean that's a big part of our mission is our goal is to serve people no matter what, right?

Action Items (00:22:33)

So here's some things that you can do this week.

First, first off, audit your sales conversations. How much time are you listening or your team members listening versus talking?

Number two, clarify the emotional needs behind your client's top pain points.

If you don't know them, if you don't know their top pain points and you don't know the emotional needs behind them, you've got a huge problem. We're not getting to those things.

Thirdly, schedule a team training on empathy based listening and response.

Next-Level Leadership LIVE Event 2026 (00:23:05)

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Well, folks, thank you for joining us today. Now go lead with empathy. Go make a difference. Hopefully this has helped you today. As always, take this information.

Change your leadership, change your business, change your life and join us on the next episode.