584 | How to Overcome Self-Sabotage in Your Business Journey

Introduction

Discover common self-sabotaging behaviors in business and learn strategies to overcome them for success. That is coming up next!

Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show, where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are.

Welcome to the show, folks. I hope you're having a fabulous day. Wherever you are today, we are diving into a potentially sensitive but crucial topic, and that is self-sabotage.

Understanding Self-Sabotage

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In your business journey, whether you're a leader or business owner, self-sabotage can be an absolutely significant barrier to your success.

I can tell you, as somebody who has experienced this in his life, especially my younger years, it is something that I have recognized a marked difference in my business life.

When I started overcoming these self-sabotaging effects or these limiting beliefs in my life, does it mean that I never deal with them? No. There's plenty of times that this crops up in my life, but praise God, I've had decades of experience shutting them down.

So when they come up now, it's a heck of a lot easier to get over them, through them, or just shut them down on the very onset. So self-sabotage, it can be deep-rooted, it can be deep-rooted fears, it could be deep-rooted behaviors.

You know, a lot of habits can be overcome by just putting actionable steps in place. So these are the things that we're going to be talking about today, is what does it look like and how do we overcome that?

What Does Self-Sabotage Mean?

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So the first thing I think we need to do, and, you know, a lot of times I think we hear something that is said a thousand times and we go, yeah, I understand what that means. And so I just quickly want to hit self-sabotage. What does self-sabotage actually mean?

Well, if you tear the words apart, self-sabotage, sabotaging myself, that's the concept. But I don't think I am self-sabotaging. I don't feel like I'm doing anything in my business journey that is self-sabotaging.

Well, let's think about that for a second. Are there any times, and by the way, when we look at self-sabotage, one of the very first places we go to is the Root System.

Root System Analysis

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You know, when we look into your Root System, if you've ever been through Next-Level Life and if you haven't had, you need to go through it.

You discover that there's these deposits, these effects that have happened in your life that cause you to believe certain things that cause you to have certain thought processes, that cause you to have responses. We call them surface level responses in Next-Level Life.

Fear and Worth Issues

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Many of those things look like fear fear of failure, fear of success. Believe it or not, some people have a fear of success because they don't feel like they belong there and something's going to happen to rip them out of that success very quickly.

Fear of being embarrassed in situations, fear of people not liking you, fear of man's opinion. There's so many fears that we experience. Fear of not being as good as my other friends that own businesses or our leaders.

Fear of not impressing my parents. Fear of my spouse not being happy with where I am in business. And I mean, the list just goes on and on and on, right?

But it's not just fear that people struggle with worth. Issues are huge at self-sabotaging you.

If your worth is in your title, if your worth is in, you know, being a business owner, if your worth is in the accomplishments that you've had up until now, if your worth is in believing that you work harder than everybody else, all of these things can sabotage your business journey.

All of these things can sabotage what you're trying to accomplish right now. Limiting beliefs, the opposite of worth and achievement.

The limiting belief of I'm never going to be able to achieve that, I'm never going to be good enough there, I'm never going to be able to make that much money, I'm never going to have that many clients.

I'm never going to have that type of client. You know, these are the types of things that, that absolutely hold people back, right?

Impact of Fear and Worth Issues

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The key is, is recognizing that those elements of your life, those elements of your worth, those elements of your being, are things that are keeping you from being more positive about what you can accomplish, are things that are keeping you from being more focused on pace.

Because if you think about it, every time you're worried about something, every time you're fearful, you're slowing yourself down, you're holding yourself back.

Every time you're struggling with worth issues, then your focus is on the worth issue. I must fulfill the worth issue. Every time you're stuck on a limiting belief, you're not even taking the chance, right?

Because you don't believe it's going to happen. Just those three aspects. And again, there's a ton in your Root System that you are probably experiencing holding you back. Just those three aspects shut down so much of your productivity.

Common Struggles Across the Board

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The crazy thing is, is I'm talking to you, whether you're a business owner, business leader, team member, mom, dad, you know, child in the family, whatever it is, the crazy thing is, as you're focusing on you, as I'm talking about this.

How many people on your team are struggling with the same things? Well, I can guarantee you almost, if not all of them are right. We all struggle with these issues to some extent.

Just some people are really good at getting over it. Some people are really good at not letting it affect them. Question is, are you? And if your answer is, oh, yeah, of course, I'm. I get over it really easy.

Then stick with me as we go through this show, because I bet you're going to find out that you, you struggle, that these things are holding you back, that these self-sabotaging behaviors are affecting what you do.

Two Extremes: Fear and Overconfidence

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So two extremes of this, you know, obviously, fear is a common thing, but extreme fear or extreme overconfidence, I shouldn't even say extreme over, just overconfidence.

These are two areas that absolutely can lead to self-destruction, not just self-sabotaging. You know, sabotaging you is, is affecting you in a negative way.

It's sabotaging your efforts. It's sabotaging you as a person. But then there's also the, the level of self-destruction where you are just literally ripping you apart.

Whatever it is that's happening, you're destroying it at a specific pace. And, you know, everything is probably unraveling. High levels of fear do that in a heartbeat. Why?

Because when you operate in a high level of fear that you're constantly afraid of things, you're constantly worried about things, then every part of your day is not focused on being a productive person.

It's focused on mitigating the fear or the imagination. Right. Because almost all fear is imagination. Very little fear is actually based in current fact. Right.

Almost all fear is, this could happen. This might happen. What if this does happen?

So when you're stuck in that, unfortunately, you spend an incredible amount of your time trying to mitigate that, or you just spend a lot of time meditating on it.

Unfortunately, some people get stuck in, I'm just going to live in the fear. They don't even get themselves pulled out. So incredibly self-destructive. So self-destructive.

Overconfidence and Hubris

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Another thing is, is the overconfidence piece. There's a great, great book. Jim Collins has a bunch of fantastic books. If you've never read "Good to Great," you got to get that.

But another great book that he wrote was "How The Mighty Fall." And there's a fantastic section on hubris, which really, technically, the whole book, you could say is about hubris in one way, shape or form.

But this concept of how overconfidence causes people not to think, not to act, not to be proactive. Not to respond well, but to believe that everything is going to be fine, there are no problems, everything's going to be great.

I can tell you this has not been something that I have dealt with a ton in my life. However, I have dealt with hubris.

I remember a time, years and years ago, where our Next-Level Life program, it was being sold so far into the future that I couldn't stand my High S personality, my high Altruism, couldn't stand telling people that it was going to be a long time before they got to be in an event.

And one of the things I did is I asked one of our leaders, well, I asked Joel at the time, who was one of our leaders there, to turn off the marketing on it, turn off the funnel, because it had gone so well.

I mean, it's. Surely it's going to go well. As you know, once we turn it back on and our time dropped back down, you know, considerably, got back into a normal pattern, I'm like, okay, we'll go ahead and turn the marketing back on.

We're at that place. Nothing. There was nothing. I mean, it was not even a drip at first. You want to talk about realizing. You want to talk about realizing what hubris is? That was one of those moments.

Everything in "How The Mighty Fall." I read that book decades ago. Everything about "How The Mighty Fall" just popped in my head of like, oh, my gosh, this was us. Now it's not ego per se.

I mean, it really isn't. Oh, my gosh, we're so good. We're so amazing. It was the overconfidence of, oh, no, this is going really well. There's a big difference between those two.

And so I hope you understand, because you might be confused yourself. I was. I was confused because I wasn't being egotistical. In fact, I was not wanting to tell people no, which would be the lack of ego. Right.

But my confidence that it was going to continue to work out as soon as we turn the funnel back on was the hubris. That was the overconfidence.

Now, praise God, within about a month and a half or so, a month, month and a half, all of a sudden, things started coming right back around, which is awesome.

But it was a great exercise in recognizing overconfidence. A self-sabotaging behavior that, geez, done incorrectly, you know, or done to extreme, that could have been very destructive.

You know, what if that momentum would have just tanked completely? Who knows, right? So hopefully that makes sense. When you look at these two things, an abundance of fear over or an abundance of confidence.

Both of those can lead to very self-destructive behavior.

Common Self-Sabotaging Behaviors in Business Owners

Procrastination (00:12:08)

Now, common self-sabotaging behaviors when it comes to business owners. Procrastination, believe it or not. Now, a lot of business owners have been able to bust it and make things happen and work really hard. So you would never think about procrastination.

But sometimes we get to a place where, um, you know, things, again, a level of hubris, where things are going so well that we begin to procrastinate, we begin to delay making important decisions, we begin to delay taking action.

And it could be for many reasons, maybe things are going so well that now fear of failure is really jumping in too. Right.

So it could be that we're avoiding, maybe making crucial financial planning decisions, which drives me nuts. You know, business owners, you should be on top of this.

You should be on top of your finances. You should be understanding your P&L. You should be understanding your current budget and your forecasting going forward.

This is something that you should be spending time in. I happen to live in my accounting.

You know, I'm, every week I'm in there seeing what's going on, making sure I understand, reading my numbers, checking my forecast, checking my current budgets.

What happened, you know, what happened in this last month, what's happening in this current month, what's going to be adjusted going forward? What can I expect?

All those pieces are super important. Those are, those are crucial pieces for you to know what the future looks like so you can plan really well for the future.

If you don't know those aspects, how do you plan? What? Finger in the air, which a lot of people tend to do, right. It's the same thing with marketing strategies.

Are you actually working on a marketing strategy or are things just going so well that you just keep doing the same thing over and over again and hope that it continues to grow and work out really well? What you may, who knows?

It could, it's possible. I'm just saying procrastinating on those pieces could absolutely be self-sabotaging to you.

You may not know it, you may not recognize it, but it could come around and bite you in the butt. So let's be proactive on that.

Perfectionism (00:14:18)

Another common self-sabotaging behavior is perfectionism. You know, sometimes people set just unattainably high standards that are going to absolutely prevent progress.

You know, not, it's going to keep people from getting things out to clients, you know, services done or, you know, product lines that need to happen. Right.

Spending just tons of excessive time on minor details while neglecting the larger, broader goal. This happens all the time. All the time.

When really you need to be asking the question, what is the goal? Have we reached it? Have we gotten to the goal? Is it, are we at a place where we are good enough? Right now?

There's these old sayings like things like good enough is the enemy of best.

Yeah, that's very true. But guess what? Perfectionism is also the enemy of actually getting something launched.

Perfectionism is the enemy of good enough.

You know, if, if we're not getting things moving forward because we are continuing to mess around with every single teeny, tiny detail, then when are we going to get stuff done?

When are we going to get things launched? So perfectionism could absolutely be a terrible self-sabotaging behavior.

Overcommitment (00:15:40)

Another self-sabotaging behavior is overcommitment. And I know none of you ever do this, none of you ever take on too many tasks and responsibilities, right?

Everybody listening to this, you're like, oh, no, I've got plenty of time in my schedule to handle anything. Listen, if you're following this show, then there's a really good chance you're somebody who's taken on too much.

There's a really good chance that most of you, and I'm, I'm saying most because I know a lot of the people listening to this show have overcome task saturation through our process of killing the Leadership Crazy Cycle.

So if you have, if you are stuck in task saturation where you are just doing too much, you have too many responsibilities, you have too many things going on, too many things on your plate, however you want to say it, then guess what?

You're not giving anything the proper attention that it needs. And being a leader, that absolutely means you are not leading people.

You're definitely not leading them well, because you're not getting enough time in because you've said yes to way too many things.

So if you say yes to every opportunity without even considering your own capacity, right, your own limits, then what are you saying no to?

Every time you say yes to something, you're saying no to something else. If you keep saying yes to things and you have not really taken a hard look at your capacity, then chances are you're saying no to quality.

You're saying no to good execution. You're saying no to great results, because doing is much more important.

This is something that must go. You've got to, especially as a leader. Your job as a leader is to make your team successful, not the other way around. Right?

So if you're bogged down in tasks guess who you're looking to help you make you successful? The people on your team.

If you have come to a place of understanding what proper delegation, which is what we call it in Killing the Leadership Crazy Cycle, it's a must.

You have to delegate properly. Not just delegate, delegate the right way.

Then instead of focusing on doing 47,000 tasks, you really become heavily focused on making sure that you're duplicating yourself by making other people successful. It is crazy powerful.

So those are absolute common, you know, self-sabotaging behaviors. I think everybody who's listening to this can agree with those, can understand those. You probably have recognized where you're struggling in some of those areas.

The Role of Identity and Ego

Intrinsic Worth Beyond Business Success (00:18:24)

Let's talk about the role of identity. And, you know, an ego, right? There is an intrinsic worth that you have beyond business success.

So unfortunately, so much of the supposed thought leaders in the world today are yelling at you and screaming at you about how much more you have to do and how you have to become this and you have to become that.

And you have to be working at 03:00 in the morning and going to bed at, you know, midnight.

And, you know, you got to be doing a hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle, hustle. And, you know, this is what you should be making. And this is how much money you should be making.

And this, this, this. And I'm gonna tell you, it, so much of it is just. I mean, it's just junk. That's what it is, right?

First thing that you need to do is recognize that if your identity is tied up in a title, if your identity is tied up in being a business owner, if your identity is tied up in success according to man's opinion, then you will spend your entire life trying to prove to man that you're good enough.

Let me say that again. If your identity is tied up in man's opinion, then you will spend the rest of your life trying to prove yourself to Man.

If you have an ego that is so focused on how great you are. Now think about ego, right? We think of ego as being confidence. But really, what is ego? Ego is a form of pride, or pride is a form of ego.

However, you want to look at this, right? Ego is saying, I'm not good enough, but I'm going to make myself good enough. I'm going to puff myself up. I'm going to believe, I'm going to convince myself that I'm incredible, that I'm amazing.

All of those things in there are about the individual, the person. Look how amazing I am. Let me tell you how incredible I am. Look at all the incredible things I've done, folks.

Ego is a colossal waste of time. It's the false self. It's the false ego is the false self. I believe your true self is in what God says you are. That is where you should be looking for your identity.

That is where you should be focused on what you should be, what success looks like in your life. So if you go all the way back to the garden of Eden, what did God command of us?

Partner with me. I have stuff to do. I want you to partner with me on it. Adam and Eve were supposed to partner with God in tending to the garden.

They were not supposed to go focus on self. They were not supposed to go focus on power, which a lot of people missed that piece in taking of the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

They were supposed to focus on partnering with God, accomplish his goals, not your own goals.

So if your ego is stuck on you accomplishing your own goals, then you're going to miss out on this, this worth that you have that is well beyond business success. What is it?

That you have a value that is independent of your business performance. That you have a value that God has already lined out, defined, shared with you. You just got to get into his word and find it.

You got to see how the king of the universe looks at you. You have to see how the king of the universe wants you to partner with him, not go build your own empire.

There are ridiculous people out there that are busting their butts to build an empire to themselves. Here's what I want you to understand. This is the world according to Chris LoCurto.

I believe you're either focused on building the kingdom of God or you're focused on building the empire of self. If you're focused on the kingdom of God, God is your father.

If you're focused on the empire of self, it ain't God who's your father, it's Satan. Because what's the intention there? Pull you as far away from God as possible.

So, yeah, but Chris, what does that have to do with my business? Everything. Are you using your business? Are you using your leadership to help partner with God?

God doesn't care about my, you know, concrete pouring company. He absolutely does. God's the one who created commerce. God's the one who created concrete. He created you. Right?

He knows there's a purpose for it. He has a purpose for it.

But if the goal is for you to be amazing and for you to be incredible and for you to be recognized and for you to have identity in man's eyes, then you have no clue how that's going to not only self-sabotage you, but self be incredibly self-destructive.

Impact of Ego and Overconfidence on Decision-Making (00:24:01)

On top of all this, the impact of ego and overconfidence can absolutely affect your decision-making processes. We talked about this a little bit.

Think about it. If you're so egotistical that everything, you know, you're doing such an incredible job and you're amazing and you, you, you, then how are you going to make decisions?

Everything's going to be based on making you look good. Everything, right? So you've got to check your ego at the door.

Do everything you can to get rid of that incredibly self-sabotaging behavior. Focus on what it means to be. I'm not telling you don't go do what you do for a living.

I'm not telling you don't run the business that you run. Most of the businesses out there can be impactful for the kingdom. You just got to dig in and find out how.

How do you serve God and serve his creation and do it well? How do you point people back towards him?

Strategies to Overcome Self-Sabotage

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Folks, if you've been listening to me for any length of time, then you know the number one issue, when it comes to business, when it comes to family, when it comes to friendships, is having a lack of high quality communication to make sure that you are absolutely winning in every aspect of your life.

It all starts with having great communication.

The best way to get that communication is to understand your personality style and to understand the personality style of the folks that you're spending the most time with, whether it be at work, whether it be at home.

The best way to do that is to go to chrislocurto.com/store and get your personality profile and personality profiles for your team today.

Get it for your family members today. As you go through that profile, you will begin to see the greatest ways to communicate.

Go to chrislocurto.com/store today.

Develop Self-Awareness (00:26:09)

So what do we do? Chris, I hear you saying all these things, but what do we do about this? How do we overcome self-sabotage? Right?

It can't be just that easy. I mean, if it's something I've been doing for decades, what do I do? Well, the first thing, and you've heard me say this a billion times, you have to become self-aware.

You have to identify and acknowledge the self-sabotaging patterns that you have. You've got to pay attention. And I've only mentioned a couple guys.

I've only mentioned just a few we go through, we have a long list of things that we help people to focus on through Next-Level Life.

You've got to get to a place where you're aware of it. And if you're not able to get there, then you need somebody who can help you become aware of it.

Let us help you. We would love to, but here's the deal. The sooner you become self-aware, the things that are causing you to sabotage yourself, the, the self-sabotaging patterns, the sooner you can start changing them.

So here is a simple thing that you can do right now, and I know a lot of you're going to hate this, but hey, it just depends on how, how desperate you are to overcome self-sabotage in your life, whether or not you'll do this.

What if you started writing down, you know, you can keep a journal, you can write it on a notepad, I don't give a rip.

But what if you started keeping a journal to track the negative thoughts and the negative behaviors that you have?

What if you started creating this self-awareness by taking a really hard look at yourself, and then every time something comes up, you just start to write it down?

Put something down. You don't even have to go into great detail, but start tracking how many times you have negative thought patterns. And no, you're not going to catch every one of them.

You're going to catch a small fraction of it. But you'll be blown away by how many times you have negative thought patterns, by how many times you're self-sabotaging you, by how many times you have limiting beliefs.

Oh, I can't do that. Oh, that's never good. That person doesn't love me. Oh, that. My family member doesn't care about me.

All these different aspects are things that you're telling yourself and you're holding yourself back with. So what if you start writing them down?

What would happen? You'd start to get really disgusted with that list of things. You'd start to recognize how much time in the day that you're just currently aware of that you're affecting you.

So if you want to start to overcome this, start by acknowledging it. You've got to find a way of recognizing the things that you're doing to you.

Set Realistic Goals (00:28:58)

Next thing you need to do, set realistic goals. Guys, there's so many people out there that are constantly telling you, set these big goals. Set these. I have no problem with you setting big goals.

My thing is, is I want you to set realistic goals as well. So for me, for, I don't know, how many decades? But it's been a long time.

I like to look at a good, better best as I'm setting goals. Right. What would a good goal be? What would a better goal be? What would a best goal be?

So the better and the best are always going to be stretch goals, right? Obviously the best is going to be the biggest stretch, but you're putting things in place that are realistic.

Now, here's my caveat, okay? Please do not save yourself by creating goals that are super easy for you to hit. Right. That's not a realistic goal.

A realistic goal is not something that you can trip and fall on. Right.

A realistic goal is something that you're going to push yourself on, that you're going to have to obviously measure yourself and make sure that you're putting enough effort into it and make sure you're removing enough distraction from your life.

Make sure that you've put the correct amount of importance to the goal. And then you go after the goal. You create a step by step plan for whatever it is.

I'm launching a new product, launching a new service, making your marriage stronger, raising your children better. Whatever it is you put in step by step plans, this is how I'm going to get there. Why?

Because you're breaking the goal down into more manageable steps. Right. We do a huge thing in StratPlan where we back up, you know, we take a look at, here's this big action item that we're going to go after.

Now let's break this thing all the way down into individual tasks and who's going to do them. Once you do that, then you have something that you can follow.

Keep in mind, you're probably going to be doing this while you're doing the rest of your work as well.

So it does have to be realistic with all the other things you're supposed to be responsible for.

But if you are stuck in task saturation, then one of the things you need to do is learn how to kill the Leadership Crazy Cycle. You need to learn how to properly delegate.

You need to learn how to get these tasks off of you as a leader. Do you do that with every single person on your team?

No, we have plenty of people who are hired to do tasks. Those people look to you to lead them and make them better.

So if you're not doing it, then they're being stuck where they are. So get the things off your plate, do it properly. Then let's move on to the next stuff. Right.

Seek Support and Accountability (00:31:45)

Another thing that you can do to absolutely cut down or really get rid of a bunch of these self-sabotaging behaviors, seek support and accountability.

I know, as I say that I know a lot of you business owners are like, oh, gosh, you use that accountability word. I hate accountability.

You really don't hate accountability. You hate what people in your past have called accountability. And really what it was is them being a jerk, hitting you over the head and calling you out on stuff all the time.

That's not quality accountability. You know, I still to this day believe most entrepreneurs become entrepreneurs because they can't stand having to deal with the bad leadership that they've experienced. Right?

They don't want this, this accountability piece, and that's what they, they think in their mind when come to find out. It's not a matter of accountability that you don't want, it's crappy leadership that you don't want.

That's what you don't want. You need to make sure that you're engaging with mentors, with coaches, with peer groups. You need to make sure that you're taxing the collective intelligence.

You need to join a Mastermind group for regular feedback, motivation and quality accountability.

That's what we say when folks join our mastermind program. One of the things that we help them to see is that they're joining a brain trust.

They're joining a group of people who are not their cousin Fred, who's given all of his advice on how they need to run their business, and he's never run one before.

You know, it's not this family member, it's not this friend that has no clue that's telling you all the things you're doing wrong.

It's literally people in the same processes doing the same stuff. Even if they're in, you know, all of them are in different industries in some way, shape or form.

But it's people going through the same stuff who understand where you are, what you're doing, what you're experiencing, and it's lifting each other up and it's getting solid advice and it's getting solid push when you need it.

And it's getting, you know, prayer when you need it. You've got to have this kind of stuff surrounding you.

You've got to have quality people who can speak into your life, not the people who don't have a clue what it's like to be a business owner or clue to be what it's like to be a leader.

But they have every answer in the book for you, and none of them work. None of them are good because they've never done it before, right?

Summary

(00:34:06)

So if you're going to solve the self-sabotage, you've got to make sure that you're self-aware.

You've got to make sure that instead of living, you know, doing the same thing over and over again every day, that you're setting up really good goals and breaking them down into manageable tasks.

And for the love, get a solid group around you who can guide you, direct you, lift you up, help you through this process.

So two things I would love for you to check out. We did two episodes on self-sabotage, episode 238 which is The 6 Subtle Self-Destructive Behaviors We Miss Everyday. Powerful, powerful episode.

It's easy for us to see blatant self-destructive behaviors, but difficult to see our own subtle ones. So these behaviors can create distance in relationships. They can isolate us from other people. They can make us unhealthy physically.

They can absolutely stop us from being our true, authentic self. They can hold us back at work, hold us back in, in our marriage, in our parenting. They can keep us stressed out.

Additional Resources

(00:35:11)

And on top of all this, they can keep us continuously, continuously overcommitted. So 238 | The 6 Subtle Self-Destructive Behaviors We Miss Everyday, as well as 453 | Self-Sabotaging Your Authenticity.

Listen to these episodes so that you can learn how to identify self-sabotaging tactics, address them, and then shift your mindset to get yourself unstuck by being your truly authentic self.

So. Or another thing we've got for you, a great four minute read. It's the 7 Signs You Self-Sabotage. All of these things are linked in the description. If you're listening to this on iTunes. I don't know.

I think you mash my head and you can see all the notes and stuff. I don't know. I don't know how they do that nowadays. It's been a long time since I've done that.

Final Thoughts

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So self-sabotage can be a terrible obstacle. It can be a very difficult obstacle to overcome. But with the right strategies and mindset, you absolutely can overcome it.

By recognizing self-sabotaging behaviors, understanding their roots, and implementing practical solutions, you can unlock your full potential and lead your business to new success.

Good success, correct success. So stay tuned for more insights. And remember, the journey to overcoming self-sabotage starts with a single step.

Take that step today. Well, folks, that is all the time that we have for you. We hope this has been very helpful and very beneficial.

As always, we want you to take all this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and join us on the next episode.