466 | Three Rules For Eliminating Distraction

Chris LoCurto 0:10
Welcome to the Chris LoCurto show where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are. Welcome to the show, folks. Hope you're having a fabulous day, wherever you are. Today joining me again, for the fabulous deconstruction now maybe that's not it, what is it? What would we say it is? It's this?

Brian A 0:38
I don't know, I haven't got enough of us yet. I don't think once again, once again,

Joel Fortner 0:47
speak for yourself.

Brian A 0:50
They can't get enough of Joseph. That's for sure.

Chris LoCurto 0:53
That's for sure. I think these have been great. I'm hoping that everybody thinks these episodes are fun and fantastic. And I think it's a great opportunity for us to take a look at rules and see if we agree with them and see if we believe that they fit. And today we're talking about distraction. And if I can just just let me check. Do I need to check an email before we get on with the show here? What what do you look at? Is that your has

Brian A 1:27
Just got a notification?

Joel Fortner 1:28
Yeah, my mom's calling. Hold on a second.

Chris LoCurto 1:32
Okay. So, folks, the jokes don't get any better than this. This is the best that we've got right here. So today, we're talking about distraction. And Brian, you're gonna take over the show. But before we get to that, we've got this fun announcement right here.

Joel Fortner 1:54
Hey, it's Joel Fortner here. I'm the Vice President of Leadership Development on Chris's team and I oversee our Next-Level Mastermind business coaching program. Most business owners and leaders lack a clear path to succeed in business. They question whether they're making the right decisions if they're focusing on the right things to really grow their business. If this is you, you need a coach in your life. coaches help you make better decisions, navigate uncertainty lead more effectively, and grow your business without sacrificing your life in your family. In their first year, our clients typically see an average of 67% increase in gross revenue, and an average of 138% increase in net profit and regained hours of time. Our clients stay in the program for three and a half years simply because of the results they get. So if you're ready to run your business at the next level and see the growth you've been wanting, then visit Chrislocurto.com/mastermind. Again, Chrislocurto.com/mastermind today.

Chris LoCurto 2:55
Alright, we're back. And Brian, you're taking over take over brother.

Brian A 2:59
Hey, well, we're back for another round of three rules four. So the way that we play is I'm going to introduce three rules for a subject that Chris mentioned a minute ago. And then our contestants Chris and Joel are going to battle to see in wet paper bags to see which one can emerge first. So let's see how this goes. No, we're talking about eliminating distraction, or at least trying to reduce it. I mean, we've got productivity at stake. But we've got our sanity at stake. Much of what we suffer from in our modern culture stems from being overstimulated. No jokes, please. Too many sources of information are streams of interruption. And so that's why it's an important topic. And I'd love to get some, I don't know some perspective around this. I mean, we live in a hyper-stimulated culture. Just think about it recently. In the last couple of years, words like trigger. overstimulate hypertension, these are now common in our vernacular. So here's the deal. Distraction is the enemy of gaining traction. So actually getting somewhere in life and business etc. And this lack of focus is killing our productivity. So this isn't one of the rules. This is just the context here. Distraction is the enemy of gaining traction, guys, anything to add to the context and the perspective before we get into the rules.

Chris LoCurto 4:39
I'm intrigued. So, so far I'm agree with a lot of that. I do believe that we are you know, as you pointed out, it is amazing to me, as we lead people, even in events or calls or something like that how many times you can see distraction playing a part of, you know, just even leading somebody to great perspective on something, there's a lot of distraction out there. And it's, it's even become tough to get people to disengage. And again, we have a lot of business owners and leaders. And so you know, a lot of stuff is going on back at the business. But our goal is if you follow the things we teach, you can step away, you know, you can step away from the business. But it's interesting that in the process, how many times somebody can be incredibly distracted with something that's going on, and they're not able to step away that That for me is, is sad, and it it makes it where I'm, I really want them to get to that place of feeling comfortable, Joelseph,

Joel Fortner 5:51
I think I would speak to that. I would speak to that from the, from the personal side, as you were kind of hitting it even from a leadership or a business perspective. But on the personal side, people want to gain traction as well. And a lot of people have goals, and they want to be a certain way, achieve certain goals be a certain way in their marriage or be a certain way with their kids, or whatever it may be. And the same stuff applies there that we have these enemies of of traction and enemies of momentum and enemies that we have to really be intentional about. Which means you have to have a really you have to have really great clarity on Where are you going? And what does that look like? And how do I get there to be where I want to be in my life and my marriage to maybe things that God has called you to do. And there's always going to be tension, there's always going to be things that are going to put that at jeopardy, that are all part of that management process.

Chris LoCurto 6:55
Gosh? So, you know, we came into this from the business side. And Joel, that's so fantastic for you to bring that in. Because this could we can talk about this for hours. Like as you're talking the things that are hitting me. How many times are we distracted from the time we're supposed to be with our family? How many times are we distracted by parents, especially young parents listening to this world that their kids must be in 17 different functions during the week, otherwise, they're not going to, you know, grow up well. And yet, what do we see when people are in 17 different functions during the week, they don't grow up? Well, they don't have family time. They don't have, you know, good quality time with parents and siblings and things like that. Instead, they run Run, run, run, run and think that that's where their life is supposed to be. So yeah, I mean, it's, it's interesting, as you say that, I mean, I feel like that's even more powerful and more more, you know, weightier than even the business side. So I don't know where you're going, Brian, but have at it.

Brian A 7:57
I don't either. And that's what makes us fun. No, I, I think I think it's important to highlight a lot of a lot of some of the most I'm writing I'm as I'm talking I'm so distracted. Now as, as you guys are talking, I'm thinking about some of the most popular business and and sometimes for life books are along the lines of, you know, getting things done essentialism, The War of Art, just to name a few. I mean, we've we've all read books like this, because we we're we're in a culture that values productivity. And so that's a that's at jeopardy, that's in jeopardy, obviously. But I think the underlying thing or the the more to the bass line, problem is our own sanity is at risk because we're so distracted and pulled and we allow that and so our awareness goes out the window, our attention, our focus, and we've actually spoke on that here recently, a couple of the the most recent podcasts have dealt with things like that. I mean, even in what we what we teach on the life side, for next level life, we talk about self awareness. Well, that ability I mean, that's that's a practice skill. That's not something that you know, at least for me, I didn't naturally and I still don't naturally it's it is very much swimming up river upstream to to find that that awareness, the tension and the focus that I need to be able to look at myself and change the things that I want to change. So all that to say, yes, it's productivity. It's also on the life side like Joel was hitting, and so I'm excited to see where we can get into these three rules and maybe hit on both sides of that same coin. So, without further ado, if we can set up the game here, here's how we play. I read a rule and its associated rationale, and then one of you will kick it off with an immediate reaction. Maybe you love it, maybe you hate it, you'll need to modify it to fit your perspective and experience and the other person will weigh in by either agreeing or disagreeing. Once again, the more disagreement, the more entertaining and informative, hopefully, we know you. That's why I'm here. That's the only reason I'm doing this. Now, the point is that the listener hopefully takes away from all of the ideation and deliberation that goes into each point or rule a greater perspective. And that's what we do here at the Chris LoCurto show. So here we go. Rule number one. Rule number one is create boundaries. Here's the rationale. If you're allowing, notice the word play here, if you you are allowing too many influences in your life too much clutter, then you're creating distraction, not eliminating it, do the hard work of making boundaries. Agree, disagree. Let's go!

Chris LoCurto 11:04
100% agree. And, yeah, I like even I feel like the word boundaries is even overkill. Right? I think the important thing that, you know, I don't know who originally came up with this, but we all teach it. If you're saying yes to something, you're saying no to something else, right? The key is, is that we feel like we live in a society that says you got to hustle, you gotta go, you got to run, you got to make things happen, you know, even in the concept or context of productivity, it is always you've got to go above and beyond to make things happen. I'm one of and I don't know if there's anybody else out there teaching this. But I'm one of the folks who goes against this concept of hustle that you've got to go and spend 18 hours a day, you know, trying to create something while your family suffers. Now, some people would say, oh, it's only for a short period of time. No, I completely disagree. There, there is a time to get things done and you need to house you need to make it happen, we would call it you know, the ox is on the ditch, get the ox out of the ditch, right? But there's so much being taught about how you need to go and build an empire when you don't see your family. And I'm going to always push back on that and say, well, as a believer, that's just anti God. That's not what God wants. Right? That's it priority is not building an empire. Priorities, relationship with God. relationship for the if you look through Ephesians, four, five and six, relationship with God relationship with your spouse relationship with your kids, then the work side of things come in, right. So for me, I'm all about, I own four businesses. I'm all about busting it. You know, we were doing everything in the office, we're trying to make the rich happen. We've got so much stuff going on. But there's no doubt we start when we can go and we run and run and run. But when it's time to stop and spend family time together. For you know, for us, we honor the Sabbath. So we have that time of rest. And God. We do these things, because we're prioritizing them. But when we can't do the productivity side, we don't we choose not to and the reason why is is I love my wife. I love the time we have together I love my team. I love you guys. I love being able to continue this stuff in it not ruined my life. Right. So I think, you know, definitely boundaries is an important thing. I would just say, like, for me boundaries is putting a boundary against something, you know, something doesn't come at you. But I think you're the one who has to make the decisions of what do I choose to not choose in life? What's important to me? What do I go after? And then what do I say no to Now, here's where boundaries definitely would come in. If you have controlling or manipulative people in your life, and you're choosing to spend time with let's say, family or spend time with God, and they feel slighted? Well then that's where healthy boundaries may have to come into play. But also keep in mind, God wants us to be in community, right? There's times to be in community there's times to work. So I think that's where I would see the boundaries part really play out is you know, there, I can't get to everything. I can't get to everybody. We have lots of clients. We have lots of stuff going on. We have lots of events happening. I can't get to everybody, but I tried to do the best that I possibly can. I will let people know. Hey, texted me on this. You know, some people don't want to bother me. They're like, well, I know you're busy. I don't want to bother you. I'm like no, bother me just understand. I might be in a four day straight event, which means I may not get For a week, right, but get, you know, send me a question, we'll find a time to talk. Just understand that the priority at the moment may override me getting to you. Now, if you become the priority in the moment, then I will jump in and take care of you. But I even let people know. If you don't hear from me, it's probably because I'm in a strat plan. I'm in a next level life, I'm doing an event somewhere, I will get to you. Just hold on to it. So those are my thoughts. jolt?

Joel Fortner 15:35
Yeah, as much as you won't like it, Brian, I do completely agree with you know, and I think, you know, and I, you know, in agree with everything you just said, Chris, and, you know, when I look at the importance of this, it's Brian shakes his head. Yes, Brian shakes it said, and just turned off. All the whole podcast, I think that's so important is is how we make decisions. And what can pull us away from having boundaries. Because again, I mean, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna say it again, I agree with it, and then share some thoughts on it is that depending on how we make decisions, and depending on where our worth is coming from, or depending on what we feel like we may have to control in our lives, those things can pull us away from having boundaries. But when you've so I'll let me I'll, this is a thought that's on my mind here is when it comes to making decisions is special, especially Chris, as you were speaking about empire building, and, you know, all these things that can give us a sense of worth or give us a sense of significance. And if we are chasing significance, and I will say in the wrong places, we will, it will be really difficult for us to have boundaries or our boundaries will be let's say that our significance is coming from, you know, our careers. And men very much. So generally speaking, men can be very guilty of this, where women can really struggle with finding a lot of significance. And being a mother. There's a lot of words that can come from that a significance that can come from that. Well, if that's left unchecked, in and we're not doing well, making making decisions there. Because we're chasing worth those boundaries become, Hey, hon, I'm sorry, I'll have to see you later, I'll be home at night. Or that boundary becomes, hey, I'm sorry. You know, husband, I've got to take care of my kids. And that's where I've got to focus all the time. And I've got to put you in second place behind the kids. And it's about how we're making decisions. It's about what is feeding us this sense of value and makes us feel important, they're makes us feel prominent, or, again, give us gives us this sense of worth or esteem or confidence. And it's really tricky. And hence, you know, what we teach the next level life is helping gain a lot of clarity on how you're making decisions, or that boundary may become, Hey, God, I don't have time for you, or you only get this little tiny portion of 10 minutes in the morning. And I'm not doing what I really need to be doing in my relationship with God are leading my family in that way. And we end up setting the boundaries with the wrong people, or we set the boundaries around the wrong things. Because again, because we're seeking significance, rather than living in a constant state of knowing your significant already have knowing you are worthy already. in them. You know, I'm hitting a massively complicated and complex topic and issue here that we dive deep into and next level life or on a gazillion other podcast episodes, but it's a huge deal.

Chris LoCurto 19:10
Yeah, that's so powerful, good stuff.

Brian A 19:15
All right. Well, we've tackled one and I will admit, that was a softball spike for our contestants today, but as we get into the next two, hopefully, we'll run it a little bit more controversial.

Alright, guys, rule number two. So remember, these are rules for eliminating distraction. Rule number two is stop scrutinizing. Stop scrutinizing. So here's the rationale over analyzing your options or situation is a detriment to execution, because it creates unnecessary detours from the plain path of executing The plan ahead of you. So rule number two stop scrutinizing. What do we think?

Joel Fortner 20:06
I would say, there is a time for scrutinizing. And there's a time when it's time to move on. So I agree with the rule, in part with just operating off of those two words have stopped scrutinizing. Because you could even you could do nothing but scrutinize. If we're all you know, it's like, Brian, let me take a step back here. Do you have a definition of scrutinize for us? Or shall we just leave this kind of open?

Brian A 20:35
Oh, I'd love to have you guys just speculate. Okay. I mean, and pull in pull in some? Yeah. I mean, I'm, my mind goes to us high seas. And so and there's some yeah, there's obvious rabbit trails to take down there.

Joel Fortner 20:52
So then I'll just continue on, then. Yeah, there's a time to scrutinize and there's a time of me. I mean, we teach gain perspective. I mean, we teach get point of view, get information, look at stuff take stuff apart. But then you reach a point where you have enough perspective. And we you learn what that is, over time? How much do I gain that magic question? Well, Joel, how much is part of the perfect line of perspective, and there's not necessarily such a thing, but we have to balance this out stuff out of knowing, okay, I have I've scrutinized it enough. I've analyzed enough. I've drilled in it enough. Okay, now we need to move forward. If we've made some if we've got some bad perspective, or we make a bad decision, okay, let's fix let's fix that. Let's learn from that. But let's continue on. I think the, you know, a bigger problem, often that I see in our personal lives or in our careers, as leaders and as business owners, is that people don't scrutinize enough at times. You know, the DNI personality styles can be too quick to be like, Well, we talked about it for three minutes. Let's go. Haven't we talked about it enough? Haven't we researched it enough. And the season S's are going after information? They're going after? Whoa, slow down. Let's look at that. Let's get more information. We don't know exactly what we're doing yet. And this one will come back to personality styles and decision making. That this is kind of a no thyself where a see to your point, Brian, I see may get to a point of of being of scrutinizing forever, where a CEO needs to get to a place of realizing okay, my tendency is to analyze forever. Okay, I really do need to move forward here, I need to learn what is the right amount of scrutiny and analysis. The same thing with like, on the high, I can go from my see go to my eye, and my I can be like, let's just move. Okay, that's it. Let's go, let's go make decisions go fast. Let's go, let's move forward. And if I'm living there, if I'm immature there in my personality style, I may not scrutinize enough where the sees like See, told you, Joey needed more information on that. So there's a lot of Know thyself here. In terms of your personality style, and knowing again, that balance of how long to scrutinize versus when to move on.

Chris LoCurto 23:21
I disagree. With the race, the war, the rule, not with everything Joel just said is I mean, I agree with that. I think the the high D-S it's so funny because Brian, your D and C. And so the very same rule you celebrate, right? There's a part of you that says Yes, stop scrutinizing right, and there's a part of you that says no, we have to look at it three more times. I think the key is the old adage, paralysis of analysis. When scrutinizing becomes paralyzing. Oh, there we go. When scrutinizing becomes paralyzing, then we're failing at accomplishing what we're trying to accomplish, right? Because we're now not being productive. Now. With that said, again, I'll go back to you know, speak on what Joel said there. You have to be at a point. So let's take the Heisey you know, because really, who's going to do the greatest amount of scrutinizing get into that paralysis of analysis, it's going to be the higher C personality. So the high the high detail person, when they're under pressure, what they can experience is the fear that they are going to fail. So an interesting thing happens most high seas double check everything. When the Heisey is under that pressure, they bypass triple check and go to quadruple check. I mean, it becomes the and here's the reason why. It's not because they're checking and checking and checking Am I right? Am I right? Am I right? It is check, they move on to something else crap. I wonder if I screwed something up? Let me go back and check it again. Oh, no, okay, everything's good. They move on, well wait a second, maybe. And you know, after four times of checking, they finally get to this place of going, You know what, I think it's fine. The problem with that is, if you don't know your steps, if you don't know the processes, if you don't have the metrics, the measurables, to know that you've done the part that you're supposed to do. Everything else past that double check is technically a waste of time. It's a waste of productivity. Because you're pulling your focus away from where whatever it is that you should be on. Now, you should have moved on to the next thing. You're pulling your focus away your momentum, your mojo, if I may, and going back to something that's already been scrutinized something that's already been double checked, right? So if for some reason you have to go back, then I would start questioning the process. Do I have the right process in place? Do I have the right measurables and process in place to make sure that the thing that I'm doing is getting quality attention? And it's actually done correctly? Right. So I think the the part of stop scrutinizing is, again, after you know what you've done is right, stop move on. However, if you have to keep coming back to it that I'm going to question whether or not you have a good process in place. If you don't, then that's probably where we need to go to next is solving the lack of processes.

Brian A 26:43
All right, that makes sense. Coming up next, the third rule you need to follow in order to eliminate distractions in your life.

Chris LoCurto 26:54
Folks, if you've been listening to me for any length of time, then you know the number one issue when it comes to business, when it comes to family, when it comes to friendships, is having a lack of high quality communication, to make sure that you are absolutely winning in every aspect of your life. It all starts with having great communication, the best way to get that communication is to understand your personality style, and to understand the personality style of the folks that you're spending the most time with, whether it be at work, whether it be at home, the best way to do that is to go to Chrislocurto.com/store. And get your personality profile and personality profiles for your team to day, get it for your family members. Today. As you go through that profile, you will begin to see the greatest ways to communicate, go to Chrislocurto.com/store today.

Brian A 27:52
Alright, welcome back. And we're at rule number three. Remember, we're talking about eliminating distraction from your life. We talked about the first two rules, create boundaries and stop scrutinizing. Now we're going to hit number three.

Rule number three is this accept reality, here's the rationale. If you're avoiding the painful reality around you, and so you go looking for distractions stop, determine to accept what ri really is, and what you have to do next. So rule number three, accept reality, like it, dump it, pass it to the next person.

Joel Fortner 28:34
Brian, could you explain that again? Run by me. All right.

Brian A 28:39
So the the the rationale here is that sometimes we can avoid doing the things that we need to do. Maybe it's a difficult task, something unsavory. But it's part of our work, it's part of our life, to accept the reality that we're in and make progress move forward. And we purposefully distract ourselves with pleasure with, you know, things that don't matter, things that are easier, instead of doing the hard work of what we need to do, to be healthy, to move forward to get things done. And so the idea here is accepting the reality that we're in, this is where I am for now. And so I need to embrace the reality instead of going to look for distractions and creating some kind of a false narrative or fictional life and I immerse myself in entertainment and so forth.

Joel Fortner 29:38
Okay, so I think I'm following all of that. I feel like we just packed in about eight to 10 topics into one that we could wrap on and talk about, but I think if I'm following the rule and the rationale correctly, then there I think there are times when we do need to accept and see Hey, what's going on, this is what I'm facing. And so rather than be a victim to it, or rather than go to, let me ignore it or be distracted by pleasure or be distracted by easier things, I think there is a lot of health in terms of acknowledging circumstances. So that you can say you can settle in, you have an expectation of, okay, this is where I'm at, let's move forward. The key is, as long as you're moving forward, and you're moving forward in a good direction, as opposed to this is just too hard. This is too difficult. Let me now not deal with what I need to my responsibilities or my priorities. You know, and I think that this comes back to, you know, having a discipline in you to be able to see, okay, this is what's going on. I don't like all of it, or I don't like all of the the amount that's on my plate, or the struggles that are in my life. But it's what's happening right now. It's what I'm facing, it's what I'm dealing with. And it's a I won't be a victim to it. It's where's your mindset on it? Is that are you moving through it? Are you even from a believer standpoint, looking at maybe God has you in this place, doing especially really extreme things, maybe you're in a place because he wants you to be going through it? Or trusting that he is in it, when you're going through things in your life that are challenging. So initially, when you when you cue this up, I was hearing, and maybe there's something to this, or maybe not, but I was hearing just here's your reality, you just got to accept it, you got to deal with it almost like in a victim sense. And that's where I was going to be like, if I'm hearing that, if I can add an extra rule. Can I add a rule? I would say absolutely not. Let's not do that. But let's go the the other path that I was I was speaking to.

Chris LoCurto 32:03
Yeah, I think I mean, obviously, I wish I could give you a disagreement. I think I'm, I do see a lot of people, you know, we see with leaders all the time, where they don't want to face that confrontation, they don't want to face, you know, we see we talked about a lot with high S's and high C's that don't like conflict, where you have a tough conversation that you have to have with somebody, and you're avoiding it, and you're avoiding it and you're avoiding it. We have, you know, a I don't know a heavy report that we've got to put out or spend time on our project that we got to spend time on. And instead of doing that we're going through the emails and laughing at the YouTube videos of cats and stuff that are coming through. It's not difficult when we want to avoid something that we know is either going to be painful or difficult, as you said, unsavory, it's not difficult for us to find other things to focus on.

The problem is, is once again it goes back to that every time you say yes to something you send out or something else. For the highest especially, we talk about this all the time, every time you procrastinate the tougher thing, because you think it's going to get if you just give it time, it's going to go away. Or if you just give it time, you know, it'll work itself out, it becomes a pot, you know, you sweep it under the carpet, and it becomes this pile of things that eventually crashes down. And now you got to handle multiple difficult situations, because you didn't just jump in and handle it. Now. This is coming from a high s I'm a very high s personality style. I just do the things that we teach, right so the my ability to solve things and get over things is because I just got frustrated with it in my younger years of just going this is stupid every time I don't face this thing. Or if I don't handle this thing. Somehow it comes back and bites me in the butt. And sometimes it's even bigger because it's along with three other things that I didn't tackle. So I think the thing that we have to do is if we can get in the practice and again, we use the word practice a lot around our place because it is a practice you don't become this overnight. You're not an expert overnight. If I will practice when something pops up that immediately inside I've got the red flags, right my my heart rate kicks up the adrenaline starts pumping. It's the thing I don't want to face. If I will just tackle that one thing right then and there. Just get on it. Just handle it. Just do whatever is necessary and see what happens. Yes, it may be painful. Yes, it may be difficult, but if I do do that, then what I discover is I actually solve the thing. And I'm done with it. And I am so much happier. Five minutes later, when everything is said and done that I'm like, Oh, I did it, I dealt with it, I don't have to deal with that anymore. It's taken care of. Right? So if I understand what you're asking Brian, then yeah, the issue that whenever we start putting in, you know, marketing emails from whoever some, I don't know, I don't even know, whatever company, you know, food company, clothing, company, whatever, that's coming into our email inbox. Because we'd rather deal with that, then deal with the tough thing that we've got to do, then not only are we not handling that situation, and convincing ourselves that it's going to work itself out, it's just going to go away. But we're creating an issue that's going to, you know, compound for us. On top of that, here's one thing that we rarely think about. If I'm, let's say, I'm supposed to have a tough conversation with you, let's say you've done something, and you know, I've got to jump in there and fix it or guide or direct, or, you know, I've got to train a team member because they're doing something the wrong way. And I know it's gonna be, you know, painful for that team member, whatever the thing is, when I delay, it doesn't mean that I've got to hit it exactly when it happens, right? It could be very reeling for the other person. If I just jump in and go, Hey, that was stupid, don't do it that way, which I probably shouldn't be jumping in saying, Hey, that was stupid. If I don't jump in and say, Hey, let's talk about this situation, let's, let's let me teach you how to do this thing. It could be difficult for that person in the moment. So maybe I give them a little bit of time, but it's a little bit of time, right? It's the amount of time to let them process through yada, yada, yada, but then I've got to jump in what tends to happen for so many people in so many leaders, and even so many business owners is that they are like, I'll handle it there, that person's busy right now, I'll handle that, you know, later on. And then later on becomes a week. And they've completely forgotten about it, and they never got it the person. Now here's what happens. The person who doesn't jump in and guide and direct and help that person grow, tends to become really upset. When that person keeps doing the same thing over and over again. They respond in ways I've seen this so many times they respond on what why can't that person just do the right thing? And yet, when I go, have you had the conversation with them? No, they should just know this. How should they know it? Have you had the conversation with them? No, but seriously, it's not that difficult. Have you had the conversation with that person? And what you find out is, is that leader, that owner, that spouse that you know, parent, is show fearing the confrontation and wanting to avoid that confrontation, that they just expect that the person do things correctly, don't have the conversation with them, and then they just continue to get upset. Then ultimately, what happens after so many times they're really upset with the person who still doesn't know exactly how that leader, Owner, parent spouse feels. And so then when they're so upset that they, you know, slam their fist down on the table? Dang it, why aren't you doing this the right way? Well, now we're, you know, we're so far into it, that you're immediately putting somebody on the defensive, you're immediately on the offensive and frustrated. And now it's it's not a hey, let me teach you how to do this right. Now. It's a battle between two people who's right, who's wrong? You know, why are you handling it this way? All that kind of stuff. So I'm a firm believer. Again, if I've, if I've got the rule correctly. Yeah, you got to handle it, you got to tackle things. If the reality is if your reality is you have a problem that needs to be handled, handle the problem, if you've got a situation that needs to be handled, handle the situation, if you start distracting yourself with other things that are easier, less painful, less confrontational, then what you're going to find out is you will stack up the conflict and confrontation for another day. And then it's all gonna pile up and crush them on top of you. And then you got to handle everything. So that is my lesson.

Brian A 39:37
All right. Well, I think this information has been helpful. If it's not, please let us know. Drop us a line tell us where we could disagree more, or in a more entertaining way. But here's here's how we've set this up for eliminating distraction. We want to create some boundaries stop scrutinizing and accept the pain full truth of where we're at and what we have in front of us. If that's been helpful, drop us a line as well. We'd love to hear from you. And so this has been a fun little series of three different episodes, three rules for something or rather, go back and listen to the other two, if this is the first one that you're hearing. And if you've got an idea for what you'd like to hear three rules for send us that as well. Drop us a comment, send us an email, let us know smoke signals flare anything to get our attention because we are easily distracted by such things. Alright, folks, well, I hope this has helped you. It certainly has put a smile on all of our faces. And as always take this information, change your leadership, change your business, and change your life. We will we'll see you on the next episode.