Every time I do a Next-Level Life I spend several hours going over the major turns in each participants life. Major turns are key events from your past that help you gain perspective on where you’re at and where you’re going. It’s literally a process of sharing the major changes from your life, like moving as a kid or marriage, loss, accepting Christ, etc. It doesn’t have to be something big, heavy and deep but it very well could be.
Typically, we get around 10 to 15 major turns or changes in each LifePlan. Of course this depends on age and experience too. Some people have 10, others have 18. There’s no right or wrong number but a major turn isn’t just a continuation of an event, it’s something that actually changed the direction of your life.
Here’s what I want you to do:
Think back as far as you possibly can and start writing down the major turns in your life. You’re not doing this to re-live stuff or make monsters or victims. It’s about understanding and gaining perspective. Once you’ve written down every major turn up until now, write down what the impact was in your life on every major turn. How did it affect you? Here’s an example from my life:
- Discovering I wouldn’t make the Olympic team – I was shooting for the ’88 Olympics and sponsorships were not allowed. When I discovered that my family couldn’t afford it, I was devastated. Skiing in the Olympics was my biggest dream and goal. I was so angry that I stopped skiing. I started hanging out with an unsavory crowd. I convinced myself not to dream or shoot for anything big because I could get my heart broken. It impacted me by starting a decision-making process that messed me up for 10 years. I didn’t want to stick my neck out, hope or dream.
Thankfully, after 10 years, I realized what I was doing to myself by giving up on something I loved. I immediately booked a trip to the mountains, rented skis and raced. I’ve been doing that just about every year since. It’s a love of mine. It’s energizing. I finally realized that I made a decision that didn’t just have to do with skiing. Every time I went to make a big decision, I choose not to do anything I could get hurt over.
I began of process of running every major decision through the filter of “Is this going to let me down?” If so, I’m not going to do it.
I had to change force of habit thinking. When we make decisions based on habits of the past, we loose out on some of the great moments or greatest changes in our lives. We do it because we don’t truly understand the perspective of our past. I didn’t have to look back and be mad or make monsters or victims. I simply had to ask, “How did that impact me?” As I understood that, I realized I’d put a decision-making process in place that would affect me for 10 years. To this day, it’s something I have to rule out as a part of my process.
That’s why I want you to do this. Take time this week, schedule it in, and go through your major turns. If you want to dig deeper into gaining perspective on your life, check out Next-Level Life, we will reach out to you with additional information.
Question: How has understanding the past changed your future?
I have people take a piece of paper and divide it into segments (1-5 years, depending upon age). I then ask them to draw a line expressing their ups, downs and “meh” periods. It’s interesting to see how these ups and downs are presented visually. Then we can talk. If I do this with a couple, they do this separately and then we superimpose one on the other. It’s always very interesting! I do this for myself periodically and then see how I express events “now” as opposed to how I showed it in the past. That tells me what’s tweaking my psyche in the present. We all need to reality check ourselves!
It is all boiled down to the THOUGHT process and the filters involved. I am right now in the process of delving into the past and much clarity is surfacing. Thanks for another quality post.
Chris this was another home run!
Your honesty in this post is encouraging and inspiring. To hear and understand how your past specifically influenced and continues to influence was huge for me to hear – thank you for that!
Understanding my past has helped me understand why food and meals at specific times are important to me – we didn’t always have them.
Great – great job!
ahh man simple, understanding my failures where events, not my personality. But two years ago I didn’t understand that.
Thanks to God’s grace, to great pod cast like yours and people like Zig Ziglar, I can now look back, learn from those mistakes, and grow from there.
Plus now I have set up trip wires to not to poison my own pool. And ask my self better questions to what is important to my core values. But most importantly I don’t beat myself up for my past mistakes. And looking back, is so good to see what you have learned and see where you grew.