598 | When Toxic Relationships Drain Your Team: What to Do Next

Introduction (00:00:00)

On today's episode, how to manage toxic relationships professionally. That is coming up next. Welcome to the Chris LoCurto Show, where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are.

Welcome to the show, folks. I hope you're having a fabulous day wherever you are. Today, we are talking about how do you handle a toxic relationship in your work environment? How do you handle that professionally?

So whether it's a team member, whether it's a client, no matter who it is, toxic relationships can absolutely drain every bit of your energy. It can hurt your business. It can damage your mental health.

I think, I think pretty much everybody listening to this understands that. It is amazing to me with the amount of toxicity that is going around in this world, that people are feeding into it like crazy, that people are enjoying it.

It is. It's almost addicting to some folks to be around toxic behaviors. And I will tell you, as somebody who has experienced this 14 billion times in my life, it is absolutely draining. It is draining for me.

I have watched it drain. Team members, family members. It's just tough. So I will tell you, I am not somebody who likes it. I don't love drama. I definitely don't love toxicity.

So that's. I'm pretty sure if you're listening to the show, you already get that part, but what do we do about it, right?

So we're going to explore effective strategies for managing these types of situations with empathy, with clear communication, with healthy boundaries, which is super important, which I know a lot of you listening struggle with that.

I get it. I'm an 88 high S. You know, a High S. I'm an 88 S on the DISC. If you haven't done your DISC and Values, go to the store. chrislocurto.com/store or store first. I don't know, one of those. And get that done.

Get that in your team. It will blow you away. How. How great it is to understand clear communication, what people are struggling with, all that. So healthy boundaries for a lot of folks can be very difficult to put in place.

It can be very tough to navigate relationships without allowing that to drag you down. Having that healthy boundary can be the thing that helps you not get dragged down.

So as we dive into this, we've got some key points that we're going to hit today.

Understand the Nature of the Relationship (00:02:45)

The first of those is kind of understanding the nature of the relationship. So not every relationship is toxic, right. Not all relationships are the same.

So we're going to kind of walk through some toxic relationships. And what would be the best approach to tackle those, right?

Emotionally Draining Relationships (00:03:04)

So the first one we're going to start with is the one I'm already discussing, and that's the emotionally draining relationship.

So these are the kind of relationships where one person, or, you know, in a home relationship, a partner often demands constant emotional support without reciprocating. So think about that.

This is why this is very draining, right? This is a taker. This is somebody who's constantly trying to get you to support them emotionally. So emotionally, they are coming to you.

They are asking for, requesting, possibly demanding your emotional support. But there's a massive imbalance here, and that imbalance leaves the other person really exhausted.

Now, I'm not saying that you can have lots of energy if we just constantly emotionally balance each other. That's not what I'm saying.

But there is a world of difference, of when you're constantly pouring out, you're a giver, giver, giver. And the other person is a taker, taker, taker. It is amazing how much it affects your emotions.

Like, it's incredible how easy it is to shut off that response when you know how to put in healthy boundaries, how to stop somebody from consistently coming to you for that emotional support and you just walking away drained.

Right. And, you know, part of that is your emotional maturity, because obviously the other person has a level of emotional immaturity.

And I'm gonna say that those of us that have dealt with that before also had a level of emotional immaturity. Or I, you know, the unwillingness to put in healthy boundaries because we allowed it.

You know, you may be allowing that right now in your life. That is something.

In my earlier years, I allowed a lot of. I was a total people pleaser. I'm a high Altruist. I became a doormat for society. Right. I allowed people to just devastate me.

And the thing is, is I didn't realize that I was the one allowing it until God pointed it out to me. I got to a point where I just. I was done with people. I remember in my.

I think it was my mid twenties. Yeah, I think my mid twenties, I was just like, I'm done. I don't want to talk to people. I don't want to be around people. I'm just so tired of being hurt.

And then one day, I felt like God revealed to me, hey, you didn't have to allow them to hurt you. Oh, my goodness. That's right. I did allow every bit of that.

I didn't have healthy boundaries. I didn't have take responsibility for allowing it I just allowed it to happen and then it devastated me. And really, like I say to the point that I was, I didn't want to hang around anybody.

I don't want to be around anybody. I cut off relationships. I cut off all kinds of stuff.

Praise God, he pulled me out of that, helped me to see things differently, helped me to overcome, solve that, and then be able to teach you guys.

Right? And it's not saying that I don't struggle with that. Oh, my gosh. I still have emotional situations that come up that can drain me. I'm just so much better nowadays, if you follow the things I'm telling you.

I'm just much better now at cutting it off, recognizing it, seeing it. Because for me, I'm the guy who wants to help everybody. I want to help everybody become better.

I want to help everybody overcome, you know, bad stuff, terrible stuff in their lives. I want to help.

But, and unfortunately, that is also something that somebody who is a taker can recognize very quickly, and they will step up and try and take, take, take.

But they will learn pretty quickly that I will, at a point, just stop. All right, that's enough. I can't help with this anymore. Right?

You've got to go do something. You've got to go fix something. I'm not just going to be here just to support you emotionally, right.

If you're somebody who has constantly, always got problems that you want to solve and you don't have the right answers, nothing, you just keep digging, digging, digging in.

But you never actually do anything with any of the information or the support that you're getting.

Well, you're just a taker, right? Grow a backbone. Do something about it. Do something with the information you're getting. Do something with the support that you're getting.

So, well, what about you as an individual? How do you deal with this emotionally? You know, just training type of relationship. Well, the best approach is going to be, and you're going to find this is going to be on.

A lot of stuff is clear communication and absolutely setting healthy boundaries.

Now, I'll talk a little bit more about setting healthy boundaries in a bit. So don't be afraid to have open discussions about emotional needs, about balance. Right.

You could be suggesting to the person therapy, you could be suggesting to the person self care practices. But guess what? What do you need as well?

So when you have somebody who's emotionally draining, make sure that you're communicating with them clearly.

Hey, listen, I'm here to help, but. Right. And here comes the healthy boundaries, you know, make sure that you clarify what those boundaries are.

Hey, I would love to have a 30 minutes conversation about this, or I would love to see if I can't help in some way or whatever the defining boundary is that you need to put in place, put it in place.

One thing that you'll see me do is, as I help, help, help, eventually I'll go, okay, well, listen, you have enough information.

You just got to make a decision and go and do something about it. Because what I see is, is that I'm about to get myself stuck in the same vicious cycle.

Being emotionally drained of somebody who continues to push for support. That's when I'm just like, hey, you've got answers. Go do it. Or I'll flip it around on. I'll say, hey, what do you think you can do?

What do you think you should do? Now, keep in mind, I'm a very high Altruist. It's my highest value on the Values or Motivators. We call it Values. We call it Motivators. That's my highest one.

So, for me, I want to develop people. I want to remove pain from the world. I want to help, I want to help, I want to help. But what I've come to realize is, is being that emotional support dog that's always there doesn't help.

It doesn't help. What it does is it enables. So if I will see what's going on and realize my worth is not tied to this, folks, I'm not going to get my worth from being that emotional support dog.

I'm gonna help, help, help, help. But I'm doing it so that the person makes a decision to go do something about it. If they don't, then, hey, you know what?

I gave a bunch of information. Which one of those things do you think you should work on? Which one of those things do you think you should tackle first? So that's the first one.

Controlling or Manipulative Relationships (00:10:14)

Second one, second type of toxic relationship that can absolutely be draining is the controlling relationship or the manipulative relationship. Oh. Whoo.

I'm betting there is a ton of people right now that are just like, oh, I've got about four of those.

Right? So a controlling person, controlling partner, whatever you want to look at, whether it's a team member, somebody at home, family member, uh, they may use a lot of manipulation.

They most likely are guilt tripping. They are probably, you know, a very. A buzzword nowadays would be gaslighting. That definitely is going to happen from a controlling or manipulative person.

They may even use coercion to maintain the dominance that they have in the relationship.

Now, when I say dominance, don't think I'm talking about only High Ds are controlling or manipulative people. That's not what I'm talking about.

What I'm talking about is a controlling or manipulative person sees the opportunity to use tactics. Uh, even though it may be subtle, like I say, it could be gaslighting.

It could be, um, something like restricting social interactions. It could be all kinds of stuff. Extreme cases, uh, could lead to emotional abuse, right?

It could be anything. But they're using those to obviously gain control. But what we're really looking at is to be able to either gain or maintain power in their minds. They believe that they're gaining power.

It is hilarious to me because I am a public figure, because I do this, that I will have some controlling people in my life, people I love dearly, people who are friends, but they've got to come along and they feel like they have to take a.

I always say it's like trying to take me down a notch, right? Like, they have to come in and. And say something to try and take me down a notch so that they feel powerful.

You've probably experienced that from people in your life where everything is just going along just fine, and then they just say some ridiculous comment.

And the comment is intended to hurt, right? It's intended to hurt you so that they feel like they, you know, I say it's taking you down a notch, but really what it's intended to do is to lift them up notch, right?

So that they feel more powerful. It's sad. It is sad. I, like I say I have people that I love dearly that. That do this, and they just don't get it. They don't seem to understand.

And, you know, with my response, I'm usually just going to bite my tongue and let them do their little thing. I'm not gonna feed into it. See, that's what they want.

A controlling or manipulative person wants you to respond so that they feel like they've won.

The thing that I've discovered is there are great ways of affirming the thing that they're saying and them thinking that they're winning and not realize that what you've done is really just, you know, pointed out the fact that they're being controlling.

It's. I know that that's. That's probably pretty vague. I don't know if I actually want to share any of those things right here, but, yeah, there, there's ways of, you know, responding to somebody who's controlling or manipulative with your hat in hand, with.

And by that, I don't mean, you know, super submissive. What I'm saying is, is that you care for them in a way that points out the thing that they're doing, but you're also caring for them in that process.

Right. So I know that's. That's decently vague. Um, maybe someday I'll. I'll share some of that stuff. I don't know. I I think that's. That would possibly take up a whole nother episode.

So what is the best approach for you if you're dealing with somebody who's controlling, somebody who's manipulative? Um, usually it's super important. It's vitally important to recognize the manipulation early.

Now, if you're like me, I'm a very trusting and very loving person. I trust people until I see them doing something wrong. So it may take me a second, um, to recognize what they're doing now. When I was younger, whoo, it could take forever.

When I was in my late teens, well, I mean, all my childhood, uh, up into my late teens and into my early twenties, my early twenties is when I really, really started becoming good at recognizing the manipulation.

But, my gosh, it could take a hot minute. Back in those days, I mean, it--

It would be something that I would just be drug into, like crazy, thinking that I was going to be there to help somebody or, you know, guide somebody to better solution or whatever, and next thing you know, I'm just being manipulated like crazy.

So first thing you need to do is understand how important it is to recognize what's going on. I don't want you to walk around thinking, I can't trust anybody.

I don't want you to walk around thinking, this person is probably trying to manipulate me.

What I want you to do is I want you to, as you're in a conversation, in an interaction with somebody, don't always focus on just the content of what they're saying.

Instead, what I'd like you to do is focus on what they're doing. Are they doing things? You know?

So, yes, they may say something that is like, oh, gosh, that was harsh, or, man, that hurt, or whatever, and you immediately go into defensive mode or defensive posture or explaining yourself or whatever.

I don't want you to do that. What I want you to do is ask yourself, wow, that hurt. What is this person trying to accomplish? Wow, that seemed very rude. What is this person trying to accomplish?

Wow, that seemed like that came out of left field. And that's one thing about manipulative people or controlling people is they wait until the right moment to just, bam, pop you one, right.

And you're not expecting it, and they know you're not expecting it. So it's important for you to ask yourself, what is this person trying to accomplish with that comment?

What are they trying to do? Are they trying to, um. Are, is there hope? Are they suggesting to me now?

We, we say all the time, oh, that person made me feel, you got to move that stuff out of your language, and I'm stumbling through it right now to just get past that.

Is this person suggesting that I feel bad about myself? That's a great thing for you to ask with that comment.

Is this person suggesting that I feel bad about myself? If so, then what does that make me think? Do I think I should feel bad about myself, or do I think, uh oh, here's somebody who's struggling with something.

I wonder what they're struggling with. So hopefully that makes sense. The sooner you can do that, the sooner you can recognize the manipulation, the sooner you can ask the question, what is the person struggling with now?

Maybe they've made a comment, and they are spot on. Maybe they said something rude, but you did something rude. If so, take responsibility. Suck it up, buttercup.

You know, you take responsibility of you, you might have a great opportunity to push back and go, hey, could you handle that a different way? Can you handle that in a better way?

You know, it might be opportunity for you to have a discussion on how you can be approached.

But the important thing is, if you know what they're doing, then you might recognize very quickly that this is somebody who is, who needs a very healthy boundary, very firm, healthy boundary put in place immediately. Right.

They may need to go seek somebody else for support, definitely not you. And it's very possible this might be the thing that, you know, ends your relationship. It might be the thing that, you know, this type of behavior, many times can escalate like crazy.

And if it does, you've got to make a decision. Do you want to be there for it or do you want to step out? Right.

So that's one of the things that I've had to choose in my life, is when I have somebody who's controlling or manipulative, do I want to remain in the conversation? Do I want to respond?

And then they're going to respond back, and then I'm going to respond back, or do I want to just bite my tongue?

Recognize that the person is struggling themselves and just kind of back away, back out of it. It's hilarious how many times somebody's taken a shot at me and I just kind of like, don't say anything.

And then 5, 10, 15 minutes later, they come back and they're like, oh, you know, I was. That was just a joke. And, you know, I probably shouldn't have said that. It helps them to see that they're doing something that they shouldn't be doing.

Passive-Aggressive Relationships (00:18:59)

So another relationship, toxic relationship that will drain you is the passive aggressive relationship. Now, as I dig into this, I want to make sure that you are checking yourself on each one of these.

Are you the person that is having this type of relationship? Are you the person who's passive aggressive? Because it's very possible that you are so crazy.

Thing is, is that many times people deal with the controlling and manipulative person and they end up becoming passive aggressive.

So it could be you, right. It's something you need to ask yourself. So passive aggressive behavior is a. It's a. It's a much more subtle form of toxicity, right.

It's where a person avoids, like, direct communication about something, and instead, they might express dissatisfaction or frustration in a totally indirect way. Right.

So instead of being able to say, hey, I'm really struggling with the comment that you just made, you know, I don't.

I feel like that was rude, or I feel like that was definitely unnecessary, you know, what people will do is instead of being direct and bold with that person, they'll start to make comments.

They must. Wow. Apparently, today is the day that I'm just, you know, hanging around rude people. Wow. I mean, I've just. I feel like I've had this all day long.

And so instead of pointing it out to the person, they make these other types of expressions of their dissatisfaction. Right.

And that is, you know, that can create a lot of confusion. It can create a lot of tension in itself. Right. It's definitely where the underlying issue is not addressed. Maybe barely, maybe if.

If you read between the lines of the comment of the passive aggressive person, you might be able to see what they're talking about. But a lot of times, you have to really dig in there and find out what in the world's going on.

You know, that they're making a comment to you about you, whatever it is, because of the way that they approached you, the way that they said the comment around you so that you can hear it.

Something I've experienced many times in the past is folks that will position themselves.

I've been in I've been in one on one conversations sometimes with folks, and they will position themselves so that somebody else overhears the conversation and you can tell because they keep positioning.

And so for me, I'll do this little dance back the other way. Right. Just to see is this actually what's going on? Well, that is a passive aggressive approach. Why?

Because what they're hoping is, is that somebody else hears the conversation and it's not a direct conversation to that person.

Lots of people do. I shouldn't say lots. There's a handful of people that will do this, right? That is that passive aggressive behavior that really just needs to be handled directly with the person.

Why does that suck for you if you're the person who's in that conversation with them? Well, if somebody else hears the conversation that it was intended for, they see that you're a part of it. They see that you're having that conversation.

So that's where I will usually, if somebody is trying to communicate a message to somebody else, I will usually just either move us over closer to that person or invite that person into the conversation or something because I'm not going to be singled out as somebody who's sitting there gossiping about somebody else on this junk.

I mean, it's just ridiculous. So what do you do about it?

How do you handle this? Best kind of approach is make sure that you have transparent communication. You've got to acknowledge that the passive aggressive behavior is happening. Right?

You've got to focus on discussing the concerns that either they are having in an open, kind of clear way. Right? Talk about the misunderstandings if there's something that's a misunderstanding.

But point out again, don't just focus on the content of what's being said. Focus on what they're doing. They're doing something, they're expressing a frustration.

They're doing it in a way that is definitely not direct. And, you know, what can you do? Hey, I'm not really understanding what you're saying right now.

Would you do me a huge favor and be more direct? It sounds as though you're frustrated. It sounds as though you're struggling with something. And what I'd love is if you're expressing that to me, what I'd love is you.

Just to be clear, just tell me what it is. What is it that you want me to know so that we can discuss it? I would be glad to discuss that. Now.

Maybe you wouldn't be, but the more that you get stuff out, the less you have to deal with that toxic relationship. If you will call it out, what you will find.

This is in my experience, and I'm not talking about like a, you know, colossally off the chart passive aggressive person who's just so out of control they can't, they can't fix themselves.

But what I have discovered is, is when I call stuff like that out. I'm so sorry. I don't understand what you're saying. Can you just be more clear about that? Just be direct.

Tell me, what is it you want me to know? What I find is, is that people are like, oh, well, I'm struggling with the thing that you said. Okay, great. What thing? Well, when you said this over here.

Oh, okay. Why were you struggling with that? Well, I'm offended by it. Well, why are you offended by it?

Well, because, you know, I took it this way. Oh, I completely understand. My bad. I didn't communicate that clearly enough. This is what I meant by that. Does that make more sense?

I'm so sorry that I didn't communicate that clearly. Next thing you know, it's over with. Right? So don't be afraid to speak to them with transparency.

Hey, I'm hearing this or I'm experiencing this. I would. If you can just tell me. Tell me directly what it is.

I have been in so many StratPlans, you know, leadership conversations where a team member is being passive aggressive to their leader.

The leader's going, I'm thoroughly confused that. I'm like, just ask them to be direct with you. And once they do, it really throws off the passive aggressive person because they weren't expecting that.

And then they're. They're having to be direct at that point. So just a great way to handle that type of relationship.

Codependent Relationships (00:18:59)

Another toxic relationship is the codependent relationship.

Now, in a codependent relationship, I think a lot of people are confused about this, but one person is usually excessively dependent on the other person's emotional validation.

So while the other person thrives on being needed, often they end up neglecting their own needs. So it is.

You've probably seen this with a codependent person who is married to an alcoholic, where the need of them being by the side of the alcoholic actually enables the alcoholism. Right.

The codependent relationship actually enables the person to continue to be an alcoholic because the other person is getting so much validation by being needed by the alcoholic.

I know it sounds for so many folks, you're listening to this and you're like, that's crazy.

But there's a good number of you out there that are going, yep, I totally get it. I understand it. I've experienced it.

My parents, you know, one of my parents was that way, you know, codependent to the other parent. So there's so many different ways that people are codependent. Right.

I can tell you, as a young high Altruist, codependency was something that I struggled with because of being somebody who wanted to help heal, direct guide, you know, all that stuff, remove pain from somebody's life.

I would find myself being validated when I helped them. This is a very. It's another part of the people pleaser process that I would get validation by helping.

But it took me years to figure out that I wasn't actually helping, I was enabling. And so I was feeling worth. But at some point I started going, hold on a second.

Change just isn't happening. And this person just keeps making these decisions and doing what they're doing.

And I'm getting drained and I'm getting, you know, I'm giving everything I possibly can, but nothing's actually changing. And that's when I realized, oh my gosh, I am stuck in this and I'm allowing this to happen again.

Like I say, later on I discovered I allowed a lot of that stuff to happen because I didn't realize what I was doing, that I was enabling other people to do what they were doing and to treat me the way that they were treating me.

You've got to take responsibility for that. You've got to realize, listen, you are not helping somebody.

I have seen some very, very sad relationships where one person is getting their worth by the other person, destroying themselves physically, mentally, emotionally.

But the codependent person was allowing this to happen, enabling this to happen because they received so much worth in the process. Folks, that is, that's just toxic. That is unhealthy.

It's a dynamic that leads to, you know, your loss of individuality as a, as a person. And it just sets the other person up to continue to, to destroy themselves.

And I know a lot of you out there are going, how, why would anybody do that? Well, you just haven't been there yet. That's not you. That's not something you've experienced.

But when somebody gets so much worth from being that support for another human being, then it'll make sense.

So what do you do? What is the best approach? Both partners, both people should work on fostering independence. That is absolutely a must. You have to recognize how much you've lost of you.

Both partners must work on personal growth. Therapy is probably really good for both individuals as well as couples that are, that are struggling with this. It can help break the cycle of the codependency, can help kind of promote healthier interactions.

And here's the thing. A lot of times the person with the big dependency doesn't recognize that they're being enabled and they just continue because they're usually numbing themselves like crazy.

So it's powerful. It's an amazing thing. When a person who's struggling with some level of toxicity on their own, some level of dependency on their own, alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever it is, when they get freedom from it.

You know, struggling with past relationships, struggling with abusive relationships in the past, when they get freedom from it, all of a sudden there's this strength when they get.

And the way that they get freedom is, you know, usually through great awareness. Next-Level Life is powerful for that.

Next-Level Life is a fantastic event to go through to get freedom from a bunch of the junk that you've experienced in the past. Don't be ashamed of it. Come and learn about it. Come and grow in it.

You know, if you're somebody who's struggling with past abusive relationships or alcoholism or whatever, get your butt in.

There's a lot of stuff that we can do to help you to overcome that. But it's been amazing to me in my life to watch somebody become stronger and a codependent person wither.

I mean, just kind of melt. Wait a second. You can't get stronger because that's my worth. If you stop your struggle, whatever it is, what am I going to do?

This happens, folks. It happens. Both people need help. Both people do.

Obviously, the one with the dependency needs help overcoming the dependency and the one with the codependency needs help finding themselves again and recognizing that enabling somebody to destroy themselves is not a good thing, it also destroys them in the process.

So both partners need help in this process. Again, I highly suggest therapy. I highly suggest Next-Level Life. That's super helpful to overcome both sides of this now.

And I should say that as I've watched people struggle, the codependent person struggle, we've also helped those folks to overcome the codependency piece. So that's important thing to say.

Abusive Relationships (Emotional, Psychological, or Physical) (00:32:17)

The next toxic relationship, and just this is just one that I just struggle with so much is, is the abusive relationships.

Whether it's emotional, whether it's psychological, whether it's physical, these are ones I just, I. I have experienced plenty of this.

I've experienced plenty of these types of relationships, especially my younger to mid years of my life. And it took a long time for me to grow backbone and start pushing back on this crap.

You should not allow this in your life. You are worth more than ever being in an abusive relationship. And unfortunately I have chosen many of those in my past days.

Praise God that he showed me how to overcome and how to become a strong independent person, go back to my, you know, being able to love people with my whole heart but have healthy boundaries and keep out the abusive relationships because they, man, they pay a toll.

I mean, so nowadays I find myself bowing up pretty quickly when I see somebody being abused. That's just something that I, I don't do well with. That's, that's my mission right there.

I don't do well watching somebody get abused. So I can push pretty, pretty quickly. And doing what I do for a living, that has given me tools to be able to do so.

And that is what we help other people to have, is tools to be able to push back on those abusive relationships.

So again, I will tell you, if you are experiencing an abusive relationship in any way, emotional, psychological, physical, sexual, whatever it is, get your butt into Next-Level Life and let us help you.

We can give you tools. We can help you to understand, we can help you to understand your struggle.

We can help you to understand why you're not able to put in healthy boundaries, why you've, you know, you've wanted to, but you haven't been able to.

And, and then we can give you the tools to do so. So get your butt in Next-Level Life. The most severe form of toxic relationships involves abuse. You know, it can include verbal attacks.

It can be manipulation, isolation, which, by the way, when you should notice, if you're being isolated, that is one of the great steps of an abuser, is to get you away from anybody who might be strong.

Right? Intimidation is massive and unfortunately, so can physical violence be now a lot of abuse.

I've experienced a lot of emotional abuse in my life from grandiose narcissists, from vulnerable narcissists, from all types of narcissists.

Unfortunately, I was trained to believe that I needed these people in my life. And praise God, I came to a place of recognition. I do not need them in my life.

But there is a lot of abuse, physical abuse, things that I've experienced in my life that is just, you know, it's terrible, folks.

You should not have to experience this. You shouldn't have this. You shouldn't have physical violence in your life. If you've experienced that, I get it. I understand. I know how tough it is.

I know how tough it is when you have somebody who is telling you how amazing you are and how much they love you and then five minutes later telling you how you're the worst person on the planet and how horrible you are and, you know, all the things that they can possibly come up with to tell you how you're the reason for all of their problems in their lives, in their life.

I get it. I understand that you have to recognize that allowing yourself to stay in that one more minute is so detrimental and toxic to you. You are the priority, not the other person.

They are not the priority. You are. And you need to get as far away from that as you possibly can. Now, important thing to understand, these types of relationships are usually very, very persuasive.

There's a lot of times people can be, you know, their ability to be abusive can convince you of things that, you know, you start believing about yourself.

They can lie to you about all kinds of things about you, how, how horrible you are, how much you deserve this, how terrible you are, how it's your fault.

You know, I'll never forget the experiences of putting somebody abusive in that. Finally putting somebody abusive in their place in my, in my life. And that person just doing the pendulum swing to crying and oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

And then later on throwing in, but you know, it's your fault, right? This crazy, ridiculous, persuasive crap that they can do. You do not need that.

Not only can it be very persuasive in your life, but it also can be incredibly dangerous, Very dangerous. Because that toxicity is pervasive. It can really penetrate every aspect of your life.

You've probably, if you've experienced this, you probably not only experienced it at home, but you watched it play out in personal relationships.

You may even have somebody who's affected your work because they're so toxic.

So once again, what is the best approach? First and best approach is to recognize you are the priority. You have to get you safe. You have to get you to a place where you are safe, a place where you can be strengthened strong.

A place that you can work on rebuilding you knowing who you are, knowing what truth is.

So reaching out to. We would love to help. We would love to help. This is where our hearts are, is helping folks that have gone through just terrible crap. It's, it's part of our icon, our, the Chris LoCurto icon.

One of the things we have a shepherd's crook, because we love to shepherd, shepherd people, get them to sustenance, get them to education, teaching, learning, all this kind of fun stuff.

We also have the arrow in there that points to how we help people to protect themselves, right? That's, that's what that means to us.

So get to professionals, get to family or friends who are not also toxic, right? Don't go from one toxic abusive person and ask another toxic abusive person to help you. They will not. They cannot. So get to friends or family that can support you.

Trust them. And when you have somebody who can be trustworthy, listen to them. When you have somebody who is not trying to control or manipulate you but wants to get you help, listen to them.

Quit convincing yourself that you must be around this person, that you must help this person. Know that this person does truly love you. Love does not abuse.

Let me say that again: Love does not abuse.

If you would like to know the biblical definition of what love is, read the Bible. See what God says love is. Love is selfless sacrifice.

He loved the world so much that he gave up the most precious thing to go through the world's worst death so that we could have eternity with him, so that we could follow his ways, so that we could be adopted into his family.

Love is selfless sacrifice. Love does not abuse. So make sure that you are putting yourself in a place where you can get help. Those are action steps that you can take on those.

Identifying the Severity (00:40:48)

Each individual relationship, one thing you do need to do is you do need to identify the severity, right?

Like I said, not every relationship is toxic. And maybe not every relationship is severe. Maybe it's just, you know, maybe it's slightly toxic, right?

Some relationships may have potential for improvement if both people are willing to work on the issues. Right?

You know, for instance, emotional imbalances or passive aggressive tendencies can sometimes be resolved through the open communication I talked about.

Sometimes it can be, but we can go to the other end of this, to the abusive one and realize that a lot of times trying to help only escalates.

So if you recognize that level, then you might be recognizing the need for an exit plan that you, you got to do something about this.

So wherever you are, set the stronger boundaries. If it's, if it's not, you know that super toxic.

If it's not severe, then use the boundaries necessary, don't overdo it, don't put up strong hard boundaries if they're not necessary, and then increase those the more severe the relationship is.

Folks, if you've been listening to me for any length of time, then you know the number one issue when it comes to business, when it comes to family, when it comes to friendships, is having a lack of high quality communication to make sure that you are absolutely winning in every aspect of your life.

It all starts with having great communication.

The best way to get that communication is to understand your personality style and to understand the personality style of the folks that you're spending the most time with, whether it be at work, whether it be at home.

The best way to do that is to go to chrislocurto.com/store and get your personality profile and personality profiles for your team today. Get it for your family members today.

As you go through that profile, you will begin to see the greatest ways to communicate. Go to www.chrislocurto.com/store today.

Know Yourself and Your Boundaries (00:40:48)

So, moving on, I want to talk about knowing yourself. One of the most important keys is self awareness. You have got to know you. You've got to know your personality style. Don't guess it. Like I said, if you haven't done it, go do it. Go get it done.

You've got to know how you act and react to information, how you give information, how you receive information.

You need to understand how your personality style handles toxic relationships because every personality style handles them differently.

So the more that you understand your personality style and how you react to conflict or, you know, how unintentionally you might do something, you might even be allowing toxicity to grow and settle in some of your own relationships, right?

If you don't understand how you respond, if you don't understand, you know, how you act around this type of stuff, you could actually be allowing this stuff to happen in your relationships, not recognizing it, moving forward, thinking everything is okay, or you might be realizing that you're struggling emotionally or struggling with energy and not knowing why.

The sooner you recognize your natural tendencies, let's say you like avoiding conflict or, you know, maybe you're overly accommodating to somebody.

The sooner you recognize that and you recognize how much that enables the toxic behavior, then you can move in the direction of setting correct boundaries, putting the right boundaries in place.

But until you know you, until you are self aware, it makes it incredibly difficult for you to put in healthy boundaries. You might not even think they're needed.

I know there's a lot of High Ss and High Cs out there that as I'm going through this, this episode right now, a lot of this is conflict to you.

A lot of this is stuff that you're going, I don't know if I could do that.

Well, the more self aware you become, especially if somebody who is healthy is helping you to become aware, don't, don't become self aware by a toxic person because they will tell you everything.

They want you to think you are, right?

Get with somebody who's healthy and allow them to help you to see who you really are, the authentic version of you, and help you to learn how you respond to things and learn how you allow things into your life and allow them to help you put in or learn, get the tools to actually put in quality healthy boundaries. That's just vital.

The Role of Healthy Boundaries (00:45:53)

So what is the role of healthy boundaries? Well, I can say if you--

If you do not understand your personality style, if you do not understand how to put healthy boundaries in place, then you might end up like so many leaders that have tolerated toxicity in their teams, in their business for long periods of time.

You know, maybe somebody is showing up late all the time.

Maybe somebody is consistently overstepping, you know, relationship boundaries with unreasonable demands or engaging in negative behavior or gossip or backstabbing or any of this kind of junk, right?

And over and over and over again, they do this thing, whatever the thing or things that they're doing, and without knowing how to set healthy boundaries and not understanding you well, you end up allowing them to stay in that role.

Man, there are a ton of leaders listening to this right now that are like, yep, I have done that. I'm. Many of you are probably going, I'm doing that right now.

I've got somebody I know who does not need to be on my team. And unfortunately, I have allowed it for so long. This is why healthy boundaries are incredibly important.

And I will say for you who do not like to put in healthy boundaries, that that is too much conflict, or it seems like too much conflict.

I will tell you once again, as an 88 S, healthy boundaries and accountability are phenomenal tools. For me, you just got to start using them.

It makes it so much easier for you to get over the conflict when you realize what the tool is. It makes it so much easier when you are watching the morale of your team tank because of one person. But you know how to solve it.

You know how to do something with it, right? Instead of just watching the morale of your team continue to tank and you allow it and you don't do anything, and that person stays there and they keep doing the junk that they keep doing.

Practical tips for Establishing Boundaries (00:48:06)

So first thing you need to do is you need to start with the accountability piece.

And accountability starts with an open and direct conversation where you clearly communicate that the behavior that they are expressing that they are having is unacceptable.

And you need to clearly communicate what the expectations are going forward.

So, for example, if you, if, you know, tell a person, hey, in our meetings, it's important that we focus on solutions instead of, you know, spending so much time dwelling on complaints.

I notice that you have a lot of complaints that you bring up all the time in these meetings. Not saying that we don't need to address those, but what we're trying to do is we're trying to focus on solutions instead of just the complaints.

So if there's a complaint, what's the solution? If there's a problem, what's the solution? So help us to switch the conversation over to these solution type conversations.

You know, if we don't, then it just stays negative. Does that make sense? I'm sure that's something you can understand, right?

So that's something you can do with a person, right? You just be clear, set the expectation, be clear about the problem, the behavior that they're doing.

Be clear about it. Now there's a really good chance that they're going to tell you you're wrong.

Somebody toxic is probably going to, you know, depending upon the severity of the toxicity, they might disagree with you and they might throw you under the bus or throw somebody else under the bus and just go ballistic.

It all depends on that level of severity of toxicity in this person. This is where you do not get yourself emotionally handcuffed to the conversation.

Don't focus on what they are saying. Focus on what they're doing. This will help you to continue to set healthy boundaries. So let's say somebody starts pushing back on you.

Well, I don't understand. I mean, it seems like Frank gets to do that all the time. He's talking about these other things. I don't hear you talking about him. Well, most people will go down the road of defending Frank.

That's a waste of time. Hey, help me to understand. What does Frank being negative or bringing up complaints have anything to do with the discussion I'm having with you about you turning your complaints into solution?

You know, just be very clear. If you are not emotionally handcuffed to the attack that's happening or whatever's going on, then you can actually bring them right back to the point that you're making.

You can say things like, I'm not talking about Frank, I'm talking about you. Let's stick with you for right now, okay? This is what we're discussing.

They might throw you under the bus that, you know, we'll. I didn't hear you bring any solutions to the table. They might become super rude. They might do all kinds of stuff to try and throw you off, right?

If you become emotionally handcuffed to that comment, then guess what, you're going to respond emotionally to the comment.

Instead. Look at what they're doing. They're trying to get away from them being the focus and they're putting it on you and, and they're hoping that you're gonna suck it up and apologize and all that kind of junk.

A way you can respond to that is, first off, let's be, let's take caution with the tone there. If you have a problem with me, I would love for you to bring it up within a discussion.

Right. But to attack me with, hey, I'm not bringing solutions is a goal for you to get this off of you. I would be glad to discuss any number of solutions I've provided in a meeting that we've had.

But that's not the discussion right now. The discussion is what you are doing in keeping those meetings being negative. Is there anything you don't understand about that? Do you understand what I'm saying?

You know, you can. There's all kinds of things you can do to keep bringing them back to the discussion at hand.

But you've got to recognize how do you normally respond. What does it look like? Is this somebody who's going to be very domineering?

Is this somebody who's going to deflect like crazy and blame everybody else, whatever it is, if you will, as I say, watch it like a movie.

If you'll watch it like a movie, you know where they're going to go next. Don't be much handcuffed. Make sure that you're communicating very clearly and make sure that you put the expectations in place.

Here's my expectation. The next meeting we go into. If you have something that is a complaint, I would be glad to hear it, but I also want to hear the solution to it. So if there's something that you want to discuss, help me to solve the problem.

Don't just complain about it. Let us know what you think the solution is to it. Right? In fact, bring three solutions. We'll do everything we can to do the best that we can to solve problems.

Problems, you know, whatever it is, make sure that you're clearly setting those expectations.

Set Clear Consequences (00:53:21)

Another thing you may need to do, especially in a situation like this, is you may need to set clear consequences.

So if they don't do that, right, if they are continuing to do the same thing, then you may need to set some example of, hey, if you do this or if you don't do this, then here's the consequence of the behavior continues.

You might limit the individual's involvement in key projects, right? Maybe they don't get to be a part of those key projects. Or, you know, maybe even in severe cases, you know, Begin the process of reassigning their role.

Yes, that is a severe case. But maybe you're even going to be moving in the direction of terminating them, you know, or terminating the relationship.

Maybe it's a team member, maybe it's a friend, maybe it's, I don't know, right?

But you've got to take a look at this and go, you're continuing to do this. If you continue to do so, then you're, you know, and so what we use is choose, chose, chosen, right?

If you choose to continue to speak up with nothing but complaints, with no solutions and turning everything negative in a meeting, then you're choosing your consequence.

I'm not going to allow you to be a part of these key projects anymore. So the choice is up to you. If you choose this behavior, you're choosing this consequence, right?

And if it continues, hey, if you continue, I'm writing you up. And if this continues, I'm going to fire you.

Whatever that process is, make sure that you're also letting them know clearly what the consequences are for their continued behavior. That is vitally important.

Don't just tell them, don't do that. That's not enough, right? That doesn't stop a person. But when they can see that you're going to give them consequences, man, you'll be surprised.

Now, if you haven't done this, then you probably are going to have some people that are going to challenge it.

They're going to push back, right? So you might have to make some examples of some folks, right?

And by doing the exact thing that you're saying you're going to do, if they continue, remove them from the project.

If they keep showing up late, fire them, right? If they keep doing the thing you're telling them not to do. Now, I'm going to say go through our hiring and firing lessons and take a look.

We have a process, a five step, I believe it is process of if you do this, here's this first consequence, second, third, fourth, fifth is, you know, you're out of here.

Now, not everything has to be exactly that way. But I just suggest that, you know, you have a plan and everybody in the whole leadership team works from that same plan consistently. So there's no breaks in it.

Everybody understands that way we're communicating consequences on a regular basis. If you do this, then this happens. Now with all that being said, I, I, I do want you to be strong.

I want you to be strong. I want some of you, I want you to be stronger, right? There's a lot that you got to work on here. So when I say this next part, I don't want this to be your excuse for not being strong.

But this is something that we do need to discuss.

Managing with Empathy and Communication (00:56:35)

So listen, not all, you know, toxic relationships need to end quickly, need, you know, super heavy duty boundaries.

But I will say that managing toxic relationships should, should still be done with empathy, understanding what this person is going through.

Maybe they're being toxic right now because of, you know, something they've recently experienced. Again, maybe the severity is not that great.

It's just something that they're experiencing right now. So try and put yourself in their shoes.

You know, I have relationships with people that I care about, but man, their Root System is jacked up and they, they have not chosen to go through Next-Level Life and fix things and learn things.

So they just have very toxic behaviors. And I just keep a specific distance because I don't want that in my life. I don't want that in my family. Right?

So empathy is, is very important. Grace is incredibly important for the love. God has given you so much grace for all the things that you've done, all the stupid you've done, all the sin that you've done.

He's given you a ton of grace, right? So make sure that you're leveling that out as well. Make sure that your communication is with compassion. Right?

Wrap it in compassion. Care about the person. Understand that again, they may be going through something difficult.

And by the way, when you take somebody who is, you know, if we go back to some of these abusive situations, many times abusers have been absolutely abused.

I'm not saying that it justifies a single action, not a single behavior, but it does help to understand that many times people have gone through horrid stuff.

Doesn't mean that you shouldn't do everything that I told you to do. I'm just saying try to have some compassion in there. Try to understand maybe they've gone through some really terrible stuff, right?

So if you will focus on approaching tough conversations with a mindset of curiosity instead of judgment. Right? It is not difficult for us to step into some of these difficult conversations and already prejudged the situation.

You know, you hear me say, watch it like a movie. What I mean by that is that you're going to see things, you're going to know what this person's going to do because you've seen it before, but also go in it with curiosity.

Yes, maybe you have seen the same old, same old. But be curious, ask questions. You might be able to dig into some things that relieve that person of the specific toxicity they're experiencing in that moment.

It might help them to just kind of lower their defenses.

Now, there's all kinds of times doing what I do for a living that I will see somebody who's bowing up in a situation or becoming super toxic, and I just ask a question a specific way, and they're just like, oh, you get me.

And it just kind of allows them to back out of the toxicity for the moment.

Now, I'm not saying that happens all the time. There's plenty of times somebody's just grabbing the reins of those, of that toxic behavior and they're just riding like crazy, right?

But I can tell you I have had a ton of times where empathy, understanding where somebody comes from and Next-Level Life, it just takes a short period of time for somebody to, to trust and know that they can trust in us as we do their event, right?

Because they realize we actually know what we're talking about. We've been there, we've experienced a lot of this stuff.

So it helps them to drop any defenses, any walls, and then have a healthy conversation because they're, they're working with somebody who has no desire to take them down a notch to control, to manipulate, right?

So try to be empathetic, try to be graceful, try to be as compassionate as you can, but go with curiosity.

The more curiosity you have, the healthier questions you will ask, the wider range of questions you will ask, the greater opportunities you will look for.

So focus on that curiosity. You just might be blown away at how much it changes the entire relationship.

When and How to Part Ways (01:00:52)

So when is it time to part ways? You know, we kind of talked about this with that person who just keeps doing the same thing over and over again.

I will say again, there's so many leaders listening to this. There's so many leaders that I have led over the years. We've all made that mistake of keeping somebody on the team too long.

And you know how much it affects everything. It affects your team, your business, it affects your clients, it affects your home life. It's just not worth it.

I think the most I've ever heard, I think I asked, you know, how who here has somebody that on their team that should have been fired a long time ago?

And I always ask the question, how many years in the. I think seven, I think might be the, the record seven years? I'm like, that person's still in place and they're like, not for long.

So, yeah, it happens. Understand it's difficult sometimes that conflict is just painful. And sometimes the conflict is fear of, oh gosh, if I let this person go, what's going to happen is am I going to lose sales?

Am I going to lose whatever? Listen, somebody who needs to go, I promise you, you'll be much happier on the other side.

Every time I've helped somebody get rid of somebody toxic or abusive, what they've discovered on the other side is that person wasn't doing anywhere near what they thought they were doing.

So be respectful, be firm, be gracious, but be very clear, be very factual about the decision that you're making. Again, use accountability.

Go through the process. This is the next step in the process. This is what we're doing next. If you violate this, then this is what's coming. Make sure that you're sharing the consequences.

But understand that when somebody continues to violate the expectations you have, then you've got to choose to let them go. Now, obviously I'm talking about at work, but guess what, sometimes that rolls over in your personal relationships at work.

Make it super clear, outline it, write it down, make a case, do everything you can in your personal relationships. You may have to do the same thing. That may not look like a write up.

Hey, friend, I'm writing you up. But it may look like, hey, I need to have a very serious conversation. This is a 911 type of conversation, right? This is an emergency. I'm not, I don't want to deal with this anymore.

I don't want to deal with this situation. I don't want to deal with this thing that's happening. We need to talk through this.

Here's steps that I'm going to take if I need you to do these steps, you know, or what solutions do you see that you need to take?

Whatever it is, make sure that you're clearly outlining the next steps, right? In both cases, if it's at work, clearly outline the next steps.

Here's what you can do to change this. But here's what's going to happen if you don't and if it's in your personal life, same kind of thing.

Do yourself a favor and try and avoid debates. Try to avoid them. Watch it like a movie. Don't be emotionally handcuffed.

You know, keep your, put your healthy boundaries in place and try to avoid the debates. Don't get, don't get so stuck on the content.

Focus on what they're doing, right? If you get stuck in debates, one thing is, is that you're going to find you will probably just get tongue tied and you know, it's not going to go the way that you want it to.

It'll probably go the way that they want, which is chaos. The more chaos, the less likely they are to get fired or get have to deal with the consequence, right?

So stay away from debates, show them respect, treat them with dignity, but stick to the things that you need to stick to. Right? Make sure that you're concluding on a respectful note.

Make sure that you're thanking them for, you know, try to do the sandwich. Hey, I love having you here. I love, you're doing a great job over here. Here's the thing that I need to hit.

Here's the thing that's unacceptable and once again just glad that you're here.

You know, if you can say those things, don't lie, but if there is positive stuff that you can throw in there, then try it, right? Keep in mind that this is one of God's kids as well.

You know, this is one of God's creation. So how would you want, if you were a parent, how would you want your child treated in this situation? So do the best you possibly can now.

Self-Care and Managing Your Own Triggers (01:05:24)

Last thing I want to hit. I know this is an incredibly long episode, but one of the things I want you to focus on is, you know, again, toxic relationships are so exhausting.

But it is important, it is vital for you to prioritize taking care of you. Now you've heard, if you've stuck with me for any length of time, you understand my definition of self care.

In so many of the supposed thought leaders in the world today, their definition is two different things. I do not believe the world is on your shoulders.

I do not believe that you're responsible for everybody. I do not believe that you should be selfish and self centered and that self care is all about, you know, forget the world, focus only on you.

That is not what I'm saying. What I am saying is as part of self care is recognize and I hate using this word, I'm going to use it, but I think this is another one of those words that has just become so overused and that word is trigger, right?

So I'm going to use it because there are legitimate triggers out there, but there's also legitimate responsibility that you take for yourself. There's self respect and self worth.

So there's probably a heck of a lot triggers that you actually have and there are more things that you're just allowing it to be a problem, right?

And then there are legitimate triggers. If you come from a abusive relationship, there's a ton of triggers that you have.

If you come from a passive aggressive relationship, then there's a handful of triggers that you will probably experience, right? The key is, is to recognize those and make sure that you're doing something about it when you get so called triggered.

If it is legitimate, right? If it's legit, then you need to be focusing on the negative self talk that is going through your brain at that time.

You need to be able to stop, recognize what you're saying, what you're feeling, what you're experiencing, and start pushing on it quickly, right?

Otherwise you're just going to start absorbing all the negativity from this other person or these other people, right? So instead what I do, whenever I feel that, I start to ask myself, what's going on?

What am I experiencing? What am I feeling? What am I thinking? What am I telling myself? I will go through all these different things and go, oh, okay, here's what just happened.

This person just said this, or this person just did this. I'm receiving it. Stop. No more receiving it. The truth is that is, you know, this thing that I'm experiencing, maybe a negative self talk.

You're lying to yourself about something. Oh my gosh. It is my fault. Oh my gosh. I am responsible for this person's happiness, whatever it is. This thing is not true. This is not true. This is not true. This is not true. So here is the truth, right?

I am not responsible for this person's happiness. I am not responsible for this person's well being. Unless that's, you know, your, your adolescent child, then yes, you are.

You know, we're talking about adult conversations here and start pounding it with truth, right? And I will say the soon you, you want to battle the lies with the truths. Why am I telling myself this? And then battle that why?

Right? Usually it's going to be, oh, I'm losing worth because I experienced this in the past. And you know, this is just like when I had this 10 years ago or whatever it is.

What is the truth? This is not my worth. My worth does not come from this person's comment. My worth does not even come from what this person thinks about me. My worth is in God.

My worth is in his long suffering and his love for me and his pursuit of my heart. And there's so many things that you can pound into that moment. That is truth.

So it is a tool to help you to overcome this junk, right? So do that and then start focusing on how can you manage the stress when dealing with a toxic relationship. I don't want you to.

You know, I will compartmentalize things, but I don't compartmentalize things and then leave them undone. I'm going to come back, I'm going to work on this thing.

But in the moment, I might compartmentalize. I might separate certain things out. You know, I might detach from something in the moment so that I can use critical thinking and not use my emotional brain. Right.

So be mindful of what you're experiencing in the moment. Are you becoming emotionally handcuffed to the situation or are you able to think through it logically and critically? Right.

But always deal with all of the junk so that it doesn't just sit there and pile up inside of you. Right.

So what do you do with the stress? Sometimes, you know, you're. You're still dealing with something incredibly stressful. My wife and I are going through some ridiculously stressful stuff right now.

And we're dealing with it. We are. We have ways of dealing with it. There's a couple of things you can do. Go for a walk. You got cortisol dumping into your gut.

You know, maybe you just got some bad information. You maybe just got, you know, had to have a tough conversation with somebody. Go for a walk, go for a sprint.

Two things that will absolutely use up that cortisol quickly sprinting and pushups. Drop down and give yourself 20. Right? You may realize how quickly you can get rid of that stress by getting rid of the cortisol.

Another great way is if you have the ability to put some ice in a bowl of water and stick your hands in there, hold it in there for I think a minute, you'll notice when all of a sudden that cortisol is just dissipating in your body.

So recognize that the stress is real. Don't go home and drink like crazy. Don't go get mad and argue with people. Don't go do stupid. Recognize your stress and deal with it.

Don't become toxic because somebody else is being toxic. So remember that managing toxic relationships professionally requires clear boundaries.

It requires compassionate communication. A lot of times it requires making tough decisions. But here's the deal. If you are proactive, then you will be able to accomplish this.

It will be amazing at how well you will take care of your well being, how well you will take care of the well being of your team. Just again, use empathy, use grace, lead with those.

But man, you'll be blown away at how much this affects everybody. Not only those directly involved, but those that are just even on the, the boundary lines. That are experiencing the toxicity. So here's something else I would love for you to do.

Additional Resources (01:12:25)

We have some great episodes on toxicity, how to deal with toxicity that goes into other different strategies and things that will help you.

So episode 212, what toxic culture looks like and how to avoid it. Go listen to that. Episode 212. There are times that the customer is wrong.

You know, I totally believe that the customer might not always be right, but the customer should always be honored in the process.

But it doesn't mean that there aren't times that you also have to fire a client. I think I've fired three clients in the last 10 years. Right. I just. I've had to.

And I'm the person who. It's my goal to help, help, help. Sometimes I've had to get to a place where it's like I can't do anything because you're refusing.

So go back and listen to episode 212, what toxic culture looks like and how to avoid it.

Also, episode 285, how to stop toxicity as a leader. Toxicity creates disunity, inefficiency, low productivity, gossip, backstabbing, and listen. The list goes on.

So what do we do about it and how do we prevent it? Go back and listen to those two episodes, 212 and 285. That will help you to overcome a lot of toxicity.

Well, folks, that's all the time we have for today. And yes, I know this is a really long episode, but hopefully this has helped you today.

As always, take this information. Change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and join us on the next episode.