What kind of people do you surround yourself with?
You’ve heard me say that you are the sum of your past and your influencers, and this episode is all about your influencers.
What happens when you hang out with the wrong crowd?
There are a ton of quotes that articulate this but…they often leave out the reason why.
They are incomplete.
The real question is: Why are you in a place where you surround yourself with the wrong people?
To figure this out you have to understand your Root System and understand WHY you do this.
If you don’t understand you’re hanging out with toxic people – hmm…that may be your bigger issue.
You need people in your life that you can trust. Today’s show will help you find those folks.
For most of us, we need to understand our default.
If you’ve been controlled all your life your default will be to hang out with people who control you.
They make you feel like you’re not good enough. You need people to tell you what to do.
If you are the controlling person, you will surround yourself with other controlling people but you will never have them in your life very long.
You can’t control them so you don’t stay friends long.
You try to control through anger and that won’t last.
Instead of people who will push you to be great…you stay in your default, your comfort zone.
If the 5 closest people in your life are not healthy for you – you need to find new friends.
But, ultimately you have to find your self worth from God.
Only one place can give you consistent self worth – it’s GOD!
If you are looking for the approval of anyone other than God you will end up in trouble.
Listen to today’s show and let me know in the comments how you surround yourself with healthy people.
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This is a good point. Had not really thought about it in detail before. So to restate for my own benefit,”It is really hard to make changes in who is influencing your life until you understand why you spend time with the people you do, why this might be unhelpful, and how you are going to choose who to spend time with.”
With this is mind I started thinking about how hard it is for people to make necessary changes (me included). I have seen so many acquaintances, friends, and family members try to separate themselves from unhealthy lifestyles. These include people they spend time with, what they eat, their work habits, and many others. Despite knowing better and having a general desire to be better it was not long before they fell back to the same patterns. (again me included)
I am sure a part of the issue was lack of clarity in the why.
Like driving in ruts in a dirt road it is much easier following existing patterns than to break out of them and go a different direction. You have to really understand why you are putting yourself through these often painful processes.
Such a good reminder. I am going to to be spending the day asking myself this “Why” question.
Great and timely post for me.
Family can be the hardest, like you mentioned in your Thanksgiving podcast this year. Putting up serious boundaries within some family members was met with anger but was such a positive more for our family.