Why Do I Have to Keep Reminding My Employees | 692

Why do I have to keep reminding grown adults to do their job?

Now, if you've ever asked yourself that out loud in your office or in your head at 11 o'clock at night while you're running through tomorrow's list of things to do, then this episode is for you.

So here's the scene. You told someone what needed to happen.

You were clear. You thought you were on the same page, and then it didn't happen.

So you followed up and then it happened again. And you followed up again.

And eventually you start thinking, if I don't stay on top of everything, then nothing gets done.

That is an exhausting place to lead from.

But here's the question I want to open with, and I want you to sit with this before you react.

What if your team isn't the only problem?

What if somewhere along the line, somewhere along the way, you've accidentally taught them to depend on you?

That is what we're getting into today.

Welcome to the Chris LoCurto Show, where we discuss leadership and life and discover that business is what you do, not who you are.

Welcome to the show, folks. I hope you're having a fabulous day wherever you are.

Today we're talking about accountability, if you will, why you're having to remind people of things that should already be happening, what you may have unintentionally created and how to fix it.

You know, not with more reminders, not with micromanaging, but with leadership.

So let's dive into this.

The first thing we are going to talk about is your team is learning from what you do. Now, this isn't something new, this isn't something shocking to you.

You understand this, you get this concept, but I think we completely misunderstand this when it comes to telling people stuff.

Now we understand that if I show up to a meeting late continuously, then guess what my team is going to do? They're gonna show up to a meeting late continuously as well.

They're saying that I'm doing it, they're probably gonna do the same thing.

Not everybody, that's it, it's kind of I'm speaking in generalities.

What Your Team Is Really Watching (02:23:99)

A lot of people will probably take that cue and go, so and so's always seven minutes late. I can be at least five minutes late, right?

That's not what we're talking about. You get that, you understand that.

Well, at least I hope you do. I hope that makes sense, that if your team is seeing you do that, then you're sending a clear message that they can do the same thing.

Here's more of what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when we think that our expectations are communicated by what we say.

You know, we set a standard, if you will. We put it in the handbook. We say it clearly, which nobody reads handbooks, by the way.

We believe that what we've communicated is what the team knows is expected. They understand what we've said is expected.

But that's only half the picture, because your team is also watching what happens when someone doesn't follow through.

And I will tell you, in a ton of cases, what happens is absolutely nothing. And that's where the real communication happens.

We think we've communicated clearly, right? And again, think of the meeting concept. Hey, the meeting starts at nine o'clock. Well, if you come in at nine oh seven, well, then you've communicated something, right?

You say client calls get returned within 24 hours, but one person is always taking two, maybe three days, and nobody addresses it directly.

So here's what I want to ask you. What's the actual expectation? It's whatever that person is doing, because nothing happened.

So here's the line that I want you to hold on to. Your team isn't only listening to your instructions, they're watching your responses.

They're watching what you address, they're watching what you ignore.

They're watching what you walk past. They're watching who gets exceptions.

So here's the uncomfortable challenge that I have for you. What is happening on your team right now that keeps frustrating you?

How long has it been going on? And have you actually addressed it, or have you complained about it more than you've talked to it, you know, in person to the person who's actually going against the expectation?

The Real Reason Leaders Let Things Slide (04:45.294)

Here's what I find all the time in coaching. Sometimes the behavior we're most frustrated by is behavior we've unintentionally taught people that we will tolerate.

That's a hard thing to sit with, but it's actually really good news, because if your leadership helped create the pattern, then guess what? Your leadership can change it.

Now, before you feel like I'm piling on, the leaders who struggle most with this are usually the ones who care most about their people.

Most leaders don't actually let things slide because they don't care. They let things slide because they're trying to be good people.

And folks, I'm gonna tell you that's a valid impulse, right? It's misapplied, but it's valid. So here's what I hear consistently. Chris, I don't want to micromanage.

Valid. Or, I want to give grace, they're going through something difficult. Completely valid, I get that.

Or, you know, they normally do great work. Makes sense, once again, valid.

I don't want to make a big deal out of something minor. And I will tell you, that's a fair thought.

All of those need to change. I get what you're saying, and there are times, you know, maybe somebody's going through something difficult.

Maybe somebody needs a little bit of grace, you know. But here's the deal. Most of the time, it's actually that the leader just doesn't like the conflict.

If you have those exceptions and caveats, and everybody else can see it too, maybe somebody's going through an incredibly difficult time, and it makes sense to the team that we're giving a little bit of grace there, then that makes sense.

But here's what tends to happen internally. You notice that there is an issue, and you have that little conversation with yourself that, you know, most leaders know exactly what I'm talking about.

The, I should probably address that. Or, it's not that big of a deal, or they're having a rough week, or I'll say something if it happens again.

We've all been through it, we've all experienced it. Then it happens again. But now you didn't say anything about it the first time.

Why Timing Matters (07:11.18)

So the conversation feels harder, feels tougher. So you let it go.

And then the third time, and then a fourth time, until you either blow up or resign yourself to the person doing what they're doing.

And on top of all of this, the team member has been completely confused the whole time, because from their perspective, this was never a real issue. Nobody talked to them about it. You let it go for months.

And now suddenly it's a big problem. And I mean, if you've let it go by four times, you're probably responding pretty harshly.

This is why timing matters. The first conversation about a missed expectation is almost always easier than the fifth conversation.

Early on, it's just, hey, I noticed this this week, walk me through what happened.

There's no drama, you don't have to get upset, there's no formal meeting, it's very direct and caring. And most of the time, that's pretty much the end of it.

Hey, help me to understand. When you do that, what are you doing? You're communicating, hey, I noticed a problem.

So if you've already set an expectation and they violated it, you coming back after the first time they've done it and saying something to them, nice, direct, maybe even compassionate, if you will, not dramatic, not blowing up.

Just, hey, help me to understand what happened here. Hey, I noticed that you showed up to the meeting at nine oh seven. Help me to understand what happened there.

Right? Hey, I noticed you showed up late to work today.

And I will tell you, if you have really commission bent salespeople, they will probably think that office hours do not apply to them.

So you may have to have that conversation. The first time that they show up late, have the conversation, because they're probably going to fire back with, well, I made all this money in this number of hours yesterday, I don't know why I have to be here exactly at eight o'clock.

Right. So be prepared.

Now, when you wait, when you allow resentment to build, then that conversation gets loaded with every single thing that you didn't say. The team member can absolutely feel it.

Accountability Isn't Micromanagement (09:35.212)

And you know it doesn't go well. So address things early. Don't wait until frustration becomes resentment.

Now, this may feel like micromanaging. Chris, I don't want to be a micromanager. Listen to me. Accountability is not micromanagement.

Right? Micromanagement is, did you get that done yet? Did you get that done? Have you done that yet? What are you doing right now? What are you working on? You know, all of that junk is micromanagement.

Accountability is not. Do not convince yourself of that, because I will tell you this: accountability tends to be the number one thing I see is the toughest thing to put in place for business owners and business leaders.

Right? So it is not the same as micromanaging. Now, I get you, but that distinction absolutely will help you.

So an employee tells you Monday, hey, I'll have that report by Thursday. Thursday, there's no report. Friday, there's no report.

Monday, you say, hey, where's that report? And they say, so sorry, I'll get it done today. And you say, okay, right?

Let me ask you, did you just hold them accountable by telling them that it's okay to get it done today? Of course not, right? You just let them know that they can get away with it not being done on time.

There is a big difference between telling them that it's okay to get it done today, and actually sitting down and talking about, hey, help me to understand what happened.

You see, in that specific scenario, that is what we call the reminder cycle. The employee drops the ball, you remind them, they apologize, and then you move on.

So guess what's going to happen? The same situation is going to happen again. Folks, that's not accountability.

That is you training them that dropping the ball is fine as long as they say sorry, as long as they say, hey, I'll get that done right away.

Now, here's what a different conversation sounds like. Same situation. You know, Monday comes along. Hey, I want to talk to you about the report.

We agreed that it would be done Thursday, so walk me through, help me to understand what got in the way.

Literally, what you've done is you've started by naming what the agreement was. You named the gap. You asked a question.

You didn't attack, you didn't assume, you didn't lecture, you got curious. You didn't get angry. You got curious. You didn't rip their head off. You were curious. And now you get information.

Now, maybe something happened in their personal life. Maybe they hit a bottleneck they didn't realize they were going to run into, and they didn't bring that to you.

You know, maybe there's some sort of a training gap, which is great, because then you get to figure out that there's training that needs to be done.

Maybe they just didn't follow through. And maybe you didn't know until you asked. That is not micromanagement, folks. That is leadership.

Here's the distinction: micromanagement is, I have to control how you do everything you do because I just don't trust you, right?

Accountability is, hey, we agreed this would happen and it didn't. So let's talk about why. One is about control, the other is about clarity.

So accountability isn't aggression, it is clarity. So let me ask you this: what is the thing that you've been walking past?

What's happening at work that you complain about maybe at home, but haven't addressed with the actual person involved?

You've had the conversation about them with your spouse, maybe with another leader, maybe their direct leader, but definitely you yourself at eleven o'clock at night, you're thinking about this, you're processing this, but you haven't had it with the person who needs to hear it.

So what conversations are you avoiding, and why?

Is it because they'll get angry? Is it because you're afraid that they might leave, which is a common fear?

Is it because you just absolutely hate conflict? That's 65% of people. Is it because you think that they should already know it?

Here's what you have to know. Leadership isn't about dealing with what people should know. It's about dealing with what's actually happening.

When you think, well, they should know, guess what? That's never ever, ever, ever actually fixed a problem.

What's the deal here? Well, they should know, I've already told them once. Totally fixed. Doesn't happen.

I know many of you have said that a thousand times. Well, I've already told them. Still didn't fix the problem, right?

A clear, caring, direct conversation absolutely can fix the problem.

So here's four questions I want you to be asking yourself right now. Have I been clear? Did we agree on what's expected? Have I addressed it consistently? Have I been rescuing instead of developing?

So then go have the conversation you're supposed to have. You know you need to.

Don't wait until you're so frustrated that you can't possibly have a calm conversation. Don't wait until you're ready to fire someone over something you never clearly addressed.

What you want to do is land on being absolutely clear with somebody, and being clear with somebody is not unkind.

Letting somebody continuously miss the mark while you quietly build resentment, well, that's not kind. I can tell you that right now.

Complaining about them at home every night instead of talking to them, it's not kind to you. It's not kind to your spouse. It will not be kind to them when you actually go and have an upset conversation with them.

Right? Doing their job for them and then getting angry because they don't take ownership, well, that's not kind either.

Healthy leadership says, I care about you enough to tell you the truth. I believe you're capable of this. And I'm not going to keep doing for you what you could or should do for yourself.

So what is the conversation you need to have, and then go have it?

Well folks, that's all the time that we have for today. I hope this has helped you immensely. As always, take this information, change your leadership, change your business, change your life, and join us on the next episode.