458 | 3 Ways Leaders Hold Themselves Back

Chris LoCurto 0:00
Leaders who don't take time to do these three things may just be their own worst enemies that is coming up next.

Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are.

Welcome to the show, folks. I hope you're having a fabulous day, wherever you are. Joining me in the studio today is the the devilishly handsome, the utterly mischievous VP of our leadership development and Next-Level-Life facilitator, Mr. Joel Fortner. Welcome to the show, brother.

Joel Fortner 0:48
Thank you. And thank you for that very original introduction.

Chris LoCurto 0:52
You know,that's me, I'm original. Hey, it's always my great pleasure to have you in the studio with me. But before we get to you, we're actually going to talk about something else, which is coming up really soon. And that is the Next-Level-Leadership LIVE Event. Hmm, I feel like we should have like an applause.

should there everyone who's listening picture confetti and balloons, and your favorite tshirt cannons, there you go. We're just over a month away. But there's only a few days left to get in on a really great ticket price. So here's what the event is all about. If you are a business owner or leader, this event was designed for you. This is our premier once a year event that is open to the public, so you don't want to miss it. This year, we'll have even more of what you love, which is both the leadership and the life lessons. Now right now we're still in the Early Bird phase, and you can get discounted tickets. Just go to Chrislocurto.com/nextlevelleadership, one word, to reserve your seats today, the Early Bird special ends this Friday the 25th of February. So hurry, get your seats now. With that said, Joel Fortner. Why are you on the show with me today.

Joel Fortner 2:01
So I'm on the show. Because you know, for one, I'm getting to teach at this illustrious adventure that you do every year. And we're here to talk about leading ourselves better today. And I'm going to be teaching in this whole new life track that we're doing that Monday or that fun Monday, I'm still in love still way back in 2016. We first launched this event, everybody we did Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and I've never left it right. On Wednesday, on day one. While you're teaching all great leadership stuff, I'm going to be teaching all what is hopefully, really great life stuff. And so that's what we're here to talk about today.

Chris LoCurto 2:39
So talk about the new the addition of the live track at the Next-Level Leadership LIVE Event and why we're doing this.

Joel Fortner 2:46
So the reason we're doing this is because we have clients who are bringing team members to this event because they want them exposed to this kind of information. And so while a lot of leaders are going to be sitting in the leadership track all day, on the first day, they're wanting their people exposed to this life teaching. So taking advantage of that so

Chris LoCurto 3:04
Many of those leaders have actually been through Next-Level Lifes that experience things

Joel Fortner 3:07
Exactly. So we've created this full up life track now. And this, really, when I think about it, this better even represents who we are and when we do is that we Shepherd people in leadership and life. So to be able to do all of that within one event is just so it's just so fun. I'm so looking forward to it.

Chris LoCurto 3:27
We are excited about it, we cannot wait to see how that goes with all of the team members that are going to be joining us. And it's just such a powerful thing. We started learning that, gosh, how many years back that a leader would come in by themselves, get the information then have to go train their team on it. And we just started seeing Leaders ask literally, I think it was Josh Gedik may have been the first person and goes, can I just bring my team members and this is just to the retreats that we do because we also do three closed retreats not open to the public. It's just for our mastermind clients, our KLP clients, all that kind of fun stuff. And we're like, yeah, heck yeah bring them, definitely. And after they came, they were like this was so much easier than me going back and teaching. We all got it all at the same time. So we're excited about seeing, adding this live track to it. So when we come back, Three Ways That Leaders Hold Themselves Back From Leading Themselves, as well as leading others.

Joel Fortner 4:26
Hey, it's Joel Fortner. Here I'm the Vice President of Leadership Development on Chris's team and I oversee our Next-Level Mastermind business coaching program. Most business owners and leaders lack a clear path to succeed in business. They question whether they're making the right decisions if they're focusing on the right things to really grow their business. If this is you, you need a coach in your life. coaches help you make better decisions navigate uncertainty lead more effectively and grow your business without sacrificing your life and your family. In their first year. Our clients typically see an average of 67% increase in growth gross revenue and an average of 138% increase in net profit and regained hours of time. Our clients stay in the program for three and a half years simply because of the results they get. So if you're ready to run your business at the next level and see the growth you've been wanting, then visit Chrislocurto.com/mastermind. Again, Chrislocurto.com/mastermind today.

Chris LoCurto 5:27
Alright, so Joel, what is the first way that we're dealing with talking about how leaders might get in their own way, on holding themselves back from being from really excelling as a leader?

Joel Fortner 5:40
So if you're trying to guess this right now, you're trying to sit there and be like, Huh, I wonder what they're going to talk about. I wonder what people would say, I know, I wonder, but I have a feeling it may not be, they may say things around the topic of we're about to hit. But I think people would think oh, it's busyness it's not managing your time? Well, it's whatever it's not, it's actually self protection. It's is a human thing. That's why we're doing the life track this way. And there are going to be some there are gonna be leaders who sit in the life track as well, because they're, you know, because they are making a choice. And they're like, you know, what I've done really well, with Leadership Crazy Cycle, I've gotten a lot of traction on that, you know, culture in the company is phenomenal. And I've taken years to work on that. And they want to pour into themselves into this into this kind of life teaching, because they want to get past these things we're talking about today that and one of the biggest things is self-protection, that there are so many ways that leaders and people learn to self protect, overwhelmingly, because of concerns and fears about man, and losing worth demand or fear of man or insecurities. Or we've been we've experienced stuff. So think about, you know, you're a leader, you're also just a human being, that's experienced stuff that has a root system that may not have had the greatest upbringing that you may have experienced some really difficult things that you may view people not in a great way, you may view people as something to just protect yourself from, rather than to lead to success in your business. So you can get triggered and you can be trained to protect yourself in all kinds of different ways. That only allows you to only go so far in say tough conversations, or only allows you to lead people Oh, so well.

Chris LoCurto 7:27
And if you think about it, like you said, we're all humans, we're all dealing, we all have root systems, we all have struggles, we all have worth issues, there's all these things that we deal with. And then we get a title, a title of leading people, and one of the things that we discover most when it comes to leaders is the mask is there because there's this massive fear of being found a fraud, you know, so many leaders, the self protection jumps in because they're so worried about people recognizing that they're frauds, hey, here's the truth, we all are, right. We're all struggling through learning how to lead people how to become great how to make other people great. But in those early days, if you don't have the tools, then you put this thing on yourself of saying, Man, if somebody finds out, and the truth is what we talked about all the time, as your team already knows, people already know, get past that part, let's move into what does it look like to be a great leader. So ripping that mask off of of, you know, that fear of not being you know, the fear of being found out? And focusing on that self protection? What's number two?

Joel Fortner 8:36
Number two is self-centeredness. And, I mean, this is one that some people may hear that and be like,

Chris LoCurto 8:45
Oh, I'm not I'm not. I'm not ego,

Joel Fortner 8:49
that, especially if you're familiar with this, can you're the highest personality, you would never describe yourself probably as being self-centered. No, that's what other people are. But really look at just what the words mean, like go to the actual definition. It's what do you do that causes you to put yourself at the center of your focus? Sometimes that's fear. Yeah. Sometimes it's not it doesn't have to be puffing yourself. Exactly. It doesn't have to be that but all these things that especially with self protection, that cause us to become self centered. And so if I am a fearful leader, I am self-centered and that I won't go lead and have this tough conversation or I won't have meetings with my team. I won't cast a vision. Because no way am I going to put myself out there because I'm probably going to fail to lead us there. Anyway. These are all things where the focus is on on you.

Chris LoCurto 9:43
So not taking risks. Not risks out of control.

Joel Fortner 9:48
Yeah, absolutely. But then you have the other side where you do have that leader that can be egotistical that can be prideful, that can be that will gladly put themselves at the center of everything. Well, when I go to, you know, the core of what we teach a core principle is that leadership is not about you. It's about making other people successful. When you can transition to that, it's, it's, it's amazingly relieving, it takes all this pressure off of you. Because oftentimes, we have to think I have to look like this leader, and I have to be this leader feel safe, I'm gonna put that that title on. That's why some people are more comfortable with the title of manager, it's like the pressure is less. So it's like, people aren't expecting as much of me, if I say I'm a leader, that denotes something entirely different to some people, which can trigger all kinds of things that causes us to be self centered. Yeah,

Chris LoCurto 10:41
I think we find that the same with business owners, who don't consider themselves to be entrepreneurs. Well, that's a different class notes. It's the same thing. It's just a different word for it, right? Well, those are people that are, you know, go out and do all kinds of crazy, risky things. Whenever you're focused on you, and you're not focused on helping people to be great, then you're always having to go back to number one, self protect, I can't be out of control, I can't take risks that are too big, I can't fail. So again, that drives that focus on self. So when we come back, the third way that leaders hold themselves back in leadership, and in life, that's coming up next.

Unknown Speaker 11:26
Freedom, it's so powerful,

Unknown Speaker 11:28
I felt rejuvenated, almost renewed,

Unknown Speaker 11:30
I just felt so welcomed and loved and accepted for who I am, and not an ounce of judgment. So I was very comfortable there, that had a really big impact on me.

Unknown Speaker 11:41
It'sgoing to be worth it. It's going to be hard. But it's going to be even better. On the other side.

Unknown Speaker 11:47
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Chris LoCurto 12:01
I want you to ask yourself a question. Could you hear the sense of hope and freedom and their voices just that I want you to know, that could be you? Look, it's easy to get trapped in old habits, negative thought patterns and unhealthy relationships, it's gonna take some work. But yes, there is hope for you. If you want to experience the same kind of life transformation, this same kind of self awareness and freedom that they have. Or maybe you're just curious what the process would look like for you, then head on over to Chrislocurto.com/nextlevellife.

So before the break, we were talking about the first two ways that leaders hold themselves back from both leadership and life. And remember, this stems from a core issue that leaders have and folks in general, which is refusing to do the deep painful work of really knowing themselves right now, all of you HIE s is out there. Yeah, you're very introspective. But it's still being very introspective doesn't mean that we've gotten to the tools, we've gotten to the information of how to change it, you're just very aware of yourself. So with all of that being said, we've hit number one. And number two, what is number three?

Joel Fortner 13:16
So number three is self sabotage. And this is a one that this is one that's heartbreaking. I can look back at myself and see all the different ways that I have self sabotage just in my life, let alone as a leader, especially in think back all the leadership roles I had when I was, you know, with a civilian with the Air Force. This is this is a heartbreaking when in ways because you think about what those words mean, you are sabotaging you, no one else is doing it. You're doing it to yourself. And this isn't so incredibly root system driven. Especially those of us are those of you who come from difficult paths that have been trained to believe that you're unworthy, you're only deserving of Oh, so much the lies that we can tell ourselves. They're there on the order of self hate. This is human stuff. And this is the stuff that prays probably my most, it's the most heartbreaking stuff that we help people walk through.

Chris LoCurto 14:28
But it's also some of the stuff that's the most amazing when you see people on the other side of it, the freeing pneus of frankness that I just make that up. The freedom of being able to go to see those things, have tools to deal with it and then start walking it out is just phenomenal, but I remember cash I think it may have been the 2016 event and I think it was you who shared this with me that we had a client who wouldn't come to the event because they said that I don't deserve that event. And I think you and I just stood there with just broken hearts, realizing that a human being looked at themselves and said, I'm not worthy to come to an event that's going to teach me the tools and things that need to be become a better version of myself. And it was just this terrible self sabotaging lie. And, you know, we've seen that multiple times we've seen it, people don't deserve spouses that say, Well, you know, my spouse deserves to go to Next-Level Life. But I don't deserve that, you know, I'm not in that. It's just, that is so heartbreaking. So such a powerful piece on what you're going to be teaching.

Joel Fortner 15:42
Yeah, I think one of the things just to build on that a little bit is that we have a lot of we have a lot of leaders that send people through Next-Level Life. And it's for these very reasons right here, it's because of self-protections, because of self-sabotage, that leaders are seeing this stuff, our leaders who've been with us for a long time, they're so attuned to these things now. And they can see them in their people, but they can also see through it, and they can see the potential of people who they're leading, and they see every day, and they are investing a tremendous amount into their people, sending them here in hopes that they're going to find relief, in find hope and find freedom, and help them overcome not just snap of a finger wave of a magic wand overcome these things. Because what we teach, you have to practice, but if this is you and there are, you know, people who are on your team, that need this kind of information, highly consider bringing them to this event, because they can come and sit through this entire day in that they get this heavy teaching on improving their life and overcoming these things. Make, look at the look at the potential decision of investing in those people. And then having them sit with you for the rest of the event. Because what we're teaching even in the leadership track is still so heavy on on growing you Yeah, as an individual, because that's where leadership starts. It starts with you.

Chris LoCurto 17:12
Yeah, I think, you know, it's, it's so powerful for us to see, as you just mentioned, leaders will come through business owners will come through when you are focused on you, when you don't know your root system. When you don't know your service level responses. When you don't understand the lies, you tell yourself, when you don't have the tools. You're doing these three things. No matter what level of leadership, you're at how spectacular you are, as a human being, you're still struggling in these areas, and you still struggle afterwards, you just have tools to deal with. But I think it's like you say, as a leader, so many leaders go back, look at their team members and go, Oh my gosh, if only if you can get this information and get these changes in your life. And that's why we're doing this here. And so we're so proud of all those leaders and business owners that aren't after having gone through aren't focused on themselves or going okay, I need to make me better. They're actually stopping and going forget that man, if I can make my team members better if I can help them if I can, you know, throw out a you know, a rescue line, then maybe they can get these changes and help themselves. So and then in turn, man that the leader in the business is blessed, because now you have somebody who's not struggling as much in these areas, and they have tools to get through them, as well as dealing with other folks. So what should people do if this has resonated with them today?

Joel Fortner 18:30
So the next step is to go to Chrislocurto.com/nextlevelleadership, there's a whole information page there. If you want to come to this event, just use the form, just click the button. It'll shoot a form over to me and Aaron will get in touch with you and get you all set up from there.

Chris LoCurto 18:48
Okay, and what if somebody decides they would like to get more information on next level life?

Joel Fortner 18:53
Go to Chrislocurto.com/nextlevellife. Excellent.

Chris LoCurto 18:57
And yeah, lots of information. Folks, if you followed us for any decent amount of time you understand our hearts. We want to help in every way possible to help you to have the strongest and most perspective gathered life you possibly can. Because when you have great perspective, you can make great decisions. Well folks, hopefully this has helped you today. As always, we want you to take this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and join us on the next episode.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai